I may or may not continue it.
-----------------------------------
'Thwak'
"FUCK!"
I cradled my hand as I stared at the square tree. The pain passed quickly, and I stepped back. I rolled my eyes up, jumped up and down, and did everything else I could think of. The dream didn't end.
I looked back at my bed, the only thing besides myself in sight that had rounded edges. I left the tree I'd try to punch behind, and experimentally slapped the mattress a few times. There was a brief noise like tearing cloth, and the bed shrank, popped into the air, and flew towards me. I flailed at the incoming object on reflex, but the bed passed through my arms without resistance and vanished.
…
"E?"
…
"Inventory?"
There I was, a paperdoll wearing my pajamas, the standard minecraft crafting-slash-inventory screen, my bed in the hotbar, and…a book? It took me a moment to figure out just how to grab it, and it popped into my hand with a small rush of displaced air. It looked just like I expected it to, all right angles and pixelated, and I felt around the edges of the square, seamless cover for a way to open it.
Hello! You've read enough self-inserts to understand the situation you're in, but there are a few details unique to your situation I'll fill you in on.
Now, this is just the first of the worlds I've lined up for you. Traveling to another world is as easy as following the blueprints within this book to build a portal that can take you to the next world on the list, or return you to one previously visited. Just keep in mind you may spend at most one year's time in each world. After that, you'll be locked out.
Each world you'll visit has one or more World Quests, and completing these offer unique rewards. Other quests are hidden or are only revealed after certain conditions are met, and some offer special, secret rewards! Isn't that exciting?
As a bonus, if you complete all a world's World Quests, you may choose to distribute that world's remaining time to others, if you need extra time to complete a particularly difficult quest, or if you just want to spend more time in a certain world.
Now, I'm a generous sort, so I've started you off in Easy Mode, with the first few worlds set up to get you ready for later challenges. You won't have this benefit for long, so train hard!
As for returning home, that's quite simple. All you have to do is get stuck, run out of time, or trigger some kind of fail condition a particular world may have. …Or you could, you know, die.
Good luck, Gamer!
For a moment nothing in the world moved, which I confirmed by spinning around in terror at the thought of a creeper sneaking up on me. Then I spent a minute or two quietly gibbering in terror and disbelief before shakily putting the book away and going back to the tree. A part of me still hoped this was just a dream, but I didn't want to stay out in the open either way.
I shucked off my pajamas and wrapped the legs around my fists, and…noticed I looked pretty good, actually. Not buff, but not as out-of-shape as I was when I'd gone to bed. Small mercies, I supposed, as I braced myself and started punching. Cracks spread through the wood, and I forced myself to keep going until the block broke. I was about to move onto the next block, but-
*Ping!*
A wise decision has caused your Wisdom to increase by 1.
Seriously, What?
"...Status?"
*Ping!*
Name: T͂̑̏̍ͩͩ҉̦a̭̩͓̱̍ͦͮ̚͜k̳̤͎̟̀e̸͍̻̤̫̭̒͒ͣ̆ͩ̂n̘̊ ̗̗̗̞̋ͥ̀ͅa̱s̫̯͈̞͋̅̊̽ͨ̋ ̤̺͙p͏͖̩͉̜̩͎ā͉̫̋̅̏̀y͕̜ͯ̍m̬̞̘ͧͦ͋͌̍̚̚e̙̥̳̾̊̍͊̃ͦn̠̻͔̳͚ͣͯ̔̐ͬͮt̷͉͌̀
Class: Gamer
Level: 9
HP 610 (110 + 500)
MP 0 (170)
Str 64 (14 + 50)
Dex 55 (5 + 50)
Vit 61 (11 + 50)
Int 17
Wis 8
Luk 2
What's wrong with…I can't remember my name. I was naked, amnesiac, and trapped in Minecraft. I couldn't help it. I started laughing like a madman.
And that's how my day started.Last edited: Feb 5, 2017402QuantumshardFeb 5, 2017View discussionThreadmarks Day one View contentQuantumshardFeb 5, 2017#2"Ok…"
After slowing down the emotional rollercoaster I was riding on, I'd gotten to work. Two more blocks of wood. Make a wooden pickaxe. Mine three cobblestone, upgrade to a stone pickaxe. Five more cobblestone for an axe, shovel, and sword.
Then I was on the move. I presumed that I was basically playing hardcore, so that meant hunger and finding shelter were the immediate concerns. And I was moving faster, jumping farther, and not getting tired in the slightest. But as awesome as that was, I knew I had more important things to worry about. Like nightfall. A few sheep solved my immediate hunger concerns, and I slashed up the grass in my path for seeds. I had food, now I needed iron, a source of water, and a hill.
The…entity responsible for this was maybe being honest about calling this easy mode, because I quickly came across a nice outcropping overlooking a beach with both cows and chickens in sight, and an exposed vein of iron ore. The square sun was at noon-ish, I guessed, so I got to work immediately.
Cobblestone. Furnace. Charcoal. Iron. Wood slabs. Wood, wood, and more wood. Fencing. Hopefully this place followed minecraft physics, otherwise I risked my house collapsing on me in protest for my lack of architectural skills, assuming the foundation didn't slide away as I began turning slopes into sheer cliffs. I don't know if the mobs would act any differently here, and I didn't want to find out the hard way. But just to test one thing out…
Huh. Blocks float here.
Hello, flying house.
I finished the roof just as the sun began to disappear over the horizon. Walking backwards, I mined out the bridge between my house and solid ground and shut the door. Then I put a plank to block the doorway for good measure.
I took my bed out of my inventory and sat down to check something.
"Skills."
*ping!*
A mess of miscellany - martial arts, tailoring, carpentry…along with something I didn't expect.
Blessing of Steve (temporary)
Increase Str, Dex and Vit by 50
Grants Minecraft-style inventory and hotbar
Passive wound regeneration
HP system
Instant Crafting
Do not require sleep
Fast plant and animal growth
That's odd. I guess this is what let me punch down trees, but why would I even have something like that? Ah. Easy mode.
Gamer's Body (Level 1)
Grants an ideal body and negates attribute degradation from disuse.
Gamer's Mind (Level 1)
Improves rate of skill gain and negates skill degradation from disuse.
