...
{3rd Pov}
"Subaru-kun… what is wrong?" A familiar and gentle voice reached Subaru's ears, and when he turned, he saw Rem standing there.
In the past, without a single second of hesitation, he would have rushed into her arms and held her tightly, cherishing her presence as if nothing else mattered in the world.
But this time was different.
This time, after everything that had happened, after living through seventeen long years without her by his side, Subaru froze.
He couldn't bring himself to move, couldn't even process her presence properly.
His mind was struggling, trying and failing to understand where he was, and what had just occurred.
Deep down, he already knew the answer.
Somewhere inside his heart, he had already pieced together the truth.
Yet his mind fought desperately against it, refusing to acknowledge the reality before him.
He looked down at his hands with trembling eyes.
They were no longer the rough, scarred, and aged hands he had gotten used to over the decades.
No, they were smooth, young, and unfamiliar compared to the ones that had carried the weight of countless struggles.
Shaking, Subaru reached up and pinched his own cheek.
The skin was firm, youthful, and tender in a way that confirmed the horrifying suspicion clawing at the back of his mind.
Panic set in as he darted his gaze all around him, from the familiar streets to Rem's concerned face, and finally back to his own body.
His chest tightened, his breath came faster, and at last, Subaru fully realized the truth he didn't want to face.
He had returned by death.
That cursed ability—the very thing he had longed to forget, the power he thought he had finally left behind—had dragged him back once more.
And in that instant, his entire world collapsed.
Subaru broke down completely.
His lips twisted into a mad grin, his eyes flooded with tears, and his voice cracked as he let out a hollow, broken laugh. "Hahahahahaha…"
The tears rolled endlessly down his cheeks.
He knew exactly what this meant, because he understood how Return by Death worked.
It always rewound the world, rewound time itself, tearing away everything that had come after.
Which meant…
It was as if he had never married Rem, the woman he had sworn to spend his life with.
As if Rigel and Spica, the children who had brought joy into his heart, had never been born.
As if Halibel and the countless other friends he had made, fought beside, and laughed with, had never even existed in his life.
As if the grandchildren who had climbed onto his lap, giggling with happiness, had never called him their grandfather.
As if Zarestia, the woman who had once stolen his heart later in life, had never loved him, and as if he had never returned that love.
Fifty years of living. Fifty years of effort, blood, and sacrifice. Fifty years of building a home, a family, and an entire life that had finally brought him peace.
Every single moment of laughter, every single bond, every precious memory… all of it had been torn away in an instant.
All of it had been reduced to nothing, as if it had never existed in the first place.
"Hahahaha…" Subaru's laugh grew more and more unstable, caught somewhere between raw despair and bitter amusement.
He laughed and sobbed at the same time, his body shaking as he realized the enormity of what he had lost.
His deranged behavior stunned the people walking along the cobblestone road.
Passersby stopped and stared at him in confusion and unease, whispering to each other as the scene unfolded.
The vendor at the familiar Appa stall, Kadomon, broke out into a nervous sweat.
He could only watch anxiously as Subaru laughed like a madman in public, losing control of himself completely, without any apparent reason anyone else could understand.
And Rem?
She was completely taken aback.
Confusion flashed across her face first, followed by horror at the sight of Subaru breaking down in public, and then, layered beneath it all, a genuine sense of worry.
Her instincts immediately pushed her to act.
She rushed forward, grabbed hold of Subaru's shoulder with both hands, and shook him slightly, her voice trembling as she called out, "Subaru, what's wrong?! What happened to you?!" Her eyes searched his, desperate for some sort of explanation.
But Subaru didn't respond in any way that made sense.
He just kept crying and laughing in that unsettling, broken manner, his body trembling, his emotions spiraling out of control.
Only when Rem moved closer, cupping his face with both hands and shaking him harder, did his gaze finally snap into focus and recognize who was standing in front of him.
Yet even then, the recognition did not bring him comfort.
Because the Rem in front of him was not the Rem he had known for nearly half a century.
She was not the Rem who had stood at his side as his wife, not the Rem he had shared his bed with, not the Rem who had carried his children, not the Rem who had grown older with him as the decades passed.
