When Shinji was told this was where his master's family lived, he imagined something a lot worse than what he was first met with. Of course, he did not find being dropped three floors and breaking his butt on the ground pleasant, but he was imagining something more like monsters and ancient horrors wandering around every corner, like demons, but unlike the demons in the demon realm, they would have a personality to match their nightmarish appearance. Instead, he got dropped out a window and made to entertain a little girl who he was almost sure wasn't just some unnaturally short adult or a monster wearing human skin.
"I can't believe I was scared of entering this place!"
Unfortunately, he would come to eat those words less than a minute later as what he assumed was either an experiment that escaped from some mad scientist's monster lab or one of his master's relatives, appeared and then proceeded to bury him in mud and try to eat him whole. If Takeru hadn't stepped in at the last moment to destroy it, he would be digesting right now.
"Phew! Hey thanks man! For a moment there I thought for sure I was a dead man!" Shinji said, feeling grateful that unlike a certain master, the man wouldn't opt to dig him out of the creatures innards after it swallowed him.
As one could imagine from his bleeding head injury, Shinji's bar for what would be considered 'kindness' from anyone within this estate was incredibly low.
"If you were really struggling with a little unkillable mud then you need more training!" Nox said, appearing right behind her disciple.
"WHOA! Boss! Don't sneak up on me like that! You scared the shit out of me!" Shinji said, clutching his chest.
"Really? I thought that brown on your pants was mud! Well, whatever!"
"What?! No, that's not what I meant, and you know it!" he complained.
"Anyways, you sit here and try to regain control of your bowls while mamma Nox talk business with the wife-beater over there! Kay!" Nox said, as she pushed Shinji back down on his sore butt, indicating she didn't want him to get involved.
"Ouch! Huh? Hey, is it just me or is the something moving through the grass!" Shinji asked, as he noticed the mud that used to be the monster that nearly ate him a moment ago moving.
"Hm? Yeah, that's normal! Don't worry about it!" Nox said nonchalantly, as they watched what appeared to be the thing that was just blown to pieces a moment ago pull itself back together in a very literal fashion.
"That does not look any kind of normal to me! That thing had been blown to pieces, why isn't it staying dead?! What the hell is that thing?!"
"This my Slowpoke, is called a 'Spirit Guardian'! An undead elemental ghost whose body is entirely made of physical elements from the environment! They have no organs, no spirit core, and even attacks aimed at the soul will have little effect due to a special quirk! Now, no more questions until later!"
"But-?"
"Ap-ap-ap! I said no more questions mister, or do you want to cuddle with uncle pain stick while you wait!" Nox shut him down.
"…!"
Knowing full well never to take her threats lightly, no matter how weird or unthreatening her tone of voice or choice of word may sound, Shinji promptly kept his mouth shut.
"Good! Now wife-beater!" Nox said, turning her attention to Takeru.
*Splat*
Just then, the city lord flicked a tiny ball of brown light into the center of the spirit guardian which caused it to explode a moment later in every which direction, a piece of which hit her mask. However, moments later, as if time was going in reverse, all the mud retracted towards the floating ball of light before solidifying into one solid perfect sphere.
"A Spirit Guardian? So, is that what this thing is called? So, is it out to avenge whoever it was guarding?"
"Who knows? Oh wait, I do! Moving on! So, tell me? Have your decision begun to sway regarding the deal I offered?"
"I-!"
"*Sniff* TALL LADY!"
Just as Takeru was about to tell her to drop it, Hikari who had been clinging to his leg in fright ran over to Nox.
When afraid, people, especially children, will desperately grasp and cling to whatever comforts they can in the hopes that it keeps them safe even if that safety is only in their mind, like hiding under a blanket, or clinging to those they deem reliable, like their parents in times of crisis. Normally, to Hikari, this would be her father, however, in recent times, there is someone else who to Hikari might seem even more safe than him.
Throughout her short life, the only person who she could really rely on for anything was her father, as she had been locked up in an empty room, unable to leave, unable to play, and unable to socialize. The Spirit Guardian only seem to need two things to manifest, dirt, and moisture.