The bastard nerfed me. But all in all, I wasn't really in a position to complain about the entity that gave me this chance in the first place. No wait, YES I WAS.
Logophage (Level 1)
Absorb information from written formats.
Phage was…'to eat' or something like that, I think. Logo…like a company logo? Words? Word-eater? Did he nerf my ability to absorb skills from books as well? No…the gamer power could always absorb skill books. And this skill was only at level one, so it could be upgraded somehow.
*ping!*
Careful thought has raised your intelligence by 1.
Apparently so. I was almost done with the page, but there was one important skill that wasn't there. I looked around and settled on a torch attached to the wall.
"Observe."
*ping!*
A new skill has been created.
Observe (level 1)
Display information known to the user.
*ping!*
Torch (Easy mode variant)
Will never burn out
Created with stick and charcoal
And? C'mon!
*ping!*
Wooden slab
Created with oak planks
Maybe if I can widen the effect a little…
*ping!*
House
Created with 42 oak blocks, 164 oak planks, 50 cobblestone, 16 fenceposts
Well that's interesting. I guess I can observe different aspects of something? The skill hadn't gained any XP, though. What if…
*ping!*
Observe (Level 1)
This skill collects and displays all information known to the user regarding the target.
This skill's level can only be increased with points gained from completing World Quests.
It was the same for Gamer's Body, Gamer's Mind, and Logophage. I wasn't just nerfed, the entire Gamer powerset had been tweaked. But what about the odd skill out?
*ping!*
Blessing of steve (temporary skill)
This is a temporary skill
Fucker.
I let myself fall back and stared at the ceiling. Wait…I know how to cheer myself up! I raised my hands, concentrated, and willed my mana to gather.
*ping!*
You cannot perform this action.
Well why the hell not?
"Observe!"
*ping!*
(You cannot perform this action.)
Punching the pop-up did nothing.
"Huh. Quests?"
*ping!*
Let's see. Two World Quests displayed.
Kill the Enderdragon.
Kill the Wither.
Wasn't really surprised there. Minecraft was a sandbox game, after all. Not much to do here besides play around.
By now, I could see the stars coming out between the fencing that served as a window. Better try going to sleep, I didn't want to risk being blindsided by any other changes to the game, and the fewer mobs spawning the better. I rolled over and pulled up the sheets, and the world flickered just as my head hit the pillow.
The sun was coming up. Another question answered. Taking a careful look around, I crept out of my house. Time to get to work.396QuantumshardFeb 5, 2017View discussionThreadmarks I must axe you a question View contentQuantumshardFeb 5, 2017#3I had plenty of wood and sand, so I went all-out. I was on a beach with a shallow shoreline, so I crafted a bucket, counted out the tiles and soon had a massive, glass-enclosed farm. I lured the chickens into a fenced-off enclosure, but I had no wheat ready for harvest, so the cows were left to wander. It was slow work, even with the physical buffs, and I had pretty much burned through my starting stash of food. I'd have to butcher some animals tomorrow, tomorrow being two minutes after crawling into bed.
But before I fell asleep/played discount Celestia, I reached for the book again for the portal instructions. I didn't want to be stuck here for any longer than was necessary.
It was actually pretty simple. A frame of obsidian, easily made. A few blocks of redstone and diamond, and…that was it. I tried flipping pages to make sure there wasn't a second part, but there wasn't. I wouldn't even have to visit the nether. Thank you, easy mode.
Day three. I needed more iron. That meant digging. I had just enough for a breastplate, and crafted one before exploring my surroundings. There were a few promising holes in the ground nearby. I wouldn't take any chances, I'd fence and wall off EVERYTHING rather than risk dying to a surprise creeper. Even if mobs could spawn out of nowhere, I swore this world would see enough barricades and trenches to make a Krieger nod in silent approval.
*ping!*
Wisdom and intelligence in one go? Why thank you.
The high-point of the day came just out of sight of my home. An opening partway up a steep slope showed the mossy bricks indicative of a monster spawner, and I quickly walled shut the entrance before removing a single brick and looking inside. It was dark inside, so I started rummaging around for a torch.
I looked up just in time to get an arrow in the skull.
-74 HP
I reared back in shock, and my feet found empty air.
-thud-
-24HP
It was a steep slope and I was pretty high up.
-crunch-
-36HP
-smash-
-24HP
-bellyflop-
-48HP
I pulled myself off the ground making some rather undignified sounds.
404/610 HP
My first brush with death would forever stick with me as a very unpleasant memory. I'd have been dead several times over without perks making my body run on HP instead of depending on vital organs and precious bodily fluids. I'd stumbled home and curled up into a little ball of raw nerves long enough for night to fall and the arrow to vanish by itself. It would take until morning the next day to collect myself, and I ate, healed, and spent one of my last iron bars to make a shield.
Axe in hand, I swore to kill that low-poly sack of shit. And his friends. And his little dog too.
I returned to find my wall undisturbed, and heard the creak of bones. As a test, I dug out a few blocks at foot-level and found that minecraft mobs couldn't crawl. Stabbing them in the ankles wasn't as satisfying as I'd hoped, but the skeletons died all the same. Digging around the dungeon let me toss in torches to suppress the spawner. Once it wasn't generating any more skeletons, I charged in, shield up, screaming in rage to kill the last lonely skeleton standing in the corner. After that, it was all over but the looting.
*ping!*
Axe mastery has increased by 1.
You have gained 1 level.
*ping!*
Hidden quest complete!
Blinded by the light
You have suppressed a dungeon.
You have gained 1 level.
"Huh. Status?"
Name: T͂̑̏̍ͩͩ҉̦a̭̩͓̱̍ͦͮ̚͜k̳̤͎̟̀e̸͍̻̤̫̭̒͒ͣ̆ͩ̂n̘̊ ̗̗̗̞̋ͥ̀ͅa̱s̫̯͈̞͋̅̊̽ͨ̋ ̤̺͙p͏͖̩͉̜̩͎ā͉̫̋̅̏̀y͕̜ͯ̍m̬̞̘ͧͦ͋͌̍̚̚e̙̥̳̾̊̍͊̃ͦn̠̻͔̳͚ͣͯ̔̐ͬͮt̷͉͌̀
Class: Gamer
Level: 11
HP 610 (110 + 500)
MP 0 (170)
Str 64 (14 + 50)
Dex 55 (5 + 50)
Vit 61 (11 + 50)
Int 19
Wis 9
Luk 2
Unspent points: 10
Seeing my lost name distorted like that was still a little disturbing, but I tried to put it aside. I still had the rest of my memories…I think…and I remembered all the pseudonyms I've used in games and RPGs over the years, so I'll use one of those if I have to. As for my points, I'd have to think about that later. In the meantime, I returned home and dropped off my loot, then grabbed a bucket of water. I didn't know how to make an automated monster grinder, so I'd have to do this manually.