This wasn't the Rem who had been his partner until her very last breath, the one who had died while holding him close.
No, this Rem, even though she was the same person in body and in soul, was still different.
She was the Rem of this loop, untouched by the future they had built together.
She had none of those memories—the countless experiences, the joys, the sorrows, the children they raised—none of it existed for her.
And that realization shattered Subaru's heart all over again.
"Everyone is gone…" Subaru muttered, his voice weak, trembling with despair.
Then, with his chest tightening, he screamed louder, tears flooding down his face as he wailed, "My son Rigel! My daughter Spica! My wife Tia! Halibel! And… most importantly…" His tear-stained eyes locked onto Rem, who was clutching him tightly, and with a choked sob he cried out, "My Rem is gone! She's gone!!!"
The grief overwhelmed him completely.
His crying grew louder, his body shook violently, and his strength gave out.
He collapsed onto the cobblestone street, unconscious, leaving Rem and the bystanders in complete shock.
…
Later, at the residence where he had been carried, a serious discussion took place.
"So, did you find out what is wrong with him?" asked Crusch Karsten, her sharp eyes focused on her knight and healer, Felix Argyle—famously known as 'Blue' because of his remarkable skill with healing magic.
Felix placed a hand on his hip, his usual playful demeanor subdued by the gravity of the situation. "Nyaah… this is a complicated case," he admitted truthfully.
"I checked thoroughly—he's got no curse, no poison, and I couldn't find any magical anomalies inside his body either. From a purely physical standpoint, he's completely healthy. But…" Felix's ears twitched as his expression turned serious.
"From the way he acted, from the way his emotions just exploded like that, this is clearly trauma. His reaction is very similar to what I've seen from soldiers who survived the battlefield and carry deep mental scars."
The words made Rem's heart sink.
She had hoped, even if only a little, that perhaps there was some kind of curse or magical affliction involved.
Something tangible, something Felix could heal with his abilities. But hearing the word "trauma" crushed that hope, because trauma was not something that magic could erase with a spell.
Crusch, who had been listening intently, folded her arms and then spoke with measured calm. "Miss Rem, may I know what might have triggered this… trauma of his? I've studied cases like this before. As the leader of many men, I've made sure to learn what I can about mental conditions such as trauma, so I can understand and care for my soldiers. If I can identify what set him off, it might help us find a way to manage this situation."
Rem looked at her with wide eyes, gratitude swelling in her chest.
It was supposed to be nothing more than a transaction between them.
Crusch had no real obligation beyond lending Subaru the assistance of her knight and healer, Blue.
And yet here she was, going out of her way to offer personal help and insight, reflecting her strength of character and sense of responsibility.
"This… um… I'm not completely sure," Rem admitted softly.
She thought back carefully, replaying everything in her mind, and then continued with a heavy sigh.
"We were just out on the street, running some errands and buying groceries. When we arrived near a fruit stand—he was selling Appas—Subaru suddenly broke down. Out of nowhere, he started crying uncontrollably and laughing at the same time. I didn't understand what triggered it, and then he collapsed."
Her voice trailed off as her expression grew darker, clearly worried for Subaru's state.
Felix clicked his tongue, his tail swishing lazily as he spoke with his usual casual tone.
"~Nyaah, honestly, he really is such a troublesome person. First he made a huge scene back at the Royal Castle, running his mouth and embarrassing himself in front of the candidates, and then he got his ass handed to him by Julius in front of everyone. And now this—suddenly collapsing and acting all 'traumatized.' Crusch-sama, I'll be honest, this man is clearly unstable."
Rem's hands curled into tight fists at her sides, her nails pressing against her palms.
However, she forced herself to remain silent, her face carefully blank, betraying no emotion.
She knew very well her position.
She was but a maid, nothing more.
Even her master, Lord Roswaal, did not stand on equal footing with the woman before her.
Lady Crusch Karsten was now a Dragon Priestess and a Royal Candidate, and Felix was not only her knight but also one of her most trusted retainers.
His social standing far exceeded Rem's own.
This was a medieval world where the hierarchy of nobles and knights was absolute.
Status was law, and disobedience was punishable by severe consequences.
