What A Pain
"What does this bastard want now? And why would he go through the trouble of making a random boy deliver this letter to me instead of using official channels? First it was Faun, now it's Pashuro..."
Holding my head, I was preparing for another headache. Still, despite my reluctance, I opened the letter and started reading.
...
"...Ah, I see. Yet another person he wants me to give priviliges to."
I did not widen my eyes or act out of character.
Hiding all the emotions going through my mind, I ripped the letter in anger.
"He keeps making all these demands! I'm not his fucking maid! Does he not feel any shame?!"
I continued ripping the letter further and further, until it could no longer be put back together.
Then I threw that chunk into the trashcan.
I leaned on the desk.
"Seriously, that bastard... How would I even go about that as a Guildmaster..."
Those words came straight from the soul.
*********
He Is Evil
"What is the progress?"
"We need some more building material. While earth is scarce so far down, it still exists, so we need to reinforce some tunnels with stone or metal. We've also found some more caves we need to fill in, to make sure no one finds out."
"Hmm..."
He scratched his long beard in thought.
"What about the Eyes? Have they caught wind of anything suspicious?"
"Of course not. I would've informed you had anything happened."
He narrowed his eyes in doubt.
The person looking upwards at him couldn't help but get nervous.
"Is there anything wrong?"
"No, there isn't. And that's the problem. The chances of no one knowing about it are unbelievably small. They must already be moving in our blindspots. Give me the list of all targets we have Eyes on; I'll narrow it down even further and perhaps add some new ones. Then make sure the ones left are even more closely monitored."
"Right away."
The person walked away.
A stylish man with silver hair and sapphire eyes, who was standing to the right of him, smirked.
"I don't get what you're so worried about. We can crush anyone no problem."
The woman with yellow hair, red eyes and glasses, who was standing to the left of him, intervened.
"There's plenty to be worried about. We can't crush someone who's too far away, and killing them too soon would highten the country's guard. In the first place, you can't really say that kind of thing when you're the weakest of our group."
"Hey, I might be the weakest, but I never lose."
The stylish man shrugged.
The woman with glasses could not say anything back to that. Indeed, the stylish man had never lost once, he always came out on top.
'He might not defeat his opponents, but he always mantains a condition where he wins in the end.'
It was captivating to see him get the win despite all the odds time and time again.
"Bring her to me."
The man and woman looked at each other. After communicating with their eyes, the man started walking away.
"Alright, I'll go get her, you groomer."
He did not deny the claim.
The woman got agitated.
"How can he be so arrogant in front of you...!"
"Calm down, he deserves that much at least. He is indispensable. No one can do what he does."
The woman frowned.
"I can understand that, but to give this country to someone like him..."
"I do not care for this country or for being its ruler, and you know it. I wish for something simpler than that."
"Still, to see him acting like that towards someone of your power... Whatever, I'll just release my anger in some other way."
The woman sighed. She too did not care for this country's state; she was only here to witness greatness unfold. But when the person who'll make something that grand happen is being insulted, she can't help but feel like she herself is being insulted. Like her wish is dumb in and of itself. And she hated that.
Soon after, two pair of footsteps resounded in the halls.
A little girl walked in, her hair and eyes a burning crimson. The stylish man followed after the girl.
"Now leave, it's time for her lessons."
The woman pushed up her glasses.
"A change in schedule; more vigorous training... Alright, I'll record that."
The woman started walking out.
"Aw, what did I walk back for, then?"
The stylish man complained, but also left.
He and the little girl were left alone.
*********
Mana Is Annoying
"Ahh... I hate it. All this mana, there's just too much of it! I have to get rid of it, I have to get rid of it, I have to get rid of it, IHAVETOGETRIDOFIT!"
He scratched himself incessantly.
The mana irritated his arms, his legs, his hair; everything on his body.
With each passing year it was getting worse and worse.
He could bear it no longer. He had to do something about all this mana.
'I have to get rid of it. No matter the cost. No matter what.'
"Nonono, I'm getting caught up in my emotions. I have to reduce it first. Yes, reduce it first. And to reduce the amount of mana around me, the easiest thing to do is..."
He looked at a lone boy walking in the dead of night.
His hands twitched.
He quickly shook his head.
"Nonononononono, I mustn't get ahead of myself. I have to prepare, or I'll get caught. And if I get caught, I won't be able to get rid of mana anymore."
He started walking away.
The mana continued irritating him.
Every single individual bit was attacking his brain. Like thousands of needles were piercing into it at every opportunity.
He scratched his scalp; his hands came back bloodied.
"Ahh... my brain trembles."
*********
As His Daughter
"Remember to always prioritize your safety. You might be stronger than most there, but do not let your guard down."