I piled cobblestone in the corner of the dungeon, dug a few cubes out and put a few cubes of glass wall up. After triple-checking everything to make sure I could avoid getting any more extraneous orifices, I emptied the bucket in the far corner and outran the ensuing waterfall as it tore up the torches I'd placed. I put the last bit of glass up, made sure that the door behind me was shut and everything was set, and waited for the first skeleton to spawn.
Pushed by the waterfall, the skeleton bobbed closer, and I sworded his legs until he de-rezzed.
*ping!*
Hidden quest complete!
Inhuman resources
You have created a simple mob farm.
You have gained 1 level.
Huh. I guess a 'hidden quest' was something between 'doing something' and 'accomplishing a milestone?'
I stayed there for what felt like a few hours, slashing away at every bony foot that came near and letting the items dropped be absorbed. After boredom set in, I made my way back home through a freshly-dug tunnel and headed for the farm. Now I had pumpkins and carrots in my diet. Not that the food here had much taste, but I think they tasted better now knowing they had been fertilized with the shattered bones of my enemies. And I finally had wheat to lure those cows into an enclosed pasture where I would rule over them as the unquestioned giver of life and death.
…I really need to get out of here. But first, steak!
*ping!*
Hidden quest Complete!
Farmcraft.
Your farm has grown to the point that it can sustain both you and your animals without outside assistance.
You have gained 2 levels.
Nice. I'm going to have to think about what other kinds of things I can do that might qualify as an XP-worthy milestone. Beat up a zombie with a shovel, maybe? Still, I had a choice to make, and unspent points would do me no good.
I had twenty-five points.
With 'Blessing of Steve' I was set, at least physically. Even if it was a temporary thing, I was leery of putting points into my physical stats. Wait. Why hadn't I gained any points in my physical stats, with all the running, fighting, and digging I've done? My stats were still low, they should have been easy to train! So why…
"Oh goddammit."
*ping!*
An important realization has raised your intelligence by 1.
An hour later, I had a nice large room floating high over the ocean. It was a nice view, let's hope this plan doesn't get me killed.
"Disable skill 'Blessing of Steve."
The first thing I noticed was that my body seemed to get a lot heavier.
The second was that, since I hadn't emptied my inventory, everything I was carrying exploded out of my pockets like quantum spaghetti. I pointedly ignored the oversight in a huff and took off on a run around the room.
*ping!*
*ping!*
*ping!*
*ping!*
*ping!*
By nightfall, I'd gained a few points. Gamer's Body mostly kept fatigue at bay, but I hoped that a higher level of Gamer's Mind would prevent boredom when grinding was involved. I left the dojo a little tougher, collected my items, and put up a sign to remind myself in the future to make sure that 'Blessing of Steve' was re-enabled before I left the safety of my house.
Unspent points: 25
So where to put my points?
Granted, I couldn't stop thinking about the possibility of learning magic, but for whatever reason I couldn't access my MP right now. So there was little point to raising my Int right away, but at the same time I expected it to be a very difficult stat to grind. The same with wisdom and luck. In the original comic, Jee-han had never raised his wisdom and luck, so I had no idea what benefits they would offer.
Besides, you know, being really lucky or never having to say 'y'all hold my beer and watch this.'
I mean in a more tangible sense.
And whatever I raise has to be something I make use of - stacking Dex won't do much unless I incorporate the increase into my everyday actions, into how I fight…unless it becomes second nature. And I doubt that putting points into a stat comes with that kind of psychological overhaul.
Still, I had a lot of time and levels to pick up more points. Unless I got killed.
…I hate you, overthinking brain.
Alright, no more of this. I began tapping arrows.
Name: T͂̑̏̍ͩͩ҉̦a̭̩͓̱̍ͦͮ̚͜k̳̤͎̟̀e̸͍̻̤̫̭̒͒ͣ̆ͩ̂n̘̊ ̗̗̗̞̋ͥ̀ͅa̱s̫̯͈̞͋̅̊̽ͨ̋ ̤̺͙p͏͖̩͉̜̩͎ā͉̫̋̅̏̀y͕̜ͯ̍m̬̞̘ͧͦ͋͌̍̚̚e̙̥̳̾̊̍͊̃ͦn̠̻͔̳͚ͣͯ̔̐ͬͮt̷͉͌̀
Class: Gamer
Level: 14
HP 650 (150 + 500)
MP 0 (170)
Str 65 (15 + 50)
Dex 60 (10 + 50)
Vit 65 (15 + 50)
Int 20
Wis 10
Luk 20
Fuck it. I like round numbers.366QuantumshardFeb 5, 2017View discussionThreadmarks Stab lab View contentQuantumshardFeb 5, 2017#4*ping!*
Hidden quest Complete!
Like diamonds in the sky.
But underground.
You have gained 1 level.
I pulled my first diamond into my inventory and stopped to rest. Behind me, a stairway went up…and up…and up…I hadn't found any natural tunnels near my home, so I dug one myself. Hmm. So if sea level was at sixty on the z-axis, and I had hit bedrock in a branching passage, and I was about two blocks high, making each block about three foot square plus change, then…
I was at least a hundred and fifty feet underground, and I'd gained a few points of Vit digging this out even with the buff active. The extra head room I'd dug out for this massive stairway to hell was the only thing keeping me from having a claustrophobic freakout.
I raised my pick to dig out the rest of the diamond vein, but paused. I knew I was in 'easy mode' but diamonds were always a pain in the ass to gather without modding their generation values. And I needed four blocks, which was…thirty-six diamonds in total. An enchanted pick could speed things up, but I needed a diamond pick and more diamonds to make an enchanting table…
One, two…five. Three for a diamond pick, two for the enchanting table. I resisted the urge to mine out the remaining few diamond blocks, they weren't going anywhere. I'd spent nearly the entire day digging this passage, and I felt fatigue in my brain that the blink-and-it's-over sleep here didn't address. I suppose I could disable the skill and try to sleep normally, but that's not a risk I'm willing to take.