To openly oppose or argue with Felix—especially in front of his mistress—would be unthinkable.
On top of that, Subaru's treatment and care were being paid for by Emilia's camp.
The fact that Crusch had even extended her support was already a favor they could not afford to jeopardize.
Rem knew if she caused conflict now, if she let her emotions push her into a confrontation, it could easily ruin everything.
So she endured it. She swallowed down the anger boiling in her chest, the insult directed at Subaru cutting deep into her heart.
Without saying a word, she silently endured Felix's dismissive words, though her clenched fists betrayed her struggle.
"Hm…" Crusch narrowed her eyes slightly, ignoring Felix's casual jab and instead focusing on the matter at hand. "Felix, can you tell me how he is behaving right now? His condition—what exactly is he doing?"
Felix's ears flicked, and he nodded. "Meowh… he's really out of it. Very confused. Keeps muttering and calling out names over and over. Rigel, Spica, Tia, and, of course, Rem—he says them repeatedly, almost like he's clinging to them. I even think I heard him call out the name Halibel once or twice as well."
The moment Felix said that, both Rem and Crusch reacted.
"I… I'm right here. Why is he calling for me like that? And earlier, he even said I wasn't his Rem."
Rem's voice shook slightly, a pained expression settling over her face as she recalled Subaru's desperate cries.
Crusch tilted her head thoughtfully, her sharp gaze calculating. "Halibel… that is not an ordinary name. It's a significant one. Even within Lugunica, it holds weight. Miss Rem, do you know if this Subaru of yours has ties to Kararagi, perhaps? That might explain things."
Rem shook her head slightly, looking uncertain. "Actually… I know very little about Subaru's past. All I can say with certainty is that about a month ago, he appeared in Lugunica's capital for the very first time. That was the day he met Lady Emilia. Beyond that, his background is blank to me."
She paused, trying to put her thoughts into words.
"But if I had to describe him… Subaru is peculiar. He behaves in ways unlike anyone else I have ever seen. His mannerisms, his phrasing, his attitude—they all feel foreign. At times, I even noticed little habits and quirks that reminded me of Kararagi merchants, though I cannot say for sure. I don't know enough about Kararagi's culture to judge him accurately."
Crusch nodded slowly, considering the explanation. "Hmm… I see. Anything else? Details, no matter how small, could be useful."
Rem thought carefully before answering. "Well, when Subaru first began working as a servant in Roswaal's manor, I immediately noticed how well-groomed he was. It struck me that his hands and posture showed almost no signs of manual labor. It felt as if he had never truly done hard work before. That suggested to me that he might have belonged to the family of a wealthy merchant, or perhaps even had roots in nobility. At beginning aside from a few things, he managed to do decently, he was clumsy and careless in most other tasks. It gave the impression that he had no real experience in that kind of lifestyle before coming to us."
Her words only added more mystery to Subaru's situation.
Crusch and Felix exchanged a look, both of them more confused than before.
Felix crossed his arms and let out a low, annoyed sigh.
"Nyaah… this whole thing stinks. Are meowyh sure he isn't a spy? Think about it, Rem. The circumstances surrounding him are just way too suspicious. Showing up out of nowhere in the capital, clinging to Lady Emilia immediately, making scenes in public, and now this whole mess? Everything about him screams that something isn't normal."
"Indeed… what was Lord Roswaal thinking when he hired someone like him?" Even Crusch, who was normally composed and careful with her words, couldn't help but voice her thoughts aloud. From her perspective, it made little sense.
Why would a man like Roswaal L. Mathers—someone renowned for his cunning and intellect—take in a servant who possessed almost no practical skills? It was baffling.
Rem remained silent, keeping her expression neutral.
She couldn't reveal the truth, not here, not to them.
The circumstances behind Subaru becoming Roswaal's servant were far too dangerous to be made public.
If it ever came out that Lady Emilia had once lost her insignia—that the very symbol of her candidacy for the throne had been stolen—it would hand the other royal candidates an easy excuse to slander her.
They could question her competence, her ability to rule, even her right to remain in the Royal Selection itself.
If that information spread, Emilia's claim to the throne could be revoked entirely.
No. She couldn't allow that. She had to protect Emilia, and she had to protect Subaru.
