The "Golden Miracle" had left a ringing in my ears that wouldn't subside. After the roar of thousands, the silence of the penthouse felt like being underwater. We sat at a table laden with more wealth than most of District 12 would see in a lifetime—roasts dripping in plum sauce, mountains of vibrant greens, and crystal bowls of chilled cream.
But we didn't eat like celebrities. We ate like prisoners.
Haymitch sat at the head of the table, his eyes startlingly clear. For the first time since we'd arrived, he looked entirely sober. He pushed aside a plate of untouched pheasant and leaned forward, his voice a low, gravelly rasp.
"Tonight was a victory, but tomorrow is the reality," Haymitch said, pinning me with a look. "You have the sponsors, Zinnia. You have the city's heart. But heart doesn't stop a Career's blade. Let's go over it one last time."
He tapped a finger on the mahogany table for emphasis. "The pedestal. You'll have sixty seconds to look around. Do not look at the Cornucopia. It's a lure, and it's a graveyard. You look at David. You grab his hand the second that glass drops. If you see a pack within ten feet, take it. If not, you turn and you run for the tree line."
I looked at the others. Effie was nodding fervently, her eyes red-rimmed. Portia and Darien sat close together, their hands shaking. They were all terrified for us, terrified that District 1 and 2 would cut us down before we even breathed the arena air.
They didn't know. They didn't know about the quiet promises made in the training shadows. They didn't know that the "Careers" they feared were currently packing their own bags with the same heavy secret I carried.
"I know the plan, Haymitch," I said, my voice steady. It was a half-truth. I knew his plan. I just wasn't sure if the alliance would hold once the blood started pumping. "We stay mobile. We stay together."
"Together," Haymitch repeated, nodding once. "That's your brand. That's your survival. Don't trust anyone else out there, Zinnia. Not for a second. If someone smiles at you in that arena, it's because they're looking for a place to put the knife."
I looked down at my plate, the secret burning in my throat. I wanted to tell him. I wanted to see the relief on Portia's face. But a secret shared was a secret lost, and in the Capitol, walls have ears, and the air has eyes.
Effie tried to offer a final, chirpy bit of advice about "etiquette in the arena," but her voice cracked mid-sentence. She looked at David, then at me, and her eyes welled up. She gathered her silk skirts and hurried from the room without another word. Portia and Darien followed shortly after, their goodbyes whispered and hollow.
I led David toward his bedroom, the obsidian suit of the interview replaced by soft, Capitol-cotton pajamas. But as I went to tuck him in, he didn't lie down. He reached out and caught the hem of my shirt, his knuckles white.
"Mama?" he whispered. The bravado he'd shown to Caesar—the wit and the smiles—was gone. He was just a five-year-old boy again. "Can I... can I sleep with you tonight? I don't want to be in the dark by myself."
My heart, which I had tried so hard to turn to stone, shattered. I didn't say anything; I simply scooped him up. He felt impossibly small against my chest. I carried him to my room, where the floor-to-ceiling windows showed the sprawling, neon-lit maze of the Capitol.
We lay down on the silver silk sheets. David curled into a tight ball against my side, tucking his head under my chin, his small hands clutching the fabric of my shirt as if I might drift away if he let go.
"I'm scared of the tubes, Zinnia," he murmured, his voice muffled by my shoulder. "What if I get stuck? What if you're not there when I get out?"
"I'll be right there," I said, my hand smoothing his hair in a slow, rhythmic motion. "I'll be on the pedestal right next to yours. I'm going to be looking right at you. The second we can move, I'm catching you. I promise."
"The moon and the shadow," he whispered, his breathing finally beginning to even out.
"The moon and the shadow," I repeated. "And the moon always returns."
I stayed awake long after he fell asleep. I watched the lights of the city flicker, thinking of the alliance, the void, and the blades I had mentally sharpened. Haymitch thought we were alone. The Capitol thought we were prey.
Tomorrow, we would see who was right.