*ping!*
Planning for the long-term has increased your intelligence by 1.
Back home, the diamond pick I forged was the only translucent tool I had. Square-ish and a deep blue, it reminded me of jello for some reason. A quick trip to a pool of lava with a stack of buckets brought me the obsidian I needed, and my garden provided the paper.
When the enchanting table was built, I just…stared at it, for a little while. It was every bit as blocky and impossible as everything else in this world, it wasn't lightning in my hands or something that felt truly different, but it was still magic. For a little while, I just watched the nonsensical symbols from the nearby bookshelves float through the air, passing through my hands when I reached for them.
Ok. Deep breath. Now how will this work? Touching the table did nothing.
"Observe?"
The table interface appeared, and I set the lapis lazuli and my new pickaxe in their proper places.
"Observe!"
Efficiency I?
"Observe."
Unbreaking I?
"Observe?"
Unbreaking II?
No fortune enchant, but that was high level to begin with, and…
…
Ah, dammit.
I'd been so careful avoiding mobs that I wouldn't have enough orb-xp for a fortune enchantment. Oh well. I pulled my pick out of the interface, I'll save it for later and just stick to steel and stone for now. I'll grind skeletons until I have enough and enchant something else to shuffle the available enchants. I couldn't remember if there was a system to it or if it was just random. I'd just have to enchant random picks until I got lucky.
I was halfway through enchanting my helmet that I facepalmed. Hard.
-2HP
I had a luck stat.
I had a luck stat that made me lucky and I needed to make a random mechanic work in my favor.
*ping!*
Realizing the obvious has increased your wisdom by 1.
"FUCK YOOOUUU."
- - - - - - - - - -
I didn't want to do this.
I really didn't want to do this.
In the shadow of my house, floating high enough above that it wouldn't be damaged if a creeper went off, I'd dug out an arena. A zombie had spawned, and I'd confirmed that the doors were still shut on the caves dug into each side of the pit after walking the perimeter. I jumped down and landed with a clumsy roll, noting the small loss of HP. The zombie turned and approached immediately, silent as any game mob. Not built for two hands, I lashed out with a one-handed overhead swing with a freshly-crafted stone blade. Just like the game, just like the skeletons, there was only a slight resistance when the weapon connected before it flashed red and was knocked a step back.
Then I lowered my shield and let it touch me.
-20HP
Without distraction this time, I could feel the injury properly. It was jarring, like getting shocked, almost a squeezing sensation on my insides. Not what I expected. Experiment over, I tried to time the next swing with the landing of a short hop. It didn't feel right, and there was no special effect, no notice of a crit. I jabbed the zombie again with a straight thrust, and for once was glad there was no one around to see how awkward I looked. But the zombie took damage from it, and a second thrust finished it off.
*ping!*
Sword mastery has increased by 1.
Sure didn't feel like it, though. I let the XP orbs flow into me, and collected a piece of rotten flesh. Pacing the pit, only one of the caves held a mob, a spider that stared at me through the glass. I swapped sword for axe, opened the door, and hit it with a steady tempo of cuts until it vanished. Maybe I just have an aversion to dying, but I really didn't want to get myself into fights at all if I could help it. Stabbing skeletons in a barrel was as close as I wanted to get to a fight, even if I knew that between my armor, shield, and HP, it would take a lot to kill me.
I left the pit and headed for the enchanting table. Between mobs and the grid of tunnels I was digging to try to find ore as quickly as possible, I'd amassed enough orb-xp, which was tracked separately from my gamer-level, for what I hoped was a decent enchantment.
Alright.
"Status."
I brought my luck up to 25. Let's see what we get.
"Observe. Observe. Observe."
Fortune II?
Pick. Lapis. Push the button, and…
Diamond Pick
Efficiency II
Unbreaking II
Fortune III
*ping!*
Fortune favors you, your luck has increased by 2
*ping!*
A new skill has been created.
Enchanting
An ancient art, inanimate objects are modified to collect and channel ambient mana in imitation of a wizard's ability to shape mana into spells.
As the level of this skill increases, you can enchant items with more complex and multiple effects.
Note - As the enchanting table is performing all the work, you cannot currently improve this skill beyond level 1.
Niiice.
Time to get to work.
Passing through tiled and well-lit tunnels, closing a dozen doors behind me as I passed each checkpoint, I visited each ore vein I'd discovered and left alone until I had the enchantment I had now. The orbs released weren't important, and I had plenty of iron. But I had almost all the diamond I needed now, and two full stacks of redstone. Let's get out of here.
Above ground, above the sea I should say, floating on a long spur branching off from my bedroom balcony, a dark, ugly cage of obsidian sat like a smudge on the horizon. Blocks in hand, I double-checked the book and inserted them in the empty slots. Redstone below, diamond above. But I was just one diamond block short. Four diamonds short to be exact.
They shouldn't take long to find.395QuantumshardFeb 5, 2017View discussionThreadmarks Not as things should be View contentQuantumshardFeb 5, 2017#6Nope.
NOPE.
NNNOOOPE.
Good news, I'd found a passage to speed up my search. Bad news, it lead to an abandoned mineshaft. Full of those poisonous little fuckers I hated so much. I blew my remaining stack of fences as I flailed and blocked off the passage I was in the moment I spotted one.
"Ha!"
I collected the extra fences and plugged a hole I'd missed. The little green bastard hovered at eye-level, impotent.
-zorp-
Huh? What was-
Oh. Enderman.
Looking back , I don't remember which one of us screamed the loudest, but I remember my back slamming into the fence, forgetting I'd just blocked the passage, seeing the poisonous spider inches from my face, screaming again, and looking back to see the Enderman coming up fast. I kept just enough mind to reach for cobblestone, not for my weapon, and I swept my hand out to lay down a row of blocks. The Enderman stepped to one side and blocked the placement of the last cube, and I scrambled back into the far corner and slammed down the last cube on the ground with no time to spare. True to game logic, the Enderman was too tall to squeeze through a two-block gap.