"Please don't concern yourselves with the idea of Subaru being a spy," Rem finally said, bowing politely with her hands clasped in front of her.
Her voice was calm, respectful, but firm. "Lord Roswaal himself has already confirmed his intentions. He would not have been permitted to remain by Lady Emilia's side otherwise."
She didn't want them to insult Subaru any further.
Felix, who had been about to add yet another jab—likely something about Subaru's disgraceful behavior during the Royal Selection ceremony—clicked his tongue and shut his mouth.
He leaned back slightly, tail flicking, clearly irritated but unwilling to press further after Rem's polite yet pointed defense.
A few more minutes passed in silence as Crusch considered everything that had been said.
Despite Felix's examination and her own thoughts, no clear path to healing Subaru presented itself.
His condition was unlike anything ordinary medicine or magic could handle.
Finally, she let out a quiet breath and turned to Rem.
"Miss Rem, for now, go to him," Crusch instructed. "Speak to him directly and observe his response. Perhaps his state of mind will become clearer."
Rem nodded obediently.
Without hesitation, she excused herself, walked down the hallway, and entered the room where Subaru was being kept.
Inside, she immediately noticed him sitting on the bed, his body hunched forward.
His hands were pressed tightly against his head, his fingers digging into his scalp as if he could hold his thoughts in place by force.
His lips moved ceaselessly, muttering the same names over and over again.
"Rigel… Spica… Tia… Tia! Tia!… Halibel… Rem! My Rem!"
Hearing him cry out so desperately made Rem's chest tighten.
She stepped forward quickly, her voice rising in urgency as she called out, "Subaru! Your Rem is here! I'm right here!"
The muttering stopped immediately.
Subaru froze in place, then slowly, almost stiffly, turned his head.
His eyes widened as he saw her, his expression one of raw desperation.
In a sudden burst of movement, he shot up from the bed and lunged forward, grabbing her hand with both of his.
His grip was tight—almost painfully so—as if he was terrified she would vanish the moment he let go.
"Rem! Rem! You're Rem, right?! My Rem?!" Subaru's voice cracked, his eyes wide with panic, searching her face for an answer that could anchor him to reality.
"Yes! Yes, I am your Rem! I'm Subaru's Rem!" Rem replied instantly, forcing her voice to sound as warm, steady, and affectionate as she possibly could.
She looked him in the eyes with determination, trying to reassure him.
She wanted him to believe her.
She wanted him to know that she was here, that she hadn't abandoned him, that no matter what he was going through she would stand by him.
She wanted Subaru to remember that she was his, and he was hers.
"Rem…" Subaru breathed her name softly, his frantic expression easing slightly.
His shoulders dropped as if a great weight had momentarily lifted, and his breathing began to slow.
For a brief second, he seemed calmer, more composed, though his eyes still glistened with tears.
He held her hands tightly, unwilling to let go.
Then, with a trembling voice but an oddly resolved expression, he spoke again. "Rem… can you… come with me?"
His tone was different now.
Not frantic, not broken.
It was quieter, steadier, as though he had reached a decision deep within himself.
Subaru looked at her as though he had already chosen his path, his eyes locking onto hers with a mix of desperation and conviction.
…
"Where are we going, Subaru?" Rem asked softly, her voice filled with uncertainty as Subaru pulled her along by the hand.
But Subaru didn't answer.
Where were they going?
Rem had no idea.
The only thing she knew for certain was that Subaru, without a word of explanation, had taken their funds and begun dragging her out of the mansion.
His grip on her hand was strong, unyielding, as if letting go would mean losing her forever.
He didn't explain his intentions, didn't even glance back to check her reaction.
The only thing he said, the only thing he insisted, was that if she truly was his Rem, then she must follow him without question.
Rem, who feared that contradicting him might trigger another breakdown like before, swallowed her doubts and chose to accept his request.
She did not resist. Instead, she allowed herself to be guided by him, even if she didn't know where he was taking her or what he was planning.
She endured his silence, trusting him despite the unease in her chest.
And so, together, they left the mansion and stepped into the city.
They walked quickly through the streets, passing by familiar places and people.
