Yun Qiang kneeled there, at the edge of the battlefield. His legs refused to work while the sixth captain slowly walked toward him.
In his desperation his clear mind started to become chaotic, he was already exhausted from the previous fights and could barely stay awake, let alone think clearly in such a dangerous situation.
Where are the reinforcements?
This question resounded in his head as he looked at the incoming executioner. His eyes burned with greed and an excited yet creepy smile was etched on his face. It was as if he had waited years just for one moment.
Another electric shock coursed through his body forcing him to fall on the ground. He glared at the man with rage. This shock was stronger than the ones before, there was no way it was a residual from the fist he had received at the start of the battle. The man was clearly playing with him before killing him.
As a second electric shock coursed through his body Yun Qiang felt his eyes going numb. His eyes started to lose focus on what was in front of him, letting him only see the distant battlefield behind his executioner. From afar he could barely distinguish his allies, something that wasn't helped by the darkening sky.
When did it become so dark? Where is the sun?
His thoughts drifted. When the battle began, the sun had just started to set behind the forest. Unless they had fought for hours already, there was no reason for the sky to be this dark. Driven by this thought, he raised his head toward the sky, expecting it to be filled with stars, but there was nothing, only dark clouds that covered the red shades of the dying sun.
The sun hadn't set yet. He had probably fought for just one or two hours.
Two hours..., I only lasted for two hours
Shame washed over him. Cultivators were supposed to be stronger and more resilient than normal humans, however he was on the ground after fighting for just a few hours, a well-trained mortal could have done better than him.
The executioner stopped a few steps away, savoring Yun Qiang's final moments.
Yun Qiang gave him one last look before shifting his gaze away from him, the rage he had felt a few moments ago had already waned, only resignation filled his eyes. For a moment he felt that the world was unjust. He had done everything he could to pursue his dream of becoming a cultivator, but no matter what he did nothing seemed to go his way. His low talent, Brook's death, Wuji's false accusation, and then being sent to the border where he was forced to risk his life for three long years. He felt as if Heaven itself was conspiring against him.
Resigned he gave one last look at the battlefield. Before closing his eyes and accepting his death he wanted to know how Sun was doing. He wanted to know if his friend had managed to survive till the end. However his vision failed him, everything had become a blur. The only thing that he could see were the corpses on the muddy ground. Allies and enemies alike lay there motionless, their bodies stained by their own blood or the blood of those they had killed.
So many corpses... so many of us died for nothing...
As he looked at the horrifying scene that was the battlefield he started feeling resentful. All of this seemed for nothing, they were just attacking a small scouting group. Was it necessary for them to die here, was it necessary to execute a complex tactic and take their enemies by surprise when they could have just overwhelmed them using numbers? In the end their deaths were for nothing, they didn't gain anything, it was just an unnamed battlefield that nobody would remember, just one of many nameless slaughterhouses that dotted the border of the Rose Kingdom.
We are nothing to them.
He was about to close his eyes when a shadow followed by the sound of soldiers marching moved before him attacking his carneficer. Reinforcements had arrived. Yun Qiang wanted to move out of the way of the fight between the two Foundation Realm cultivators but his body refused to move, he was too tired. His vision became blurrier and he felt his thoughts drift toward nothingness. There was nothing he could do anymore.
He lost consciousness.
A few days later...
Voss moved through the camp, his steps neither quick nor slow. His armor shined, looking almost new, and his walk wasn't as silent as usual. Wherever he went, his presence was announced by a steady metallic sound that instilled a sense of security in whoever heard it. It wasn't the usual clunking sound that a recruit made; it was the deliberate and rhythmic sound that only a well-trained soldier could produce. Marching at a steady pace was a simple trick, but an effective one: no matter how wounded you were, walk like that and others would see a respected veteran instead of a weakened man. Voss had learned this during his youth in the Hua Plains, where he'd been born.
Every soldier that met his gaze saluted him with respect; nobody knew he had spent hours cleaning his equipment and hiding his injuries before coming out of his tent. The morale of the army was already low; letting others see an injured officer would only bring it further down.
As he got closer to his destination, his face darkened; the area his subordinates had decided to use as their resting place had become unbearably silent after their recent failure.
What a mess....
Their recent assault had been their biggest failure yet. The fifty soldiers that were supposed to do a brief search around the area and then strike the enemy in the back had been intercepted and totally destroyed. The small regiment they were supposed to attack had an extra captain who was close to reaching the Golden Core Realm. If it wasn't for Lord Tang's timely rescue, nobody would have survived.
No matter how one looked at it, their operation was a complete and utter failure.
I have to get stronger; things will only go worse as the war goes on.
He tightened his grip around the spear. He had spent years stuck just one minor stage from the Golden Core Realm. However, every time he got close to buying the Golden Core Qi pill that he needed to break through, something unexpected happened that forced him to spend his contribution points.
The first time he got injured and needed some healing pills, the second was a fine he had to pay for breaking the rules, the third was to buy a new set of armor, and the fourth one...
Well, the fourth one was now.
He entered the tent in front of him. After the battle, what remained of his team had decided to start living in the same tent to better care for the wounded Lee and to act faster in case of a surprise attack.
The entire tent was a mess; used and new bandages were scattered across the floor, blood and mud stained the bedrolls, and used clothes were scattered all over the place. There, close to a small pile of bloodied bandages, Lee lay weakly; his pale face was now completely red, the unmistakable mark of a fever.
As his subordinates scrambled to salute him, he bent down to check Lee's condition. His body felt hot to the touch and was constantly sweating.
