Rolling my neck to get the cricks out of it, I walked back home. I didn't particularly want to deal with anything the rest of the PRT planned on bitching about, so I ditched them the literal first chance I got, and am currently about a street away from my apartment.
Honestly speaking, I don't know why I expected anything other than the worst possible decision from the organization I was extremely thankful Dragon saved me from working directly for. God, I was an idiot when I first got back here. Seriously, why did I get a Master rating?!
[Preemptive Answer: Every Case-53 who has seen your message, allegiances aside, are praising you on every website possible, and there are thirty threads and counting for people to talk about and praise your intentions as well as look closely at the PRT and what they've actually done for the US.]
… I'm not getting my paycheck anytime soon, huh. Fuck.
In any case, the part I was most focused on at this point was the implications of what I am going to do. I promised to save the monsters in the world, and Worm's world is far more than just Brockton itself. So, if I am seen to not leave Brockton for too long after that message I will be seen as a liar or just a lazy asshole. So now I'm on a time crunch to accomplish something outside of this place, but so is the PRT.
Right now, I've put the PRT between both the public's increased scrutiny and the subtle pressures of the Guild if they begin to wonder why their newest member isn't making good on his claims if the Pig doesn't let me out to do some hero work outside of America's Cape Capital.
Essentially, I placed my greatest ally and their greatest weapon against the organization's throat, all while presenting myself as an idealistic if showboating rookie who is nowhere near competent enough for anything like that.
How's that for a rogue attack hound?
Chuckling in petty amusement, I eventually made it to my apartment, ready for another night of failed attempts at sleeping. The first thing to signal to me that something was off was the note on the door.
'Dear Kris,
Touch my sister and die.
With a sister's love,
Victoria'
… Oh Imma touch your sister Vicky. Like she was the fucking Mona Lisa, because that girl is a work of art.
… Damn that was good, I gotta write this shit down. Shaking my head at my pure genius, I pulled out a key and unlocked the door.
"Honey, I'm home!" I called out jokingly, only to blink at the interior. Every light I could see was dimmed, despite the fact I knew they couldn't do that, perfume wafted through the air to the point it almost completely masked the scent of burning candles.
To top it all off, there was a trail of flower petals leading from the entrance to my bedroom.
I paused, recalled the note I'd ripped off my front door, and with the grace of a god tore the paper to shreds and pumped my fist into the air. Then I calmly and patiently walked towards my bedroom so I didn't destroy my floorboards.
Because if anything was getting broken today, it would at least happen the fun way!
[+5 Lust]
Doing my best not to tear the door off its hinges, I swung open my bedroom and immediately looked at the only person my brain could be bothered to think of at that moment.
The first thing I noticed was the surprisingly lacy green bra and panty combo that was covering Amy's modesty at the moment. Hidden beneath them was a slight swell of curve to her chest and ass that made me salivate for something other than human flesh. After that was the flushed redness of her skin that made every freckle stand out, like a strawberry.
As well as the fact she was currently making a very embarrassing squeaking noise that appealed to me for reasons… I don't particularly want to think about right now.
[+5 Lust]
"Hey there," I said, a smile on my face as I walked towards the scantily dressed healer on my bed. "Not that I'm complaining, but is there a reason for… all this?" I looked around my room, with enough scented candles and flower petals that even I could recognize someone using a stereotype to turn a situation in their favor.
Amy, expectedly, gaped like a fish at the question. "Uhh, I, uh, wanted to… thank you?"
I gave her a look, right before I pulled my shirt off. "I know I should say something cheesy about not needing thanks or some shit, but honestly speaking I'm way too horny for that." Now Amy was back to gawking, but for more physical reasons.
Specifically, the fact that RC Cells make the average workout routine look like ten minutes of recess when it comes to musculature. I'm just swole enough to be attractive, but not enough to hinder any movement or agility.
Now, while Amy was distracted by abs and pecs, I unbuckled my belt and let my manhood swing in the air with the force of a hammer. The small gasp from my lover inflated my ego the tiniest bit.
