Chapter 31: Ishio's Hero
The god-slayers in the bathhouse finally began to talk up their myths.
"Your friend should be either an Indian or a Chinese," Hikigaya didn't spend much time pondering the so-called 'other person' mentioned by Voban.
Although in the future he would regret missing such important information, at this moment his mind was full of his recent learning.
To be honest, he had long wanted someone to chat with.
"Before monkeys became monkeys, they should have evolved from some kind of primitive totem," Hikigaya recalled his recent studies.
The more he thought about it, the more he believed doing things hands-on was the right approach. Compared to what the committee gave him, he was more interested in this line of reasoning.
"Totem? Like those big pillars, and people dance naked around them?" Voban seemed to stretch his imagination, but his expression proved to the other two that he definitely hadn't pictured anything good.
Maybe it's still some raw, uncooked story.
"Although I don't know what you're thinking, a totem doesn't necessarily mean a pillar," Hikigaya gestured with his hand. "You can also borrow things directly from nature, like stones."
"Stones?"
"Yes, that's why there's the divine power of being 'indestructible'—a very powerful force."
Hikigaya shook his head.
Before this, he wouldn't have associated monkeys with such divinity at all.
Worshipping sacred stones and souls were things from ancient times.
If he hadn't recently read so many targeted books, how could he have linked the Great Sage Equal to Heaven (Sun Wukong) with the culture of the Stone-Born People of the Huai River basin and the production system of the chieftains?
The latter was even more hidden than the former, and that was how he concluded why the monkey subdued the dragon snakes.
This isn't "steel" at all.
Even Chiyou's bronze head and iron arms came much later—and only served to emphasize the monkey's rebellious aspect…
"My subordinate said He is a 'steel' hero, just like the guy I want to defeat. High temperatures work well on them," Doni interrupted. He seemed very concerned about this.
"A matter of perspective. I think He is a deity born from sacred stones, and this divinity should have been preserved continuously."
Hikigaya shook his head and shared his understanding.
"In such a culture, stones can give birth to life; they are symbols and embodiments of mysterious reproductive power.
Those born from stones possess qualities and abilities different from ordinary people—either accomplishing great feats or making special contributions. These are the so-called imperial heroes."
"Wow, sounds so strong."
"Of course. In Chinese mythology, Yu and Qi are stone-born heroes, and the monkey was also born from sacred stones.
He has a body of adamantine invulnerability, tenacious life force, and infinitely variable life forms. This is different from 'steel.' I think high temperatures won't have much effect on this kind of divinity."
To strengthen his point, Hikigaya casually gave an example next.
"In the myth, this monkey was trapped under a mountain for five hundred years.
Actually, that wasn't escaping; it was resurrecting by relying on the earth.
Flames can't destroy the life force of the earth."
Of course, this conclusion assumes no mention of astronomy, no crazy solar flares before the death of the sun god—if that happens, just pretend he didn't say the previous sentence…
Also…
Old man, can you stop drinking all the bottles? Where do you put all those cups?
"I think I get what you mean, so you mean a nature god, right?" Voban, who had just finished drinking another bottle, destroyed it again, then faced Hikigaya's critical gaze without a hint of embarrassment, full of confidence said, "This kind of god is the most fun to fight—just go head-on."
That sentence was really persuasive, and Hikigaya had to give a thumbs-up.
Though it couldn't hide the fact this grandpa was a bottle-destroying maniac.
"But it's still a stone, right?" Voban continued asking, "You haven't said how it became a monkey?"
But this time, Hikigaya didn't cooperate.
"That's a long story, I'm too tired, won't say it." He lazily sank into the water.
"Hey, hey, say more! Sounds so interesting," Doni shouted, mischievously stirring the hot spring water with his sword, earning a glare from Hikigaya.
But upon this glare, Hikigaya noticed someone seemingly unaffected by his previous power was entering through the main door.
The Book of Songs says: "Hands like soft reed shoots, skin like congealed fat, neck like a scarab beetle, teeth like bottle gourds, forehead and brows like moths, delicate smile and lovely eyes."
Removing the metaphor about the smile, the rest was a very fitting description for the woman walking in.
There was no trace of the normal reactions three grown men should have when a woman entered their bath.
She immediately performed a rising dragon.
It was a very violent scene.
The whole pool of hot spring water was swept out by her sleeve, then controlled by some force to crawl along the walls of the bathhouse, leaving only three men of different ages standing at the pool's bottom, their white towels flashing glaringly around their waists.
"Brother, is this your demeanor?" The martial arts queen with a graceful figure and unparalleled beauty looked angrily at Hikigaya and the two old acquaintances, her beautiful eyes full of wrath. "To meet with these two? You actually disregarded my Luo Hao's request?"
How did she find them?
Hikigaya felt his curiosity about to burst his heart.
Come to think of it, why was this Chinese god-slayer so obsessed with him? It didn't seem like hatred or obligation.
How did this plot come about?
Did she just like making people go learn rising dragon strikes with her?
But honestly, what he wanted to learn was the Meteor Fist.
Rising dragon strike martial arts always blew his clothes off before hitting anyone, and he had to rely on a single pair of underwear for the entire fight.
Hikigaya did not want to learn such embarrassing martial arts at all.
But before he could voice his opinions and doubts, the two next to him started mocking.
"Oh, Sister Leader, you're so bold," Doni pulled his sword halfway out, "Coming in so warmly, it's hard for me."
But he didn't seem hard at all; he looked very happy.
But... could he please put on pants first? The towel was about to fall!
"Hmph, you're still so rude." Voban's eerie voice echoed through the sparkling water room.
Under the water's shimmering light, his demon eye was even more chilling than usual. "Since you barged in, I must return the favor. You should go back to your place."
SHUT UP! You too! Go put on pants!
Hikigaya tightened his towel, determined not to let it fall no matter what.
Who's a hero barging in while someone's bathing? Have the guts to do it on a bed!