"Don't worry, I'll keep myself safe."
I smiled at him with conviction.
He caressed my cheek with care.
"Truly, sending you brings me great pain, but you are the one most fit for the job, and I can delay it no longer. You are already a teenager, after all."
I couldn't help but chuckle.
"You've started speaking way too formally, I almost don't recognize you."
He slowly shook his head.
"Masking your sadness with jokes ain't always the best choice, especially when you aren't the joking type in the first place, y'know? How about that? Still too formal?"
I held my breath in surprise. He laughed in response.
'Just as always, my dad can see through me completely.'
By all accounts I should've been used to it by now, but it caught me off guard despite the many years I spent with him.
After he finished laughing, his serious face came back.
He clasped my hands in his while looking me in the eyes.
"Find out how they live, how they act, how they carry themselves. I do not believe the death of so many is necessary."
When he retracted his hands, a small star ornament was left in my hands.
"It is time. Go."
I took a deep breath.
Carrying the lives of so many on my back, I straightened it.
'I will do it.'
It is the least I could do as his daughter. As the daughter of the person who sacrificed so much for peace.
I turned my back to him and started walking.
Towards a world I knew nothing about.
*********
The Madam
"Madam."
I kneeled.
"Speak."
I looked up at her.
"I wish to―"
"DId I allow you to gaze upon me?"
I hurriedly lowered my head back, now full of sweat.
"Please forgive me for my transgression."
"That'll depend on your future words."
I gulped. The pressure I felt right now could not be compared to any other event in my life. Even being at death's door had not elicited this reaction from me.
Still, this was my best bet at not becoming a slave, so I had to keep talking.
"I wish to integrate my men into the Filthy Foxes."
Despite not seeing it, I could feel her eyes on me. It was becoming harder and harder to breathe.
After what felt like an hour, she finally answered.
"Alright, I accept."
I cried with happiness inside, to the point that I wasn't sure whether my face remained emotionless.
"I thank you, Madam Meliossa."
I tried to stand up, but was unable to.
"Hm?"
Then I realized, my gaze was directed towards the ceiling. But how could that be possible when I was looking down just a second ago?
"Ah."
My eyes widened.
I could clearly see my body still kneeling. It no longer had a head.
"No one speaks of me in name."
That was the last thing I heard before everything went black.
*********
The One Stuck In The Past
I still remember you.
Despite the many years you've been gone, I still remember you.
Despite the ten thousand more picturesque sunsets I've seen by myself, I still remember the ones I saw with you.
Despite the thousands of better people I've met, I still remember your undetectable kindness.
Despite the hundreds of more beautiful people I've met, I still remember your blurry eyes.
Despite the dozens of smarter people I've met, I still remember how easily you wrapped anyone around your finger.
Even now.
Despite the person who reminds me of you most, you alone remain special in my heart.
And I can deny it no longer.
Despite you changing me, I've regressed all the way back.
Oh, how I wish you could run your mouth at me again...
*********
Not The Light
Not good enough.
Compared to what others think of me, compared to what is expected of me by history.
I am not good enough.
When being like this, I cannot complain.
Not strong enough.
How can I convey my feelings when everybody looks down on me?
Not confident enough.
How can I hold my head high, when there are numerous people better than me?
Not heroic enough.
How can I be happy when so many people are struggling?
Not kind enough.
How can I ignore it when I was the same at one point?
"You okay?"
I nodded and smiled.
"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"
Those kinds of thoughts... they were nothing new.
I could deal with them just fine by now.
So I am definitely okay.
My life as a whole is looking up. So many improbable events have happened for me to stand right here right now, beside so many great individuals that should be way above me.
How could I possibly not be okay?
*********
A Determined Father
"Being a hero... is just as cool as I expected it to be."
It could not be denied.
Just the sheer feeling I had when doing heroic things, like saving a country, it couldn't compare to anything.
―I thought as such.
And yet, despite me currently being in the middle of those heroic deeds, these small little hands overshadowed everything else.
It was like I was bathed in moonlight my whole life and was ecstatic about it, but only now have been shown the sun.
It was blinding, that smile of hers.
That stupid smile of hers that probably did not even mean anything, just looking at it was making me tear up.
"But man. Who thought being a father would be cooler?"
I certainly did not.
What a fool I was...
As these tiny little hands gripped my large finger, my whole body stopped.
I instinctively cast a Spell to block out the mind control.
It was not something I expected to do. It was something that just came naturally.
I realized right then and there.
"I am... no hero."
At the end of the day, I was too cowardly for it. In face of certain death for the sake of others, I would run even today.
I was good person, willing to do a lot, but not everything.
That time a whole hunting group went missing due to Kumorsh was proof.