I gasped for breath. I was trapped, stuck looking into one of the most fuck-off scariest mobs I've seen in a game. Made of rectangles or not, the damned thing was just terrifying in person, and its unhinged jaw was twitching, the entire body practically vibrating a few feet away. This thing was somehow mashing every fear-response button my brain had.
But I was safe for the moment. And I had an axe. I mustered the courage to step onto the barrier I'd laid, and the shriek it made when I landed a hit was a thing of beauty. I hit it a second time, and reared back for a third.
-zorp-
…It's going to come back later and ambush me later at the worst possible moment, wasn't it?
Well, I wasn't going to make it easy for him if he returned. I'd brought lots of materials to make checkpoints, and I put them to good use. Every junction was door'ed, every line-of-sight cleared, Every twenty feet a row of cobblestone went across the ceiling to block Enderman travel. I even put down glass columns at regular intervals so I could see mobs coming but not get shot in return. Got a wisdom boost out of that for creative thinking.
Considering my slow progress, and the amount of food I went through, I must have been down there a couple days, at least. But it payed off in the end, a minecart track leading me to a small side corridor with a chest. And finally, the diamond I needed to get the hell out of here. No chance I'm staying to play with the bosses. Sure, I wanted the full Gamer experience, but the book practically spelled out that I could leave and come back to complete the quests later. And with what I remembered of the Enderdragon and the wither, using equipment from something other than Minecraft could make those fights much, much easier.
I headed home, slowly and carefully. I did make one slight detour, digging beneath the passage I'd met my first Enderman and destroying the spider-spawner from below. That registered as a hidden quest and boosted me by a level. Ears peeled and axe in hand every step of the way, I sat at the bottom of the Stairway to Hell and waited until I saw daylight before making the trip up.
Praise the sun! It felt like I'd been underground for days. My eyes watered as I raised my axe to shield my eyes, and stuck a thumb under my helmet to wipe the tears away.
-zorp-
"I FUCKING KNEW IT!"
Half-blind, I swung wildly at the approaching silhouette. A split-second before I connected, the shape flashed red, and my axe passed through it without effect.
Mercy invincibility, my brain supplied. Endermen were hurt by sunlight. Then the shape twitched, and I was knocked backwards.
-125HP
The Enderman froze for a split-second, veered left, then ran at me. I concentrated, the axe in my hand was replaced with an iron sword, and I charged. I swung wide, caring more about getting a hit in than doing the most damage, and I was rewarded with a synthetic grunt of pain.
-zorp-
Of fucking course.
The enderman was reduced to a black spec in the distance. I ran for home through the tunnel that connected my home and the entrance to the mines.
-zorp-
I pivoted. It came from behind, jaws opened wide, and I'd swear the thing didn't quite look like everything else in this world. It was also far too close, and I raised my shield to tank the hit even as I made a sloppy underhand thrust.
-40HP
We both took damage.
-zorp-
Oh come on.
-zorp-
-zorp-
-zorp-
It wasn't acting like any enderman I've seen, either. Teleporting so rapidly and randomly was-
-zorp-
-140HP
-zorp-
It teleported just as I turned and tried to retaliate. Dammit, what was I doing? I stopped and lowered the ceiling in front and behind me. No more of that. I reached for a steak to fuel health regeneration.
-zorp-
It appeared right next to me, between the barricades I'd put up.
-150HP
My back slammed into the tunnel wall, and I swung in desperation, slapping the enderman across the face with a side of beef. It didn't teleport away, and the food fell as I made a fist and just starting punching. Three, four, five hits.
-zorp-
I raised my sword and my shield. I waited. The sun rose, I heard animals making their scripted noises, and I waited. I had no water to pour out, so I waited. I couldn't risk the split-second I needed to switch items and seal the passage given the enderman's atypical behavior. So I waited. My arms were getting tired. I stretched a little to try to loosen my shoulders.
-zorp-
But I did it in such a way that the motion segued into a overhead cut. The enderman toppled like a felled tree as it let out a death-shriek.
*ping!*
In the face of death, you gambled and won. Your luck has increased by 3.
You have gained 2 levels.
"Status?"
195/610 HP
One, maybe two more hits more would have killed me. I walled myself off, tore into some food, and let myself sink to the ground. That wasn't normal. The Enderman had acted intelligently. So either someone pulled a prank on me, or minecraft was a real place and the Endermen were a lot more dangerous than the game let on, and that meant going after the Enderdragon as I was now would be suicidal. As an afterthought, I noticed I'd picked up two Eyes of Ender.
- - - - - - - - - -
The sun was low on the horizon, but I wasn't worried. I was getting out of here. The last diamond block was in place, I struck the flint, and the portal formed.
*ping!*
Hidden quest complete!
Brave new world.
You have built your first inter-narrative gateway.
You have gained 5 levels.
Damn.
"Observe."
*ping!*
Gateway (Minecraft)
Leads to ???
Harump. I stepped up to the portal, but paused, thinking back on when I'd first used the observe skill. I looked at world around me, concentrated…
"Observe!"
*ping!*
Minecraft
The beginning of your journey.
0/2 World quests completed.
4/??? hidden quests completed
Time remaining: 321 days, 4 hours.
I've spent less than two months here? It…felt like a lot longer. I double-checked my equipment. A stock of food, my bed, gear, weapons…I was ready for a long trip. Alright. Let's get out of here.
The passage was freezing, then boiling, then crushing, then pulling at my skin. I stepped out into daylight, in the middle of a forest. Things weren't all cubes here, thankfully. Wait, what was that-a person! Finally! I ran over immediately, trying to get his attention.
"Hello!"
When he turned around, I could see he was pixelated.
"They say there is a person who will tell you how to survive in this land... oh wait. That's me."
No.
"Observe."
Terraria
Like Minecraft, but a little more difficult.
Ok, a lot more difficult.
Seriously, you have to fight C'thulhu's wandering body parts and then kill his big brother.
0/2 World quests completed.
0/??? hidden quests completed
Time remaining: 364 days, 11 hours.
