Naruto was as warmhearted as ever.
When he saw Kakuzu and Hidan asking for directions, he brightened up and answered with a grin. "Oh, I know where that is! I'll take you there myself."
So Naruto bounced down the street, leading the two strangers toward Shimura Danzo's compound.
"You two... are you from another village?"
Kakuzu gave him a long look and tugged up his forehead protector, showing the scratched-out symbol of Amegakure. "We're from the Rain Village. Got hired to track down Shimura Danzo."
Naruto didn't find anything weird about it. He happily kept chatting as he walked.
Danzo's estate was an old clan property in Konoha, all shaded courtyards and high walls with moss creeping up the stones.
Ancient trees spread their canopies right up to the tiled roof. Even the guards at the front looked stiff and uncomfortable, like the gloom of the place seeped into their bones.
Kakuzu eyed the pair of gate guards. "Bet Danzo won't come out easy."
Hidan just grinned, brandishing a coil of rope from his sleeve. "Debtors always pay up if you get creative."
Naruto tilted his head. "Eh? Ossan, what do you need a rope for? Climbing over?"
Hidan smirked. "Nah. I'm gonna hang myself right at his door."
Naruto gawked. "...Huh?!"
The two gate guards froze too, staring wide-eyed. "What did he just say?!"
Hidan walked right up to the courtyard gate like he owned the place. With a flick of his wrist, he tossed the rope over a low branch, tied a neat knot, and slipped the noose around his neck.
The guards lurched forward, panicked. "Hey, stop that!"
But Kakuzu stepped in front of them, his eyes glinting with a predator's calm. "Go tell Shimura Danzo he needs to pay up. Or this corpse is going to decorate his gate for a long, long time."
Then Hidan jumped. His neck cracked with a sharp snap.
The guards blanched and ran screaming into the compound. Even Naruto had to take a step back, his jaw dropping. "What the hell... oi, what are you doing?!"
Kakuzu didn't even look at the hanging body. "In our line of work, even dying for money is worth it. That's our nindo."
Naruto might not have understood that twisted love of ryo over life. But there was something earnest in how Kakuzu said it, that stuck with him.
At least they had their way of the ninja, strange as it was.
Hidan's eyes suddenly popped open. "Oi, kid, scram. Don't crowd us."
Naruto flinched. "You're not even dead! I was worried for nothing!" He stomped off, annoyed.
Kakuzu gave Hidan a bored look. "Dead men shouldn't talk."
Hidan stuck out his tongue and went limp again.
Inside, Danzo was furious when his men reported what happened. "Sand ninjas actually sent someone to hang themselves at my front door over a debt?! That's disgraceful!"
His advisor suggested, "My lord, should we have Root deal with them?"
Danzo almost barked an order. But then he thought about it. This was the Sand Village. They only sent two guys.
Quiet. Discreet.
No big force smashing down gates. That was... polite, in a twisted way.
If he pushed back, next time it might be a whole squad of shinobi with puppets, tanks, and chakra cannons.
Danzo ground his teeth. "No. Invite them in."
So Kakuzu and Hidan were shown into Danzo's shadowy audience hall. Kakuzu stood calmly.
Hidan lolled in a chair, still tied up like a corpse with his head lolling at an unnatural angle.
Danzo sneered. "You'd go this far over a debt?"
Kakuzu crossed his arms. "Life means little when you live for profit."
Danzo almost shivered. These were truly monstrous collectors. Sand Village knew exactly who to send.
"I already notified the Sand Bank I needed more time. I will pay."
Kakuzu tilted his head. "Then we'll wait by your door. So no crows or stray dogs get the corpse."
Danzo nearly exploded. "What kind of intimidation is that?"
"Just insurance." Kakuzu gave a little shrug.
Danzo slammed his cane on the floor. "Fine. I'll pay this installment immediately. Get that corpse off my gate."
Kakuzu snapped his fingers. Hidan untangled himself from the rope with an exaggerated groan and a grin. "That hurt like hell, old man. Better be worth it."
Danzo later trudged to Tsunade's office, swallowing his pride. "I'm relinquishing Root's independent control. Please, Hokage, help me settle this debt."
Tsunade leaned back, smirking. "I'll pay one installment. But funds are tight. That means you cooperate fully until it's cleared. Might take... oh, thirty years."
Danzo nearly collapsed. Thirty years chained to her budget.
"Also," Tsunade added sweetly, "I'll be assigning Yamato and Kakashi to oversee Root operations. Transparency, you know."
Danzo went pale.
Root's hidden stockpiles would all be laid bare.
Tsunade finally decided to step in and provide the funds, which let Shimura Danzo crawl out of his latest disaster.