[+3 Pride]
I turned to the biotinker sitting on my bed and gently pushed her onto her back, a smoldering heat filling the air as our eyes met. "So I'll take your thanks gladly." With that, I closed her mouth with my own lips and let my Lust fill me.
My tongue immediately went past her lips and danced with her own, while my hands trailed up and down her sides. My left found its place on her hip, sensually rubbing the soft, pale flesh while the right snaked up behind her and unlatched the bra with ease. Her moans couldn't escape past my lips and instead echoed in my head, as my left hand decided it's place was right on top of her rapidly moistening womanhood. Then I began grinding the heel of my palm near the nub.
Amy's arms reached out for my neck just as my spare arm tightened and dragged her closer as we aggressively made out, which only got more and more passionate as her fingers dug into my hair and yanked me closer.
It didn't hurt whatsoever, but in retaliation, I pinched her bean and restrained a chuckle as her teeth immediately clenched shut and an orgasm cry that broke our kiss escaped her.
Despite its severity compared to my own enhanced hearing, I would listen to it for hours if I could. And that was exactly what I planned on.
I put my lips to her neck and began the delicate process of giving her a hickey. She moaned right next to my ear as my hand continued to toy with her, trailing around her rapidly moistening lips and tweaking her clit between my fingers. My other hand went to her breasts, caressing and twisting her nipples at my every whim.
I lost myself in playing her body like an instrument, her every moan and reaction a thing of beauty that I just couldn't get enough of.
Soon enough, when she was far past wet enough for entry, I had to make a request before I could go farther.
"Amy, could you make me infertile?" I asked, and to my surprise she just nodded and grabbed my length to line herself up for me.
"Already… did… that. Condoms are… boring." She heaved out, and with that bit of wisdom, I thrust past her lips and had both of our cherries popped. I unceremoniously began thrusting at a steady pace, looking deep into her brown eyes, before her legs wrapped around my waist and pulled me closer.
I may not be the calculating type, but I read her loud and clear.
I grabbed at her ass, fingers digging into pale flesh, and thrust with some actual force. Not a substantial amount as I wasn't partial to literally breaking my girlfriend's pelvis on our first night. Instead, I just fucked her to the limits of what a normal person could be capable of dishing out… to positive results.
"AgH! Fuck! More!" She breathed out as our hips met with harsh claps, her twitching insides gripping at me as I did my best to follow orders and impale her on my length. By the ineffective clawing of her nails on my back, screams of pleasure, and the creaking of my probably broken bed frame I'd say I was doing pretty well.
Soon enough, after riding out several orgasms for my benefit and her pleasure, I approached my limit and tightened my grip on her soft rear.
My thrusts became ever so slightly inhuman in speed and strength as my climax neared, and soon enough she clenched around me and my orgasm burst out from me. By the coaxing of her cunt as my seed gushed into her, Amy found some pleasure in my release as well.
When I pulled myself from her enticing depths and saw massive amounts of semen seeping out of her now-gaping womanhood, I dimly wondered if my regeneration was the reason or just because I hadn't jerked off since I got here.
The feeling of Amy going slack in my arms broke me out of my introspection, and as I gently placed my lover back onto my bed I fell onto my side and relaxed as she began catching her breath. Chest heaving, the stench of her sweat-soaked skin filled the air, but for once my arousal kept that inhuman hunger at bay.
… That and I sorta liked seeing her beside me in my bed- shut up I'm not a sap.
But, as I firmly realized that this was kind of the last step our relationship could take without exposing certain things, I steeled myself.
Unfortunately, she easily brought herself back from the throes of arousal and looked loving at me, before pausing at my expression. "What?" She asked, semi-defensively, and I rolled my eyes.
"I have some… important things to talk about. And before you ask, you were fucking amazing and I'd like another round or five if I could." I stated bluntly, getting an embarrassed flush from the girl I just fucked. "It's more about… what I'm planning."
"... So pillow-talk?" I snorted.
"Apocalyptic pillow-talk, yeah." I almost laughed at how I'd forgotten how horrible this world is while I was busy getting laid. But, with the hint of uneasy curiosity in my lover's eyes, I knew that it was far too late to backtrack. So, I inhaled and started what was going to be the second hardest talk I would have with her today.
