"Boss... are we heading straight to the New World?"
Enel, shackled hand and foot with seastone cuffs, lay sprawled on the deck, panting heavily as he struggled to speak.
Sweat beaded down his now even more muscular frame.
"We're going back to Skypiea first. It's still early—we'll drop off this trash processor before anything else."
Doflamingo curled his lips into an exaggerated grin as he watched the forced feeding scene between the Wapol brothers.
In the original timeline, Wapol's Wapometal was developed after he was exiled from Drum Island.
While drifting at sea, he ate everything he came across, eventually creating the material while making toys.
No one really knew exactly what Wapol ate to create it…
But that didn't matter. Just make him eat every bit of garbage they've collected and something was bound to work.
Helping others avoid detours in life and reach their destination in one step—that was Doflamingo's favorite kind of good deed.
As for whether Wapol might die from it?
The Munch-Munch Fruit could even digest his own body. What harm would a little trash or virus do?
And if he really died, they could just toss one of Judge's clones in there to continue the development.
"...Not heading to Whole Cake Island first?"
Enel stared at the sweat dripping onto the deck.
In those droplets, he almost saw Katakuri's face.
Ever since he'd been beaten down by Bullet, he'd been running around non-stop.
It had been a long time since he'd last crossed fists with his old rival.
"A spectacle like this needs to ferment a little, otherwise it won't be grand enough."
Doflamingo looked westward, eyes glinting as he spoke softly.
He and Big Mom had long been tied together through mutual interests.
That sort of thing was common in the underworld.
Just like how, even though he and the World Government were technically enemies, they still maintained a flow of mutual benefits.
But this engagement party, in the eyes of the public, would be seen as an open and official alliance between him and Big Mom.
That was bound to hit a nerve with the Navy and the World Government.
And that wouldn't exactly be helpful for what he was planning next.
He'd need something else to distract them.
"Ferment, huh?"
Enel tilted his head.
He had the feeling Boss was cooking up something shady again.
Wapol, who was in the middle of dry heaving, choked the moment he heard that.
His beady eyes turned toward a pile of garbage reeking with a suspicious stench in the corner.
He trembled, muttering in horror:
"This stuff... is supposed to ferment? There are weird little mushrooms growing on it... And they all look like Mushiru."
Seeing Wapol's dazed expression, Mushiru instantly knew that the hypnotic spores he'd just fed him were working.
Time to move to the next step.
Ignoring Wapol's breath that reeked like death, Mushiru leaned close and chanted softly:
"You are a garbage processor... you are a toy-making machine..." *N
Doflamingo, glancing at the ship full of walking disasters, snapped Enel out of his confused daze.
"If you don't get it, don't think about it. Focus on training that fragile body of yours."
He didn't have much brainpower to begin with—might as well use it for fighting.
If only Tesoro were here, he'd definitely understand what Doflamingo was planning.
Too bad.
"I am strong now, Boss! If I fought that creepy Vice Admiral from Loguetown again, I'd totally win this time!"
Enel declared with confidence, puffing out his chest.
There weren't many people on the seas who could beat him!
"Oh? You think you're improving while others stand still?"
Doflamingo raised an eyebrow, watching Enel start to get all riled up again.
"Then why don't you go beat Bullet for me? If you can't, I'll have him train with you personally."
Why did Enel only remember the beatings?
Was it something about lightning users that made them like this?
"..."
Enel's excited expression instantly collapsed.
"Can I fight someone else instead? Like Moria... or Pica?"
"No. It's either Bullet, Vergo, or me. Pick one!"
Enel: "..."
Damn it. Just had to be the three he couldn't beat.
...
Enies Lobby.
"What the hell? Why are these two brats the new recruits?!
And one of them even brought a bird?! This is CP9—the elite of the intelligence world—not some beast-taming playground!"
Spandam waved his finger back and forth between Lucci and Kuro, his displeased tone mixed with a hint of fear.
Was the World Government really that dissatisfied with him?
Were they so fed up that the reinforcements they sent were these... unqualified brats?
Kuro adjusted his glasses and calmly sized up the ridiculous man in front of him.
In his mind, he began compiling his superior's evaluation:
"Overly sensitive, lacking the discretion expected of an intelligence officer. Physique shows no signs of serious training. Even though he wears gloves, it's clear his hands are uncalloused. The sword at his waist is more decorative than practical. Hmm... trash."
Next to him, Lucci and his pigeon Hattori stared at Spandam with eerily synchronized looks of disdain.
"Ahem... Spandam-sama!"
A surviving CP9 member—one who'd barely escaped Crocodile's wrath—spoke up to explain, but winced and coughed from his wounds.
"These two are elite trainees under Instructor Fury. I've already confirmed—they've both mastered Rokushiki. They're more than qualified to serve the World Government!"
"Is that so?"
Spandam reluctantly regained some composure, though suspicion still clouded his eyes as they shifted between the two.
"Yes!" the CP9 member nodded emphatically.
Screaming in his head: Just take the newbies already—I need to get away from this idiot!
Suddenly, Spandam's eyes lit up.
If he assigned them an impossible mission and they failed, he could get rid of them and request new replacements!
"You're dismissed!"
Spandam leapt back to his desk, rummaged underneath, and pulled out a wanted poster.
He thrust it in front of Kuro and Lucci, trying to look intimidating as he jabbed at the bald man on the paper.
"Look carefully! This is your next target. Krili, bounty 15 million. He stole classified intelligence from Queen of Spring's city, Saint Poplar. Now he's loitering around this sea, robbing passing sea trains. Retrieve the intel or kill him!"
Unfortunately for him, this posturing just made him look even more idiotic in the eyes of Kuro and Lucci.
The two responded in unison:
"Understood. Should we depart now?" *2
"You'll be on the 2 PM sea train. Be ready!"
"Got it," Kuro and Lucci said, turning to head for the port.
"If you fail, don't bother coming back!"
Spandam shouted after them triumphantly.
There was no intel.
These two little punks only had one option—kill Krili, whose bounty was 15 million.
That way, these eyesores would die, and he could request newer, better underlings.
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Fanfic is finished 527 chapters in total on p@treon/tambeerg