A year.
That's how long it had been.
A year of consistency. A year of grinding when nobody cared. A year of learning, failing, improving, repeating.
And now—
13,248 subscribers.
Ivan stared at the number on his screen.
Not smiling.
Not frowning.
Just… staring.
Plateau
The growth had stopped.
Not completely. It still moved, sometimes. A few subscribers here, a few there. A video would occasionally do "okay." Nothing terrible.
But nothing great either.
No spikes. No momentum.
Just… flat.
Routine
His life looked good on the outside.
School?
Better than ever. Clean grades. Teachers liked him. He knew exactly how much effort to give without drawing too much attention.
Home?
Stable. Quiet. His brother was doing well. Smiling more. That alone should've been enough.
Money?
Not crazy.
But enough.
A bit from YouTube. Small amounts. Pocket money, really.
Enough to prove it worked.
And yet…
Ivan felt nothing.
The Upload
That night, he uploaded another video.
Same process.
Same structure.
Same effort.
It wasn't bad.
But it wasn't special either.
And deep down—
He knew it.
The Slip
Halfway through the video, during a random moment, he said it.
He didn't plan it.
Didn't script it.
It just came out.
"I don't know… feels like I've been stuck for a while. Like no matter what I do, nothing really changes."
A small pause.
A quiet sigh.
Then he continued the video like nothing happened.
The Clip
He didn't think much of it.
Until the next day.
Notifications.
Too many.
At first, he thought—
"Did it finally blow up?"
His heart sped up.
His hands moved fast, opening YouTube.
But what he saw…
Didn't make sense.
Comments.
Hundreds.
But not the kind he expected.
"Ungrateful as hell 💀"
"Bro has 13k subs and is crying??"
"People would kill for that and you're complaining?"
"Entitled kid."
"Hope your channel dies."
Ivan froze.
Outside of His Control
He searched his channel name.
And then he saw it.
Clips.
Short edits of his sentence.
Posted on TikTok. Twitter. Instagram.
Out of context.
Cut perfectly to make it look worse.
"Feels like… nothing really changes."
Caption:
"Small YouTuber complains about 'slow growth' at 13k subs 💀"
Thousands of views.
People who didn't know him.
People who never watched his content.
Judging him.
The Flood
His phone wouldn't stop buzzing.
Every refresh made it worse.
More comments.
More hate.
More people joining in.
Even his old videos—
Flooded.
"You fell off anyway"
"Not even funny"
"Quit already"
"No one cares"
His chest tightened.
Pressure
Ivan put his phone down.
Picked it up again.
Put it down.
Picked it up again.
He tried to ignore it.
Tried to rationalize it.
"They don't know me."
"It'll pass."
"It's just the internet."
But it didn't stop.
And the worst part?
A small voice in his head whispered:
"What if they're right?"
Cracks
He stopped uploading.
One day.
Then two.
Then a week.
Every time he opened YouTube—
The comments were still there.
Still growing.
Still attacking.
The place that once gave him hope…
Now felt hostile.
Breaking Point
Late at night, sitting in front of his monitor, Ivan opened his channel.
He hovered over the videos.
Over the comments.
Over everything he had built for the past year.
13,248 subscribers.
Hundreds of hours.
Every late night.
Every improvement.
Every small win.
All of it…
Felt meaningless.
His cursor moved slowly.
Settings.
Advanced.
Delete Channel
A warning popped up.
This action is permanent.
Ivan stared at it.
His hand trembled slightly.
"This was supposed to be different…"
His voice was quiet.
Almost empty.
He clicked.
Silence
Gone.
No channel.
No videos.
No comments.
No numbers.
Nothing.
Ivan leaned back in his chair, staring at the ceiling.
The room felt… quieter than usual.
Too quiet.
Aftermath
The next morning felt wrong.
No notifications.
No uploads.
No routine.
Just…
Emptiness.
He sat on the edge of his bed, hands resting on his knees.
For the first time in a long time—
He didn't know what to do next.
A thought crept in.
Cold.
Heavy.
Unavoidable.
"I'm back at the beginning."
Closing
Ivan lowered his head.
His fists clenched slightly.
A year.
Gone.
And for a moment—
Just a moment—
He felt exactly like he did in his past life.
Lost.