"Man, I'm bored as hell."
As he surfs the internet, he gets a message that says, 'If you could have two Jojo stands, what would they be?'
"Hmm, who sent me this must be a Reddit message, but it depends," he typed back
'depends on what.'
"On if I use them for fighting or my favorite ones."
'Well, which ones would you use to fight?'
"I'd probably pick tusk and crazy diamond, tusk because it's pretty overpowered, and then if I could use crazy diamond to heal myself, I wouldn't need to wait for my nails to grow back."
'Wow, that is pretty overpowered.'
"Right, but that's only if I could have a modified crazy diamond since Josuke can't heal himself."
'So what are your two favorites?'
"Soft & Wet and Pearl Jam"
'That's... an interesting duo.'
"Hey man, dont judge beside, I like Soft & Wet because I like bubbles, and Pearl Jam because I like food and cooking."
'That's fair, but still, which two would you choose?'
"Probably Soft & Wet and Pearl Jam because dont forget about Soft & Wet's abilities, so I'd still be relatively well off when it comes to combat."
'Nice, okay, then have fun.'
"Wait, what do you mean, have fun?"
Then all of a sudden, his monitor gives off a blinding light
"OH what the FUCK!"
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He then wakes up in a room
"Oh No no no NOOOOOOOOO"
ONE WEEK LATER~
"Okay, after that small mental breakdown, I quickly figured out where I was, and it was not good. After seeing the news that showed the goddamn Justice League, I realised I was in the FUCKING! DC UNIVERSE!
Luckily, the ROB left a letter stating he had already made arrangements for me, see I'd be happier about that if I weren't in the GODDAMN DC UNIVERSE!, and another thing fuck that ROB that muthafucker named me JOQUIN JOESTAR! and I'm not talking WA-keen no no no he had to make sure it was pronounced JO-KIN this son of a bitch made my name a literally fucking Joke with extra steps god that name makes me sound like the joker and harleys kid."
"But I guess it's not all terrible, I have my stands, aka Soft & Wet and Pearl Jam, but my stands aren't carbon copies of the originals, they're, my own verison of them for instance, Soft & Wet it looks mostly the same white and purple but instead of an anchor on the chest its a like a record player and it even has a fucking disc collection on its back and can swap them out which i love since now Soft & Wet can freaking play background music, heck even the 'bubbles' it produces can play music which is pretty freaking cool, but thats not the best part unlike when Josukes bubbles pop and take something they usually return after a while, I on the other hand can keep them in the form of disc kinda like whitesnake and even use them for later in battle or something else, so yeah my Soft & Wet is even more OP then the original"
"Then there's Pearl Jam while tonios looks like a cross between a tomato and a pearl onion mine looks like a cross between a meatball and a piece of broccoli on top, and while his can only enhance the medicinal properties of food, yeah mine, mine is OP cause it can do so much more for instance i can combine food to make new ingredients like im talking Toriko types of food as long as i got the ingredients i need i can fuse them to make new ones, like i don't even need to use actual food i can just grab a brick and then they'll make food bricks or some shit its fucking awesome and another thing my Pearl Jams also act as little helpers for me when i cook, but the best part is my pearl jams act as a mini FUCKING food dimension, so i ligit cannot run outta food heck i can even go in them, pearl jam acts as it own ecosystem for the ingredients its consumed and fuses them constantly making new ingredients"
"Now then, onto other things, which is location turns out I now live in Central City, not too bad, but not too good, the good being I live in the Flash's city, meaning shit gets done fast, the bad news being, depending on which universe I'm in, the same city as BARRY FUCKS WITH THE TIMELINE ALLEN!"
RING RING
"Who the fuck is calling me? Better yet, how do they even have my number? I don't even know my own number..."
He answers the phone
"New phone who dis?"
'I see you finally got yourself settled for the most part, glad you like my accommodations.'
"YOU SON OF BITCH! DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU SENT ME! IM IN THE GODDAMN DC UNIVERSE!"
'Whoa, sensing some hostility there, bud, think what you meant to say is thank you.'
"Why would I thank you? You sent me to the DC universe with no heads up, man, and while I'm glad I got my stands, I'm pretty sure I would've preferred some place less stressful, like the Archer world or freaking Pokémon, HELL! I would've even preferred MY LITTLE PONY! OVER THIS PLACE!"
'Geez your way less enthusiastic than my last guys.'
"HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU FUCKED OVER!"
'Hey, those guys were pretty alright with where I sent them. Then again i did do the basic type with the first guy, aka some wishes and whatnot.'
"And where did they get sent, huh?"
'well my first guy wanted to get sent to How To Train Your Dragon, and after him i just decided to send them to anyplace there kinda knowledgable about and them spin the wheel on their abilites like for instance the second guy I selected i sent to the Monster Hunter universe as an Espinas with a system, and the third guy I sent him to One Piece with all the abilities of Godzilla, so you see, you're not that bad off.'
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"FUCK YOU!!"
'whadya mean, I aleast gave you some choice in your power, even gave 'em an upgrade?'
"Yeah, but unlike their worlds, they don't have to deal with planet busters, gods, interdimensional bullshit, multiverse, and fucking time fuckery! and even with SOFT & WET GO BEYOND I might still be fucked."
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'Okay, yeah, I see your point now.'
"OH, oh, do you now."
'look kid, I can do much else since you're already locked in, but I can give you this.'
"Give me what? The heck is that!?"
In front of him is a glowing card
"the fuck is that thing?"
'It's a character card in essence, once you absorb it, you'll get a certain character's skills and abilities, anyways I gotta go important stuff and all that byyyyeeee.'
"motherfucker hung up on me, whatever this better be something good."
He then grabs the card and crushes it
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"OH, your shiting me, you know what, I'm okay with this im fine with it, this is actually pretty good for what I was planning, fucking got Komatsu of all people, one of the reliable short kings."