Once Sunagakure Bank received his repayment, they sent word to Kakuzu and Hidan so they could collect their bounty.
Kakuzu calmly took the money, while Hidan's corpse just popped up off the ground with a loud crack, his twisted neck snapping back into place.
The two Konoha guards nearby were stunned. "So you weren't actually dead?"
Hidan rolled his eyes. "As if I'd die from that."
With that, the two bounty hunters swaggered off.
It turned out debt collection jobs for Sunagakure Bank were perfect for them: good pay, low effort, and right up their alley.
Before long, the pair were so fond of these gigs they rushed to grab every contract Sand Ninja offered, earning glowing reviews for their fearless, relentless work.
Back in Konoha, despite all his flaws, Shimura Danzo was still driven by a fierce will to protect the village.
Unfortunately, his arrogance made him believe only his way could save Konoha, even if it meant breaking taboos.
When Tsunade saw Kakashi and Yamato reviewing some of Danzo's old projects, her blood pressure spiked.
"What the hell! This... this is Hashirama's cell experiments!" Tsunade slammed her fist onto the desk, cracking it clean through.
She was fuming, nearly ready to hunt Danzo down herself. But as she read on, she realized some of these notes had real potential.
Used wisely, they could advance Konoha's tech and bio-research dramatically.
Taking a breath, Tsunade calmed down. "Kakashi, Yamato. Some of these projects can be salvaged. The village will fund them, but you two will oversee every step. Understood?"
"Yes, Lady Tsunade," the two replied. Both of them had history with Root, so they knew exactly how to keep things in check.
Meanwhile, after narrowly avoiding bankruptcy, Danzo had a revelation: money ruled all.
Ninjutsu, Root—none of it mattered without cash. Desperate to keep his ancestral home and land, he dove headfirst into making money.
One quick look at the gold exchange told him what he needed to know. Capturing tailed beasts was worth billions. "Perfect. From now on, Shimura Danzo is a tailed beast hunter."
So off he went, dragging his loyal men with him.
Little did the Akatsuki know that their tailed beast hunt now had new rivals, equally desperate and capitalist-driven.
Elsewhere, Mufasa had been flying the sky fortress back home. For convenience, he parked it right on the desert outskirts of the village.
No permits, no land fees—one perk of ruling a hidden village in the sand.
Sasori, Kankuro, and other mechanics practically lived inside the fortress, studying its tech day and night. Mufasa could only hope they'd soon figure out how to make it more efficient.
After handing off the fortress, Mufasa dropped Shinnō off with Kabuto.
"This old man might be a twig now, but his knowledge of cells and the body is solid. I'll let you handle him."
Kabuto pushed up his glasses, eyeing Shinnō's skeletal frame. "Looks like his experiments on himself were very effective. I'll take good care of him."
Then Mufasa returned to his office, where Orochimaru was waiting, still wearing that mischievous grin.
"Congratulations on acquiring the Ancor Vantian," Orochimaru said.
"The Ancor Vantian are just a bonus. The real prize is the Land of Water' island we took," Mufasa said. "That place is loaded with oil and gas. Problem is, it's crawling with pirates, rogue Sky Ninja, and rival nations sniffing around. I need someone cunning to oversee it."
Orochimaru tilted his head. "Me?"
"Yes. No one else has your blend of brains and sheer intimidation. You built Hidden Sound from nothing, discovered talents, ran multiple labs, and kept a network of freaks in line. You're perfect for this."
Orochimaru smirked but shook his head. "I'm not interested in running countries. I just want my experiments."
Mufasa leaned forward. "And the Land of Water has more kekkei genkai than anywhere. I'll let you build labs there, experiment all you want, full authorization."
Orochimaru's golden eyes sparkled. "You know how to tempt me. Fine. I'll go, but find me a replacement soon."
"Deal. You'll have full authority to sign treaties with the Mist, too."
With that settled, Mufasa finally tried to take a breather—only for a mountain of paperwork to crash down on his desk. "Ugh. I need to travel more."
He rubbed his temples, brainstorming excuses. That's when he remembered: Yagura, the Mist's Mizukage, was rumored to have been taken by Obito.
That meant Akatsuki had tailed beast chakra ripe for the taking.
Mufasa grinned and called in Gaara, Sasuke, and a few trusted elites.
"It's been too quiet with Amegakure lately. Maybe they think they can delay paying what they owe us."
Gaara's expression hardened. "If they try, we'll crush them."
Mufasa chuckled. "If we crush them, who pays the debt? Nah. I also have intel that Amegakure's got fresh funds. We're heading there to collect. Hold down the fort while I'm gone."
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Word count: 1638
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