The Konuari family was ready to visit the zoo.
Well, almost ready.
Elena certainly believed they were ready. She had been running around the living room for the past several minutes, barely staying in one place long enough for Yuuta to keep track of her. Her little wings fluttered behind her while her tail moved excitedly from side to side, and judging by the enormous smile on her face, she had already decided that today would be one of the greatest days of her life.
"Papa! Papa! Let's go! Let's go!" Elena bounced near the sofa before immediately running back toward him. "Zoo! Zoo! Zoo!"
Yuuta watched his daughter with a mixture of amusement and exhaustion. He genuinely didn't understand how something so small could contain that much energy.
Elena had been awake for hours, had already eaten breakfast, bothered him while he cleaned the kitchen, and somehow she still looked ready to run around the apartment for another three hours.
"Zoo, Elena," he corrected gently.
"Not 'zoo zoo zoo.' Just zoo."
"ZOO ZOO ZOO!" she repeated happily, raising both hands.
Yuuta stared at her for a moment before deciding there was absolutely no point in continuing this argument. Elena had won, although he wasn't entirely sure when the competition had started.
In the corner of the living room, Erza sat on the floor despite the perfectly usable sofa nearby. Yuuta had stopped asking why she refused to sit on it.
She currently held his phone in both hands, her violet eyes moving across the screen as she read article after article about Earth's animals with far more seriousness than anyone should reasonably have while preparing for a zoo trip.
Yuuta also had no idea how she had learned to use his phone so quickly. He had shown her the basics once, and apparently that had been enough for the Dragon Queen to understand most of it.
At this point, he had simply accepted that dragons were unfairly talented at things they had no business understanding.
"Fascinating," Erza murmured as she scrolled down the page. "This 'lion' creature possesses only one head, yet it rules its territory through physical strength alone. Primitive, but effective."
Her thumb moved across the screen again.
"And this elephant is considerably larger. No elemental abilities, no magical defenses, yet most creatures avoid challenging it." Erza's eyes narrowed slightly as she continued reading. "Pure physical dominance."
Yuuta glanced toward her while searching through his closet.
Erza continued without noticing him. "The tiger hunts alone, while wolves rely upon groups. Different methods of survival despite possessing neither mana nor magical essence."
For the first time since she had started reading, something close to approval appeared in her eyes.
"Your world's beasts are impressive in their own way."
Yuuta stopped moving.
He slowly looked over his shoulder.
Did the Dragon Queen just compliment Earth?
"Pathetic compared to actual monsters, of course," Erza added calmly. "But impressive for creatures with such limited capabilities."
There it was.
Yuuta silently returned his attention to the closet. For one dangerous second, he had thought Erza had developed genuine respect for something on Earth. Apparently, he had been expecting too much.
He pulled out a clean shirt and looked over the rest of his clothes. This was supposed to be a simple outing, so he didn't need anything special. He just wanted to look somewhat presentable while taking Elena to the zoo.
Then a thought suddenly occurred to him.
Yuuta stopped searching through the closet and slowly turned around. His eyes first landed on Elena, who was still moving around the living room, before shifting toward Erza.
He looked at her dress.
Then at Elena's.
Yuuta remained quiet for several seconds as something embarrassingly obvious finally entered his mind. Erza had been staying in his apartment for days now, and during that entire time, he had never once wondered whether she had brought anything with her.
Actually...
Had she?
Yuuta stepped out of the bedroom and stopped near the doorway. He didn't immediately speak, mostly because he was trying to decide how to ask the question without somehow offending a woman who could probably remove his head before he finished apologizing.
He cleared his throat softly.
"My Queen?"
Erza raised her eyes from the phone.
Her silver hair fell loosely around her shoulders, catching some of the afternoon light coming through the window. She didn't say anything, but the look she gave him made it clear that he had her attention.
Elena noticed as well. She stopped bouncing on the sofa and turned toward her father, her little hands resting against the cushion while she watched him curiously.
Yuuta hesitated before finally speaking.
"I just wanted to ask something."
Erza waited.
"Does Your Majesty have clothes for this trip?"
For several seconds, nobody said anything.
Yuuta immediately began wondering whether he had somehow asked the question incorrectly. Erza's expression hadn't changed, but experience had already taught him that her expression changing wasn't necessary for him to be in danger.
