"A rookie fresh out of the academy?" Tsunade's voice carried her usual impatience as she crouched beside the unconscious wasp-contract ninja. The medic-nin finished stabilizing the man's injuries, but the question hung in the air like a heavy mist.
"Alright," Tsunade said at last, brushing the dust from her hands. "He'll live. But the man responsible—this so-called thief—how exactly is a mere thief handling trained shinobi like toys?"
The medic-nin swallowed. "H-He isn't some common thief… Hokage-sama. According to the reports, he fights like a seasoned jōnin. He—he caught our kunoichi from the front and knocked her out instantly."
Tsunade's brow twitched. "Caught her. From the front?"
The medic nodded miserably.
A moment later, Tsunade had pinched the bridge of her nose, the beginnings of a headache forming. "Just great… So we're dealing with an opponent who thinks he's clever and actually has the skills to back it up."
"Did he injure any civilians?" Orochimaru asked quietly, standing a few steps behind her, hands tucked inside his sleeves.
"No, Lord Orochimaru," the medic replied quickly. "The civilians inside the compound are unharmed. In fact… according to the reports… they're praising the thief."
Tsunade blinked. "Praising him? Are you telling me he's a thief with fans now?"
"It appears," Orochimaru added with a small, cold smile, "that he's been entertaining the children inside, playing with them as if he were some traveling performer."
Tsunade's hand curled into a fist. "This just keeps getting better. What kind of weirdo plays with kids after overpowering elite shinobi?"
The medic hesitated, then finally muttered, "Well… apparently he's actually very good with children. Even the clan head's daughter said he was fun."
Tsunade stared at him for a long moment, then raised a hand.
Orochimaru stepped aside.
Smack!
Tsunade's fist met the medic-nin's head with enough force to bury him into the dirt, leaving only his legs sticking out like an upside-down radish.
"That's for talking nonsense. You should've started with the important part."
Orochimaru chuckled softly. "Tsunade, you're as violent as ever."
"And you still talk like a cryptic snake," she shot back.
But her face turned serious again as she looked toward the compound ahead.
A man who could knock out trained shinobi without killing them…
A man who entertained children in the middle of a crime scene…
Someone confident enough to stand still while being surrounded by Leaf ninja…
Nothing about this "thief" felt normal.
Tsunade cracked her knuckles. "Alright, I'm tired of hearing reports. Let's just go question him directly."
---
Inside the Compound
The compound had been locked down, ANBU stationed on the rooftops, jōnin surrounding the courtyard, and several chunin waiting with sealing tags in hand. Despite the tense atmosphere, one thing stood out:
Children were giggling.
Tsunade froze as soon as she stepped inside.
There, in the center of the courtyard, a tall black-haired man sat cross-legged on the ground, leaning lazily against a pillar. He held a small girl around eight years old on his lap. Three more children clung to him, each giggling as the man conjured a small glowing ball of chakra between his fingers like a magic trick.
"Look! Look! It's a dancing light!" the girl squealed.
"I wanna try!"
"Me too! Me too!"
The man sighed dramatically. "One at a time. Even magical geniuses need rest, you know?"
When his gaze drifted upward and he saw Tsunade and Orochimaru approaching, his smile widened as if receiving esteemed guests at a banquet.
"Oh? You two look important," he said comfortingly, gently lifting the children off his lap. "Kids, why don't you wait over there? I need to talk to these adults."
The children obeyed immediately, eyes shining with excitement.
"Big brother, don't get in trouble!" one shouted.
"Yeah! Don't let them bully you!"
The thief winked at them. "I won't."
Tsunade felt a vein bulging in her forehead.
This guy…
This guy was truly dangerous.
Not because he was powerful—no, that was manageable.
But because he was likable.
And that made him ten times more annoying.
---
The Confrontation
Tsunade marched up to him, fists clenched. "Alright, you little brat. Who are you, and why are you causing trouble in the Hidden Leaf?"
The man blinked innocently. "Causing trouble? Me? No, no—this is all one big misunderstanding."
Orochimaru stepped closer, eyes narrowing. "You assaulted our shinobi. Hardly a misunderstanding."
