Anakin gasped awake, jerking as he felt that strange energy coiling around him and screaming in a voice he swore sounded like Obi-Wan, only it couldn't possibly be Obi-Wan, because Obi-Wan would never sound so tortured and afraid. His mind had to be playing tricks on him; that's all there was to it.
The scream cut off, swallowed into the churning, boiling energy that was somehow blacker than the depths of space. Anakin shivered uncontrollably, clutching his blanket and Obi-Wan's robe for some comfort. It grew stronger, making him sick to his stomach as it wailed and yawed and pitched; he'd long since slammed his eyes shut, fearing that the room would somehow be spinning.
Part of him felt like he was trapped in an out-of-control 'racer, or even worse, a plummeting lift, which he knew was hurtling to its doom and he could do nothing to stop it. The clamoring grew louder, more painful, and Anakin shoved his pillow over his head, but it did no good. It was the energy that made him feel like he did, and since it wasn't physical, he could do nothing but fight the tears that sprang to his eyes and hope he lived to see another day.
Then it stopped.
Anakin shuddered, and once he drew up enough courage, he poked his head out from under the pillow, trying to figure out what had happened.
From what he could see, nothing in the common space was disturbed, and he sat up slowly, frowning. The dining chairs remained upright, the datapads were still on the shelves, and the couch he lay on hadn't moved a jot. Surely something must've caused that… that… well, whatever it was. So why had he felt like he was dying and yet everything around him seemed all right? He thought that energy connected everything.
Then Anakin saw him.
"Qui-Gon!" he cried, his heart stopping for a fraction of a second, and he threw off his covers, flying to the Jedi Master's side.
Qui-Gon lay on his side between the armchair and the couch, his body curled inward slightly. His eyes were shut and his face was molded into a rather peaceful expression. Anakin swallowed around the lump of fear that rose in his throat and shook the older man as hard as he could, trying to get him to wake.
…please please please…
He can't be dead! his mind shrieked. He can't be!
Anakin breathed a huge sigh of relief when Qui-Gon stirred, his deep blue eyes blinking up at the boy.
"…mm…Ani…ken?" he slurred, as though his tongue were too thick for his mouth, and he squinted when Anakin nodded eagerly.
"Yeah" Anakin said,smiling as Qiu-Gon rolled onto his back with a groan and began rubbing his eyes. "What happened?I felt really strange, like everything around me was going nuts."
"Hm," Qui-Gon murmured, propping himself up onto his elbows and shaking his head as he shut his eyes.
"Maybe you didn't feel it," Anakin said quickly while glancing around the rest of the room. "I mean, you were knocked out, so maybe it happened while you weren't…"
He trailed off when his gaze landed on a second, collapsed figure.
Obi-Wan.
Anakin's heart froze for the second time; his gut felt like someone had dropped it in a bucket of ice. Obi-Wan lay on his back in front of the windows, his knees bent to one side, an arm resting across his stomach limply, and his glassy eyes stared up at the ceiling.
No...
His chest wasn't moving.
...no...
His eyes weren't blinking.
...no no no no no no no no no!
Anakin backed away, horror rising up in him like some nasty, swirling sandstorm, his gaze locked on the lifeless body before him. This couldn't be, part of him railed; it just couldn't be! Obi-Wan wasn't really lying there, still as a statue. It was just Anakin's awful imagination messing with him and making him think that one of the Jedi that he'd grown so fond of over the past week was lying there…
…dead…
"No!" he heard Qui-Gon exclaim and the Jedi threw himself towards the other, one of his large hands clasping one of Obi-Wan's wrists as he searched for a pulse.
The swear Qui-Gon uttered then was enough to shock Anakin from his stupor, and he watched through steadily blurring eyes as the Jedi Master began to perform some kind of artificial breathing technique, one that Anakin had seen a neighbor do when a young girl had collapsed in a similar way.
"Padawan, don't you dare do this," Anakin heard the Jedi Master mutter as he pressed down on Obi-Wan's chest in steady intervals. "If you die now, over some stupid vision, I swear to the heavens above I will follow you all the way into the underworld of the Force and I will killyou!"
The door chime rang and before Qui-Gon could be interrupted, Anakin leapt to his feet.
"I'll get it!" he yelled, racing across the common area to slam his palm against the controls, and the door slid open to reveal two Jedi he'd never met but seemed awfully familiar.
"Young Skywalker," the shorter, green one croaked, and Anakin blinked as he recognized the Master from Obi-Wan's description. "Sensed a great disturbance, we did."