"What did you say?" she finally asked.
Yuuta kept his voice respectful. "I only mean that Your Highness's dress is beautiful. Truly. I have never seen clothing like it before, and I can tell it wasn't made by an ordinary tailor."
Erza continued staring at him.
"But..." Yuuta glanced briefly at the dress. "It is also the only dress I have seen Your Highness wearing since you arrived. Elena has the same problem. She has her little dress with the snow crystal patterns, but she cannot wear the same thing forever."
Erza studied his face for several seconds, apparently trying to determine whether there was some hidden insult inside his words.
Eventually, she spoke.
"You believe I packed luggage for this journey?"
Yuuta blinked. "My Queen?"
"You believe that I, the Queen of Atlantis, prepared for an extended stay in this world by selecting several outfits and placing them neatly inside luggage?"
There was no anger in her voice. Somehow, that made Yuuta feel even more foolish.
Erza placed the phone on her lap and looked directly at him.
"When I crossed the boundary between worlds while searching for the father of my child, do you believe I stopped beforehand to consider what clothing I would require?" Her violet eyes narrowed slightly. "Did you imagine me standing before my wardrobe wondering what I should wear on Tuesday?"
Yuuta opened his mouth, but nothing useful came out.
His ears were beginning to feel warm.
"No, my Queen. That isn't what I meant."
"I arrived with nothing," Erza said, cutting through his attempt to explain. "The clothing on my body and the child beside me. Nothing more."
That answer removed some of the embarrassment from Yuuta's face.
He had known that Erza hadn't come to Earth expecting a peaceful visit, but hearing her say it so plainly reminded him of exactly what her original intention had been.
"I did not plan to remain here," she continued. "I did not plan to sit inside this apartment, use your strange devices, sleep beneath your roof, or tolerate your existence beyond the time necessary to end it."
Elena had gone quiet.
The little girl slowly climbed down from the sofa and walked toward Yuuta. Without saying anything, she wrapped both arms around his leg and pressed herself against him.
Yuuta looked down at her.
Erza did too.
For a brief moment, her attention remained on Elena before returning to Yuuta.
"But you asked for one year," Erza said. Her voice remained cold, although some of its earlier sharpness had disappeared. "And I agreed. Therefore, I remain here. In the same clothing, inside the same world I never intended to visit."
Yuuta didn't argue with her. There wasn't anything to argue about.
He rested one hand gently against Elena's hair before nodding.
"I understand, my Queen. Your Highness never planned any of this."
Erza remained silent.
"But you're here now," Yuuta continued. "And if Your Highness intends to remain here for a year, then wearing the same dress every day isn't practical. Even a queen needs clean clothes."
Erza's eyes narrowed.
"And how exactly do you intend to solve this problem?" she asked. "Will you weave garments yourself?"
Yuuta shook his head.
"No, my Queen. I would probably create something closer to a sack if I tried."
Elena giggled against his leg.
Yuuta ignored the betrayal from his own daughter and slowly extended one hand toward Erza.
"May I have the phone?"
Erza looked at his open hand before raising her gaze back to his face.
"Why?"
"Because I can buy clothes for Your Majesty and Elena online."
Erza stared at him.
Yuuta waited.
"Buy clothes," she repeated.
"Yes, my Queen."
"Through this device."
"Through the internet, technically."
"With money."
Yuuta nodded. "That is generally how buying things works, yes."
Erza looked down at the phone in her hands. She turned it slightly, studying the device as though Yuuta had just informed her that it could manufacture clothing by itself.
Then she looked back at him.
"You would spend your resources on us?"
The question made Yuuta pause.
There was no accusation behind it this time. Erza seemed genuinely confused by the idea.
Yuuta nodded.
"Your Highness needs clothes. Elena needs clothes. I have enough money to buy them. It isn't complicated."
"But I am going to kill you."
She said it so calmly that Yuuta almost wanted to laugh at how ridiculous his life had become. There was no threat in her voice because, to Erza, it wasn't a threat. She was simply reminding him of something they both already knew.
Yuuta's hand remained extended.
"Yes, my Queen. In a year. I remember."
"Then why?"
That question was different.
Yuuta looked at Erza for a moment, and this time he didn't immediately have an answer. It would have been easy to say that he was doing it because Elena needed her mother. That was certainly part of it, but he knew it wasn't the entire reason.