"Ah… well… they attacked me first," the man replied casually. "I was just minding my own business when they came at me shouting about trespassing. I tried to tell them I meant no harm. But they wouldn't listen."
"So you knocked them out?" Tsunade asked flatly.
"Only a little!"
"A LITTLE?"
The thief held up his hands defensively. "Look, I didn't kill anyone, did I? If anything, that should earn me some goodwill."
"Goodwill my foot!" Tsunade snapped. "You're trespassing in a restricted compound, knocking out Leaf shinobi, and babysitting children like you're running a daycare!"
"That last part was voluntary," he said proudly. "They're adorable."
Orochimaru exchanged a glance with Tsunade, a silent agreement passing between them.
This man was a handful.
But before they could speak, the thief tilted his head, smiling faintly.
"You two… aren't normal shinobi, are you?"
Tsunade raised a brow. "What gave it away? The forehead protector?"
"No," he said. "Your chakra. It's heavy. Dense. You're strong."
Tsunade snorted. "You've got good instincts, I'll give you that."
"Thank you," he said. "I try."
She stepped forward, ready to grab him by the collar—
But in a smooth, impossible motion, the man shifted backward a step.
Just one step.
But it was enough to slip out of her range without it looking like an escape.
Her eyes narrowed.
He was fast.
Not overwhelmingly fast, but fast enough to react to her movements without fear.
---
The Attempted Capture
Two ANBU dropped in behind the man instantly, kunai drawn.
"Unidentified intruder," one announced coldly, "you are under arrest. Do not resist or you will be forcefully subdued."
The thief raised a brow. "Arrest? Look, I said this is a misunderstanding—"
"Enough," the other ANBU snapped, lunging forward.
The courtyard erupted into motion.
The thief stepped aside, caught the ANBU's wrist, twisted lightly, and sent the masked ninja tumbling across the ground. It wasn't violent—just efficient. He moved like someone accustomed to controlling his strength.
Tsunade watched his footwork, his posture, the way he never overreached.
Calm. Balanced.
Almost annoyingly graceful.
"A taijutsu specialist?" Orochimaru murmured.
"Seems so," Tsunade replied.
The second ANBU rushed in. The thief ducked under the blade, tapped the ANBU on the shoulder with two fingers, and the ninja collapsed as if his limbs forgot how to function.
The courtyard fell completely silent.
The children clapped enthusiastically.
"That was awesome!!"
"Big brother is so cool!"
Tsunade could not decide if she wanted to punch him or the children.
"You're making this worse for yourself," she warned.
The thief smiled apologetically. "I'm really not trying to. They attacked me—again! How is that my fault?"
Orochimaru stepped forward at last. "Then explain yourself properly."
The thief sighed. "Alright, alright. My name is—well, never mind that. I came here because I sensed a strange chakra in the area. I followed it, ended up inside this compound, and before I could even speak, everyone tried to apprehend me."
Tsunade rolled her eyes. "You expect us to believe that?"
But Orochimaru was staring.
"What kind of chakra did you sense?"
The thief pointed casually.
"From that girl."
Everyone turned.
Standing at the doorway, the clan head's daughter—Lady Hinako—watched quietly, still holding the small glowing chakra ball he had given her.
Orochimaru's eyes sharpened. "Interesting."
Tsunade frowned. "Great. And now we're getting pulled into some new mess."
The thief raised his hands wearily. "Look, I'm not here to fight. I only reacted in self-defense. If you give me a chance, I'll explain everything."
Tsunade studied him closely.
A skilled taijutsu user.
Calm under pressure.
Dangerous but not malicious.
Easily makes kids adore him.
And annoyingly handsome, but she refused to admit that part.
Finally, she sighed. "Fine. But one wrong move and I'll break your legs."
The man grinned. "Fair enough."
---
But Then—The Children Intervene
Before anyone could move, the children ran up to Tsunade.
"Hokage-sama! He's not a bad guy!"
"He played with us!"
"He made magic!"
Tsunade rubbed her temples. "Kids… please… I beg you… stop defending the criminal."
"He's not a criminal!"
"He's our big brother now!"
Tsunade groaned.
This was officially the most irritating mission of her week.
Orochimaru smiled faintly, clearly amused by her suffering