Chapter Five: The Feeling of Flow
"So that's how it is, huh?"
Shad looked up at the night sky, his thoughts impossible to read.
"Argh... well, if that's how it is, then I guess I'll have to play along."
With that, he looked down at the bear-like creature.
It was still staring at him.
There was something almost like excitement in its eyes.
"Hmm."
Shad tilted his head.
"So, tell me. What are you so excited about?"
The creature simply continued staring at him.
Shad sighed.
"Well, it doesn't really matter."
He paused.
"My chances of surviving have probably risen to about ten percent now."
He couldn't explain why.
He simply had a feeling that his chances of survival had increased.
Perhaps it had something to do with the strange sensation he had discovered.
Whatever it was, it seemed to be giving him a strange boost in confidence.
Not enough to make him careless.
Just enough to make him believe that survival might actually be possible.
Shad exhaled softly.
Then he decided to consult his inner selves.
After all, he had long considered himself to have a mental disorder, particularly one involving his different personalities and identities.
His consciousness shifted.
And within his mental space, three figures appeared.
The first sat upon a simple, dark wooden throne suspended in an endless darkness.
He wore plain dark-blue kingly clothing.
There was no crown.
No extravagant decoration.
Nothing particularly regal about him.
Yet he considered himself a king.
The Lonely King.
The second figure sat cross-legged within an empty white space.
Unlike the first, he had no throne and wore no kingly garments.
His clothes were simple dark-purple martial attire, almost black.
His eyes remained closed as though he were perpetually meditating.
He was the Observer.
The third stood somewhere between the white and black voids.
He wore plain grey trousers, leaving his scarred upper body exposed.
Various scars covered his body like strange tattoos.
His short hair was grey rather than black.
One hand rested beneath his chin as he contemplated something deeply.
He was the Contemplator.
All three looked almost exactly like Shad.
They shared his height of roughly five feet nine inches, his light-brown skin, and his slim, well-defined athletic physique.
The only obvious difference was the Contemplator's grey hair.
They were not truly separate people.
At least, not in the conventional sense.
They existed within Shad's mental space.
They were different aspects of himself.
Yet at the same time, each felt strangely real.
It was a peculiar situation even Shad himself couldn't fully explain.
"Oh, you will indeed survive if you want to."
The Lonely King spoke calmly.
"Yeah."
The Observer opened his eyes slightly.
"If you truly want to survive, then surely you will."
The Contemplator remained silent for a moment before finally speaking.
"By my calculations, your chances of survival should now be around fifty percent."
Shad raised an eyebrow.
"Fifty percent?"
"Yes."
The Contemplator rubbed his chin.
"Thanks to the new feeling."
He paused.
"And assuming you can enter the zone."
Shad looked toward the Lonely King.
"Is that so?"
"Of course."
The Lonely King leaned back against his throne.
"Or do you doubt me?"
"No."
Shad shook his head.
"Not really. I just want to be sure."
He paused.
"But putting that aside, how am I supposed to make sense of this new feeling?"
His expression became serious.
"It feels alive."
Silence followed.
Which was hardly surprising.
After all, Shad was essentially talking to himself.
The Lonely King finally broke the silence.
"I think you should sit down and meditate on it more deeply."
He looked toward Shad.
"If you do, perhaps you'll find a proper answer."
The Observer smiled faintly.
"So you're still refusing to accept the possibilities of what's happening?"
Shad frowned.
"Or perhaps you simply don't want to accept the possibility that you aren't on Earth anymore."
He shrugged.
"But it doesn't really matter."
His expression became calm.
"Like he said, reflect on it more deeply. You might find an intriguing answer."
The Contemplator said nothing.
He simply continued pondering something that had apparently captured his attention.
Shad stared at the three of them.
"This really sucks."
He sighed.
"I'm literally talking to myself."
Still, he decided to follow their advice.
His consciousness returned to his body.
Shad settled down.
He calmed his mind and steadied his breathing.
Then he began reflecting on the new sensation.
Unlike the strange feeling he had experienced earlier, this one felt much closer to him.
Almost as though it belonged to him.
