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Feeling every eye in the room turn toward him, Hephaestus straightened up and began introducing his masterpiece with obvious pride.
The shield's material came from the shattered remains of the chain that had once bound Zeus during the great divine war, before the king of the gods broke free and smashed it apart.
They were nothing more than scraps, technically, but the metal fragments scattered across that battlefield had soaked up the divine power of Zeus and the other gods throughout the fighting, making them extraordinarily valuable.
So Hephaestus had gathered every last piece, poured his soul into the work, and forged this divine shield especially for Lorne, who was about to take Thetis as his wife.
With the skill only he possessed, the God of the Forge had carved the sun, moon, and stars across its face, the vast sweep of heaven and earth, and two scenes depicting cities that held particular significance to Lorne.
And by channeling his divine power and calling upon the shield with focused intent,
Lorne, as its wielder, could reconstruct time and space within a certain range, unfolding a miniature [Small World] beneath a canopy of sky as his defense.
In theory, this divine-forged armament was no weaker than either of the two Aegis shields in existence.
Only an attack strong enough to tear the world itself apart could hope to scratch it.
As Hephaestus finished his explanation, the gods around them couldn't quite hide the envy creeping into their expressions.
Being spoken of in the same breath as the Aegis shields held by Athena and Zeus said everything about just how powerful this thing was.
As for Lorne, the one actually receiving the gift...even though had seen plenty of divine artifacts in his time, yet even he found himself genuinely moved.
"This is far too precious, isn't it?"
"Take it. A weapon is forged to be used."
Hephaestus shoved the shield into Lorne's hands without ceremony, then raised one thick arm and brought it down firmly on the shoulder of the man who was soon to be his adoptive father, his voice dropping to something grave and sincere.
"And it's not like I'm handing this over for free. I hope you'll use the shield
I forged to protect my foster mother. That's the real treasure I'm trusting to your hands."
Hearing those solemn words come from that ugly, lame man, every god present felt something stir in their chest.
Up on the dais, Hera stood waiting to preside over the ceremony as she looked at this son she had once thrown away like trash, only for Thetis to take him home and raise him, and felt a tangled mess of emotions she couldn't quite sort through.
If she had never abandoned him, perhaps she too might have had a child who valued loyalty and love this deeply.
Maybe, in a moment like this, it would have been her standing there receiving that warmth.
Alas...there's no if.
Then the quiet that had settled over the hall broke as Lorne came back to himself, reached up and gripped Hephaestus's thick, hairy forearm, and made his promise without looking away.
"I swear it."
Satisfied with that answer, the God of the Forge gave a firm nod, then turned and stepped back into the crowd, clearing the floor for everyone else.
With the Muses reading from the registry, the gods came forward one by one in the order they had been announced, each presenting their gifts to the newlyweds.
Hera's gift was the pomegranate, her sacred symbol, carrying the blessing of [Fertility] to ensure the couple would soon start a family and be blessed with many children.
Athena's gift was a pair of plump little snowy owl chicks, sweet enough to be kept as pets but also useful as messengers between husband and wife.
Whether they had any other purpose, the goddess of wisdom kept to herself.
Artemis's gift was two carefully selected hunting hound pups, similar in spirit to Athena's.
Whether the two goddesses had talked it over beforehand, no one could say.
After them came Apollo, Aphrodite, and the rest of the Olympian major gods who had stood with the rebellion.
Most of them owed Lorne a favor from the divine war three days ago, so they weren't particularly stingy, offering weapons, instruments, sacred objects, and other things of genuine worth.
But with Hephaestus's gift setting the bar, everything that followed felt a little flat by comparison.
As for Zeus and the gods of the Olympian establishment, though they clearly hated every second of it, the Fates had left them no room to refuse, and so they pinched their noses and handed over their offerings anyway.
Their gifts, however, were noticeably thin.
The half-heartedness was plain for anyone to see.
Finding no excuse to kick up a fuss, Lorne kept his best professional smile in place and got through it.
Once the Olympians were done, the sea gods came forward, led by the Old Man of the Sea, Nereus.
