Chapter 327: Allen's One-Man Battle Against the Heroes
The Martian Manhunter was now charred both inside and out—though thankfully not fatally injured, he was effectively out of the fight.
Truly despicable. He targeted his opponent's weakness to win.
"Can you at least let Aunt May go first?"
Spider-Man, Peter, stepped forward pleadingly, clearly very worried for his only remaining family member.
"Sure."
Allen rummaged through a metal box and casually tossed over a set of dentures, shrugging. "Sorry—this is all that's left of Aunt May."
"Aunt May!?"
Peter stared at the dentures in disbelief. Sorrow surged in his chest, just as he was about to break down in grief—when he suddenly remembered: Aunt May never wore dentures.
Pop!
Too late.
The dentures suddenly latched onto Peter's mouth like they were glued on. No matter how hard he tugged, he couldn't pull them off.
"Old lady's sauerkraut dentures. Kid, enjoy," Allen said proudly.
No doubt about it—another absolutely insane hidden weapon.
And the effect was downright malicious.
From the sheer agony on Peter's face, you could tell this was something he'd never forget for the rest of his life.
Allen elaborated with a showy grin, "This gadget is called Granny Gisi's Dentures. Once it latches onto your mouth, it continuously emits the sour stench of an old lady's breath. So tell me—are you scared yet?"
"..."
That's evil!
Just the thought of it was nauseating.
They'd rather go toe-to-toe with a fierce enemy for three hundred rounds than ever suffer something like this. That kind of trauma lasts a lifetime.
"Allen, that's enough."
Tony said sternly, "He's just a kid. How could you do that to him?"
Boom!
He raised a palm and fired a repulsor blast—but at Dr. Banner.
Everyone stared in disbelief. Why was Iron Man attacking an ally?
Plus, Hulk was an unpredictable force. Compared to Allen, he seemed far more terrifying.
"Watch out for the Hulk, little nephew."
Allen warned with a smirk, then turned his attention away from Tony, who was clearly in trouble.
RRAAAGHH—!
With an earth-shaking roar, Banner's clothes burst apart as he transformed into the Hulk. He turned to glare at Tony with pure, unfiltered rage in his eyes.
"Hulk, I can't control my suit—it's Allen! He did something to it!"
Sure enough, Unita had already hacked into the Iron Man suit and taken over control.
No matter what Tony said, Hulk wasn't buying it.
Unless Allen admitted it himself, Tony's protests were meaningless.
Iron Man took to the sky to evade. Hulk leapt after him in pursuit.
At the same time, Tony remotely summoned the Hulkbuster armor stored in a silent orbit. The regular suit alone would be torn apart like tissue paper.
"Justice League and Avengers—so much for your reputations."
Allen stood arrogantly, hands on his hips. "Four heroes down without breaking a sweat. Time to admit I'm the handsomest villain on Earth."
Click!
Wearing a trench coat and sporting stubble, Constantine lit a cigarette. "How about a duel in the magical arts, fair and square?"
Pfft.
Allen laughed so hard he nearly choked, then instantly went serious. "You sure you want to challenge a former Sorcerer Supreme?"
"Absolutely."
Constantine formed a sigil with his hands and began chanting an obscure incantation.
Known for his cunning and magic, Constantine realized there was no time to play around—he went straight to forbidden techniques to win this battle.
Hiss…
The cigarette dropped from his mouth.
His lips suddenly burned like fire.
Hiss…
Unwilling to quit, Constantine tried to finish the spell, but the slightest movement of his lips caused searing pain—and his gums began aching too.
"Guess what? I'm the last person a spell-slinging hedge wizard should mess with."
Allen grinned brilliantly. He had secretly cast a combo curse: Oral Ulcer with Wisdom Tooth Proliferation. A biological gag spell.
Even as the pain twisted his face and drool poured freely, Constantine stubbornly refused to give up, hell-bent on finishing his spell.
Pop!
A flying Big Dildo Dart smacked him straight in the mouth.