The outside world is full of mud and dirt. Toys can break or get dirty over time through continues use. Even her interactions with the servants and guards were limited due to the fear that, after doing their duties throughout the day, they may track dirt or moisture into her room, which could potentially allow the spirit guardian to take form. The amount does not matter as it can simply manipulate what little there is to make more over time by destroying surrounding materials and syphoning the sweat of Hikari or any other person in the near vicinity to make more. This takes time of course, which is why it is manageable should one regularly clean their surroundings while limiting the creation of filth like dust, food crumbs and so on.
Because of this, in the past, the only reliable figure in her life which she could properly interact with was her father, the only person who had the power to deal with the spirit guardian should it manifest, but she rarely saw him due to his work taking up most of his time. With little in terms of playmates, limited options of toys, and a father absent for most of the time, Hikari, in the name of safety, had been robbed of the rights most children her age treats as a matter of course. So, is it any wonder she had been fed up and tried to run away.
The night when she was kidnapped and held ransom, though it was the first successful escape attempt, it was far from her first. However, when she got in trouble, taken far from home and locked in a scary, cold and dark cage, it was not her father that came to her rescue. It was not her father that carried her out of the dark. It was not her father who made the scary things go away, and it was not her father who gave her the greatest gift she had ever received, the freedom to leave her room, to go outside, play in the dirt and explore the world outside her bedroom window.
She might not have known Nox for very long when compared to her father, but one must remember, Hikari is a child less than 10 years of age. To children, even just five minutes could feel like an eternity, and while she may not have known Nox for very long, during her short time as her bodyguard, she would spend nearly every moment of every day, from when she awoke in the morning, to when she was tucked in at night, and those happy days she remembers have been etched in her memory forever, and she had been incredibly upset when she was suddenly taken away from her due to her potty mouth. Hikari may not have had a mother, but to her, Nox had become the closest she has ever had to one.
"Hey, kid! How come you're crying?" Nox said as she lifted her into her arms, while patting her on the head.
"*Sniffle* Th-The monster! I-It *Sob*came back *Sniffle* even though I wore the thingy!"
"Oh? Well, that's cuz this thingy on your head here *Crumpled* is all out of juice!" Nox said as she crumpled the paper talisman taped to her head.
"What?"
"Your daddy didn't tell you that, huh. Typical adult behavior! Always leave the kids out of the loop cuz they think they won't understand!"
Once Nox uttered those words, Hikari gave her father the stink-eye in the form of a very cute grumpy face before continuing to hug Nox for comfort.
"Uh!"
As Takeru looked upon this scene, he couldn't help but think of his dead wife, imagining a world in which she did not pass away. Had she still been alive, this is exactly how he'd imagine it. Gently consoling their daughter while occasionally making snide remarks towards any who might have gotten on her nerve. It was as if his fantasy had been layered over reality, and it is only now that he began to recognize it. The reason his little girl was clinging to this foulmouthed menace that constantly caused trouble.
"A mother, huh."
"Huh? What was that wife-beater? I only have time to stick around for a couple more minutes so, if you have something to tell me then say it while you can! Clock is ticking!" Nox spoke, holding out her pocket watch to illustrate her point.
Biting his lip so hard he drew blood he whispered an apology under his breath.
"Forgive me Hana. Sorry, Xing."
"So, you gonna say something or can I go?"
"Are you leaving?!" Hikari asked, looking about to cry as she didn't want to separate from Nox.
"I mean, yeah! If your dad ain't willing to take the first step to save his marriage, then I can't really do much at this point as his marriage counselor!"
"A marriage what?"
"Fine! You win, but I'm not doing, you know! That! With you!" Takeru said, blushing beat red while trying to avoid the subject of sex in front of his daughter.
"And what would 'that' be, exactly?" Unfortunately, Nox, being slightly dense and mad, was not entirely sure what mistaken conclusions he had made about the deal she was offering, and hence she did neither hesitate to ask, and even if she did, she might still not care.
"Don't make me say it in front of her!"