"Amy, in two years, the world is going to end." I flared up my Anti-Path Aura so nothing bad happens to Amy for this, and explained to her the situation in the most barebones way I could. Thinker with Precog, saw the future ends with billions dead, and am currently doing my best to fuck up the timeline the best way possible.
I also made it known about my Trump abilities, because why not?
In the end, Amy took that… surprisingly well, with a shrug and a promise to do what she could to help. When I gave her a confused look, she explained that every cape fears for the end of the world with every Endbringer fight they go to, so since the world isn't currently and immediately imploding she wasn't going to freak out about it.
Which was fair, and reminds me that capes 'round these parts are made of firmer stuff than I expected. But now… came the infinitely more difficult part.
"Amy… I really need to come up with a nickname for you." She gave me a suspicious look at the completely unprompted topic shift. "I don't know about Ames, since that's what Vicky came up with and I refuse to become a filthy name-stealer." Why the fuck am I deflecting? I shook my head.
"Don't know where that came from, but there's something really important I need to talk to you about. But, I want you to listen all the way through, so I can get my thoughts out."
"'Cause you get wordy when you're nervous, got it." She nodded, and while I really wanted to question that nonsense, I had a very awkward conversation to go through.
"Amy… I have a tendency to… I have an inclination towards… I have an affliction that… fuck it, I want to build a harem." I finally broached the topic, but I couldn't stop there. "I like the idea of having a lot of lovers, and want to date a lot of people at once."
"Kris-"
"-But I know that's bad, acting like collecting people to fulfill a power fantasy, and when I first came up with the idea I was a self-important prick!"
"No you-"
"-But I know that I want to love a lot of people, but I'm not going to force you to be 'just another' person I love. So, if you can accept me for my weird fetishy worldview I'd be ecstatic, but if you can't then I'm more than happy to throw it all away just for you!"
"Kris." She stressed, and I finally listened to her and looked towards the serious-looking woman at my side. "My fetish is being the meat of a cape sandwich between you and my step-sister. Frankly, I'm upset you think that I wouldn't love turning our bed into the staging grounds for an everlasting orgy." She rolled her eyes at me, and I paused before turning Lust Awareness onto her and finding something… new.
{Amy's Lust}
Orientation: Bisexual
Arousal: High
Libido: High (Just got fucked with promises of round two, and is currently discovering a new fetish)
Fetishes: Threesomes, Group sex, Harem (Developing), Dark Skin
… Oh fuck the hell yes!
I couldn't keep my stupid expression from revealing itself to Amy, and she rolled her eyes.
"God you must be an idiot to think you have a weird fetish when I'm the chick you're dating. Just remember I want to be there when you do the dirty with my sister." She chuckled.
"'When'?" I asked, considering Vicky and Gallant are supposedly not on break at the moment.
"If you shut up and put on the apron from earlier, I'll suck your dick," Amy stated as blandly as she could while both naked and blushing, but like a good boyfriend, I obeyed so I could get my dick wet. I knew the apron worked!
Now, time to fuck the healer unconscious! Huzzah!
[+200 Pride, +100 Lust]
[Achievement Unlocked: Virgin No More! +25 Lust]
[Achievement Unlocked: Penile Plunderer! +50 Lust]
[Achievement Unlocked: Harem Route Secured! +100 Greed]
[Preemptive Answer: Penile Plunderer references the fact you had climaxed within Amy Dallon's mouth, vagina, and anus at least once.]
When my consciousness returned from Sloth-diving, these notifications etched themselves into the forefront of my mind, which was when I finally decided it wasn't worth trying to sleep anymore. Though the clinical nature of that last message was weird, but I ignored it as I woke up alone in my bed.
Amy decided to use the guest room so Vicky didn't absolutely decimate the apartment when she eventually returned from explaining things with her aunt. Which… grated a part of me I didn't even realize existed before now.
Ignoring that, I had a couple of things I needed to get ready for before the outing I had 'informed' the PRT of. I needed to check up on Vista and get her something functional when she goes and beats up criminals, check back up on Tammi and Parian, and let the Guild know I'm going to be keeping my word.
