Coming to terms with myself felt like swallowing gravel, and I mean the big crunchy pieces, not the fun sandy kind.
After Hailie said her piece, and after I sat there pretending I was okay with it, I finally forced myself to lean back and breathe.
I just need to… breathe, while battling inner demons of biblical porpotions, and seeing the source of the problem still sitting at the table with us.
Jealousy, insecurity, that crippling little voice telling me I'm going to lose everyone eventually like I always do, but at least… I finally admitted this much:
I hadn't been the best friend to Hailie, matter of fact, I left her hanging for way too long, and the playtime she spent with her little group probably surpassed mine. She was right, I prefer to play alone, and the fact is… She's a healer just because I coerced her to.