"Say what? In this kind of deal, it's important to make the details clear, else you might find some nasty surprises later! How am I supposed to know what I can't and can make you do if you won't tell me!"
"…! A three letter word that starts with S and ends with X!" Takeru said, banking on Hikari not knowing the word he was trying to avoid.
"Huh? Oh! Oh! OH! My! Fuck! What the hell man!? That is not at all what I was asking!"
"Wait, it's not?"
"Starts with…"
"NO! Geez! What's wrong with you? I mean, come on! You even knew I was married and everything!"
"And ends with…"
"Well, you said all that stuff about fate, making me yours from the first moment you saw me, while getting uncomfortably close, staring intently into my eyes, and even touching my face."
"THAT WAS MEANT AS A FORM OF INTIMIDATION! I was invading your personal space while glaring you down to establish dominance, revealing that it was all a premeditated-OH FORGET IT! Do we have a deal or not! I'm already 5 minutes late to my next appointment if the answer is no, and 3 if its yes!" Nox said, giving up on trying to explain what she was trying to do versus what it was perceived as.
"Fine! Deal!"
Embarrassed and upset at this misunderstanding that could have easily been avoided had Nox maybe worded things a little differently or had Takeru not overthought everything she said, he grabbed her hand to seal the deal at the soul, giving him a brief flash of her inner-child, scarred and bloodied from head to toe. And the moment it ended.
"OH I GOT IT! SEX! That's the word, right?"
Hikari, who had been pondering the simple three letter-word puzzle her father had deployed to get around having to even just utter the word in the presence of his daughter who is still far too young to understand it, had just solved it because she wanted to prove she wasn't stupid.
"…"
"…"
"That's right! Sex was the thing your pervy dad had on the brain! Now here's a lollipop for guessing correctly!" Nox said, giving Hikari some candy for uttering a word which's meaning she has yet to comprehend.
"…! I can't believe I ever thought you might be good for her!" Takeru muttered as he watched the woman he was considering to become his daughters surrogate mother-figure.
"You say something?" Nox asked.
"Didn't you say you could kill that thing once and for all?" Takeru said in an annoyed tone as he pointed towards the spirit guardian who had long since made a new body from the surrounding dirt, after its previous body was turned into a round stone, dry to the touch.
"Oh! HEY! MUD-LADY!" Nox shouted, as she picked up Hikari who was busy enjoying her hardened candy on a stick.
"Huh?"
"CATCH!" Nox said as she tossed the little girl at the pile of sentient mud.
"…"
"…"
*Splash*
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU-!"
"Quiet down and stay where you are! That's an order!" Nox ordered with the soul contract to keep Takeru from rushing over to grab Hikari out of the mud.
"*Muffled*"
Although the soul contract kept him from speaking or taking another step, it did not stop him from grabbing the masked woman within arms reach and shaking her so hard he ripped her arms off.
"Oh come on! To soon! I literally lost one of those a week ago! And calm down! She's totally safe! See!" Nox tried to gesture, forgetting that her arms were missing.
Looking over, passed out in fear with a lollipop in her mouth Hikari laid quietly within the muddy arms of the spirit guardian. However, unlike with everyone else it had gotten it's dirty hands on in the past, there was a gentleness in the way it handled her. It did not stretch out its mouth to swallow her whole, nor did it force it's viscous body down her throat to suffocate her, and it didn't sink her tiny form into its body to encase her in its muddy body. It just gently rocked her to sleep like she was a baby while gently patting her head. One would think being in the arms of a mud creature, it would leave one covered in dirt, but that was not the case. As a spirit guardian with the ability to manipulate the elements, every time it made physical contact, not only did it not leave any dirt behind, any filth it touched would be absorbed into it's body mass, hence when it rubbed her cheek, stroked her hear, and so on, Hikari only became cleanlier with every touch.
"Yes, Slowpoke! You can ask your questions now!"
"So, how come that thing isn't murdering her?"
"Same reason I call my new slave over here a 'Wife-Beater'!"
"*Muffled*"
"You can speak now by the way!"