… After having my five morning coffees, I came up with an amazing idea on how I would accomplish all of that before noon.
I just needed a clipboard.
I could hear the arguments coming from the house about three blocks away, and I grimaced as the sounds of parental dispute echoed in my extremely sharp ears just as I stood on their front porch.
I knocked on the door, noting the fastest heartbeat (due to size, not fear, fortunately for them) immediately reacted while the other two continued to argue, most likely not even hearing me over their screaming match.
I knocked again, harder, but still nothing. So, utilizing the nifty new power I got from Cricket's throat, I knocked again. Instead of the knock of an annoyed civil servant, it instead sounded like a door being broken down by a battering ram.
I quickly noted every bit of panic and rushed movement in the area nearby, while Vista's legal guardians rushed downstairs, and right as they were about to reach the door I heard the distinct noise of someone being shoved back.
I had to pull up my Sloth to keep myself from shoving my elbow into the stomach of the woman who eventually answered the door, though not because of the shove whatsoever.
[+10 Sloth]
"Hello! My name is Joel Adams, a member of the committee your daughter works for." I greeted cheerily, teeth-gritting beneath my smile. "We're going to need to borrow her early for the day, so please tell the schools about this, thank you."
Mrs./Miss Biron nodded quickly, a scowl being forced off her face for the sake of some stranger she probably won't ever meet again. Which is a much better courtesy than what she gives her own flesh and blood.
"Missy! Your committee wants you early today, get down here!" Her… 'husband' screeched out after he picked himself back up, obviously pissed about the shove but more concerned with getting any witnesses out of the way before enacting argumentative revenge.
With a speed I was sure was owed to her pinching space and her desire to not be there, Vista was downstairs and standing in between her guardians. Her green eyes widened at my appearance, considering my mask only covers half my face, but I just smiled at her. "Ah, glad you're here Missy. I'll be the MI5 to your James Bond this evening."
I winked conspiratorially to her, and soon enough we were off walking away, but soon enough the argument restarted when they assumed we were far enough that they couldn't be heard. Maybe they were for Missy, but not for me.
Thankfully I've gotten enough control to be able to turn off the super-hearing, so I could focus on talking with Missy.
"So, to be fair, I'm Kris Ashton." Missy looked over to me as we walked, and shook her head.
"I'm Missy Biron, but you already knew that. So, any reason you've kidnapped me, or is it just for shits and giggles?" She shamelessly quoted my speech from last night, and I groaned.
"As much as I love your personality, and would love to hang out, right now it's more about business," I commented, and she snorted.
"They said no, didn't they?" She said dully like it was the worst thing she could've imagined them doing.
[+5 Wrath]
"I don't want to talk about it." I bit out, before shaking my head. "In any case, I know a girl who can hook us up with some undocumented armor to keep your fleshy bits internal." At that, I poked her in her side, and snickered when she jumped at the touch.
She retaliated by twisting space beneath my foot to make me trip, but that little slip shifted into a cartwheel that easily put me back on my feet, to her reluctant applause.
I bowed, just as she twisted the sidewalk we were on with her power, causing a wall of concrete to rise up and meet my forehead with a dull thud before quickly retracting itself. I looked at the now smug girl, as well as the absence of nearby civilians.
"This means war, you know."
And that was the reason we were completely filthy when we eventually reached Parian's shop. And I would not apologize for anything.
After using my powers to undo our messy appearance, I let Parian know about our 'difficulties' getting official equipment to keep her unharmed, and she was more than motivated to give the little spatial-kinetic something to let her not get murdered by a stray attack from a Brute. She was also motivated by the fact that Dragon had also approved of the plan because I'm apparently 'reckless', 'impulsive', and 'a living slight against logic'.
They weren't wrong, but they could've spared my feelings a bit more.
Anyway, as Missy finished sending the list of ideas for costumes she apparently has on her phone while Parian dragged Tammi to help by levitating everything the Rogue couldn't so it came out faster, I pulled the other blonde to my side.