As the actual family of the bride, old father Nereus and her younger sister Amphitrite, Queen of the Sea, were generous, bringing a whole collection of treasures from the waters of Oceanus.
But Thetis had not forgotten watching these same relatives shut their doors in her face during Peleus's forced courtship, choosing to protect themselves rather than her.
That wound hadn't closed.
So for all the goodwill her father and sister were offering now, she accepted it with nothing warmer than polite thanks, a quiet distance in her manner she made no effort to hide.
Nereus and Amphitrite knew they deserved it.
After presenting their gifts they retreated into the crowd without a word, holding onto the hope that time might eventually mend what had cracked between them.
Last to arrive were the brothers Thanatos and Hypnos from the Underworld, along with Melinoe, daughter of the King of the Dead.
Ever since Hecate had crashed and burned and been dealt with, this daughter of Hades, finally free of her supervisor's watchful eye, had been living rather well by all appearances.
She walked with a swagger that acknowledged nobody, and even the twin gods of the Underworld had no choice but to trail along behind her as decoration.
The moment she spotted Lorne's half-smiling face, though Melinoe's body shuddered instinctively,
She quickly plastered a smile over her expression and approached with notable caution. "This is from my father and mother."
She waved her hand, and Thanatos and Hypnos stepped forward, each carrying a gift box.
Lorne opened them and smiled, warm and unhurried.
Neither item was rare or precious.
In fact, both were quite simple.
One was a narcissus flower, the kind that properly belonged to the Underworld, yet somehow in full bloom here in the living world.
The other was a short cutting of the Golden Bough, set in a small pot and radiating a quiet, vigorous life.
It seemed his adoptive father and mother were doing beautifully.
A happy household, by every sign.
Understanding what the old couple wanted to say, Lorne closed the boxes and turned to Melinoe.
"Pass along my regards to the King and Queen of the Underworld."
"Hold on, there's still more from me."
Melinoe beckoned behind her, and then, in front of everyone, Hypnos led a goat forward on a rope while Thanatos carried over a jar of honey.
When Lorne saw those two items, his gaze went very still, and he spoke with a half-smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.
"I haven't really been eating goat lately..."
Melinoe waved that off and quickly explained.
"Relax, it's not for you to eat. It's not even for you, really. It's for you to pass along to someone else..."
Watching the mischief dancing in those eyes, Lorne understood immediately.
This "someone else" was naturally a mutual acquaintance, someone they had both, at one point or another, conspired to thoroughly torment.
There's a saying, isn't there?
Some people, because they got soaked in the rain once, can't stand watching others run through a downpour without an umbrella, and so they offer to share theirs.
Others, because they got soaked in the rain once, would rather tear everyone else's umbrella apart too, so nobody gets to stay dry.
If little Medusa was the first kind, then Melinoe was absolutely the second.
And the reason she was presenting this particular gift was obviously to deliver a sweeter form of affection to her former teacher, making sure Hecate got to experience the full, undiluted horror of a goat-horned demon and honey.
Lorne accepted both items with a cheerful nod.
Melinoe's face split into a grin.
A pity she wouldn't get to watch the old witch break down in tears with her own eyes.
Otherwise this trip would have been just about perfect.
With the gift exchange complete, Hera stepped forward to conduct the rite of matrimony.
Witnessed by the assembled gods, Lorne and Thetis exchanged their tokens and were formally declared husband and wife.
When the ceremony ended, the wedding moved into its final stage.
The gods filed into the banquet hall that had been set up within the venue, ready to enjoy the food and drink laid out in celebration.
But as the cloth over one of the tables was pulled back, a golden apple sitting at the center of the main platter caught every eye in the room.
Its brilliant color and the rich, divine fragrance drifting off it, stirred an instinctive, almost uncontrollable desire in those present...to claim it, and none more so than Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite.
A hunger lit in each of their eyes that was difficult to conceal.
Not because it contained power and looked fragrant, but because inscribed on the surface of that golden apple, plain for all to see, were the words:
"To the Fairest."
