"Wait, wait, what?!"
"Master!"
"I know, it felt a little random too. Blame the Force, not me." Asmodeus snickered, "After that, he strangled his pregnant wife a bit, fought a life and death battle with his Master… Lost. But didn't quite die. His wife died shortly after giving birth and his Master hid both of the children in different places, watching the son grow up on Tatooine while the daughter lived as a princess somewhere else. Darth Vader was reborn, covered in machinery and armor that kept him alive. He went on to massacre what remained of the Jedi Order and commit genocide like it was a fucking chore. The new Sith Empire ruled the Galaxy with an iron fist, amazingly making the Galaxy even more shitty than it already was…"
"The Jedi Order was destroyed? And the Sith Empire rose? Deus! This is serious! This isn't just some regular frakking story or vision!"
"Whatever." Asmodeus waved his left hand casually, while still rubbing Ra's cheek to warm her body up a bit. His whole forearm was basically pressed against her almost flat, bony chest.
"The moral of the story is that the kids grew up. One was a major figure in the Rebellion, the other started training to become a Jedi. There was a giant space station that blew up planets, which the son demolished with a single torpedo somehow. I like to imagine that the twins fucked a few times before later finding out that they were actually related, but they probably only just kissed like in the 'vision'. Umm, a bunch of other random shit happened and in the end, Darth Vader sacrificed his life to save his son, tossing the old Sith bastard down a shaft… Which exploded. Then Darth Vader the Kind died in his son's arms, shockingly similar to what he experienced back then…"
"Is that it? What about the Jedi? What about the Rebellion? What the frak happened?!"
"What about my grandchildren?" Shmi also asked, "Did they really fall in love with each other?"
"That's an even longer and more convoluted story… But basically, the Jedi were reformed, destroyed, reformed, et cetera. I think? And the New Republic was almost destroyed a bunch of times after that. It's all pretty fucked up and grimdark either way, right?"
"What was the point of telling us this story again?" Eldra rubbed her aching Lekku and complained, "Are you 'trying' to give us anxiety? It's hard enough resisting the Dark Side around you frakkers as it is!"
"My point is that Darth Vader the Wise-I mean, uh, Kind, he turned out that way because of guilt and fear. He let it control and consume him. He didn't 'use' the Dark Side, he succumbed to it. Don't be like Darth Vader. Be more like me! Hahaha~! Look at how happy and normal I am!"
"Maybe you should call yourself Darth Asmodeus the Chaste?" Eldra sneered, "Sooner or later, your story is gonna end in tragedy too. Just like everyone else."
"Nah, I hate tragedies. But I ain't gonna jinx it." Asmodeus looked back towards the beautiful girl and grinned, "Didn't your story have a really happy continuation?"
"I'm the sex slave of a Sith Lord. Used like a frak-toy whenever he wants. Abused by a crazy schutta and violated by a Sarlacc. Did I mention the cuckoldry?"
"Technically it's more like NTR or cheating, but that's beside the point." He reached out and didn't even need to use the Force, because she crawled over to his side on her own. Asmodeus gently caressed her right Lek and then her cheek, running his thumb across her plump lips.
"The real moral of the story is that you should never let go of the ones you love. Ever. Always hold them close… Protect them like your most precious 'possessions'. Never let some silly 'code' or laws stop you from doing what you want, what you 'need'. Because there are worse things in life than death."
"Frak." She grabbed his hair and pressed his lips against his, shoving her blue tongue into his mouth as those long Lekku wrapped around his neck tightly.
"Mas-ter…" Meanwhile that little Roadian girl was still laying there, slightly delirious. Molesting his muscular arm and trying to endure the pain.
"Ani…" Shmi had tears in her eyes as she thought about her son. Flying low, near the dunes, to avoid being ambushed by enemies from 'above'. Even if they were attacked, she would at least have more time to react.
"You're a twisted psychopath, but you're really romantic sometimes."
"Aww~! I love you too, Eldra, hahah~!"
"I love you too, Master!" Shmi shouted from the cockpit.
"I love you too, Schutta~!"
*Beep~!*
"Is that my comm or yours?" Asmodeus looked down past her blood-soaked white tunic-like shirt and reached into her pant pocket. Pulling out what was essentially just a tiny microphone on the end of a metal nub.
"Who would call 'me'?" Eldra snickered and reached down into his pants, ignoring the hard package and grabbing a small disk that fit in her palm. Pressing a button, a well-defined holographic image appeared. It was a familiar figure.
"Ohhooohhhoohaaahaah~!" Jabba took a hit from his bong and asked, "Did you like my 'gift'?"
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