Soon they approached the Appa stand, the very same stall where Subaru had broken down not long ago, frightening the fruit seller and drawing the attention of the townsfolk.
Rem glanced at Subaru, wondering if he would lose himself again here, but Subaru simply pushed forward, his eyes fixed ahead as if he was retracing steps burned into his memory.
Finally, they arrived.
'It's the same place…' Subaru thought to himself as they climbed the stone stairs that led to a small, quiet park overlooking the city.
The area was peaceful, almost deserted, with benches and trees arranged neatly around a small clearing. Subaru stopped once they reached the top, and for a long moment, he simply stood there, staring at the space before him as though he was confronting a ghost.
This was the place.
This was the very spot where, long ago, he had made a choice that had altered the entire course of his life.
'It was here… here that I asked Rem to run away with me. And this time…' Subaru released her hand slowly and turned to face her. His lips trembled slightly as he clenched his fists, steadying himself.
'I will ask it again.'
If Subaru had returned by death in his fifties, perhaps he would have been crushed entirely by despair.
Perhaps he would have broken down beyond repair. But fate had been cruel in a different way—he had lived far longer. He had died in his mid-sixties.
By then, fifteen years had already passed since Rem's death.
He had endured the pain of losing her, and though the grief had carved deep scars into him, he had accepted the cruel reality of her absence.
He had made peace with that wound, even if it had never fully healed.
He had accepted Rigel's tearful apology and the harsh truth that his son would never visit him again, too ashamed to face him after all that had happened.
Subaru forgave him anyway, even knowing they would never meet again.
He had blessed Spica when she left to live her own life with her family, only seeing her on rare occasions when she would visit.
He had let her go, proud of the woman she had become, even if the distance between them ached.
And everyone else… he had learned to accept their absence as well.
Halibel. His old comrades. His friends.
Even Zarestia.
When his final moments came, Subaru had been ready.
He had taken his last breath with Zarestia at his side.
He had even told her to let him go, to move on, and to follow her own path—whether that path led her to Rigel, or to a life without either of them.
He had accepted that he would no longer be with her, even though he had loved her deeply in the years after Rem's death.
That was why, after the initial shock of returning to this past, Subaru had been able to gather himself.
Unlike his younger self, unlike the boy who had once fallen apart in this very city, the Subaru standing here now was calmer, steadier, hardened by decades of loss.
He was not without pain—but he was capable of making a clear decision.
And that decision was simple.
He would follow the same path he had once walked.
He would take the same steps, repeat the same choices, because doing so would eventually lead him to the family he had lost.
He would do everything in his power to ensure that Rigel and Spica were born again.
He would meet Halibel once more, he would cross paths with Zarestia again.
And even if this time Zarestia chose not to love him as she once had—even if she loved his son instead or never grew that close to him at all—it would be fine. He would accept it.
What mattered most was that they could still become a family.
As for what came after that… Subaru hadn't thought that far. He didn't need to. His focus was here and now.
And right now, there was only one thing that mattered.
His priority was to take Rem's hand and ask her the same question he once had, to speak the same words that had once defined the course of his life.
The words that had led him down the path of love, of family, of everything that had made his life worth living.
He took a deep breath, met her eyes, and said them again.
"Run away with me, Rem."
Rem looked at him, her eyes wide with shock, completely stunned by what she had just heard.
For a moment, she thought she must have misheard him.
She couldn't believe the words that had come out of his mouth.
"Subaru… I don't understand," she said quietly, her voice trembling as her heart pounded in her chest.
She was deeply unsettled, unsure if Subaru was once again losing control of himself.
When he repeated himself, louder and more desperate this time—
"I said run away with me!"
—Rem flinched. His tone wasn't playful or lighthearted; it was sharp, urgent, filled with desperation. She tightened her grip on his hand, her eyes filled with worry.
"Subaru… if there is a problem, then we can solve it together," she pleaded, hoping to calm him down.
But Subaru's reaction made her breath catch in her throat.
"You cannot solve it! No one can! Not even Reinhardt!" Subaru's voice cracked as he shouted, his expression twisted with despair.
Rem's eyes widened in disbelief. A problem that even Reinhardt, the strongest man alive, could not solve? Such a thing sounded impossible. Yet Subaru was deadly serious.
