It was a cloudy day, with the damp smell of the previous night's rain still lingering in the streets. A metallic clang echoed in the background at high speed.
The landscape that could be seen from the train window was like any other; houses, shops, streets, cars, all typical of a large town, but still remaining a village.
The train was packed like a game of Tetris. It wasn't entirely normal for it to be so full, considering it hadn't even reached the city yet, but the time of day justified it.
Of all the people there, I ended up standing near one of the doors, a bit cramped, which made falling both easy and difficult. As usual, I was wearing my headphones, and their bulk was quite noticeable, occasionally touching the shoulder of a man next to me.
It was even harder to keep my balance carrying my school bag on one shoulder. I'd made sure I had everything I needed, but it would be disastrous to show up to class and find I was missing a book, or even my pencil case.
I tried not to worry about it anymore, partly because I had other things to worry about, many of them.
One of those worries made me take out my phone. I wasn't a big fan of doing it with the train so crowded, but my stress outweighed my fear of being robbed.
I opened the email app to see if what I wanted to see was there. This is something I should have done yesterday, which was Monday, but I didn't check after binge-watching an entire season of a shonen anime and going to sleep.
Please, please, please answer…
The first three emails were spam, but I quickly ignored them after seeing the fourth. It was from my tutor, a reply to the email I sent him yesterday.
It was something I had to do, not only to let him know I was joining the classes starting today, but also to ask him a favor. He replied saying he would ask someone in the class who he thought might be willing to do it.
Even though I now know my tutor was going to try, I didn't think I'd come out on top. I was depending on my classmates, and aside from Otsuki, the rest probably hated me, and I doubt they'd grant such a selfish request.
Even so, it would be best if they collaborated a little .
Otsuki told me at the time that the whole class was reprimanded for the video incident, and that they were all forced to delete it. I never thought they all actually deleted it, but it would be best to believe that possibility.
At first glance, the argument should have made everyone lose interest, and Otsuki hasn't told me anything that happened in relation to that, but I don't have enough faith in them to think they are saints.
Everything would be fine if I had already been in class for a couple of weeks, but I hadn't set foot in it during that same time.
Would they devour me like wolves when I walked in? Would the table be covered in graffiti as soon as I entered? How would they look at me? These were some of the many things I wondered about all Sunday.
The train stopped, and consequently, I got off. I only had to walk to get to the school.
The street leading to the school was almost empty, with no more than six students walking along it, and ahead of me. It was still early for class; there was about half an hour before it started, so everyone walking by was probably at a club, except me, of course.
I couldn't even last 2 months in a club.
… It would have been better if I had stayed with them .
The fact that my failure had been so serious made me desperate, and of course, when another golden opportunity presented itself before me, I had to take it.
I'm sure everyone at the club would have supported me, I would have felt like I belonged, if only I had become friends with them. Yes, I joined the club, but I never became one of them.
A friend would never do what they did to you.
Ugh, that doesn't matter now. If you're going to think about friends, think about her!
I stepped through the open gate to the school after taking off my headphones, and after waiting until all the kids at the entrance had changed their shoes, I decided to go in. Now that no one was around, it was the perfect time.
I went to my ticket seller, and-
" So, have you edited the video we gave you yesterday at the club?" asked the first girl who came in.
"Girl, how am I supposed to do it? We're only a week away from exams!" replied the second.
"We told you it had to be done by today!"
"I'll do it as soon as we finish, I swear."
"C-calm down a little. For now, let's take off as much as we can," murmured the third one, having entered a moment ago.
At least he was right about only people from one club coming at this hour. Although finding out this way didn't make me very happy.
The first girl could easily blend into her surroundings, the perfect role for a background character. She had long, straight, brown hair that reached halfway down her back, neither too light nor too dark, black eyes, and was of average height. The only thing that stood out about her was a small silver hair clip on the left side of her bangs, decorated with a flower pattern.
This somewhat dampened the mood of the second woman, who had straight, light blonde hair that reached her front teeth, styled in a book-like fashion. Her eyes were brown, defying the foreign stereotype of blonde hair and blue eyes, and she was also wearing a bit more makeup than usual.
Everything about her face seemed to be more heavily made up than usual, and her nails followed suit. She was almost as tall as the first one.
The third and final girl seemed dwarfed by the other two, both in height and demeanor. Her hair was short for a girl, barely reaching her shoulders, and quite voluminous.
Aside from the large lock of hair that projected in the middle of her face, a small lock of hair stood out at the top, protruding from her head in a curved shape, which gave the girl an even more absurd look.
Her dark, droopy eyes further emphasized her vulnerability.
As funny as the scene might have seemed, I wasn't at all amused to have run into a group of girls, even though they weren't even talking to me. It was more because two of them were in my class; the second and third year.
I only recognized them by their faces, and I didn't know if they were among the people who saw what I did. That would only make the situation worse.
Right after the third girl spoke, I put on my school shoes, quickly stowed mine in my locker, and left, my eyes on the ground. I didn't turn around once, afraid they were watching me.
I heard the third girl say one last thing.
"Ah, Masawa-chan, I-I have to tell you something."