"Fuck."398QuantumshardFeb 5, 2017View discussionThreadmarks Welcome to corn-err-Terraria View contentQuantumshardFeb 5, 2017#7It turns out, I couldn't punch the Guide. Or axe him. I could scream at him easily enough, and it made me feel a little better. This world had boss mobs that would come at me through the walls, with little warning. The underground had explosive traps that could one-shot an endgame character in top-tier gear. And then there were those fucking medusa.
"Quests."
*ping!*
Kill the Wall of Flesh.
Kill the Moon Lord.
That's…not too bad, actually. I remembered most of how the game went, and the wall of flesh wasn't all that dangerous with the right gear. I was more worried about some of the common mobs. But I've never made it to the moon lord, so outside of a youtube play-though I only half-remembered, I didn't know what his deal was.
-plop-
I whipped around and drew my axe to find…a slime? It quivered and leapt. I stepped aside, let it land, that tore into it. It died in two hits. Ah, right. In Terraria, an iron weapon was a few steps up from the starter equipment.
Oh well, time to build another house, start to-blurkle.
The world spun, and I fell. There was a…a hum, in the back of my head, getting louder. It grew into a white noise, punctuated by sharp chimes and glossolalia that drowned out the world. I tried to scream, but nothing came out. It was…indescribable, and the noise leveled out slowly, but I could still hear that hum. No. I did not hear it. I felt it. In my bones. In the dirt I was clawing at. In the air I breathed.
*ping!*
New skill gained.
Mana awareness. (passive/active)
This skill renders the possessor aware of mana, and is a prerequisite for all other skills that manipulate mana in any way. The user can sense the flows of mana, and can recognize what is mundane and what is magical. Higher levels allow for the detailed analyzing of magical items, spells, and ambient conditions, among other things.
25% increased effect when active.
Mad laughter shook the world.
- - - - - - - - - -
I finished my second home. A quick 'observe' confirmed that the guide had claimed it, and I dropped my bed inside. Sure, I had enough wool from minecraft to make a bunch, but the…real-ness of my old bed was comforting. I needed to wash the sheets, though. I finished three more houses and planted a garden before I decided to head out. But two things first. This world's portal required a mix of gems, ores and hellstone. Difficult but not impossible to get, I'd handle it when I was ready. Otherwise…
"Status."
Name: T͂̑̏̍ͩͩ҉̦a̭̩͓̱̍ͦͮ̚͜k̳̤͎̟̀e̸͍̻̤̫̭̒͒ͣ̆ͩ̂n̘̊ ̗̗̗̞̋ͥ̀ͅa̱s̫̯͈̞͋̅̊̽ͨ̋ ̤̺͙p͏͖̩͉̜̩͎ā͉̫̋̅̏̀y͕̜ͯ̍m̬̞̘ͧͦ͋͌̍̚̚e̙̥̳̾̊̍͊̃ͦn̠̻͔̳͚ͣͯ̔̐ͬͮt̷͉͌̀
Class: Gamer
Level: 21
HP 650/650 (150 + 500)
MP 210/210
Str 65 (15 + 50)
Dex 60 (10 + 50)
Vit 65 (15 + 50)
Int 21
Wis 11
Luk 25
Unspent points: 35
Huh. Blessing of Steve was still active. Alright. I could train my physical stats the natural way, and while I had magic now, this wasn't a place where I could learn actual spells, only employ magical devices. I'd already tried all the gamer mana skills that I could remember, but I hadn't accomplished anything besides getting a meditation skill for mana regeneration and a note that I couldn't perform these actions. Sorry, overpowered protagonist. I can't follow in your footsteps just yet.
I do remember that Jee-han got special bonuses at certain milestones, and I was stuck in games with quite a bit of randomness in several aspects. I only hesitated a moment before spending most of my points.
Luk>>>50
*ping!*
The skill 'Favored of the Random Number God' has been created by luck rising to 50.
Chance of harmful random effects and events reduced by 25%
Chance of beneficial random effects and events increased by 25%
Loot quantity increased by 15%
Chance of 'rare' loot dropping is at minimum 5%
…
Damn. That…is going to make life so much easier, especially if I visit more videogame-style worlds in the future. It'll save me a ton of trouble here, no doubt. As for the rest of my points…well symmetry works, and I want to see what the bonus for wisdom will be once I have enough points.
Wis>>>21
Time to move out.
The first and most obvious difference was that this world was 3d, unlike the 2d game I was familiar with. I picked a direction and started out, occasionally putting up stone pillars with a torch indicating the way back to base. I poked through every nook and cranny, finding coins, rope, potions, throwing stars, a little ore, and other common, miscellaneous items I expected to find on the surface. I found an aglet to boost my movement speed, and a new slot in my inventory to equip it. But no minimap, I realized.
Stepping into a snow biome hit me with a sudden drop in temperature, and it took just a few seconds of walking away from the snow to feel warm air on my face. Weird. If is was the same way for the desert biome, exploring may be a little more difficult than I thought. Could I craft warm clothes, or would I have to loot a parka from a frozen zombie?
I skirted the edge of the biome, only stepping in when I found a patch of ice to harvest. It was slower going than I thought, and the air seemed to get colder over time.
*ping!*
You have been afflicted with the 'chilled' debuff.
All actions reduced in speed by 15%
Leaving this condition untreated may cause it to worsen.
Ok, time to go. I strictly speaking didn't need to ever visit an ice biome, except to search for certain items, none of which were absolutely essential. But the ice would come in handy.
I had arrived at the seashore just as the debuff wore off, and kicked awake the angler. I knew there were chests underwater that held some useful items, and I even had a potion of water-breathing. But I just wasn't confident enough to do this right now and settled for wading into the surf and hacking at the jellyfish that approached. I collected the small pile of coins, glowsticks, and a lucky drop, a jellyfish necklace, that would come in handy later. To my right was jungle, my left forest, and I let the higher-level area be for now. I managed to find some grenades just before nightfall, and quaffed a Recall potion. The world twisted, and I found myself next to my bed. The merchant had moved in, and I purchased some torches, fused them with the ice blocks, and quivered my new stack of frostburn arrows. They were handy things, and practically a requirement for fighting the Eye of C'thulhu.
I debated heading underground, and decided against it. There was still a lot of surface to explore and easy loot to find.
