(Arisha POV)
"Darim! The food is ready!" I called while placing the plate on the table. My voice didn't shake. I made sure of that.
I heard him running toward the kitchen. "Don't run when you come in here, I already told you! You're going to get hurt!" I told him off.
He realized it immediately, lowered his head "Sorry."
I sighed. He was a child who could never stay still. I pinched his cheek gently. "I forgive you, but don't forget next time" I said with a small smile.
He looked up at me, the guilt already gone from his face, and smiled again, nodding.
It always passed quickly.
This kid, I swear… he looks more and more like his father every day.
The sadness hit me all at once. I had to swallow before I could breathe properly.
It still didn't feel real. He was gone, and there would be no seeing him again. I hadn't told Darim yet. He was used to his father being away for a while, used to waiting while he went on missions. But sooner or later, he would start asking questions.
I sighed and handed Darim a cup of water so he could drink while he ate.
Darim grabbed his little clay ox. "Mom, isn't that sir coming again? I like him!" he said. "He reminds me of papa"
My hand trembled, the cup nearly slipping from my fingers. Darim said it so easily, he had no idea what those words did to me.
I tightened my grip on the cup until my fingers stopped shaking. I smiled, because that was easier than letting him see anything else.
"I don't know… if he wants to come someday, he will" I replied with a smile.
Then I sat down to eat with him.
I watched him eat, his legs swinging under the table, the ox held tight in his hand. I focused on those small, ordinary things. The ones that felt safe.
But Ereshgal's face still came back to me. It always did now. Not because I wanted it to, but because my mind kept drifting there on its own.
That alone made me feel guilty. It hadn't been long—he'd been gone only weeks—and already another man was slipping into my thoughts. And yet…
It was strange... I saw him in Ereshgal. In the way he looked at us. In the way he treated us. He had even brought the toy he once promised Darim.
It didn't make sense, It shouldn't have.
I didn't know what to think. But it had happened both times I'd seen him, and that was what made it unsettling.
At first, I told myself he must have known us through my husband, one of Akhem's companions I'd never met. It was the only explanation that made sense. I told myself I was tired. That being alone did that to you.
It was strange… and even though I tried to ignore it at first, I couldn't. Because, how many people in the world had golden eyes and were named Ereshgal?
The unchosen prince. The heir of Uruk who supposedly died five years ago. His death had shaken the city. People whispered that the gods had turned their backs on the king, that losing his heir was proof of it.
I had never seen him before, so I couldn't be completely sure.
But what were the chances?
And yet… it didn't matter.
I felt close to him. As if he were Akhem.
That was the part that frightened me.
Not because I thought Ereshgal was dangerous—though I didn't know enough to be sure—but because the feeling was too familiar. As if my heart was grasping at anything that reminded me of him.
Even though since that day… I hadn't seen him again.
"Mom, aren't you going to eat?" Darim's voice pulled me back.
I blinked, my gaze dropping to the food and the spoon in my hand. I hadn't touched it at all.
"Of course, sweetheart. I just got distracted." Leaning down, I kissed his forehead. "Thank you for taking care of mommy."
"Hehehe" Darim giggled.
That giggle, was the only thing that kept me standing sometimes. The only thing that made the days move forward.
We finished eating, and I picked up the plates to clean them.
I cleaned without really thinking about it. The soft sounds of dishes, my hands moving through motions I'd done a thousand times. Keeping busy helped. It kept my thoughts from drifting too far.
"Sweetheart, this afternoon I'm going to the market. Grandma will come in a bit to stay with you" I told him.
"I wanna go!" Darim said loudly.
Of course he did.
"It's better if you don't, sweetheart. It's to keep you safe" I said gently.
Since the incident, I'd decided to go alone.
Even though I'd heard bad things about the eyes of shamash before, nothing had ever really happened… until that day.
"But… but… but… I haven't gone in a long time!" he protested, almost crying.
"No, it's to keep you safe" I repeated softly. I hated having to say no to him so often lately.
"I promise I'll behave really, really well… pleeease?" He looked at me with eyes impossible to refuse.
I sighed. Well… nothing bad had happened these past days. Maybe it was time to let him come again. Maybe I was keeping him locked inside because I couldn't bear the thought of losing him too.
"Alright, but you listen to everything I say and stay right next to me, okay?" I said seriously.
"Yeees, yay!" he cheered.
I laughed, hugged him, and kissed his chubby cheeks. "But you have to listen to mommy, alright?"
"Mhm!" he nodded vigorously.
A few hours later, we were about to head to the market when my mother arrived.
"So you're taking him after all, Arisha?" she asked.
Her voice was careful.
"Yes, mother. At some point he has to go out again" I replied as Darim grabbed his little basket to help carry things.
He held it carefully, making a serious face, like this was the most important task in the world.
"Well then, come back soon" she said.
I nodded, took my own basket, and we left hand in hand.
Soon we were walking through the market, buying fruits and vegetables for the next few days.
The market was the same as always.
But my body moved differently now. My eyes lingered a little longer. Without meaning to, I stayed aware of my surroundings.
I only bought meat if we were going to eat it the same day, otherwise dried or smoked meat was better. Just like I'd told him, Darim behaved well and stayed close to me, his basket already full of vegetables.
Every time he drifted a little too far, my hand would tighten around his.
We had almost everything we needed.
Should I buy meat too?
Just then, we passed by a smoked meat stall.
"Good afternoon, miss! You can't miss our smoked meat!" a bearded man called out, waving his hands covered in rings, clearly eager to sell.
I frowned slightly.
Why did a meat seller wear so many rings? I couldn't help noticing things like that anymore. Akhem always had. The way someone's eyes moved before their hands did.
Suddenly, my hand felt light. Something in my chest tightened before I even looked.
I turned around. "Dar—"
My words caught in my throat.
He wasn't there.
Where is he?
The world narrowed so quickly it felt like someone had pulled a rope tight around my chest.
The basket in my hand suddenly felt too heavy. The noise of the market suddenly sounded too far away.
"DARIM!"