As the three goddesses most celebrated for their beauty across all of Olympus, each of them found herself instinctively certain that those words were meant for her.
The guests around them caught the feeling too, their competitive instincts flaring, everyone taking sides and calling out their champion.
The evening banquet hadn't even officially started, and already the hall had erupted into a strange, electric fever.
Watching the gods argue until their faces flushed red and their voices climbed over each other,
Lorne couldn't help frowning slightly.
Was the divine nature of [Discord] really this potent?
Or had Eris, riding the wave of chaos from the divine war, hit some kind of breakthrough and grew stronger than she used to be?
But that thought had barely formed before he shook his head and dismissed it.
No. It was one thing for Aphrodite to be caught up in it.
But Hera owned an entire tree of golden apples.
She could have as many as she wanted.
There was no logical reason for one apple to pull her in like this.
And Athena, even less so.
A setting like this, a trick this transparent, she was the living embodiment of wisdom.
She would never genuinely fall for something this simple.
Then, as a flicker of excitement at joining the argument surged through him unbidden, Lorne carefully examined that faint, unruly impulse, and something shifted in his eyes.
This wasn't [Discord].
This was [Fate].
Now that he thought about it, the original Eris had herself split off from Nyx, one of the three primordial aspects of night.
Either a remnant of fate's divine power still clung to her, or this was a [script] written by the Moirai themselves, fixed in place and not to be rewritten.
How interesting.
Things just keep getting more and more interesting.
Having untangled the puzzle, a quiet, amused smile settled on Lorne's face.
"Since arguing isn't going to get anyone anywhere, why not let the host of today's banquet be the judge?"
"Wonderful idea!"
The suggestion, coming from no particular direction, drew immediate agreement from around the hall, and the three goddesses who were about to fight over the apple looked up with a sudden gleam, turning as one toward the master of the feast.
Lorne, finding every one of those gazes landing on him, felt his expression go very flat.
'Which scheming little bastard just threw me into this pit?'
In the original [Fate], this thankless role of judge was supposed to fall to Paris, Prince of Troy, and the whole [Golden Apple Incident] was supposed to light the fuse for the future Trojan War.
But because Lorne had gotten involved in Thetis's fate far too early and dragged this wedding forward by a significant stretch of time, the Trojan War was nowhere near the horizon.
Paris probably hadn't even been born yet.
So this black pot of being the judge was thrown onto his head, and it was truly not unjust at all.
But even so, knowing it was a big pit that would offend people, Lorne naturally had no intention of jumping in.
Especially since two of the three candidates were Athena and Hera, both of whom had spent the last two days and one very long night in rather close company with him.
Just as Lorne, with every self-preservation instinct he had firing at full blast, was drawing breath to find some excuse to step politely, a weight suddenly landed in his hand.
He looked down and saw the tray in his hand along with the golden apple engraved with words on it.
"Who it belongs to, you decide."
The bride Thetis smiled as she pressed a carving knife into his other hand, looking for all the world like a wife happily deferring to her husband, watching him with every outward appearance of warm expectation.
And yet the tiny glint of mischief buried deep in those sea-blue eyes did not escape Lorne's notice.
"..."
The person in question looked resentful and felt depressed.
Great, so it was probably exposed.
He knew that marrying too smart a woman would not bring peace.
Although she loved him, it was precisely because she loved him that she did this.
How could a woman stand being cuckolded. And the cheaters were acting so brazenly right in front of her...?
And not just by one.
She still had to show some mischievousness, right.
Alas...it seemed this wife was not someone easy to deal with either.
"You want me to be the judge?
Fine. If that's how it is, let's do it."
Seeing that there was no way to avoid it, Lorne thought for a moment, steeled his heart, stepped directly onto the high platform, smiled as he picked up the knife, and made his judgment under everyone's watchful eyes.
First, he peeled the skin and gave the peel to Aphrodite.
"To be fair, you really are quite beautiful. As a layer of skin, it is still presentable."
Second, he cut the flesh and gave the flesh to Hera.
"You sit at the top of Olympus as Queen of Heaven, and yet everything from eight-hundred-year-old gods down to the livestock has managed to cuckold you, men, women, and goats included.