"Because if we choose that path—if we keep going forward and try to face everything—only death and despair awaits us!" Subaru screamed, his whole body trembling.
Tears spilled down his face, dripping onto the ground.
"How many times? How many times have I tried already? Again and again, I've fought, I've struggled, I've sacrificed everything… but nothing worked! Not once! Of course it didn't… because what can someone like me do? What can a weak, pathetic, worthless person like me ever achieve?"
His voice broke into a bitter laugh, hollow and self-deprecating.
"Subaru-kun," Rem said firmly, though her eyes glistened with sadness at the sight of the man she admired breaking down before her.
"You should not insult yourself like that. Please don't. I have heard what happened in the Royal Castle. I know what people are saying. But I also know my Subaru. Rem's Subaru wasn't wrong that day. Even if you were mocked, even if you were humiliated, even if you failed—none of that changes the truth. Rem believes in her hero. I believe in you. So tell me… what is really wrong?" she asked, trying her best to smile for him.
Subaru's body shook as her words reached him.
His lips trembled, his breathing quickened, and then he broke, shouting at her with a voice filled with anguish.
"Hero? If I'm your hero… then prove it! Do as I say and run away with me! Away from all of this, away from this hell! Please, Rem, I'm begging you… just run away with me!" His tears blurred his vision as his words spilled out uncontrollably.
Then, suddenly, as though something inside of him snapped, Subaru blurted it out.
"The Witch Cult!"
Rem gasped, her heart freezing in her chest as she saw the raw terror on his face.
"They will attack Roswaal's manor," Subaru said, his voice low but trembling.
"They will come for the village… they will come for everyone."
His eyes darted around as if he could already see the carnage.
"A Sin Archbishop will be there! Do you understand? A monster among monsters! It's useless, it's hopeless, there is no way to defeat them. They will slaughter everyone—every villager, Ram, Emilia… everyone will die! The only way to survive is to run away, Rem! We have to run, as far away as possible, before it's too late!"
His desperate gaze locked on hers, begging her for an answer.
But Rem didn't ask how he knew this.
She didn't question his words, because deep inside she already knew: Subaru had always been like this.
Somehow, some way, he always seemed to know what was coming.
It was something she had learned to accept.
And more importantly, she trusted him.
If Subaru said this was true, then it was true.
That was enough.
"If we run away right now…" Rem began softly, her expression gentle as her lips curved into a faint smile.
"We will probably end up going somewhere very far, far away from here. Somewhere no one knows us. Our funds will not last us for long, but that doesn't matter." She looked straight into Subaru's eyes, her voice calm and certain.
"I will find a job easily. As for Subaru, my Subaru may struggle in the beginning, but I know my hero. Eventually, you will find your place. You will work hard, and you will succeed, and before long, everyone will come to love you and recognize how wonderful you are."
Subaru's tears fell faster as she continued, her words painting a picture of a dream he longed to relive.
"Then, one day, we will have a child. Perhaps first a son, and then a daughter."
Her smile softened even further, her cheeks faintly blushing as her imagination wandered. "We will live together, side by side. We will smile together every morning, and we will comfort each other when we cry. We will share in our joys, and we will endure our sorrows. We will create a new life, just the two of us, and we will build a family of our own."
She stopped speaking for a moment, her lips pressing together as if weighing whether she should say the next words aloud.
"Yes! Yes, exactly! That's it!" Subaru's eyes lit up, his expression finally softening with something resembling hope.
"We'll have a family, Rem! I've already decided! Our son's name will be Rigel, and our daughter's name will be Spica! Just imagining them… just thinking about them makes me feel alive again!" He laughed shakily, almost giddy with relief.
But then Rem's next words cut through him like a blade.
"However…"
Her voice was quiet but steady.
"However, I believe my hero would not truly be happy if he ran away without trying. Even if we lived that life… I know you, Subaru. I know you better than anyone. You would regret it. That is why… as much as I want to… I cannot run away with you."
The words hit him harder than any physical blow ever could. Subaru froze in place. His lips parted, but no sound came out. His entire body locked up as he tried to process what she had just said.