"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!"
"Hehe! Honestly, I am really wondering what ever made me think you had any half-decent skills of observation! I mean, I've been dropping hints since day one, and even when I let that Spirit guardian name tag slip, you still didn't put it together!"
"What are you talking about?"
"Tell me wife-beater! What is an undead?"
"Would you just answer my question?"
"Oh, don't get your panties in a wash! I'm gonna, but I haven't done some teaching in a while so humor me! Now could you tell me what-?"
"STOP PLAYING AROUND! THIS IS NOT A GAME Y-!"
*Bonk*
"AAAAAAAHHH!"
"Okay, so while we wait for the wife-beater to process his first time with teacher's assistant pain stick *Bonk*! Let me hear your thoughts Slowpoke! What are undead!"
"Huh? Uh, they are zombies and ghost of people that died and refused to pass on due to some vengeful grudge or regrets, right?"
"Close, but no!"
"Ugh! What was that?" Takeru muttered after finishing processing the pain.
"First time experiencing the pain stick, right? Word to the wise! Worry! It only gets worse from here on out, so keep your head down whenever you can!" Shinji said, giving Nox's new slave a pat on the shoulder and a blank soulless stare that said more than any words ever could.
"But, Hika-!"
"There's no rush! Trust me! Even if the world was about to end, a guardian spirit would never kill its host! You got nothing to worry about! In fact, you never did! Well, except for maybe yourself that is, but we'll get to that later."
"Host?"
"Now answer me Wife-beater! What are undead?"
"Uh…"
"…"
While an awkward silence fell over them, Shinji, was gesturing from behind Nox for Takeru to just play along, else she'll smack him again. Not wanting to experience that fresh hell once again or ever, Takeru took Shinji's advice.
"Undead are evil spirits of the dead who are the enemies of all life, and wanting nothing more than to take the life of the living!"
"Pft! Hahahaha!"
"Did I say something humorous?" Takeru asked Shinji, who also just shrugged as if saying he had no idea either.
"It's always amazed me! The stereotypical bull everyone always seems to buy into with little to no basis other than, 'Duh, that's what everyone else think'! No, undead are people! People whose souls linger! Not just because they have a score to settle, but because they can!"
"Then how come that one over there was trying to eat me a minute ago?"
"Slowpoke, try to remember! What's the difference between the physical brain and the soul?"
"The soul has a hard time remembering things?"
"Right? And the undead, being undead, often don't have a functioning brain barring certain outliers like True Vampire, which by the way the Palace of the purple palace is one of if you didn't know."
"What?"
"Wait, vampires are real?"
"Sure is! And as it turns out, my blood specifically is apparently classified as a highly addictive drug to them, something that caused me a bit of trouble in the past, but enough about failed romance! Undead, as Slowpoke said, has terrible brains, which basically means they all have the memory of goldfish! Goldfish who's memory often keeps resetting to the last moment they had a functional brain, or in other words, the moment they died! Understand?"
"Hm? So, they are-!"
"They tend to be violent because they're in a panic thinking they're about to perish!"
"Correctomundo Wife-beater! Try thinking a bit faster next time Slowpoke! Truth is, most undead aren't even aware they've died! They just think they're about to and lash out in a wild panic at whoever or whatever might be in their vicinity, while trying to do whatever it is they wanted to do in life, often hyper focusing on the desires in their final moments. People with strong wills, desires, or rather, people with strong souls will always linger behind, whether they just lay there in peace thinking that they are about to ascend to an afterlife that doesn't exist on loop until they wither into dust, or get up and start slashing and hacking at people they think are trying to kill them, that is what most undead are. There is no such thing as evil undead, because there is no such thing as evil! Anyone who talks of evil and justice is either talking out their ass or a moron who can't distinguish reality from fantasy. They do not exist, there is only misunderstandings, selfish desires, the good, the bad and the people who apply them to create the chaos we live in."
"Then who, or what is that thing caressing my daughter?"
"You know, spirit guardians are extremely rare types of undead! I once had a friend who-!"