Since there's clearly nothing left of your dignity, I'll at least give you something with a bit of substance."
Third, he gave the remaining core, to Athena.
"By rights you were supposed to be born male and inherit Zeus's throne, but thanks to Zeus's scheming, that was taken from you before you ever had the chance. So I'll give you the seed, instead."
The verdict landed and the hall went completely silent.
Aphrodite clenched her fists, Hera raised her scepter, and Athena summoned her spear and shield.
All three fixed their eyes on the shameless judge who had somehow managed to insult each of them in a single breath, teeth grinding.
Lorne, taking one look at that, stepped back without hesitation, reached into the crowd, grabbed Eris the goddess of Discord, and hauled her in front of him as a human shield.
"You call yourself the goddess of Discord? Look at this. I got all three of them to agree on something in one go. Your talent for stirring trouble is honestly nothing compared to mine."
"..."
Eris, who had been happily watching the drama unfold, was rather thrown off, and then, taking in the sight of three divine presences bearing down with rather alarming intent, hastily denied any involvement.
"That wasn't me, I had nothing to do with it, stop making things up..."
Clatter.
With a clean, ringing sound, Lorne tossed a runic crystal he had taken down from one of the rafters into the middle of the hall.
The projection that flickered up showed everything, in perfect detail: how, the night before, a blood-red figure had crept silently into the venue and planted this golden apple in advance.
Faced with evidence this conclusive in front of them, the gods who had been swept up in some feverish state came back to their senses, and the shame of being so thoroughly played brought a collective darkening of expressions as every murderous gaze in the room turned toward the one responsible.
Eris went rigid, and could only stiffen her spine and tough it out.
"A misunderstanding. It was all a misunderstanding!"
Lorne tilted his head, appearing to consider this.
"So what you're saying is, this wasn't done of your own volition?"
"Yes, yes, exactly, that's exactly what I mean!"
Hearing that someone was actually throwing her a lifeline at this crucial moment, Eris nodded vigorously over and over, seizing the rope with both hands, desperate to clear her name as quickly as possible before anyone thought too hard about anything.
Lorne nodded, and held the platter and carving knife out to Eris.
"Don't pull that kind of stunt again."
Hearing the tone noticeably soften, Eris, feeling as though she had just narrowly escaped death, lit up with unrestrained relief and bobbed her head with the enthusiasm of a bird going after grain.
He just believed her that easily?
Was this man actually that easy to fool?
Well then, next time...
The goddess of Discord watched Lorne's retreating figure, her gaze flickering with quiet calculation, inadvertently revealing her own incorrigible nature for all to see.
"And now, since all three of them have received their share, I suppose this last remaining piece goes to you, Your Majesty."
At that very moment, Lorne, having left Eris behind, came to stand before Zeus, and with a pleasant smile, placed what remained in the god-king's hand: a single small stub of the apple's stem.
'So that's how it is.'
Everyone watching the scene understood in an instant, and no small number of them turned toward the King of Olympus with open contempt.
Who in that hall didn't know that Eris had shown up at the most critical moment of the divine war with three Hecatoncheires to turn the tide?
She was Zeus's most loyal and devoted ally.
Without someone pulling her strings, she would never have dared to make fools of every god assembled here.
'It was you all along, Zeus.'
Caught in a crossfire of gazes ranging from contempt to barely concealed fury to outright delight at his misfortune, Zeus, standing in a daze, looked back with genuine bewilderment.
"What are you talking about? This is preposterous!"
"The way I see it, I judged correctly after all." Lorne let out a short, derisive laugh, pointed to the stub of stem in Zeus's hand, and opened his mouth in a taunt that left no room for dignity.
"I judged exactly right. Bold enough to act but not to own it, can't even divide an apple without losing his nerve. I'd wager that your manhood is about on par with what I just gave you."
In an instant, mocked to his face in front of all of Olympus, the king of the gods began to tremble, his rage cresting into something that had gone well past boiling.
After all, which man could accept others questioning his "inability"?
(End of Chapter)