BANG!
The door—made of a special honeycomb material with excellent soundproofing, ensuring that no matter how loud a guest screamed inside, not a single syllable would reach the hallway—was kicked open.
Wielding her baseball bat, Stelle charged in full of righteous fury. Her golden eyes blazed as she loudly proclaimed:
"Halt, criminal! I am the Captain of the Xianzhou Realm-Keeping Commission's 24th Temporary Duty Squadron, Officer ID 9527—the Galaxy Batwoman!"
"You two have violated the unforgivable sin of lust under the Galactic Justice Law! I, the Galaxy Batwoman, hereby declare all your rights stripped and that you are to be sealed and apprehended! Surrender peacefully!"
March 7th followed close behind, camera in hand. From the moment she entered the room, she activated the manual interval shooting mode, ensuring no detail of the crime would be missed.
"Officer ID 3737," March 7th said, holding the temporary Realm-Keeping Commission ID in her other hand.
"Hands up! You two are under arrest! You have the right to remain silent, but anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law!"
Little March spoke with righteous conviction and a very serious expression, but inside, her heart was leaping with joy.
Yay!
She had watched a few classic Xianzhou holodramas over the past two nights and thought the lines were so cool. She finally had a chance to say them for real.
The room was quiet. There were no sounds of passion that would make one's blood boil, nor were there the hushed negotiations of criminals making a deal.
Stelle and March 7th both assumed their righteous aura had stunned the two miscreants into silence, and the corners of their mouths began to curl up in satisfaction.
Until they got a clear look at the two figures lying side-by-side on the large, heart-shaped bed.
One had light brown hair tied up in a youthful style, with a copper sparrow hair ornament pinned to one side. Her black, off-the-shoulder top revealed delicate shoulders, and her pale white calves dangled playfully from beneath a cyan, swallowtail skirt.
She looked utterly adorable!
It was just that her height, a good half-head shorter than even Seele, and her small face, which looked as if carved from pink jade, made Stelle cry out in pity internally. Such a cute girl had walked down the path of crime!
What was even more criminal was the fellow lying next to her on the love hotel bed.
"Caelus… cub…!?"
Stelle's righteous judge persona gradually dissipated.
March 7th's fingers, which had been furiously pressing the shutter button, froze solid in an instant. She even forgot to lower her camera, instead choosing to stretch her neck and crane her head forward to see.
She stared at the familiar young man and the unfamiliar cute girl on the bed with an expression like she'd just seen a ghost.
"Caelus? What are you doing here?"
"Shouldn't I be the one asking you that?"
Caelus was stunned too. He never expected Hachi-Stelle and Little March to suddenly burst in.
"Why are you two here? Wait, Bronya is here too?"
Caelus was even more surprised when he saw the silver-gray, curly-haired beauty walk in after them.
What was going on?
Silver Wing was in the Honkai World, and Seele and 'White' Seele were using the latter's body to explore the Sea of Quanta. They both had things to do and wouldn't be playing with Stelle and March 7th around the clock.
When 'White' Seele and Little Duck were in control of the body, Caelus had no way of knowing their situation, but hadn't they agreed to go shopping in Aurum Alley before he left?
How did they end up with Stelle and March 7th?
"Why? At this point, is there any meaning in asking such a thing?"
The raised baseball bat was lowered. Gray bangs covered her eyes, and the ambiguous pink light on Stelle's face, making her expression unreadable.
"Um, h-hello~ I'm Qingque. Please don't misunderstand, Old Caelus and I were just…"
Qingque gave a strained laugh, raising a hand to wave hello. She looked somewhat guilty and nervous, forcing an awkward but polite smile onto her face.
Her memory was excellent. She remembered Caelus's companions; they were the ones who had called him away from the teahouse that day, leaving her itching with curiosity about the new Celestial Jade gameplay for days!
She had a particularly deep impression of Stelle, since the video of Caelus proposing to Stelle with a trash can had hit number one on the short video platform charts a few days ago.
The problem was, why were Caelus's companions here?
The bigger problem was, how did they become officers of the Realm-Keeping Commission?
As someone who also ate from the public rice bowl of the Divination Commission, Qingque could tell at a glance that the ID in March 7th's hand was real. Even if it was just a temporary one, it was real!
And the even more serious problem was that this situation would definitely be misunderstood by Caelus's companions!
Qingque immediately started to explain, but she got stuck at the crucial point of defining her relationship with Caelus.
If, at first, she thought of Caelus as a fellow slacker in the Dao whom she regretted not meeting sooner, that elevated to him being a soulmate after she learned of his research into Celestial Jade. After they talked in detail, she came to see him as a brother, a best girlfriend.
But it turned out her good brother was only three years old.
How was she supposed to define their relationship now?
Qingque's hesitation made the room even more silent. Just as a fine, cold sweat began to bead on her forehead from anxiety, Caelus's 'sister' made her move.
"ORA!"
With a roar worthy of a Gaia transformation, Hachi-Stelle tossed aside her bat and launched her Starving-Stelle Pounce.
"Damn you, Caelus-cub! No wonder you weren't in a hurry even after seeing me open so many treasure chests! You were secretly cuddling with a cute girl behind my back!"
"Having so much fun here, you've forgotten all about the Express! Is that it?"
Stelle leaped, landing in a spread-eagle position. One long, pale leg pressed down on Caelus, while the other pinned Qingque.
"How old is this child? How could you bring yourself to do it? How enviable… bah, how tragic!"
