Medical center.
"Maybe I should just shoot my shot with them," Joey suddenly blurted out, smacking his forehead like he'd cracked the code to the universe.
Adam clapped his hands. "Hell yeah, man! Go full sister-wives! Instant big happy family, kids already included!"
"Right? That's what I'm saying!" Joey was practically glowing. "Any one of them says yes and I'm golden."
"Let's go, I'll walk you over right now," Adam said, barely holding in laughter.
"Bet."
The girls just stared. "You two are actually serious?"
"Dead serious!" Joey threw his arms wide like he was accepting an Oscar. "Give me one good reason I shouldn't!"
Crickets.
Adam just smirked.
"See? No reason!" Joey crowed, radiating proud-dad energy so hard you could see sparkles.
He'd never felt more enlightened in his life.
Outside the ward.
Joey peeked through the glass, took one look inside, and the dad-glow vanished instantly. His face collapsed.
"Nope. Never mind. I'm out."
He spun on his heel to bolt.
Adam blocked him. "Where you running to?"
"They're the real soulmates, man. I'd just be the third wheel," Joey muttered with a bitter laugh.
"Dude, those are your baby mamas."
Adam, deadpan: "What, they're not good enough for you now?"
"…"
Joey had no comeback.
Bro code says you don't call that stuff out loud!
Are we even friends anymore??
Adam finally let him off the hook with a pat on the shoulder and a grin.
Beauty is a hell of a drug. Love doesn't care about your master plans.
Christina and the others had gone to crash. Adam didn't leave the hospital until 9 p.m., then hopped in the car and headed to New Jersey.
Peggy's apartment.
He pushed the door open and was shocked; Peggy wasn't hunched over her usual mountain of equations. She was on the phone, looking annoyed.
"…Here, talk to Adam yourself."
She shoved the phone at him without ceremony.
"Who is it?"
"Missy," Peggy said, already face-planting back into her calculations.
"Hey, Missy," Adam said into the receiver.
Dead silence on the other end.
"Missy?"
If he couldn't hear faint breathing, he'd have thought she hung up.
A few seconds later, a very weird tone: "It's super late. Why are you at Peggy's?"
"Problem?" Adam asked, smiling.
"I knew it! I always knew you were after Peggy! And now you finally got her!" Missy fumed.
She used to have the best time with Peggy back in the day; those were some of her happiest memories.
A girl just as genius-level smart as Sheldon, who actually wanted to hang out with her? It healed every burn Sheldon ever gave her.
To Missy, Peggy wasn't just a friend; she was the sister she never had, and she secretly shipped her hard with Sheldon. Two socially hopeless nerds keeping each other company? Perfect.
Then Peggy went off the rails for a while because of family stuff, and Missy actually liked that version even more; wild Peggy took her on adventures, sneaked her into stores, made her feel alive.
Then Adam showed up, gave Peggy one of his big "you're better than this" speeches, and turned her into Sheldon 2.0 overnight.
Goodbye fun Peggy.
But deep down Missy still adored her and wanted Peggy + Sheldon endgame.
And now the same guy had wrecked that dream too!
"Come on, don't make it sound so shady," Adam protested. "It just kinda… happened. I didn't plan this."
Truth. He never saw this coming.
Sure, he always thought Peggy was gorgeous, but he legitimately figured she'd spend her life tormenting Amy as Sheldon's one true nemesis.
Never expected her to turn those claws on him.
And yeah… he didn't exactly fight back.
Grown-up Peggy went from cute to straight-up knockout. Anyone except Sheldon would've folded.
Not his fault.
"Pfft!" Missy spat. "Little George always said you were a player and told me to stay far away from you. Looks like he was right!"
Little George had been super grateful when Adam invested in his Dr. Tire shops.
But every time Missy was around, big bro went full protective mode: "Adam's bad news, stay away, he'll break your heart," etc.
He even ran interference so Missy never had to deal with Adam directly, like he was scared the big bad wolf would gobble up his baby sister.
Missy used to roll her eyes. Now she was like, damn, George called it.
"That's just slander," Adam laughed. "He's still salty I dated Veronica for a while."
"WHAT?!" Missy shrieked. "You absolute jerk! I always thought Peggy was gonna be my future sister-in-law, and now you've not only hooked up with Veronica, you stole Peggy too! What's next?!"
Adam coughed. "You're overthinking it… Give Sheldon another ten years, he still won't notice girls exist. And you really think George is gonna stay loyal to Veronica forever? This isn't on me."
Okay, now he was sweating a little.
Let's review the Cooper family scoreboard:
- Oldest brother George: Adam had a wild fling with his wife back in the day.
- Middle brother Sheldon: currently "dating" the girl Missy picked out to be his wife.
- Little sister Missy: …still single, thank God.
If the universe decided to pull one more "oops, guess we hooked up" with Missy, he'd officially have bingo and owe the Coopers a fruit basket the size of Texas.
Plus all the insane brain upgrades he'd siphoned off Sheldon over the years; photographic memory, universe-simulating noggin, the works.
Yeah… he'd kinda been farming that family pretty hard.
"So hey," Adam said, smoothly changing the subject, "how's Sheldon doing lately?"
P.S. Ding! Who ordered the Sheldon?