"Hmm"
"..."
"Hmmmm"
"What's wrong, Kai? Why do you keep making those noises?" Aura closed her book and looked over at him.
"My dick hurts."
"...Who the hell starts a conversation with that in front of a girl?" Aura's face turned slightly red as she glared at him.
"Sorry, it's just… they bandaged that area of mine a lot. Why though? I mean, I have regeneration abilities, don't I?" Kai pondered seriously, leaving Aura completely speechless.
*This guy seriously feels zero shame about the stuff coming out of his mouth?*
"I suggest you… be a bit more delicate… about your personal issues — especially when you're in a hospital room where people can hear you," Aura replied in the most reasonable tone she could manage.
Kai looked around after hearing that.
Everyone was staring at him.
"…Baron, why is everyone looking?"
"What- why are you asking me??"
Aura rubbed her temples. She hadn't expected Kai's face to be this thick-skinned.
"Um, Kai… if you don't know, maybe you could… let me take a look? I might be able to tell you the reason… you know?" Kanna, who was nearby, pressed her two index fingers together shyly, face red.
"Kanna…"
Kai gave her a gentle smile.
"You're still so innocent. You wouldn't understand these things yet. Go play with Reito instead, okay?"
…He's treating her like a little kid?
Kanna instantly fell into depression.
Then Kai turned to Abaric.
"Oi."
"What?"
"…Wanna measure and see if your dick is as long as mine?"
"…"
Aura let out a long sigh. She just wanted to go to sleep already.
Why does Kai act like this? Let me tell you what happened earlier…
A few hours ago…
"Ugh…"
Baron opened his eyes and saw a familiar ceiling—
Okay fine, whether the ceiling is familiar or not, why do people keep saying that line?
"Oh! Baron's awake!"
"Huh? Oh, it's you." Baron pulled off the oxygen mask and saw Kai lying in the bed next to him.
And Alice was staring at him.
"…What?"
"What did you do to end up this injured?"
Hearing her voice, Baron somehow felt uneasy and glanced at Kai for help.
"Mama! I want apple pie!"
Kai was playing dumb, acting like a little kid in front of Alice.
'Motherfuc-! We're bros, why aren't you backing me up?!'
"Baron?"
"Uh… well… there was this monster with a 20 cm dick that was especially targeting Kai's ass, so I stepped in and fought it for 36 rounds."
"DUDE." Kai's eyes widened as he stared at Baron.
"…I feel like I've heard this exact story before… from Kai's mouth. You two really are good friends, huh?"
"DUDE." This time Baron glared at Kai.
"What are you looking at?? Who told you to make up the exact same bullshit story I did??" Kai shot back.
"Ughh…" Reito's voice came from the side as he slowly sat up and looked around.
"…Um, that's your dungeon teammate, right?" Alice asked Kai.
"Yeah, he's a pretty close friend. One year younger than me."
Reito looked at Kai, then glanced at Alice.
"…Ah! It's the girl who got gangbanged by bad guys that I read about in that book! Kai, get away from her!"
…
"…Kai? What does he mean by that?"
"…" Kai looked desperately at Baron for help. Baron very elegantly turned away and sipped tea.
'Motherfuc-! What kind of brother abandons me like this??'
"Well… you know? He's a bit… Retarded! I MEAN Mentally challenged! This kid's got some developmental issues, he says random crazy stuff sometimes — don't blame him, okay!"
"???" Reito looked extremely confused at Kai.
"R-really? That's so sad… Ihopeyourenotlyingtome."
"Ahaha!" Kai's smile was so fake it hurt to look at.
Aura watched them talk, then calmly sipped her tea.
At that moment Kanna woke up. Her whole body was in pain, but she still forced herself to sit up.
She looked around and saw Kai and Alice close together.
'Uh… GASP! Could that be… Kai's g-g-girlfriend?!'
Girl, you literally just woke up.
'No way! She's the class vice-rep of Class F — the class Kai's in! So their relationship must be super close!'
'Kuuuu!! I'm so jealous! Why am I stuck in Class B?! There are perverts staring at me all the time and it creeps me out. If I transferred to Class F, Kai would protect me!'
Then she looked at Alice with pitiful eyes.
'They look so comfortable together, talking so intimately… unlike me — always vomiting and useless!'
Then she paused… and stared hard at Alice.
'…It's decided! If she's Kai's girlfriend, then don't blame me for being evil! I'm stealing Kai from her! Full NTR route!!'
"Ehehehehehehe!"
Kai, Baron, Reito, Aura, and Alice all watched Kanna laughing in a creepy, scheming, pitch-black-aura way.
I don't even know what to say anymore. Maybe I should praise her for being in enough pain to still come up with these insane delusions.
Abaric and Vakoth had woken up a while ago. Though both looked like Egyptian mummies, they were still trying to move.
Only Irelia and Violet were still unconscious.
"By the way, who saved us?" Kai asked Alice.
"It was the People's Safety Protection Association."
"…"
"…The group Rocker works for."
"Oh! Rocker! Haven't heard that name in a while! Where are they?"
"They'll be here soon. I think they're talking with—"
BAM!!
The door flew straight into Kai in the most illogical way possible. For some reason, Alice wasn't hit.
"HOLA AMIGOS! HELLO EVERYONE!" Rocker burst in wearing a very cool uniform.
"Hello! Sensei has arrived!" Tyler appeared right behind Rocker, smiling brighter than the sun.
"…" Everyone looked at the two of them, then at Kai — who was now embedded in the wall.
"…What happened?" Rocker sensed something was wrong.
He wasn't super close with most of the people here, but he knew Baron, Alice, and especially Kai — shouldn't those three at least greet him or something?
Then he looked at Kai and panicked.
"HOLY SHIT!!"
Rocker rushed over and yanked hard.
After successfully pulling him free, Kai's head was bleeding and he passed out, making Rocker freak out even more.
"CPR! How could I forget?!"
So Rocker pursed his lips, preparing to give unconscious Kai mouth-to-mouth.
"Oi oi oi! Don't kiss my student!!" Tyler dragged Rocker back and pushed him away.
Then Tyler brushed his hair back, his impossibly handsome face gazing down at unconscious Kai.
"A teacher's love is as vast as the ocean. Let me save you the same way you once saved me."
"Is everyone awake yet? I have an announcement to make… to every… one…?" The mustached doctor walked in, saw the scene he absolutely should not have seen.
Tyler turned to look at the doctor — while casually unbuttoning Kai's shirt one by one.
Everyone else also stared at Tyler, not knowing what to say.
"…Teacher Tyler, I have no opinion about your sexual preferences, but… he's only 15. Calm down. Prison's already full."
"I'm not doing anything to my student, I'm not even play Blue Archive."
After laying Kai back on the bed, the doctor saw he was still bleeding and took out a medical kit.
"I was going to tell everyone, but since someone's in critical condition, I'll explain later. These are acupuncture needles — the kind Ching Chonese people use for healing or whatever."
"Then please save my student, Doctor!! He's in critical condition!!!" Tyler grabbed the doctor's arm dramatically.
"Hey! Don't touch me or I'll stab these needles straight into Kai's brain right now!"
"Huh? Why didn't you say that earlier?" Rocker scratched his head, looking at both of them.
"…" The doctor and Tyler looked at Rocker, then at Kai.
Kai's head was now covered in needles, every single one stabbed directly into his brain area. His tongue was sticking out, eyes rolled back.
"…Oh my god." Aura covered her face, unable to believe what she just witnessed.