I could not protect everyone.
"But, you, I will protect."
A new conviction was born in my heart. Stronger than any other.
"As your father."
Not for the sake of others.
But for her sake.
I will do all in my power to stop that disaster.
I closed my eyes.
Two boys appeared in my mind.
'I'll pass on the mantle of hero to you two. No, one of you won't accept it, will you, Faun? So I guess the other one will bear it alone.'
I'll just work in the background. Slowing down the progress as much as I can.
I'll leave the spotlight to the hero.
*********
Left Behind
I don't know how long I sat there on the grass, but long enough to the point that it became dark.
Only in the cover of night could I finally start moving.
The dark empty streets stopped me from seeing too far. Still, I remembered the path to my home.
I turned the handle ―locked.
I took the key from the pouch on my belt. All three of us had our own keys, in case we were ever separat―
"Hk!"
My shaky hands unlocked the door and opened it.
I stepped in.
Silence.
A silence that felt all too loud to my ears.
I barely stopped my legs from giving out.
I took a deep breath, then exhaled.
'Breathe... breathe...'
Yes, remember the trick your mom taught you. Remember how you helped Mitsuki with it once―
Sniff
I could not stop the tears.
I fell on my knees right there in the doorway.
"How... Just how... Why... This... This can't be real!"
I balled my hands into fists, scraping at the floor while doing so.
"This is... so unfair! It should've been me! IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME! WHY WAS IT THEM?!"
I used the wall as support and stood up.
I saw the table where we all used to sit together and eat.
I could see them, hear them again.
The way we all laughed.
"Shut up..."
I walk to the table.
"Unfair! Stupid! Stupid!"
I kick the chairs standing next to the table.
"Why?!"
One.
"Not?!"
By.
"Me?!"
One.
"Hrgh!"
I flip the whole table.
"Fucking stupid! Just fucking stupid...! None of this makes fucking sense―! So fucking stupid!..."
I looked at the opened door.
Despite the darkness, I see the silhouettes of Souma and Mitsuki beyond it, beckoning me to follow.
"Shut up!"
I close the door with a loud BANG.
"Just... shut up."
I slid down the closed door.
"I can't... I can't be with you. I can't follow you. So just... just shut up."
I was left all alone in that silence.
***
My eyes slowly opened.
"Huh... what?"
I was still there, sitting while leaning on the door.
I had fallen asleep without realizing it.
"Heh. Heheh. I couldn't even get to my bed."
I stood up. My mind was not refreshed and my body was aching all over.
'Hey, you okay?'
I started hitting my head repeatedly.
"This is not the time for that. Just forget him."
'Well, you don't look okay. Why wouldn't I talk to a girl who seems so sad?'
"Stupid, stupid, stupid. Don't think about it."
'No, that's not weird. I think it's funny. There's nothing wrong with being funny.'
BANG
The wall was left with a dent while my head was fashioned with a new wound.
'...'
"Oh? That got you to shut up?"
I laughed.
Quickly, tears followed.
"I was worried all the fucking time. I knew it, I knew it was dangerous. I was so worried all the time, I knew it wouldn't end good. Something like being an adventurer... but he wanted it, how could I deny him? And now look where that lead you. Look at it! HE'S DEAD! AND IT'S BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T SAY NO!"
I bashed my head again.
Blood leaked.
I wiped it away.
"This is just... such fucking bullshit."
My whole body grew weak.
With a vacant gaze, I looked at the door.
I opened it and walked outside.
Rain was pouring down. People were rushing home.
I ignored all of it and walked.
I stepped into puddles.
My clothes grew heavier.
I felt cold.
I felt so cold...
Eventually, I reached my destination.
A playground.
Looking at the swings, I showed no emotion.
'Let's be friends!'
...
'You can't catch me!'
"..."
'Oh, you made a friend? Awesome! Her name is Mitsuki? That's a cool name! Introduce me to her!'
...
'Man, no fair! You definitely peeked while counting!'
'I feel like Leila is too innocent to cheat.'
'You two are conspiring together, I know it! I wouldn't get caught so easily!'
"..."
I don't know for how long I sat there.
But eventually, I reached out to what I saw.
It passed right through my fingers.
I looked at my hand that had nothing but blood in it.
I looked up.
I reached out.
I stood up.
I reached out further.
I had to reach it. I couldn't let it get away. No matter what it takes, as long as I just feel it―!
'No.'
...
I... I don't want to.
"After all... I can't follow you. Not there."
I retracted my hand.
I clenched it.
"I... I have to keep going, right?"
Tears streamed down my face.
"Because... that's what you two would've wanted."
I smiled.
"It's just so unfair. Of you two."