"Alright, since we're all concerned about your ability to keep your insides in, I came up with a couple of tricks you could use with your power." She tilted her head at me, doubt and curiosity clear on her face. "If they work, it'd give you a couple of pointers in some other power-types."
"I'm listening." She responded easily, and I held back a snicker at how enthusiastic she was to learn more skills. Then paused to consider how that might be the Shard's influence.
… Fuck, I need to make more of a habit of hitting people with Bestow Freedom so I don't have to deal with this. I'm just glad I did that with Amy after… aftercare and we'll leave it at that.
I dug a hand into my jean pocket, and pulled out a lighter, getting a raised eyebrow from the heroine. "Didn't take you for a smoker."
"Asked to borrow it from Amy, you never know when you'll need to set something on fire," I responded, before lighting it and holding the lit flame towards Missy. "One of the key abilities I'm thinking of needs a test. You need to bend the heat away with your power."
"What?" She blinked at me, but I gave no answer other than a shake of the sputtering flame. She shrugged, and reality itself bent around my hand. It was a weird feeling, having the space around my hand twisted in such a way. I couldn't recognize its effects, or how it was twisted immediately. All I knew was the heat of the fire was slowly but surely fading away from my hand.
"Alright, that'll work." With that, reality was put back in place, and for a second I was disappointed my power wouldn't let me steal that yet.
[+5 Greed, +10 Envy]
Oh shut up.
"So, what's the super move? Bend the heat out of a place so everything starts freezing?" I held back a shudder at such a use of space. God this kid's power is gonna be spooky when I'm done with her.
"That's a good idea, but I'm thinking of something more Stranger than Shaker." She looked at me, and I nodded to myself. "I'm thinking of a move that'll let you block out an area of its light, a complete dark zone so no one has any idea what's happening."
"Isn't that a bit… much for a Stranger power? And won't that make me blind too?" Missy wisely asked, and I grinned.
"If you blanket a place in it, yeah it'll be a complete shitshow for everyone. Which is why you'll work on your precision so you can focus on someone's face so they can't see out, and find a way so people can't see in to places. Also, try not to stand in the middle of your anti-vision powers and you'll be fine." A tiny bit of pink appeared on her face, but faded just as quickly.
"Yeah, sounds about right. But, is there anything more… offensive you got in mind, Don?"
"Call me Kris, and I sort of have something, you tiny ankle-biter." I absently caught the elbow she was going to poke me with before I continued. "It'll sound stupidly obvious, but have you ever heard of 'spot-dodging'?"
"No? What is that?" Missy asked, and I shook my head.
"Y'see, it's when you automatically dodge something." She narrowed her eyes at me.
"What does that have to do with- oh my God I'm an idiot." She immediately palmed her face as the obvious usage of her space powers hit her in the face. I nodded, before patting her on the shoulder.
"Yeah, I get it. Now, let's fucking jailbreak your powers, okay?"
After a call with a request for transportation to Boston by noon to Miss Militia, where the only response was that Armsmaster was on the case, and giving Missy some tips on becoming the real-life equivalent of a Ping Hacker, I sent a message to the Undersiders about a meeting so we could get everything straight and set up.
Lisa was the one who responded, with a call of all things, and the conversation was a bit… unexpected, let's say.
"We'll be there, but could you do me a favor and stop that whole anti-power thing for me when you get there?" She said, a constant huff to her breathing that made me think she was planning something slick. I narrowed my eyes.
"Alright, but you won't like what I'll do to you if I find out you're betraying me, got it, Lisa?" I warned, only for an odd groaning noise to respond to me.
"Oh fuck yeah, I will…" I blinked at the moaning coming from the Thinker, but before I could respond she hung up.
[+5 Lust]
Did she just get off on me threatening her? Wait, is that why I keep getting random Lust boosts?!
God, women are confusing, and my dumbass wants more of 'em.
In any case, I followed up that call with a text to the mayor (Got a message on PHO about making sure to call whenever I need something from the mayor's official account) about contacting him for business after I get back from Boston. Or whatever's left of it if things get really bad. I was immediately hit with an overly enthusiastic text message that could be summed as him offering his kidneys if necessary to pay back what he owes me.