He wanted to scream at her.
He wanted to cry, to lash out, to beg her to reconsider.
He wanted to tell her that she was wrong, that there was no hope, that nothing would ever work.
But the words never came.
His throat closed up, and his voice died before it could leave his lips.
Instead, Subaru's legs gave out.
He collapsed to his knees, his hands trembling as they fell uselessly at his sides.
His expression twisted into something broken, his eyes unfocused and filled with despair.
He stared at the ground for a long moment, then forced himself to look up at her—Rem, the woman who had just crushed the fragile hope he had been clinging to.
And yet… she was still smiling at him.
"If you don't run away… then I will," Subaru said at last, his tone sharp and almost childish, as if he was trying to provoke her into giving in. His eyes narrowed, his voice trembling with both anger and despair.
Rem shook her head, her expression filled with both pain and determination. "My hero isn't like this," she whispered softly, as if reminding him of something he had forgotten. "I believe you won't run away." She reached her hand forward, slowly and gently, offering it for him to take. It was the same gesture she had done countless times before when he had broken down, the same silent promise that she would always stand by him no matter what.
Subaru stared at her hand for a long moment. His fingers twitched, slowly reaching out as if to grab it. But then, at the last second, his hand snapped forward and he slapped hers away. The sound of the smack echoed faintly against the cobblestone street.
Rem gasped, startled, her eyes wide with both surprise and hurt. She opened her mouth to say something, but Subaru's voice cut her off, low and filled with pain.
"My Rem… isn't like this," he muttered. His tone carried both bitterness and longing.
Rem froze, confused, her heart skipping a beat. "What do you mean…?" she asked, her voice unsteady.
Subaru lifted his head, his eyes trembling yet resolute. "She was sad… back then, when we ran away. Sad and scared, because we didn't even know where to go. We had no destination, no plan, no certainty. But fate… fate carried us to Kararagi."
His words came out slowly at first, but then with growing firmness, as though he was recounting a memory carved into his very soul.
"In Kararagi, we managed to rent a small house. It wasn't much, but it was enough. And my Rem—" his voice cracked but he continued anyway— "my Rem instantly found a job. Not just any job, but a good one, a respected one. She worked so hard, every single day, and everyone praised her."
Rem stared at him, utterly silent.
Her hands trembled.
His words sounded like madness, yet his tone was far too certain, far too resolute, as though he wasn't speaking nonsense, but truth. Her chest tightened in fear and confusion. Was Subaru hallucinating? Was he imagining things that had never happened? And yet… why did his voice sound so sure?
"I struggled," Subaru admitted, his voice lowering, heavy with shame.
"For an entire year, I couldn't hold onto anything. Job after job, failure after failure. Every single attempt ended in disappointment. I was useless. I was worthless. And yet…" His eyes welled up with tears again.
"Yet my Rem never once gave up on me. She never mocked me, never looked down on me. She was always there, encouraging me, smiling at me, reminding me that I was worth something. She believed in me even when I couldn't believe in myself."
His hands shook as he spoke, and then his lips twisted into a trembling smile. "Later, we met people. Not strangers, but friends. People we grew close to, people we eventually called family. We laughed with them, we cried with them, and together we built something that mattered."
He choked, his throat tightening. "We had a son… we named him Rigel. And then we had a daughter… our sweet little Spica. The six of us together—we were a family. The family I cherished. The family I loved more than anything else in this world."
His body collapsed forward, his knees hitting the cobblestone, and his tears fell freely onto the ground.
His expression was no longer one of rage or madness, but of unbearable grief.
"But now… it's gone. All of it is gone. That family, that life… everything we had… it's been ripped away from me. Tell me, Rem… tell me what I am supposed to do now?!" His voice cracked as he sobbed, each word heavier than the last.
For once, Subaru's face wasn't twisted in insanity or wild emotion.
This wasn't the broken laughter of a madman.
This was pure, unfiltered grief.
His shoulders trembled violently as his tears streamed down, soaking the stones beneath him.
"Just when I thought I had finally come to terms with it all… just when I thought everything was over, when I was finally ready to accept my fate and die in peace… this happened." His fists clenched tightly, his nails digging into his skin as he cried harder.