"Wait, hold on a second?! You have friends?" Shinji said, genuinely shocked.
"Yeah, shut up! Now as I was saying! I once had a friend who had two! The first was her biological father! When she was but an infant, he had been pelted with arrows to a point he was more arrows than man, and then carried her through a blizzard, protecting her with his final breath! His soul had attached itself to her, becoming a vicious beast of darkness with the skull of a deer, that would kill and devour anything that might threaten her life. Her second, was her adoptive mother, who I actually had a hand in making! She had sacrificed herself buying time for her to escape the bandits who attacked their home, only to be turned into a slave and eventually dying right in front of her eyes after a decade long rescue mission gone wrong. She became an ice woman. Her mind had been more intact due to my intervention, but all the same, should anything threaten her, she'd summon forth a blizzard that would turn most int a solid block of ice in seconds. Do you see where I am going with all this?"
"They are basically undead spirits?"
"No."
"Man! Nobody understand where you try to go with these lectures! So, could you just say i-!"
"They were both parents protecting their child!"
"Huh?"
"See, he gets it! You see, Guardian Spirits are part of a special category of phylactery undead, which, rather than attaching themselves to their dead rotting corpse like most common undead do, they latch onto things of great sentimental value, like a precious family heirloom, a precious memento, or a person!"
"Like her child!"
"Seems like you finally put the pieces together Wife-beater!"
"Hehehehe! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Is he okay?" Shinji asked Nox as Takeru started laughing hysterically with a mad expression on his face.
"Of course! Can't you see that giant grin on his face! Seems like he's more than okay if you ask me!"
*sob*
"And now he's crying!"
"Tears of joy no doubt!"
"So, you gonna tell me why he's gone mad?"
"Huh? Oh, haven't caught up yet? So, basically, this dude's wife died while giving birth to that kid over there, when he was off to war, and soon after his undead wife, the mud-lady over there, became a dual element water-earth guardian spirit which started hanging around their kid. Unfortunately, he did not get that memo and has spent like however many years the kid has been alive beating her up, thinking she was planning to attack the kid, and after x number of years of beating his undead wife by mistake and like half a year of me taunting him with the apt nickname of wife-beater, he finally put it all together!"
"*Sob* Hana! Even in death you wouldn't leave me alone! I swear, you got to be the most stubborn person in the world!"
"Oh, I wouldn't approach her if I were-!"
*Screech*
*Boom**Swoosh*
Just as Takeru approached his undead wife as she cared for her daughter, he took one step to close and with a monstrous screech, she unleashed powerful jet-stream of mud that blew him right through Xing's house and straight into a mountain and out the other side.
*Sigh*
"Whoa! What just happened?"
"Spirit Guardians are all extremely overprotective and insanely overpowered! The dad spirit I mentioned earlier could bight through adamantite and dragon's scales like they were butter and would go on a violent rampage every time he popped out, killing both friend and foe alike! It got so bad, his host mistook his blessing as a malicious curse designed to make her miserable! You could basically consider them as rabid immortal bodyguards that'll attack pretty much anything that gets a little too close to the person they are guarding!"
"Oh! Wait, so, is that why it was trying to eat me? I was just standing a little too close to her daughter!"
"Pretty much! That said!"
"Hey, didn't you just say to stay away from it?" Shinji asked, as he suddenly saw his master walk right up to the mud monster that just shot a man through a mountain in one hit.
"See, the thing is! The Guardian Spirits can be tamed to not harm certain individuals!" Nox said, as she walked up to the Guardian spirit who, instead of attacking like she did before, only seemed to inch away from her in fear, while clutching Hikari as if Nox was about to take her away.
"Nah! I got what I wanted, so I won't keep you from her anymore!" Nox said to the Guardian spirit as it slowly began to lower its guard.
*Bubble*
"See, Slowpoke, Guardian Spirits have two major weaknesses! One is that though you can blow 'em to pieces all you want, and they won't truly die, but, if you inject them with elemental energy different from their own like so!"