I don't think he owes me anything, but just because I aim to be a hero doesn't mean I'll just say no to free shit.
So, with all my future legal issues set up and out of the way, I walked up to the cafe Lisa and I had first met in and set up a large table for us to conspire around near the back of the store. I signaled one of Dragon's AIs with a tap on the table, to destroy any evidence of the meeting if anything happens to record us.
After all, we're going unmasked, because what's so suspicious about a bunch of teens hanging out compared to a bunch of capes talking without trying to bust each other's kneecaps. While also hiding from the public.
Eventually, three coffees in, the group in its entirety enter the shop. They went up to the front to look for me, and as they did that I tried to find the sweet spot for Lisa's power.
I didn't want my secrets to be easily stolen, but there's a lot of shit about me I just don't give a damn about. So with a little finagling with the one power I have I can confidently say I was best at using, I had some obvious information up for grabs, but the more personal and TMI stuff was far enough out of reach.
So, with all my shit in order, I waved a hand and greeted the Undersider's for a seat at my table. "Hey guys, glad you could find this place. I know you guys don't like coffee like I do, but trust me the price is fucking worth it." I lied through my teeth as the lot of them sat down. Their eyes continued to flicker amongst the crowd of tourists and well-financed locals, the standard Brockton Bay paranoia already on full display. Not that that wasn't understandable.
Lisa scoffed at me. "Like that means anything, you're basically a druggie when it comes to coffee." I conceded the point with a nod and tapped ever so slightly on the table, subtly drawing the attentions of the Undersiders.
"Alright, Brian, Alec, Rachel, Lisa, Taylor. I can assume you all have agreed to accept my offer. Or you came to fight, which is going to be particularly difficult with all these civies around." I commented easily, before leaning back in my chair.
"We have," Brian responded firmly, clearly coming to an agreement. "We'll work for you, in so far as we'll consider anything you say, and agree to them if they are reasonable." My teeth clenched subtly within my mouth. Those were good terms, but the way he said it tickled my Pride for whatever reason.
I was speaking before I realized it. "Kid, I'm not taking you under my wing for shits and giggles. I want to change this place, and I need a gaggle of morally gray jackasses to do some of the work I can't do with my influence. I'm not going to send you off on errands, or pick up my laundry."
[+1 Wrath, +2 Pride]
Apparently, I said something wrong there by the glare Brian was giving me. "I am not some kid. I am the leader of the group you're asking to fight your battles, for the sake of your frankly lackluster reputation." He bit out, and I raised an eyebrow at the reputation comment. What the fuck does that have- oh, right natural trigger. They're all basically rhinos charging at the first thing they see that can take a hit, I almost forgot considering I surround myself with the ones with a semblance of self-control. And Vicky.
"One, I couldn't give any less of a fuck about my reputation if it wasn't for the fact what I need you to do for me would give me a reputation that would directly interfere with my plans to save this place. Two, what I'm asking isn't for you to be my shadow army, beating down my enemies because I'm too much of a pansy to get my own hands dirty." My gaze sharpened, and Brian held back a flinch as my gaze bore through him.
"There's a lot of fights that I want to start, but I can't because any hero that isn't strictly reactionary towards danger is viewed as either a paranoid basket case or a raging meathead looking for their next fight."
Taylor blinked. "R-really?" The disbelief in her voice wasn't the best to hear, and I shook my head.
"The PRT is the organization with the most parahumans in its ranks on the planet unless there's a gang of Strangers keeping themselves busy somewhere. That includes Thinkers, and I know for a fact they've turned away at least one who made plans to better the world by ending world hunger in less than a decade, just because the plan was too complicated." Everyone, except Rachel and Alec, looked at me with wide eyes at that bit of lore.
"Really? That's the reason?" Lisa immediately got curious, big surprise. I shrugged.
"To be fair, not even a Tinker would consider his plans sane in the slightest, but the fact they never even looked at it makes it clear the PRT is more content to be a treatment than a cure." I shook my head at that cavalcade of nonsense that was basically flavor text to the shithill that is Earth Bet.