"Why? Why was I brought back again? Why was everything taken from me? What is the meaning of all this?! What's the meaning of my life if everything I build is just destroyed?! Is there any meaning in what I do at all?!"
"There is a meaning."
The words came suddenly, cutting through his cries like a blade.
Rem froze mid-step. She had been about to kneel down and wrap her arms around Subaru, to hold him tightly against her chest as she always did.
But those words… that voice stopped her cold.
Subaru's sobs halted instantly. Even though his tears continued to fall, his body stiffened as his ears caught the sound. He knew that voice. He knew it better than anyone.
But it was impossible. It couldn't be real. That was a voice he shouldn't be able to hear.
"Even if things have become this bad… even if the whole world has turned against you… even if you have lost everything and been abandoned by everyone you love… you still have one thing."
The words echoed again, steady and calm, carrying a weight that shook Subaru to his core.
Subaru lifted his head, his body trembling.
Rem's expression mirrored his shock—her lips parted, her eyes wide, her face pale.
She slowly took a step backward as if she had just witnessed something unthinkable.
"H-How… how is this possible?" she muttered, her voice shaking as her gaze locked on the figure standing behind Subaru.
Slowly, painfully, Subaru rose to his feet, every movement heavy as he turned to face the source of the voice.
And then his breath caught in his throat.
He was staring directly at himself.
Standing there, just a few feet away, was Natsuki Subaru—his own face, his own hair, his own eyes, even his own voice. It was him, exactly him, yet somehow not.
"You…" Subaru whispered, his voice trembling.
The other Subaru smirked faintly, his expression both knowing and mocking. "You were really slothful, Subaru," he said.
His tone was sharp, but not cruel—more like a teacher scolding a student.
The world seemed to stop around him. The air was heavy, suffocating.
It was him. Another him. A Subaru that should not exist.
And then, as if to hammer it into reality, the other Subaru repeated the words.
"You still have yourself."
Subaru's body trembled as his mind struggled to grasp what he was seeing.
The boy who had been thrown into another world, who had suffered rejection, who had let his friends die again and again, who had found love and built a family, who had lost everything and been dragged back to the beginning… he had thought he was alone in his journey.
But he wasn't.
Because standing before him now was proof.
For the first time since the nightmare began… he had a guide.
And that guide was no one else but himself.
From another time, another space, another reality.
To be continued...
💬 (A/N: Support the Author!)
Hey everyone! 💖
If you're enjoying my stories, check out my Re:Zero fanfic — Re:Zero: The Great Sage!
You can also join my Membership Program to get early chapters, exclusive stories, and cool illustrations!
🌟 Membership Tiers
💠 $2.5 — Trial Tier
5 chapters of Re:Zero: The Great Sage
3 chapters of Is It Wrong to Be a High-Elf in a Dungeon?
3 chapters of Pride if Alternative
💎 $5 — Respected Member
12 chapters of Re:Zero: The Great Sage
7 chapters of Is It Wrong to Be a High-Elf in a Dungeon?
All available chapters of Pride if Alternative
Exclusive Illustrations
Discord Role
🔥 $10 — Loyal Member
20 chapters of Re:Zero: The Great Sage
15 chapters of Is It Wrong to Be a High-Elf in a Dungeon?
All available chapters of Pride if Alternative
Versatile Mage: Infinite Resources (Exclusive Fic Chapters)
Exclusive Illustrations
Discord Role
👑 $15 — Royal Member (Nearly Sold Out!)
30 chapters of Re:Zero: The Great Sage
All available chapters of Is It Wrong to Be a High-Elf in a Dungeon?
All available chapters of Pride if Alternative
Versatile Mage: Infinite Resources chapters
Exclusive Illustrations
Discord Role
💫 $20 — Mommy Minerva's Sugar Child (Sold Out!)
35 chapters of Re:Zero: The Great Sage
All available chapters of every other fic
Exclusive Illustrations
Discord Role
⚔️ $30 — King Arthur Tier
All previous perks
Special small animated scenes from my fanfics
My eternal thanks 🙏)
https://discord.gg/Xb47VnFUpQ
https://patreon.com/AkrosZero