*Screech*
*Swoosh*
"Whoa! Almost got me there! Sorry, I just wanted to use you as a live example!" Nox apologized after nearly being sent flying like Takeru did earlier.
*Bubble*
"Anyways, as I was saying earlier, though you can't really kill em this way, you can cause them a lot of pain and discomfort if you directly inject a different elemental energy into em! Of course, this method still falls a bit short of the pain stick, but if you just want to cause them to flinch or your about to be swallowed whole and want it to spit you out, it works great!"
"…! So, how exactly do you know that?"
"That friend I talked about, back when we first met, she accidentally summoned it in my face and well, let's just say, he never tried to eat me again! He also seemed to get super shy whenever I was around too! I wonder why?"
"I can think of a few reasons! Anyways, the other thing!"
"What other thing?"
"…!"
"Oh, wait, the weaknesses, right! Come to think of it, forgot to mention the second condition for becoming a Guardian Spirit! I'll take that last! Okay, so the second weakness has to do with why most soul based attacks also don't really do squat against them. See, their souls aren't actually inside the elemental form you see here! That is just a puppet it makes to express itself. No, the soul of the Guardian Spirit is located inside the phylactery, or rather inside the person they're guarding! Their host!"
"So, that pile of mud is just a type of spirit-based remote-controlled golem?"
"Now you're getting it! It's something kind of similar to Wimps grandpa connection deal, where whenever her grampa golems kick the bucket, they can just hop on over to her soul instead! Only this is a lot safer where they don't need to jump ship to control their dolls, and just stay inside the person whose soul they're occupying!"
"But doing that, doesn't that mean-?"
"Yep! When the host dies, so does the Guardian Spirit."
"Ugh! Why'd she attack me?"
"Probably cause you hit her so much, she started remembering your beating's despite the goldfish brains!"
"Uh! So, how long do you think it will take for her to remember me apologizing?"
"About as long as you smacked her around times how vengeful she is!"
"…! You wouldn't happen to have a method to improve her memory?"
"Yeah, but that kind of bonus is only given to my employees of the month and your already pretty far behind on that one! Anyways, I'm pretty sure I'm right, but I'll ask anyways. Your wife, before you started beating her, she was a water-earth dual cultivator!"
"Could you not phrase it like that, and yes! She was!"
"Thought so! The second condition for becoming a Guardian Spirit, other than great emotional attachment to their host, is that they also need to be infused with large amounts of elemental energy which is what will determine what element they use! The dad spirit guardian I mentioned before had been propped full of insane amounts of darkness energy before he died by the insane cult his baby mama was leading, which probably evaporated his insides soon after death. And the mother was someone I had artificially created using the frost element! So, judging by the fact she is made out of a liquid sludge, it made sense she combined water and poop to become a diarrhea woman after she died!"
"Could you not phrase it like that when referring to my wife?"
"Nope! Cuz that's what she is! A hot, steamy, and runny pile of sentient crap!"
*Bubble*
"Oh, quiet you! You've already forgotten what it was I said!"
*Bubble*
"Oh, your hubby over here called you a pile of diarrhea is all!"
"HEY, NO I DIDN'T! THAT WAS YOU!"
*angry bubbling*
"Trying to push your crimes on to me! Have you no shame!"
*Angry bubbling*
"HEY! I already have enough on my plate to make up for! Stop trying to add more grudges on to my plate!"
"Well, you're the one who kept calling her a hideous monster all this time!"
"STOP PUTTING WORDS IN MY MOUTH!"
Just then, Nox pulled out a recording crystal that replayed Takeru saying:
"Thank you! With this talisman, my little girl will finally be free of that hideous monster! *Rewind* that hideous monster! *Rewind* hideous monster! *Rewind* hideous monster! *Rewind* hideous monster!"
*Furious bubbling*
"Hehe! Honney! Sweety! Love of my life! I can expla-!"
*BOOM*
Sometime later after Takeru was beaten black and blue by his wife.
"You know, you didn't have to pull out that recording!"
"I know! But I just love contradicting people with their own words!"
"Does picking on me make you feel better about yourself or something?"
"A little! Yes!"