It was a miracle I heard what that girl said, but after that, I walked down the hall without—
"Huh?!"
I ran down the hall before something happened to me.
On the way to my destination I didn't run into anyone, which I appreciated, but it didn't exempt me from having to face someone who made me feel especially embarrassed.
Knock knock
" Excuse me."
"Come in," I recognized the voice easily.
I opened the door to the staff room once I was given permission. Inside, apart from two other teachers, was my tutor.
"Hi teacher."
" Hello, Riku. I'm glad you're back."
"Yes, don't worry."
"There's no need to be so formal, man."
He was that tutor who didn't do much in the homeroom classes, but in his own class, which was language arts, he was much more focused on his work. The best thing about him is that he doesn't bother assigning much homework, and that, along with the free time he gives us, makes the whole class get along well with him.
Like the headmaster, he was a bit loose with the students. It's a shame not all teachers are so nice.
" First of all, I'm also proud that you were able to make peace with Otsuki so quickly. Many people couldn't even forgive themselves after something like that."
"Did she tell you everything?"
"Yes, in general. The director had already told me about it at the time, but hearing it from her is what convinced me. I don't need to repeat what the director told you, do I?"
He asked the question with a confident tone, as if he were speaking to a friend rather than a student. It wasn't because he was particularly lively, but rather because of the sincerity and openness with which he spoke. People like that reminded me of Haruka.
"… No."
I hesitated a bit before responding because I couldn't stand being there. I tried to avoid getting even more tense by avoiding looking at his face, or in his direction in general, though without seeming to ignore him.
He nodded after hearing what I said, and continued speaking, pausing briefly to choose exactly what to say. He got straight to the point.
" Well, I imagine you're here about the locations."
"Yes, I wanted to know if I'd managed to convince anyone or not."
What I had asked my tutor was very simple: to change my seat. If it were for reasons like my eyesight, it would be reasonable, but my situation was more unfortunate.
I didn't want to be sitting in front of &$%"!.
Just the thought of him, of all the people in the class, being the one who had to sit behind me filled me with disgust and discomfort. I wasn't even sure I'd be in the same class, so having him breathing down my neck would be absurd.
" Well, you were lucky with that. Nagatomo told me she didn't mind switching places with you. She was one of the first people in the class I asked, so I saved myself a lot of trouble."
She said it with a certain cheerfulness, as if implying that we were both lucky to have found someone so quickly. The news made the weight that had been tense all over my body ease from head to toe. At least, most of the tension did. Shortly after, came the surprise of learning that someone had agreed.
"Did you tell him it was with me?" I let my guard down and revealed some of that surprise.
" Of course, of course, otherwise how would I know where my new place is?"
Well, you've told me her name and I haven't the faintest idea where this Nagatomo sits!
I had no idea who she was in class. If she were someone from last year, I'm pretty sure I'd recognize her, but that wasn't the case. Either way, I had to try and save myself the humiliation of sitting where I shouldn't.
" And… could you tell me where Nagatomo sits? I can't figure it out right now."
"Mhm, of course."
Immediately afterward, my tutor pulled out a filing cabinet overflowing with papers and plastic sleeves. He immediately took out a printed copy of our class seating chart. He looked for Nagatomo with his finger.
"Here. It's in the second row, the third seat from the left. Come on, in the middle column."
Just the location alone was worse than my old spot, but considering the stakes, it was a blessing. It left me closer to the other two than I'd like, but I could tolerate it. It was bad enough that they'd changed my spot.
Having seen the place where I was supposed to sit, I no longer had any reason to be there. Before I left, my tutor tried to strike up a conversation with me outside of any agreement or formality.
" How are your exams going? There's only a week left."
"…"
I froze. Stunned.
Holy shit, I forgot!!
Every alarm in my mind was going off. To say I was screwed was an understatement. I was more like defeated, absolutely and completely dead.
" Y-yes, it's tough, but I'm doing alright."
"I'm glad, but don't push yourself beyond your limits. You're not…?"
"Not at all."
Part of my desperation spilled out from between my teeth, though I maintained my best possible calm expression, sweating profusely in the process. Part of the reason what I said rang true was because I hadn't done anything, except for the two days Otsuki was with me.
" Then good luck with them. At least I haven't made it difficult for you."
Ah, so he's already taken the exams…
I ignored what my tutor said, except to nod like a robot.
" I'll see you in class later."
"Likewise."
After saying goodbye, I left the teachers' lounge quickly, before any crisis could hit me. Having closed the door, I was completely free of his gaze.
Shit, shit, shit, fuck! I'm going to fail. I can't study for so many subjects at once in a week. I'm finished, finished!
I accepted the fact that I was beyond saving. I didn't even know if it was worth studying at this point. I could just prepare for the theory exams and that's it.
And now that I think about it, those girls had also mentioned something about the exam… Thank goodness I didn't find out at the time…
All the time I wasted at home wasting time was now coming back to haunt me in the worst possible way. Not even on Sunday or yesterday, when I was planning to go back to class, did I bother to study. With everything that was going on in my life, I completely forgot that I was a student too.
Downcast, I returned to class, giving off a sinister aura around me.