"I don't know," he admitted. "Maybe because Elena needs Your Highness to be comfortable while you're here. She's small, but she notices more than people think. If you're miserable every day, she'll notice."
Yuuta glanced down.
Elena was looking up at him quietly.
"And..." He paused before continuing. "Your Highness is stuck here whether either of us likes the situation or not. I know what it feels like to be trapped somewhere you don't want to be. I wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone."
Erza didn't interrupt him.
Yuuta looked back at her.
"Maybe it's also because you're here now. You're sitting in my apartment, using my phone and apparently preparing to judge every animal on Earth." A faint smile appeared on his face. "I can't watch Your Highness wear the same dress for an entire year when I can easily do something about it. That just isn't who I am."
Erza remained quiet.
Yuuta wasn't sure what she was thinking. She simply watched him, her violet eyes fixed on his face while Elena continued clinging to his leg.
Eventually, Erza moved.
She placed the phone into his waiting palm.
Her fingers carefully avoided his.
Yuuta accepted it without commenting on that detail.
"Thank you, my Queen."
Erza turned toward the window instead of answering him.
The afternoon sunlight had begun changing into the softer gold of early evening, and for several seconds, none of them spoke.
"Papa."
Yuuta looked down.
Elena was still hugging his leg.
He gently rubbed the top of her head before looking at the phone in his hand and then toward Erza.
One year.
He still had one year.
Maybe somewhere inside that year, he would eventually figure out what he was actually doing.
"Okay."
A short while later, Yuuta sat on the sofa with his phone in hand. Elena immediately climbed up beside him and pressed herself against his side, gripping his sleeve as she tried to see the screen.
Erza, however, remained standing.
Yuuta looked at the empty space on the other side of the sofa.
Then he looked at her.
Erza understood.
Her expression immediately suggested that she considered sitting beside him an unnecessary challenge to her dignity. Still, after several seconds of consideration, she finally sat on the farthest possible edge of the sofa.
Yuuta glanced at the enormous gap between them.
Elena could probably have placed half her toys there.
He wisely said nothing.
Instead, Yuuta unlocked the phone and opened the shopping application. It took several seconds to load before rows of clothing appeared across the screen.
He tilted the phone so both of them could see.
"See? This is how most people buy clothes here now. You choose what you like, select the correct size, pay for it, and then someone delivers it."
Erza leaned forward slightly.
Her eyes narrowed as she examined the screen.
"These are paintings."
Yuuta looked at her.
"What?"
"Illustrations of garments," Erza clarified. "What purpose does showing me an illustration serve?"
"They're photographs, Your Majesty. They're pictures of the actual clothes."
Erza frowned.
"Then where are the clothes?"
Yuuta stared at her for a second before realizing she was completely serious.
"They're in a warehouse somewhere."
"Then how am I expected to inspect them?"
"You don't."
Her eyes slowly moved toward him.
Yuuta immediately realized that answer had not helped.
Erza pointed toward the screen. "How can I determine the quality of the fabric from an image? How can I examine the stitching? How can I test whether the material is durable enough for regular use?"
Yuuta scratched the back of his neck.
"That is actually a fair question."
"Of course it is."
"But this is just how online shopping works. You look at the pictures, read the description, and check the reviews."
Erza's attention returned to the phone.
"Reviews?"
"Comments from people who already bought the item. They tell you whether the fabric is good, whether the size is correct, whether it looks like the picture, things like that."
Erza considered this.
"You rely upon the testimony of strangers to determine the quality of clothing?"
"When Your Highness says it like that, it sounds much worse."
"Is my description inaccurate?"
Yuuta thought about it.
"No."
Erza gave him a look that suggested Earth's entire commercial system had just lost whatever limited respect she might have had for it.
Before she could continue interrogating him, Elena suddenly leaned across Yuuta and pointed excitedly at the screen.
"Papa! That one!"
Yuuta looked at the dress she had chosen.
It was pink.
Very pink.
More importantly, almost every visible part of it was covered in sequins. Even through the phone screen, it glittered aggressively enough that Yuuta wondered whether staring at it for too long might damage his eyes.
"The pink one with the shiny things!" Elena announced.
Yuuta looked from the dress to his daughter.