His injuries aren't closing. Is it because of his physique?
"Will he make it?" his voice sounded rough, almost threatening.
"No, unless he gets a healing pill or further treatment with medical herbs."
The one who spoke was Sun, his voice sounded serious however Voss could hear a hint of pleading in his tone. Voss checked Lee another time, making sure that his body was truly unable to survive, then took out a healing pill and forced the unconscious Lee to swallow it.
He moved in front of them.
"Keep an eye on him, when he wakes up don't let him move and make sure he eats a lot of food. Healing pills aren't omnipotent."
He paused for a second before adding,
"Why didn't you inform me about this?" his voice was laced with immense disappointment, he had hoped his subordinates would see him as someone they could trust and lean on for help. He hadn't expected them to not speak out about Lee's serious state.
"How did you guys plan to deal with him once he died? Dig him a grave or just let him rot inside this tent? Is this how you are caring for your teammates!"
He threw them two pills each.
"Take them, the green pill is a body-forming pill while the red one is a healing pill. Use the green one and keep the other one for emergencies."
He paused again, trying to calm the sudden rage in his heart. He looked at them again, the three of them were looking at the floor not daring to meet his gaze.
"You can rest for the day."
After saying this he stormed out of the tent, walking toward the edge of the camp while strangling his spear with all of his strength.
As he walked he didn't speak nor did he act differently from normal; only when he reached the forest close to their camp and was in an isolated place did he unleash his emotions, punching a tree with all of his strength, while letting out a small dry scream.
They don't trust me!
He threw another punch.
What did I do wrong! Why don't they trust me!
He stabbed the base of the tree with his spear. As bad memories started coming out from the depths of his mind, a few tears began staining his face.
Why? Why can't they survive? Where did I do wrong? Was it the training? The positioning?
A familiar figure approached him from the edge of his vision.
"Angry they didn't care about their teammates?"
Voss stopped striking the nearly shattered tree.
"They cared for him," he muttered, "their hands were stained with Lee's blood. They tried their best to heal him."
He let go of his spear, letting it roll on the ground. Voss stared down at the bark of the tree, his mind wandering to his past days as a normal soldier. However, the more he lost himself in his memories, the more he felt like he had lost his way. He fell to his knees, tears still coming out of his eyes.
Bian didn't say anything, letting him vent his emotions without interfering, neither giving comfort nor criticizing him.
After a few minutes, Voss recovered from his daze. His voice was filled with sadness and exasperation.
"Why can't I be like him? Bian, we trained together, why can't I be like A—"
Bian interrupted him.
"Like An Shin? Nobody can be like him, accept it."
Bian's voice sounded cold, unlike his usual playful and cheerful self. An Shin became extremely cold and indifferent when it came to important matters.
Voss ignored him and asked again.
"Where did I go wrong? Why don't they trust me?"
Bian's voice reached him again.
"Nobody can be like An Shin. The old man had a natural charisma that we can't imitate, no matter how hard we try." He stopped for a second. "Trust me, I tried."
He then gave a light push to the tree, completely breaking it in two, and creating a smooth surface where he could sit.
Bian sighed.
"Voss, trust isn't something that can be earned just like that, you should know it. How much time did you spend with them, five months? Maybe six? It's way too early for things like trust to develop."
Voss, however, didn't respond and kneeled there in silence. Bian continued.
"Just face reality. Nobody will ever be like An Shin, not now and not in the future. The man was born to be a leader. Just accept it and live with the mistakes that you have made. You made them, now deal with the consequences like a real man."
After Bian expressed his opinion, the duo fell into silence once again. Only Voss's heavy breathing and the occasional passing animal could be heard.
"Maybe I should go back to the hunting teams... Maybe becoming a team leader wasn't the right choice," Voss's voice was low and sounded like mumbling to himself instead of actually speaking; however, Bian, who was close to him, clearly heard his ramblings.
"You really want to go back to that life?" Hatred flashed in Bian's eyes. "Constantly living on the border, fighting every day in search of valuable targets, killing captains then leaving the battlefield?"
Bian's face became increasingly dark, his voice colder as he spoke.
"Killing at any cost, leaving behind the wounded, only for a few more contribution points and a share of your team's bounties?"
Voss matched his gaze.
"At least it would be easier. I wouldn't feel guilty every time I look at them, I wouldn't feel powerless every time I see them die under my lead!"
By the time he ended the sentence, Voss was crying loudly, tears blurring his vision. However, Bian wasn't moved by this display of sadness and said the part that Voss couldn't speak. His words were like poisonous daggers stabbing Voss in the heart, forcing him to admit what he couldn't.
"We both know that you care about them only because you feel guilty for An Shin's death. Would it make you feel better knowing that they died while someone else led them? You are only doing it for yourself."
Voss looked down at the ground in silence, not daring to say anything to argue with Bian. Because everything Bian had said was the truth, he couldn't object to it. He could only dodge Bian's cold gaze, feeling ashamed of himself.
The situation continued like this for a while, until Bian decided to stand up and walk back to the encampment. Like Voss, his steps were extremely silent and light. If someone didn't pay attention to the grass, they wouldn't even think someone had been there with him.
As he slowly left Voss alone, he spoke his last words to him.
"We are at war. Even if An Shin led them, they would die in one way or another. The battlefield isn't a merciful place. We can only go forward and try our best to survive while minimizing the casualties. You should let go of the past and move on." Bian paused for a second.
"I'm sure he would've wanted the same."