"Obi-Wan's dead," his mouth blurted before he could stop it, and watched the two Jedi start in surprise.
"What?!" the taller one actually shouted, and Anakin flinched before standing aside so they could race insic The taller one kicked his boots off before he stormed after a hobbling Master Yoda, who actually made excellent time, considering how old he was supposed be.
"Move you must, Qui-Gon," Anakin heard Master Yoda say, and he drew near the small gathering cautiously, fear holding him back.
"Master, I cannot! I'm not going to let him die!"
"Listen you did not!" Master Yoda said sharply, hitting Qui-Gon's upper arm with a pointed thwack! and the J Master reeled back in shock. "Save him, I will!"
Anakin drew even closer, standing beside the unknown Master and peering around Master Yoda, who placed one claw-like hand on Obi-Wan's still unmoving chest. Anakin held his breath as he felt that strange energy surge around the small Jedi, and then a powerful jolt shook Obi-Wan's body.
The padawan didn't respond at first, but when Master Yoda repeated the action, Obi-Wan gasped loudly, his back arching and his eyes fluttering. His hands twitched and he rolled towards them, coughing violently, and Anakin let out the breath he'd been holding, his shoulders slumping in relief.
"Thank the Force," he heard Qui-Gon sigh as he reached forward and began to rub Obi-Wan's back in steady, up and down motions. "I didn't know you could use the Force like that, Master Yoda."
"Eight-hundred and fifty odd years old, I am," Master Yoda replied as he leaned on his gimer stick, and Anakin stared in shock. "Learned much, I have, and glad, I am, that of some use it can be."
"What happened, Qui-Gon?" the unknown Master asked, frowning down at the pair. "We felt a disturbance like no other. The entire Temple was on its knees as the Force went completely out of control."
Qui-Gon froze a little at that, and he lifted his head to stare up at the other Master. "What do you mean, Mace?"
"Exactly what I said," Master Mace replied, raising an eyebrow or two; Anakin couldn't really tell from his vantage point.
"Came from Padawan Kenobi, that wave did," Master Yoda said quietly, his gaze still focused steadily on the gasping Jedi, and everyone stared at him. "Though know how he came to suffer so greatly, I do not."
"Could it be from those visions you said he saw? Could they have upset him that deeply?" Master Mace asked, turning his attention to Qui-Gon, whose gaze dropped to Obi-Wan. Anakin glanced down as well, taking a step forward, and he watched Obi-Wan lift his head slowly and freeze.
"Obi-Wan?" Anakin asked softly, reaching for that link of energy that bound them together, and tried to send his question there too.
He watched the Jedi start slightly in response, his blue-green eyes widening as they focused on Anakin.
Though there was a conversation going on around them, it stopped when Obi-Wan reached forward, his icy fingertips brushing away some strands of hair from Anakin's forehead.
"Are you… okay?" Anakin whispered, trying to open himself completely to the link, if that was at all possible, and he could feel Obi-Wan reaching along it, gently brushing up against him. He tried to send a hug, or whatever he felt like when someone hugged him, and watched Obi-Wan squeeze his eyes shut.
"No darkness…" the Jedi whispered, relaxing somehow, and Anakin watched the three Jedi Masters start in surprise.
Obi-Wan pushed himself up then, and held his arms open in an obvious invitation, his expression relaxing into a small smile. Swallowing around the sudden lump in his throat, Anakin threw himself into Obi-Wan's embrace, tucking himself against the Jedi and wrapping his small arms around him as best he could.
Stars, he'd been so scared…
"It's all right, Ani," Obi-Wan murmured as he rocked back and forth, his chin resting atop Anakin's head, who realized then he was crying. "It's all right. I know you were afraid, but everything's okay now. I'm fine."
"Qui-Gon, you were saying something about those visions?" he heard Master Mace say quietly, and Anakin peeked up to find Qui-Gon watching them with a strange, thoughtful expression. He felt the energy that linked Obi-Wan to Qui-Gon pulse back and forth, and watched as Qui-Gon leaned forward to draw both of them into an embrace. Anakin felt Obi-Wan stilling as his head rested on Qui-Gon's shoulder, and a sharp blast of fear burst through the boy, one that Obi-Wan quieted with a gentle hug.
"I'm not going anywhere, Ani, but I am going to rest," he said. "I'm tired."
"'Kay," Anakin whispered, hunkering down and leaning against the two Jedi. He pressed his ear to Obi-Wan's chest, just in case. A steady heartbeat met him, making him sigh in relief, and he then glanced up at Qui-Gon, who smiled down at them gently.