"What does this have to do with us picking fights for you?" Brian asked, and I rolled my eyes at his impatience.
"I can't go around picking fights with gangs to get them off the streets- hell, PRT capes don't even really fight regular crime all too often since the public sees it as us bullying mere mortals." Taylor's eyes regained a bit of shifting as if she suddenly got nervous that people would pay attention to us. I held back a snicker at her nervous attitude. "Taylor, we're just a bunch of teens skipping class on a Friday, absolutely no one gives a damn about us. Hell, we could go up to a cop and wave, and he'd just tell us not to make a habit of it."
She relaxed slightly at that- For Taylor Herbet, which meant she was slightly less stiff in her seat compared to before. But that was the best I was going to get, so I move on.
"In any case, I can't go around wiping gangs off the face of the earth like the Fist of God if they don't do something immediately warranting like that. Which no gang would ever do if they weren't completely desperate or insane. So, I need you to be the instigating attack. My thrown gauntlet,"
"Your pimp slap?" Alec asked, and I reluctantly nodded in agreement. "So you want us to go around starting gang wars so you have a reason to gank their asses?"
"Yup." I popped the 'p' and watched their eyes widen.
"Bitchin' I'm in." Alec agreed easily, considering his main reason for being a villain is to escape his dad and have some fun along the way. I gave the Canadian a thumbs up, which he returned.
"What?!" Brian asked, shocked for a split second before he realized exactly who he was looking at. "Alec, we haven't even started bargaining!" He hissed out, but seemed more like a gruff whine to me.
"Oh, we can do that?" Alec asked, playing dumb to see Brian's blood vessels pop out more, which was admittedly entertaining to see on a teenager.
"I'm in too," Lisa added, and everyone including me turned towards her. "What? He already gave me what I wanted, the best I could ask is if his girlfriend is willing to share."
"She is," I added, and as Lisa's eyes snapped back towards me I pondered if I just made the best mistake ever. "What? Call it the benefits of dating a bi girl with a harem fetish." Lisa gave a grin so sharp it could kill the canary she just caught, but after that everything else fell into place.
Rachel had never given a shit past the thing with her dogs, Taylor had long since been bribed, and Brian literally wanted one thing he could've gotten if he just worked with the government instead of being a criminal. In fact, since he hadn't done anything crazy, if he ever got caught they'd probably offer to flip him into a Ward and put his sister in foster care until he was eighteen.
Basically, he made the much dumber decision the first time around, and I had to fight him to not do the exact same thing this time as well.
But, considering how hard I had to work for this, and what I planned on doing I decided to be a tiny bit of a jackass.
"Alright, your first assignment is to come up with a plan to destroy the Merchants. You have until the end of next week. See ya." Dropping that bomb on the lot of them was fun, and I really wanted to just walk off but I needed to say one thing before that. "Also, don't actually use the plan until I get back."
"... Who the fuck would actually try to take down a gang with a week's worth of planning?" Alec asked in disbelief, and my eyes looked over at the lot of them, a laugh in my throat at the irony of that statement. I just shook my head and walked off, to see exactly how I'm going to get to Boston.
God, I hope I don't have to ride with Armsmaster.
My eyes dulled over as I stood in front of a rapidly teleporting, short woman with a rat mask on along with a set of armor. She was constantly blinking around the room, messing with Armsmaster whenever she wasn't hopping about 'working with a Big Damn Hero' and otherwise ribbing me and Miss Militia at every goddamn opportunity.
My eyes accusingly looked over to the military-style cape, and she shrugged. "Armsmaster recommended her."
My gaze then snapped to the man who was far more annoyed than I was, what with Mouse Protector having several designated spots to appear around him for optimal harassment.
"... Good." I nodded with a sharp smile hidden behind my mask again before I turned to the most annoyingly cheerful cape. "Anyway, MP, you can fuck with Tinhead on your own time, I need to get to Boston."
She then popped in front of me and looked up with a mocking salute. "Hero yes hero! Just say the magic words and we'll be off!" My teeth clenched as my Pride was unsettled at the constant mockery, but I just drenched it in pure laziness so I could get my job done.