I clenched my shirt. I could feel the unhealable scar on my heart.
"To leave me behind like this."
*********
The Strongest
I walked through the forest without much thought.
Every living being in this forest avoided me, so I didn't have to worry about that.
After some time I arrived at a wide river.
I cleared it with one easy jump.
"So I'm now in its territory, huh? I wonder whether it will run away from me too."
I picked my ear.
"I wonder. What should I use..."
I've used the sword way too much. A spear felt too boring. A shield would just force me to fight barehanded, and that would be a bit too much effort. A whip would be too easy.
"I guess flail's fine."
I put my hand into the pouch on my side.
Despite the pouch being pretty small, I was able to draw a whole flail from it.
At this point I did not question how it worked. Anything left behind by the Hero from 400 years ago was too far from the norm.
I spun around the flail a bit. I have somewhat forgotten its weight and length, so I had to relearn it.
While doing that, I couldn't help but notice the absolute silence over here.
"Not even insects? Guess it really has complete control over this area."
After some walking, I started feeling the vibrations from the earth below my feet.
It has noticed me.
Unlike my predictions, the vibrations were getting stronger.
"You're coming towards me? Really? Do you care for your life so little?"
I have never seen a monster as eager to die as this one.
...No, there were a couple. A specific kind, even.
Mothers. When protecting their young, they would always attack.
'Ah. Is that the reason for the increased activity?'
I couldn't help but be surprised.
It meant there was more work than I expected.
Soon enough, it was right in front of me.
The nine-meter twelve-legged spider.
Kumorsh.
It attacked without hesitation.
"So you were a she all this time?"
I dodged leisurely.
It got above me and started attacking with all twelve of its legs. Or should I say her legs now? Sure, let's do that. Why not.
"Thanks for blocking the blinding sunlight."
I spun around the flail and shattered one of her legs.
"Oh?"
No, I did not shatter it. The exoskeleton was shattered, but the insides were practically unharmed.
"I see why they had such problems now."
With such a hard exterior, even the Barbaric Angelica would have a problem. The Battle Sage Jagon should've been capable of breaking through it, but he was weakened at the time, so I see why they left and never fought it again.
"Hm. Maybe I should talk with them again."
I've only met them when they were up-and-coming adventurers, and only heard about their names because they are very well-known now.
Despite our age difference, I bet The Battle Sage would be interesting to talk to. With his nickname, he should have at least one fun little trick.
A leg pierced through my head― Not.
It was stopped dead in its tracks by my forehead.
"Right, I'm in the middle of a fight."
I wrapped the leg in the chain of the flail and started running. The leg was ripped off despite the heavy resistance.
Then, using the huge pointy leg that was still wrapped in chains, I stabbed one of the Kumorsh's joints. After all, the exoskeleton was thinner in parts that need to move.
"Man, I was supposed to use a flail. Not a makeshift scythe on a rope."
Well, whatever. I just couldn't help but fight in the most efficient way. This way of fighting has been ingrained in my bones after all.
To use everything in my surroundings to its absolute maximum.
That was the only way I could win back then after all.
"Ever since I got so strong, everything has just become boring."
There was no need to put effort no matter who or what I fought.
It felt empty.
Anyway, the leg pierced through the joint with ease. I pulled, and the joint was completely destroyed. The upper part of the leg was left untouched, but it was unusable and leaking blue blood now.
"This is getting boring. I'll just finish it."
I stepped away from the pool of blood that was starting to form.
I made sure to stand underneath Kumorsh.
Then, I let go of the leg and started spinning the flail vertically while dodging all of her legs.
I spun it faster and faster. It was getting to the point that a small windstorm started appearing.
At one point―
Chink
The part holding the ball to the chain broke, and the ball was sent upwards with all the velocity from the spin.
It tore straight through the middle of Kumorsh's body.
A huge fountain of blood erupted.
I ran away before she fell on top of me.
Her huge body crashed down onto the ground, lifeless.
Whiiiiiiiiiiiish
After a long time, the ball fell right into my hands from the sky.
"Okay, yeah, catching it was too much."
That took a bit more mana than I would've liked for it to.
I put the broken flail back into the pouch.
I looked at the dead body of Kumorsh.
I have slain the monster that has caused the deaths of thousands and pain for several generations.
"Hmm... Just as I thought, I don't feel anything."
I did a good deed, and yet I felt nothing.
I shook my head.
"I really messed up. I should start getting my emotions back. A lifeless killing machine is not what my wife would've wanted."
Who would've thought that blind pursuit of power makes you lose sight of your main goal in the first place?
"Funny how I'm realizing that only when I'm so old. Welp, better late than never, right?"
I laughed at my senile stupid self.