"That is... extremely sparkly."
"Elena wants it!"
"Of course Elena does."
"And that one!"
Her finger immediately moved to another dress.
"And that one!"
Yuuta laughed softly. "Little one, you cannot buy the entire store."
Elena looked at him.
Her expression became extremely serious.
"Why?"
Yuuta had no answer prepared for that.
Beside them, Erza watched quietly while Yuuta attempted to explain basic financial responsibility to a five-year-old dragon girl who clearly believed money existed specifically to purchase sparkly dresses.
Eventually, Yuuta surrendered.
"Fine. We can choose a few."
"Yay!"
Elena wrapped herself around his arm before returning her attention to the screen.
Yuuta continued scrolling slowly through the children's section so she could inspect everything. Elena reacted to every dress as though each one required an immediate royal judgment. Some received excited gasps, some received an enthusiastic "YES!", and anything that lacked sufficient sparkle was dismissed almost immediately.
Erza barely looked at the clothes anymore.
Her attention had shifted toward Yuuta.
She watched the way he held the phone lower so Elena could see properly, the patience with which he listened to every opinion she had, and the small smile that appeared whenever Elena became excited over something completely ordinary.
Yuuta never noticed.
After several minutes, and after enough sparkly dresses had entered the cart to make Yuuta reconsider his decision to introduce Elena to online shopping, he finally turned toward Erza.
"Your Majesty."
Erza's attention immediately returned to the screen.
"It's your turn."
"My turn?"
"For clothes." Yuuta began scrolling through the women's section. "What kind of clothing does Your Highness normally prefer? Aside from imperial clothing, I mean."
Erza considered the question seriously.
"Silk. Velvet when appropriate. Materials suitable for my position. I prefer crimson, violet, midnight blue, and occasionally white. Nothing excessively decorated, and nothing made from fabric so thin that a single pull could damage it."
Yuuta nodded while searching.
"Elegant. Dark or rich colors. Good material."
"Naturally."
Yuuta continued scrolling before another problem occurred to him.
He slowed down.
His eyes moved toward Erza for half a second before returning to the phone.
There was no way around it.
"My Queen..."
"What?"
"I'll need Your Majesty's measurements."
Erza became completely still.
Yuuta noticed.
He immediately wished he had phrased that differently.
"Measurements?" she repeated.
"For the size," Yuuta explained quickly. "Height, waist, chest. Different clothes use different measurements, so I need to know the correct size before ordering anything."
Erza said nothing.
Yuuta could practically feel the atmosphere changing beside him.
He kept his attention firmly on the phone.
"We can start with Elena," he continued, hoping to move past the problem before it became one. "She's small, so her size should probably be...."
Yuuta never finished.
Something struck the side of his head.
One second he was sitting on the sofa beside Elena.
The next, he was on the floor.
"OW!"
Yuuta grabbed his head as pain spread through the side of his skull. His phone had escaped his hand during the impact, bounced against the coffee table, and disappeared beneath the television stand.
For several seconds, Yuuta simply remained there.
Then he slowly looked up.
Erza was standing over him.
Her fist remained clenched while a thin layer of frost covered her fingers. Her cheeks carried the faintest trace of red, but her violet eyes were filled with enough anger that Yuuta immediately decided mentioning the blush would probably shorten his remaining year considerably.
"You perverted human."
Yuuta stared at her.
"What?!"
"How dare you ask a queen for such personal information?"
"My Queen, I..."
"Do you believe I am some common woman you may casually question about her body?" Erza demanded. "You expect me to simply tell you my chest and waist measurements while you sit there recording them?"
"THAT ISN'T WHY I ASKED!"
Elena sat frozen on the sofa.
Her eyes moved between her mother and her father while Yuuta struggled onto his knees, one hand still pressed against the rapidly developing bump on his head.
"Then explain," Erza ordered.
Yuuta took a breath.
He reminded himself that shouting at the Dragon Queen would accomplish absolutely nothing.
"I need the measurements because the website needs them," he said. "Clothes come in different sizes. If I choose something too small, Your Highness won't be able to wear it. If I choose something too large, it won't fit properly either."
He pointed toward the phone beneath the television stand.
"That's all. I wasn't asking because I wanted to know anything about Your Majesty's body. I was trying to make sure I didn't spend money on a dress that doesn't fit."