"I don't think they're visions at all," Qui-Gon said at last. "I think they're actual memories, of a future that could have been."
Anakin gasped, blinking up at the Jedi Master, and watched as both Master Mace and Master Yoda reeled backwards.
The tall Jedi plopped into the armchair, his expression stunned. "But… but how is something like that even possible? And what do you mean, 'could have been'?"
"I believe the Force sent Obi-Wan back in time thirteen years so that he could undo an awful future," Qui-Gon said, and Master Yoda appeared to consider him gravely. "When you mentioned that a light lingered in him, perhaps it meant this sudden acquisition of memories."
Memories? Anakin blinked a little and peeked up at Obi-Wan, who cracked open an eye when he felt someone looking at him.
"When I was meditating just now, I was somehow drawn into Obi-Wan's… well, I'm not sure what he was doing," Qui-Gon said, and the link pulsed between him and Obi-Wan, which made him quirk an eyebrow. "He says he was trying to work through his grief, because it was affecting his ability to focus properly. Somehow I got sucked in, but my presence made it spiral out of control."
"What did you see?" Master Mace asked, and Anakin heard Qui-Gon sigh a little, the link pulsing back and forth again.
"Obi-Wan's life," Qui-Gon said at last, his arms tightening around the two. "In what I saw, I'd been killed by the Sith I fought on Tatooine, and Obi-Wan killed him in response, which he was knighted for. He then took an apprentice, raised that apprentice, became a Master, fought in a war, and watched as the Sith took over the Senate and began exterminating the Jedi."
"You can't be serious," Master Mace whispered, but Master Yoda merely murmured a soft sound, tapping a finger against his gimer stick.
"Ring true, these words do," Master Yoda said, his gaze drifting from Obi-Wan to Anakin, and finally resting on Qui-Gon. "And explains, it does, your padawan's altered Force-presence. Unable to change something so central so drastically, mere visions are."
You mean… you're not a padawan? Anakin tried to ask Obi-Wan and watched him nod his head ever so slightly.
"But how is this even possible?" Master Mace was saying, but Anakin wasn't paying attention. He felt like he was missing something very important, with this revelation about Obi-Wan stirring something in the depths of his mind that he should've realized a long time ago.
"I'm that apprentice," he whispered, feeling his eyes go wide as the room went dead silent. "Those times you slipped up and called me 'padawan', it was because it was a habit that you couldn't easily break."
Obi-Wan had opened both eyes as Anakin pulled himself up so he could meet the Jedi face to face. He felt Obi-Wan tense in something he could only describe as fear, their link going as silent as the room, and he frowned lightly. Why hadn't Obi-Wan said anything earlier? Was it such a bad thing that it had to be hidden?
"Not bad, Ani," Obi-Wan whispered. "You were my padawan for twelve long years, and I didn't say anything because I didn't want that knowledge to affect the Council's decision. I also didn't want you to get your hopes up in case they decided not to train you. Or, if they did, I didn't want you to be upset if they didn't assign me as your Master."
"Oh," Anakin whispered, frowning as he tried to consider Obi-Wan's perspective. If he'd been given that kind of knowledge, how would he have responded?
Sense much darkness, I do," Master Yoda said, "in the future you lived. Trying to change it, were you? Trying to prevent it from occurring?"
Obi-Wan shut his eyes. "My mistakes were serious, Master Yoda. I saw hundreds of Jedi murdered by a Sith, who had once been their friend, my friend, and if I'd only paid more attention to him, I could've stopped it."
"What did you lose?" Anakin asked quietly.
"Everything," came the whisper.
"You watched me die," Anakin said softly, feeling the energy around him murmur the truth to his words. "That's why you're so sad. That's what you're hiding."
Obi-Wan opened his eyes, one of his hands coming up to smooth back Anakin's hair, a motion he leaned into slightly. "That's true," he replied gently. "From a certain point of view, I did watch you die."
Obi-Wan was still talking, but Anakin didn't hear. His eyes were a million klicks away, seeing things he'd never thought possible, and he could only wonder where they came from. He'd be able to tell if they came through his bond with Obi-Wan…
Anakin watched as Obi-Wan grew older, his warmth vanishing behind a sarcastic mask that hid his wounds, watched him fight, watched him fly, watched him recoil in horror as the galaxy around him dissolved from underneath his feet. He saw the battles Obi-Wan fought, both with a lightsaber and with the troops he commanded as a general, and he watched as those troops turned on him, nearly killing him as he fled. He felt Obi-Wan's pain as he walked through the battlefield the Temple had become, shutting his eyes against the death.