[+10 Sloth]
"Please, fuck with Tinhead on your own time, and take me to Boston," I said easily, and she puffed herself up like an overconfident chicken.
"Good! Now, put your hand on me." My hand immediately found itself on top of her head. "Lower!"
"I'm not falling for that." I rolled my eyes when she just huffed in disappointment-
[Mouse Protector(?)'s Teleportation has been negated!]
-Before my eyes flew open, relief immediately filled me as my body was completely unharmed and I could clearly see the open streets of Boston right in front of me. In an alley so we weren't swarmed by foot traffic, but I've woken up in worse places.
I looked down at the shorter, brown-haired woman, before removing my hand from her head. "Thanks for the ride, short-stuff."
"Oh wow, what an original nickname!" Mouse Protector responded with fake shock. "You must be great with names to come up with something never heard of before-"
"Mighty Mouse." I cut that shit off before she could get started, and got the satisfaction of hearing her close her mouth with a click of her teeth.
"... I'll give you a free trip back if you never speak of this again." She bit out at her apparent loss, while I raised an eyebrow at her.
"You were going to make me pay to get home?" I asked the increasingly annoying cape.
"Not like you had any better options to bargain with." I pinched the bridge of my nose to stave off the pure frustration that came with dealing with the rodent-inspired cape.
"Oh my god, just go… harass a pest exterminator or something, I have shit to do." I shooed her off with a wave of my hand.
"Well, good luck with your shit, I guess." And with a pop, the world became infinitely more bearable. I sighed and began rolling my joints in preparation for this hellish Friday I was about to either create or destroy.
Then I went over what Mouse said and snorted. Luck? On Earth Bet?
God, I wonder what Wildbow did to her- oh. Well fuck.
… Alright, the plan after dealing with this shit is fucking up the Slaughterhouse Nine and stealing… Riley? Yeah, that's her name.
But first, I need to diffuse the explosive that is Echidna. And to do that I need to find the Travellers. And to do that without getting a hit on me from the mob is to… 'deal' with Accord.
So, if I were a gang boss, where would I hideout? Sounds like a question for my Thinker power.
Getting the address with relative ease, I strolled out of the alley and began making tracks to my destination. Accord was one of the more… non-apocalyptic enemies in the story to my knowledge.
From what I know, the story went from Lung to Coil, with a five-minute ad break for Leviathan, to the Slaughterhouse, and finally to Zion. Which makes it perfectly clear why Taylor is the so-called Queen of Escalation, what with all the rampant bullshit each endgame boss is delayed with.
In all honesty, technically speaking saving Earth Bet should be pretty simple. Merc Jack Slash before he infects Zion with his unique brand of insanity, and get Zion to sit back and think of Space London while putting the Shard equivalent of a sawed-off shotgun into his mouth as he sobs over his dead wife.
Everything, everything else is filler in comparison, mundane threats that should've been dealt with by the PRT if it wasn't just a dressed-up puppet for Cauldron. Even then, the threats here were small-time. Egomaniacs trying to control the underworld, emotional wrecks trying to make the world feel their pain, even parahumans that had their minds warped until they could only fight without ceasing.
But… in the end, they were all victims of someone higher up on the threat list. Warped triggers are because of the Shards and possibly Eden's death, warped people are because of the failures of the PRT to do their fucking jobs thanks to Cauldron not to mention the basically nonexistent police departments. Both due to lack of funding and lack of ability
Accord was like this as well, the PRT and its employees failed a Thinker that was actively trying to improve the world itself. They wouldn't even give him the time of day despite his Thinker rating, and several other government officials did the same thing.
The fact she might have something to do with it is irrelevant. Either way, he only became the head of a criminal empire because that was the best way he could 'save the word' without the government's help.
Though I'm definitely not saying he's some misunderstood woobie, he's done far too much independent of his power to even consider letting him go scot-free.
Sighing, I looked around me, finding myself getting closer to the really important buildings in Boston, including their branch of the PRT.
Suddenly, my phone buzzed in my pocket, and the world's color began to bleed out.
[