Erza stared at him.
Yuuta stared back.
Several seconds passed.
Then some of the anger disappeared from her eyes.
"...Oh."
Yuuta's eyebrow twitched.
"Yes, my Queen. Oh."
He rubbed the side of his head again and winced.
"I was trying to buy Your Highness clothes. I wasn't attempting to do anything perverted."
Erza looked away.
Yuuta could tell she understood now.
Unfortunately, understanding and apologizing appeared to be two completely different things where Erza was concerned.
Before either of them could continue, Elena climbed down from the sofa.
She walked toward her mother and tugged gently on Erza's dress.
"Mama."
Erza looked down.
Elena pointed toward Yuuta.
"Mama hit Papa."
A brief silence followed.
"Yes," Erza said. "I did."
"Mama should not hit Papa."
Erza's eyes narrowed slightly. "Mama had a reason."
Elena shook her head.
"Mama did not have a reason. Papa was talking about dresses."
Yuuta slowly lowered his hand from his head.
For once, someone in this apartment was defending him.
Erza looked at Elena, apparently searching for a way to explain why striking Yuuta across the room had been a perfectly reasonable response.
Elena didn't give her the opportunity.
"Mama needs to say sorry."
Erza's eye twitched.
"Elena..."
"Mama needs to say sorry to Papa."
Yuuta almost smiled.
Almost.
He valued his life enough to keep his expression neutral.
Erza looked from her daughter to Yuuta. Yuuta was still kneeling on the floor with a growing bump on his head, and although he tried not to look smug about Elena taking his side, he suspected he wasn't succeeding completely.
Erza's jaw tightened.
"...Tch."
She turned her face away.
"You should have explained yourself properly from the beginning. Your poor choice of words created the misunderstanding."
Yuuta's mouth fell open.
"My poor choice of words?! Your Highness hit me!"
"Because you suddenly asked for intimate measurements!"
"FOR CLOTHES!"
"I understand that now!"
"Then how is this still my fault?!"
Erza didn't answer.
Instead, she folded her arms and looked toward the hallway.
"Do you possess a measuring tool?"
Yuuta stared at her.
"What?"
"A tool for taking measurements," she said impatiently. "I will obtain the numbers myself."
"Oh."
"And you will not assist me."
"I wasn't planning to."
"You will not look."
"I wasn't planning to do that either."
"You will preferably not remain anywhere near the room."
Yuuta slowly climbed back to his feet. The apartment shifted slightly around him for a moment, forcing him to steady himself against the sofa.
"There's a measuring tape in the bathroom drawer. White tape. Black numbers."
"Retrieve it."
Yuuta sighed.
"Yes, my Queen."
"Leave it outside the door."
"Fine."
"Then go to the kitchen."
Yuuta stopped.
He looked at her.
"My Queen, this is my apartment."
Erza met his gaze.
"Kitchen."
Yuuta remained silent for several seconds.
Then he turned toward the bathroom.
"Yes, my Queen."
As he walked away, Elena hurried after him for a few steps before stopping and looking at the side of his head.
"Papa has a big bump."
Yuuta closed his eyes.
Thank you, Elena.
He was aware.
Behind him, Erza answered reluctantly.
"Yes. He does."
"Papa needs ice."
Erza didn't respond immediately.
Yuuta continued walking while waiting to hear what she would say.
"...Perhaps."
Elena looked at her expectantly.
"But Mama will not be getting it."
"Elena will!"
Yuuta glanced over his shoulder.
His daughter raised both hands proudly.
"Elena is helpful!"
For the first time since punching him, some of the tension disappeared from Erza's expression.
"Yes," she said quietly. "You are."
Yuuta turned forward again and continued toward the bathroom.
He had asked Erza for one year.
One year with Elena.
One year to understand his daughter, spend time with her, and somehow make sense of the impossible situation his life had become.
He had known living beneath the same roof as the Dragon Queen would be difficult. He had expected threats, arguments, awkward silences, and probably more than a few moments where he questioned every decision that had brought him here.
He just hadn't expected buying clothes to become dangerous.
Yuuta rubbed the painful bump on his head and sighed as he disappeared into the hallway.
At this rate, surviving the year might have less to do with Erza eventually killing him and considerably more to do with surviving everything that happened before then.