Mostly, though, he watched himself, because he was there, growing older with each passing second. He watched, horrified, as a darkness settled around him, making him cold and flippant. He could feel the disdain he held for the Jedi, he could feel the anger that grew in him, and he could feel the conflicting emotions that rose within his other self when it came to Obi-Wan. The Anakin he saw grew to love the man, but he trusted Obi-Wan with nothing close to his heart, and it poisoned everything.
He watched them fight across a catwalk, with Obi-Wan trying to reason with him, but his other self would have none of it, until… until…
"It was me," Anakin whispered, shutting his eyes as he came back to himself, and tears wet his cheeks. "I'm the one who… who…"
"No," came the fierce whisper. "Ani, you are not that person."
"But I could be!" he yelled, a vision of his adult self rising before him, his eyes yellowed and his face twisted into a contemptuous sneer. "I could be!"
"Ani…"
"And if you knew this, why didn't you just kill me when we first met?" he continued, his voice choking as he sobbed. "Then I couldn't become that horrible monster! I don't want to get so evil that I would kill innocent people! I don't want to kill those that I love! I don't want to hate you!"
"Exactly," came the reply, and he was drawn into a bone-crushing embrace, one he couldn't struggle against. "You can choose, Ani, so choose not to hate me."
He felt the link open fully, and he tentatively did the same, afraid of what he might find.
-Ani, what do you feel?- he heard someone ask, and he shut his eyes, letting the emotions that poured through the bond wash over him. Pain; that was the first one he felt, but it wasn't as horrible as he remembered it being, and then came exhaustion. There was a touch of exasperation, though mostly there was relief, that everyone finally knew what had been hidden, and underneath it all, was an emotion that wrapped itself around him, that was so utterly happy when he was near.
Love, he realized with a start, basking in its warmth. It was the kind of love he had for his mother, the deep and boundless kind that made him do incredible things, like beat up kids twice his size when they'd insulted her. It was the kind of love he could feel Obi-Wan had for Qui-Gon, which gave him the strength to strike down an opponent with more power and skill, and made him push himself to his limits.
And Obi-Wan had the same kind for him.
It overwhelmed him, leaving him speechless, and it made him want to cry, though he wanted to laugh at the same time. He'd felt so strange ever since leaving Tatooine, part of him always afraid of being a burden, and it was such a relief to know that he would never be a problem. He was loved, he was accepted for who he was, and no matter what he did, it would always be there, to cherish and protect him.
-You see, Ani? I could never kill you. Never.-
He nodded, part of him hoping he wasn't bawling. He clung to someone, Obi-Wan he realized, with all his might, and the link closed enough to bring him back to the apartment. His gaze fell on the two Jedi Masters watching them closely, one with the distinct expression of fear, the other with a cool, scrutinizing look.
A pang of fear echoed through him then. –They aren't going to train me, are they,- he thought along the link, and felt Obi-Wan hug him more tightly, sending soft, soothing whispers to him.
-If they decide not to, you don't have to worry, Ani. I'd never let you get sent away, to live with people you don't know,- came the reply, one that made him blink in surprise. –I'd leave with you, and we'd go somewhere with lots of water, and we'd work to get enough money to free your mother.-
He pulled away enough to stare up at Obi-Wan, and found him wearing a serious expression. –You really mean it?-
-I really do,- Obi-Wan replied, smiling faintly, and Anakin snuggled back into his embrace, a huge part of him sighing again in relief. No matter what happened to him, he'd be taken care of. As disappointing as it would be to be turned down by the Council, living somewhere with Obi-Wan would make up for it, and if they could free his mom, well, that would be wonderful.
-Qui-Gon wants to know what we've been talking about, Ani,- he heard Obi-Wan ask as he relaxed against someone. –Do you mind if I tell him?-
He shook his head, feeling the two Jedi converse as a heated conversation rose up around him. As far as he could tell, Master Mace wanted to tell the Council about what they'd discovered, but Master Yoda would have none of it, citing the panic it would unleash. He was saying something about how they couldn't let Obi-Wan's memories of a future that probably wouldn't even take place now affect their final decision about Anakin, who yawned as quietly as possible.
-Qui-Gon said he'll join us if the Council decides not to train you,- came the thought, and he swore heard the two of them laughing with each other about something, but he'd pressed his ear against Obi-Wan's chest and the steady heartbeat was quickly lulling him back to sleep.
-Get some rest, Ani, - came a voice that sounded a lot like Qui-Gon. –You certainly need it.-
He wasted not another second, falling into a deep, peaceful sleep.