- - - - - - - - - -
I spent the night with my door barricaded, my buffs turned off, and training my skills. I gained a few levels of throwing mastery by playing with the shuriken I'd found, and eked out only a single level of meditation and mana sensitivity. I'd have to add windows and a back door, because I'd forgot to add a drawbridge and the zombies kept banging on my walls.
The next morning I realized another difference. Since I saw the world from a first-person perspective now, exploring would be much more difficult. Like Minecraft, I'd be digging blindly and hoping to hit something. Hopefully not a lava pocket. But the day's exploring was productive. I found an area of corruption, and surprisingly, crimson as well. Normally both wouldn't be in the same world. I also ducked inside the dungeon entrance, gripping a recall potion tight, and ran like hell with prize in hand.
Water bolt.
Pulling mana out of myself, pushing it through the book and feeling it beginning to take shape before it passed out of my senses and became something else...The feeling was indescribable.
*ping!*
A new skill has been created.
Evocation (active)
The practice of channeling mana through magical items designed to emulate a wizard's ability to shape mana into spells. With these items, users need not know the spell, or even have the skill to cast it themselves, so long as they can supply the item with sufficient mana.
Increasing the level of this skill results in more efficient mana transfer.
The quality of the item also modifies the resulting effect's power.
In other words, my powerset was telling me that I wasn't a real wizard yet. This game only had tomes, staves, and magical ray guns that the player channeled his magic through. I didn't know any spells, and apparently didn't yet have the skill to create new ones from scratch.
Speaking of, I knew what I needed to get next. A lot of explosives. Sadly, I didn't have the cash to buy a full stack of bombs, or even half a stack. That would make things a little more tricky. But if I pulled this off, I could speed things up and avoid a lot of potential misery. But first, I decided to stack the odds as much in my favor as possible. I spent the next few days exploring, mapping what turned out to be a roughly circular island surrounded by endless sea. I looted every surface chest I could find, and a few just below the surface, since I didn't want to risk the cavern layer and its insta-kill traps quite yet. I found a few weapons, though nothing spectacular, heading into a cavern netted me something I was a little confused to find. Since observe told me nothing I didn't already know, I tried to evoke it, and it shattered with a ear-piercing chime.
*ping!*
Hidden quest Alert: Have a heart
Scattered across the game world, items exist that would increase a character's maximum health. For you, they function a little differently. Shatter 15 crystal hearts and 20 life fruits to learn how.
Crystal hearts found: 1/15
Life fruits found: 0/20
I imagine there's a similar quest for the mana-boosting items as well. But for that, I've have to go out at night. I shivered a little and squared my shoulders. The boss mobs here wouldn't wait for me to get my act together. Do or die time. Building an arena to practice in was just my first step.
I left home before sunrise, stocked up with everything triple-checked. This world didn't have creepers, but I still expected to hear that hiss at any moment. For now, it was only the moans of wandering zombies and the silent flying eyes above me. The first zombie died to a water bolt. The spell had a hell of a kickback, and drilled into the zombie until it burst into a pile of gore. I kept moving and fired off a few more, taking a swipe at an eye that had swooped close. It lost HP and was knocked away, taking a familiar aimless path with wide arcs and slow turns. They'd only be a problem if I forgot about them.
I moved across the landscape, slaughtering mobs as I went. It wasn't hard, really, but the endless stream of enemies was nerve-wracking and mentally exhausting. Here's hoping I can visit a world where everything isn't trying to kill me next.
Richer and with a few levels gained, I arrived at the corruption. This place I knew well, and it was almost safe for what I had planned. Eaters of Souls floated out of the chasms, and I put them down as quickly as I could with a hail of frostburn arrows. My aim was improving, I noticed, not that they moved around all that fast.
When there was a lull in the number of enemies, I laid down platforms and lowered rope into the first chasm. I leapfrogged from platform to platform, killing, clearing, and laying more rope as I went, rappelling into the darkness. My eyes stung from the rapid cycling of descending into darkness and igniting torches, and I made myself a small room halfway down to eat, drink, and calm my nerves.
When I finally hit bottom, I saw the tunnels branch four ways, and reached into my inventory. I drank the only spelunker potion I'd found so far and hoped it would work. After a few moments, patches of sparkles appeared in my vision. Above, below, down side corridors. Focus. I removed a bomb from my inventory, walked over a small sparkle-patch that looked to be about the right size, and applied a little gel. Then I tossed it and ran like hell.
Safely behind an outcropping a safe distance away, I downed two Eaters with arrows, and went to check my work. The crater was a start, and I tossed in three more bombs before backing away.
Boom, boom, boom/crack!
*ping!*
"A horrible chill runs down your spine..."
I'd guessed right and shattered a shadow orb. Leaping down, I collected the musket and tested it out on the first mob I found. Not bad, and I added 'rifle mastery' to my list of skills. I'd done what I came here to do, but I was feeling bold so I picked a corridor and started exploring. The loot was nothing special, but I did snag a few more crystal hearts.
Once back home, I reflected that the whole ordeal was nowhere near as bad as I expected it to be. Sure, being inside a game and playing one on a screen are two very different beasts, but I suppose my meta-knowledge and experience in Minecraft had given me a leg up in this world. So I trained and exercised until the next stage of my plan. I didn't need the pop-up to tell what happened, considered the impact rattled the world and knocked me off my feet.
*ping!*
A meteorite has landed!
Time to run! To…wherever it landed. I confirmed my equipment and brought along as many sticky bombs as I could. The meteor had landed in a crevasse between two hills, and it took me the better part of a day searching the island to find it. I almost missed it, if not for a Meteor Head floating towards me. Unlike the game versions, these rose directly out of the meteorite ore rather than appearing from off-screen. Musket fire and frostburn arrows shot them down, and I traveled the perimeter of the crash site in a spiral, dropping bombs as I went to break up the dangerous ore for collection.
Eventually, the Meteor Heads stopped spawning and I scooped up all the ore I could see. I decided against just using a recall potion. I was feeling confident and in no rush, and that got me four fallen fallen stars that I immediately crafted into a mana crystal.
*ping!*
Hidden quest Alert: Wish upon a fallen star
Forged from fallen stars, these crystals would increase a character's maximum mana. For you, they function a little differently. Shatter 9 mana crystals to learn how.
