Darren groaned as he sat up.
He took a quick shower in the gym showers.
"Ah fuck!" He yelped as the water hit him. Freezing. As usual. Charlie had been promising to fix the hot water since fuckin forever. At this point Darren was sure he was doing it on purpose.
Probably some kind of character building thing or something
After the shower he packed up his stuff, did a quick mop of his sweat with one of the old rags and some spray, turned off all the lights and the heaters and all that jazz, then locked everything up the way Charlie taught him.
The cold air of Dublin at night bit his cheeks the second he stepped outside. The ground was still damp from the rain earlier. The stars like a salt shaker spilled across a black page.
He stopped for a second.
Wtf is that?
On the wall opposite the gym. Fresh paint. Black. Some kind of symbol he'd never seen before. Angular. Geometric. Deliberate. Not the usual "DAMO WUZ ERE" shit. This was clean.
Did they use a stencil or something?
Huh.
He took a quick photo and kept walking.
I'll deal with it tomorrow
Headphones on. Hood up. Press play.
Chasing Cars.
The guitar came in and the whole world seemed to slow down and the lights softened.
[We'll do it all, everything, on our own]
His brain shut off and his feet took over. Same route home he always took. Past the chipper with the grease-stained shutters, past the launderette with the busted sign and across the road.
[If I lay here, if I just lay here]
A puddle glowed like lava in the lamplight. Gone in a step.
[Would you lie with me and just forget the world?]
The streets were peaceful at night. Not a soul. Just the distant hum of a taxi somewhere and drunk people making their way home. His hoodie was damp. His hair was damp. Everything was damp. Ireland.
[Forget what we're told, before we get too old]
The canal. He always slowed down here. The water was black like my soul lol the trees hung over it and the lights from the houses on the other side made long wobbly lines across the surface.
[Show me a garden that's bursting into life]
A couple sat on the canal wall sharing a bag of chips. Her head on his shoulder. His jacket around both of them. Quiet... just existing together.
He looked away. Tried not to think about it.
I'm not jealous. nope nope it's just uh it's uh ok maybe I'm a tiny bit jealous
Yeah. He was a little bit jealous. A little bit. Sue me. Must be nice having someone who actually wants to be around you at 1am. Must be nice having someone who actually wants to be around you full stop.
His jaw tightened and the song kept going and his feet kept going and the couple got smaller behind him.
Oh shut up. Stop it. Stop feeling sorry for yourself you stupid bitch you'll get there eventually probably maybe just keep walking keep walking keep walking.
He kept walking.
[All that I am, all that I ever was]
His breath clouded in front of him and dissolved.
[Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see]
He turned down his street.
[I don't know where, confused about how as well]
His building. His door. Key in the lock. That familiar click. Up the stairs. Second floor. The landing that always smelled like someone else's dinner.
Into the flat. Cold and dark and the laundry from 3 days ago still sitting on the chair.
He didn't turn the light on. Just stood in the doorway. Headphones still in. The last notes of the song hanging in the air like they didn't want to leave either.
Then silence.
He pulled the headphones off. Dropped his bag by the door. Kicked off his shoes. One hit the wall the other dove under the bed.
Tomorrows problem
He sat on the edge of the bed. Pulled the notepad off the bedside cabinet.
Flipped it open. Clicked the pen.
New gang sign?
Underlined it.
Stared at it for a second. Then closed the notepad and tossed it back on the cabinet.
He got into bed without changing. Some battles aren't worth fighting.
Sleep came slow.