The subdued Caelus wasn't flustered at all, calmly watching the Stellaron spirit's performance.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! It wasn't on purpose! I really didn't know Caelus's age!"
Seeing Stelle fly over, Qingque frantically raised her hands. When she felt her body being pinned down, she didn't resist arrest. Well-versed in the official regulations, she knew this was definitely not the time to fight back.
Qingque wanted to take out her Jade Abacus and post a plea for help.
"My friend, a beautiful 200-year-old maiden, took a three-year-old big bro to a love hotel to get a room, but they were caught red-handed by the big bro's companions who had joined the Realm-Keeping Commission! What should she do? Urgent!!!"
This time, the master slacker was truly panicking. If word of this got out, her reputation would be ruined!
Although Qingque had never cared much for her reputation, remaining unmoved by honor or disgrace, her parents cared!
If the Qing family produced a perverted warlock, pointed at and gossiped about by the neighbors, drowned in saliva—her parents would kill her!
"...?"
Her brow furrowed in regret. Stelle stared at Qingque, who was chattering away under her, explaining herself coherently according to Xianzhou law. She tilted her head slowly to the right, then, unable to comprehend, tilted it to the other side.
"Little sister, how old are you?"
Stelle smiled, even trying to make her voice sound sweeter.
"I just came of age. 203 years old."
Qingque replied, pressed face-down into the bed by Stelle.
"...Oh, then it's fine."
After staying on the Xianzhou for so many days, Stelle had already accepted the peculiar social structures that resulted from the long lives of its people. A child on the street could very well be older than Uncle Yang.
With that, Stelle rolled over on the bed, nudged Caelus aside with her butt to secure a good spot, and then pulled Qingque on top of herself.
"Come on, little sister, I'm ready to be smelted!"
Stelle closed her eyes and puffed out her chest, her expression as heroic as a warrior leaping into a smelting furnace.
"Huh?"
Qingque was dumbfounded.
"You rude Hachi-Stelle, don't you understand first come, first served?!"
Caelus snatched Qingque back from Stelle, making the girl sit on top of him with her legs tucked under her in a W-sit.
"I'm a Realm-Keeping Commission law enforcement officer right now, I have enforcement authority, so I go first!"
Stelle snatched Qingque back again, her expression screaming, Don't you know what an official is?
"Don't you know what a vice squad raid is? That's you! Get naked and go squat in the corner! Remember, hands behind your head!"
March 7th watched in distress as the girl in the cyan swallowtail skirt was pulled back and forth between the two gray-haired youths.
"This was supposed to be an operation to arrest a criminal, how did it turn into this?"
"That's enough, you two!"
March 7th went to break them up. "Caelus, why didn't you come find us right after you got back to the Xianzhou? You didn't even say hello, hmm?"
This made March 7th a little angry, so she decided to help Stelle.
"Duckie, help me!"
Facing a two-on-one disadvantage, Caelus sent out a signal for help.
Little Duck had been silently observing the farce. Hearing Caelus's call, she pondered for a few seconds. Considering she needed to maintain her Silver Wing persona, she decided to help him out.
After ten minutes of explanation, both sides finally understood why the other was there.
"So, you and Miss Qingque are here because you accidentally discovered a suspicious person in contact with the Disciples of Sanctus Medicus and decided to investigate?"
Blinking her smart eyes, March 7th's CPU spun for a long while before she finally grasped the whole story.
"That's right," Caelus nodded seriously.
"What about the main point? The details? Why are you with Qingque?"
Stelle interlaced her fingers, propped her chin on her hands, and stared intently at the scoundrel before her with a serious expression.
Caelus met Stelle's gaze for a second, his solemn expression gradually melting away. He put an arm around Stelle's shoulder.
"Stelle, you don't know since it's your first time here, right? Let me tell you, the Xianzhou natives are wild. This bed can release…"
Qingque looked on with a face full of question marks as Stelle, who had been a paragon of justice one second, was now listening excitedly to Caelus's introduction to the room's erotic gadgets.
This girl has to be three years old too, right?
"Everyone, aren't you going to do something about the room next door?"
Little Duck pointed, mentally exhausted, at the surveillance feed on Caelus's phone.
She felt like she was in a ranked match where, apart from herself, her four teammates didn't care if they won or lost.
"Huh?"
"Oh, right!"
The room, filled with an ambiguous pink light, fell silent for a moment. Stelle, Caelus, Qingque, and March 7th all came to their senses, and four heads crowded around the phone.
On the screen, a Xianzhou woman was handing a box to a middle-aged man whose face was filled with excitement and fanaticism. After haughtily giving a few instructions, she turned to leave.
"Don't let her get away! Caelus-cub, C-point! March, B-point! Duckie, protect Qingque! GO, GO, GO!"
Stelle tore open a small, thin packet, wrapped her bat with the balloon, and ran out the door, ready to catch them red-handed with all the evidence.
"B-point? Where's B-point? No one mentioned map points before?"
March 7th was stunned and confused.
"She's probably talking about your bust size."
Caelus explained to Little March before taking out his yo-yo and following her out.
March 7th: "?"
By that logic, did Caelus have a C-cup?
"Hands up! You two are under arrest! You have the right to remain silent, but anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law!"
Just as March 7th was lost in thought, she heard those words echo from the hallway.
Wait!
Hold on!
He stole my line!
Little March hurriedly rushed out.
Leaving only Qingque and Bronya staring at each other in the room.
________________________________________
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