It forcibly cut off the incantation.
Allen's Sacred Rod cranked to max power.
The universally disliked Constantine collapsed, howling and rolling on the ground—the constant vibration stimulated his ulcers mercilessly. Anyone would crack under that.
And just like that, another hero down.
However, Allen now stood trembling. He frantically pulled out more and more Big Dildo Darts from his pockets.
Staring at the pile of squirming silicone rods on the floor, everyone's brows furrowed.
What the hell are you planning with that stash?
Allen put on an apologetic face. "Sorry you had to see such a shameful side of me."
And shameful it was.
What kind of villain carries around this many temporary boyfriends?
Most of the heroes didn't want to make a move. They knew full well that going one-on-one meant guaranteed defeat. Only if the heavy-hitters worked together did they stand a chance.
Superman, Thor, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, Doctor Strange, Scarlet Witch—these might do.
As for the likes of Green Arrow, Hawkeye, Black Panther, Batman... they were just hoping for a team beatdown.
Let's face it—even second-tier heroes couldn't withstand one of Allen's troll spells.
"I'll take you on."
Thor's eyes crackled with lightning. He had long wanted to confront the guy who kept lifting his hammer.
"Worshipful Master of the Moon Sect, I think I'll borrow your hammer for this duel."
Allen raised his hand—and Thor's hammer flew right into it.
Not only did Thor freeze in place, every other hero around them stared in stunned silence.
It felt like watching a man get cuckolded—his beloved weapon eagerly leapt into another man's arms.
"Why…?"
Thud.
Thor collapsed to his knees, eyes lifeless, like a heartbroken lover who'd lost all will to live.
Everyone else shared the same question.
Allen didn't seem remotely worthy of the hammer's moral criteria. Just look at his filthy arsenal—he was a walking pile of bad karma.
A noble soul doesn't use giant dildos as throwing knives.
"Why…?"
Thor's voice cracked as tears welled up.
In truth, Allen didn't possess a noble spirit at all. Back in a previous timeline, he had once affixed a Power Stone to the hammer.
Everyone knew Mjolnir had a will of its own. It wanted to improve, to evolve.
And hey—given a choice between driving a moped or a Ferrari, who wouldn't choose the Ferrari?
Well, Allen might, because he doesn't have a license.
"Master, don't cry."
Allen comforted him gently. "Fine, I won't lift your hammer anymore."
He handed the hammer back.
Thor wiped a tear and took it resentfully. "I'm never coming back to Earth."
Raising Mjolnir, the Bifrost struck down at Thor's location—instantly returning him to Asgard.
Another one, gone in a huff.
"Take care! Come back anytime," Allen waved cheerfully. Then stroked his chin. "Should I steal the hammer and make a replica to cheer him up?"
Stop right there!
You want Asgard to declare war on Earth!?
Mjolnir was the sacred weapon of the God of Thunder. Odin would never allow it to be stolen. If it were, war would be inevitable.
Thankfully, even Allen had limits. He wouldn't steal from people he knew personally.
Besides, given his connection to Hela, there were family ties involved—it could get messy.
Green Lantern Hal Jordan stepped forward to challenge.
Allen calmly reminded him, "I've got the Lantern Ring."
"I… forgot to recharge mine."
Hal sensibly backed down. He suddenly recalled a warning passed around the Green Lantern Corps: Avoid any lunatic who can consume the full emotional spectrum. He won't hurt you—but he'll make your life hell.
It clearly referred to Allen.
Hal resolved then and there to go to Oa and dig into Allen's cosmic background.
After all, this was about events nearly a thousand years ago in another timeline. There had to be some record.
It was a multiversal-level crisis. No civilized world would've failed to document it.
Normally, no one cares about ancient history—but if Allen's identity were ever exposed, it would shake the universe.
Even the three great cosmic empires and the Spartacus Empire would have to show Allen respect. Otherwise, they'd have already been wiped out by the Swarm.
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