Mana crystals consumed 1/9
I was able to craft two more one the way home. Normally, I'd max out my mana before even considering using waterbolt in a fight, but already having more mana than the normal Terraria maximum solved that problem. A trip to the forge later, I was wearing a spiffy new suit of Meteorite Armor and had a magic ray gun in hand.
*Ping!*
Careful planning has increased your wisdom by 1.
Good. Now I just needed to-
*ping!*
Slime is falling from the sky!
Damn. Should I? Deep breath. Yes. Ok. I can do this.368QuantumshardFeb 5, 2017View discussionThreadmarks Like a boss View contentQuantumshardFeb 5, 2017#8WHY DID I THINK THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?!
I ran while firing wildly. Behind me, making no sound, a giant blob of blue goo with a golden crown was doing its best to flatten me. The smaller slimes were a nuisance, trying to hem me in, slow me down. The campfires I'd placed around the landscape were slowly regenerating my health from the few hits I'd taken.
And then King Slime dissolved.
Wait, did I-
-150HP
Nope.
I was flat on the ground and being smothered. I felt the weight shake, lift, and I chugged a potion. The world vanished just before I was crushed again, and I shot up from the floor, tagged the nurse on the way out to be healed, and burst outside. A frostburn arrow set the bastard on fire. Ice. Whatever. I nocked another arrow. To quote a nazi bastard, 'it could be more on fire.'
*ping!*
Taking a beating has increased your vitality by 1.
Remembering to dodge the giant ball of slime trying to crush you has increased your dex by 1
You have gained 1 level.
Hidden quest complete!
Slay the King Slime, an optional boss.
You have gained 1 level.
Ow. Just, ow.
So that was a boss fight. It was…almost exactly like the game, otherwise. I collected the loot, shot the last remaining slimes, went straight to my room, stripped off my armor, and flopped into bed. I couldn't sleep, but dammit, I was going to TRY.
A few days later, the clock chimed 8:00pm. It was time to put these ingredients to use.
*ping!*
A new skill has been created.
Alchemy
The precursor to enchanting. When reagents that are suffused with high levels of mana are processed and mixed, natural spell patterns form out of the condensed mana. Indeed, ancient wizards learned many spells from observing that which already existed in nature.
Gear's good. Campfires lit. Potion of swiftness. Archery. Ironskin. Hunter. Regeneration.
I raised the object in my hand and crushed it. Booming laughter rolled across the landscape.
*ping!*
The Eye of C'thulhu has awoken!
As soon as it came into view, I realized something was off. Just like the Enderman that had almost killed me, the Eye didn't quite fit in with it's surroundings. It was…juicy. Almost smooth. And when I began shooting the damn thing, it reacted. The entire eye twitched as the first shots hit home, and little puffs of steam rose from ugly pock-marks where the beam struck. As I switched to my bow to throw some debuffs on the Eye, I got the distinct impression this thing was of a different nature than everything else I'd seen so far. But what or why, I couldn't guess.
Smaller eyes budded off from the main mass, and I switched back to my space gun, the beam piercing the cannon fodder and hitting the Eye. After a few minutes of running and gunning, the Eye paused and rippled. Damaged layers of flesh and charred slime were shaken off to scatter messily, and I knew right then, beyond any doubt, that there would be more things in this world and others that would not follow the Games I knew.
For a moment, the Eye's pupil stretched into a cat-like structure, and then it split down the middle, revealing two rows of jagged, asymmetric teeth. The mouth opened wide, and vomited twenty or thirty smaller eyes at me. All I could do was run and thin the herd as the Eye followed the mass of mob spawns.
The second irregularity I noticed, though not till the fight was over, was the deep furrow the Eye had left after trying to swallow me whole. For a little while, at least, the dirt looked perfectly natural, and even smelled like fresh soil. It was the strongest and cleanest scent I'd found since coming here, but after a few hours, the smell had vanished, and the damage to the landscape had changed to match the squarish, artificial look of the rest of this world. It would be maybe a week before I even considered going after the next boss, the eater of worlds. I considered it the easiest one of them all to deal with, but the changes to how I was now inside the game would likely throw in some wrinkles to the fight. It was finishing a quest that gave me the push me to go after him, though.
*ping!*
Hidden quest complete: Wish upon a fallen star
Forged from fallen stars, these crystals would increase a character's maximum mana by a fixed amount. Instead, they have made your body more efficient at storing mana.
Maximum MP increased from (int x10) to (int x15)
"Status!"
Name: T͂̑̏̍ͩͩ҉̦a̭̩͓̱̍ͦͮ̚͜k̳̤͎̟̀e̸͍̻̤̫̭̒͒ͣ̆ͩ̂n̘̊ ̗̗̗̞̋ͥ̀ͅa̱s̫̯͈̞͋̅̊̽ͨ̋ ̤̺͙p͏͖̩͉̜̩͎ā͉̫̋̅̏̀y͕̜ͯ̍m̬̞̘ͧͦ͋͌̍̚̚e̙̥̳̾̊̍͊̃ͦn̠̻͔̳͚ͣͯ̔̐ͬͮt̷͉͌̀
Class: Gamer
Level: 27
HP 690 (190 + 500)
MP 315/315
Str 67 (17 + 50)
Dex 63 (13 + 50)
Vit 69 (19 + 50)
Int 21
Wis 23
Luk 50
Unspent points: 30
Heh. Let's find out.
Wis>>>50
*ping!*
A new skill has been created by Wis being raised to 50.
Overcoming oneself
Duration of debuffs affecting the player reduced by 20%
Duration of buffs affecting the player increased by 20%
10% Base magic resistance
10% Base resistance to mental effects
Wow. Now that I thought of it, I'd never developed any skills of elemental or physical resistance, no matter how much I'd been knocked around. If I didn't develop damage immunity like Jee-han did after getting injured by something, I'll have to seriously consider raising wisdom even higher. Depending on how many magical worlds I visit, Wis might be as important as raising Vit to increase my chances of surviving whatever might be thrown my way.
Int>>>24
And a little mana boost, for what I was going to do next. After that, I'd be shooting bullets or arrows as my preferred weapons, and I didn't care to screw around with the best-slash-only strategy I knew. But today, for the Eater of Worlds?
Gear checked. Campfires lit. Slime mount mounted. Potions drank. Book in hand. Orb shattered.
*ping!*