He couldn't explain why.
But that wasn't his immediate concern.
His real problem was still waiting beneath the tree.
The bear-like creature.
Shad needed a way to escape.
So he concentrated.
This time, he wasn't meditating simply to understand the sensation.
He had a purpose.
Survival.
As he focused more deeply, his understanding gradually began to expand.
Earlier, he had already inferred that the sensation contained something resembling spiritual energy—a form of energy that seemed capable of manifesting within the material world.
It also seemed to clear his mind.
And somehow, it strengthened him.
But there was still something holding him back.
His own skepticism.
Is it really like that?
Shad couldn't help but wonder.
Have I actually left Earth and somehow ended up in an unknown world?
Or is this some kind of elaborate scheme by the organization?
There was no way for him to know yet.
Well, I'll have to survive first.
Then I'll know which one it is.
With that thought, Shad continued reflecting.
The deeper he went, the closer he seemed to get to the sensation.
It was almost like approaching a boundary.
The closer he came, the more doubts began to surface.
Am I really still on Earth?
The possibility that he wasn't became increasingly difficult to dismiss.
And then something changed.
The sensation seemed to respond to his awareness.
Shad instinctively understood how to interact with it.
He didn't know how he knew.
He simply did.
It was almost as though the sensation itself were teaching him how to perceive it.
Shad began directing it toward his mind.
Then toward his heart.
He wasn't physically moving anything.
There was no visible energy.
No strange light.
No outward change.
He was simply learning to recognize it.
His mind began to recognize the sensation.
His heart began to accept it.
And gradually, the rest of his body seemed to become aware of it as well.
He could now sense it without needing to enter the deepest state of meditation.
That alone was a breakthrough.
But why had it been possible?
Shad considered the possibilities.
First, his entire being seemed to accept the sensation almost instinctively.
It felt as though it had always been a part of him.
Something that had been lost...
And had now been found.
Second, Shad's body and mind had undergone years of intense training.
His work with the Shadow Department had exposed him to exercises and conditioning far beyond what an ordinary human body should normally endure.
His mental training had been equally severe.
He had studied the human body, its limitations, its reactions to stress, and the ways in which it could adapt.
But there was something else.
His adaptability.
Shad had always possessed an unusually high rate of adaptation to stress, unfamiliar environments, people, and situations.
He didn't know why.
It simply came naturally to him.
Mentally.
Physically.
Emotionally.
His ability to adapt was unusually high.
Perhaps all of those factors had contributed to what was happening now.
Whatever the reason, Shad had managed to push deeper.
Into what he could only consider the second layer.
And with that came another realization.
The sensation needed a name.
He could no longer simply call it the strange feeling.
He had moved beyond that.
He could now perceive it as something more than a sensation.
He could feel it moving.
Flowing.
Like an essence of energy surrounding him.
So Shad gave it a name.
The Feeling of Flow.
It wasn't a perfect name. It probably wasn't even accurate. But it was enough.
Within this Feeling , he began to separate what he sensed into two different forms.
The first felt like the Flow of Energy.
The second was something deeper, spiritual. He just called the Flow of Spirituality.
Shad carefully considered the distinction.
I see.
The Flow of Spirituality seems to be connected to that strange sensation I experienced earlier.
And the Flow of Energy seems to be connected to this newer sensation.
He still couldn't fully understand the Flow of Spirituality.
He suspected it was somehow connected to his inner self.
Perhaps even some kind of inner world.
But he didn't have enough information yet.
I can't understand something I don't know enough about.
So there's no point wasting time on it.
His attention shifted.
I'll focus on the Flow of Energy first.
Shad slowly opened his eyes.
His gaze seemed sharper than before.
Not dramatically.
Nothing outwardly had changed.
But Shad himself could feel the difference.
He looked down.
The bear-like creature was still beneath the tree.
Except now it appeared more restless.
More eager.
Shad watched it silently for a moment.
Then a sly grin appeared on his face.
He leaned forward slightly.
"Oh."
His voice was calm.
"So you've become even hungrier."
He glanced at the creature.
"Just wait a little longer."