Malrick quickly departed the Void Land.
Before leaving, he made sure to track down the long unseen Deadpool Corps, who were now living in what had become Battleworld. Along the way, he spotted many familiar faces going about their lives.
The X Men were there, along with Magneto. He also saw Spider Man from Holland's universe, currently bonded with Venom.
Countless people whose worlds had been destroyed now continued their existence on Battleworld, the realm Doctor Doom had established.
When Malrick finally found the Deadpool Corps, they were hosting a barbecue in the ruins of a village, completely at ease.
It had to be said, this absurd and unkillable group was astonishingly resilient.
Even after the Land of Nihility had been shattered once by Malrick and Infinite Ultron, and later reconstructed by Doctor Doom, the Deadpool Corps were still thriving.
The moment Malrick appeared, they greeted him enthusiastically, hurling loud, chaotic chatter his way and asking whether he had seen Peter recently.
Malrick calmly told them that there were many Peters currently staying at the TVA.
That single sentence sent the Deadpools into inexplicable excitement. Without hesitation, they followed Malrick back to the TVA.
What followed was pure disaster.
"Help, help, what are these lunatics doing?"
"Hey, hands off, seriously, back off!"
"I regret everything, I just want to go home!"
The Spider Men, specifically the various Peter Parkers, fled down the long TVA corridor in complete disarray.
Some ran along the ceiling, others clung to the walls, while a few collapsed on the floor in sheer despair.
Chasing them was a pack of Deadpools, howling and laughing as if they were predators let loose.
"Charge, boys!"
"That Peter with the dad bod is mine!" shouted Skull Head Deadpool, wobbling as his head propeller spun wildly.
"I call dibs on the next one!" yelled Kid Deadpool, waving his swords with far too much enthusiasm.
"Peter, wait, I just want a hug!" Ronin Deadpool called out in exaggerated sincerity.
Another Deadpool had already latched onto a Peter who had completely given up, shaking him excitedly.
The moment the Deadpool Corps laid eyes on the Spider Men, the TVA descended into total chaos, sounding more like a high security asylum than a time authority.
Inside the command room, sealed off by reinforced alloy doors, things were deceptively quiet.
Black Strange and Jarvis silently watched the surveillance screens.
Gwen and several non Peter Spider variants stood nearby, cold sweat running down their backs.
"Jarvis," Black Strange said slowly, "is this what you meant when you said bringing in Deadpool would calm the Spider Men down?"
Every Spider present turned to stare at Jarvis in horror.
Jarvis smiled politely. "Mr. Strange, I only said that with Deadpool present, the Spider Men would stop bothering others."
He gestured toward the screens. "Judging by the results, they are quite occupied."
He even turned and nodded cheerfully at Gwen, Spider Ham, and Dinosaur Spider Man.
All three visibly shuddered.
Dinosaur Spider Man let out a terrified shriek and hid behind Spider Ham, then pushed Spider Ham forward to better shield himself.
"You see," Jarvis said calmly.
Black Strange had no response.
Just then, the screens erupted with even louder shouting.
A portal had opened in the corridor.
The Peters scrambled toward it, firing webs and shouting in relief.
"Someone opened a portal, we're saved, hurry!"
In the chaos, a middle aged Peter stumbled when Skull Head Deadpool rolled into his path, sending him crashing to the floor.
"You're not getting away that easily," Skull Head Deadpool laughed.
"Oh no," the fallen Peter cried.
"Peter!" Another Peter skidded to a stop and turned back. "I'll help you!"
"Don't, just go," the middle aged Peter shouted desperately. "Tell Mary Jane I never stopped loving her!"
"Don't give up," another Peter yelled. "Think of your family!"
He fired a web, trying to pull his friend free.
The Deadpool Corps swarmed instantly, blocking him.
"First one there wins!"
At Kid Deadpool's shout, multiple Deadpools piled onto both Peters in a chaotic heap.
The remaining Peters glanced back, horror etched across their faces.
"Run," a younger Peter shouted. "Don't waste their sacrifice!"
"We'll remember you," another cried dramatically.
They bolted for the portal.
It wasn't that they couldn't defeat Deadpool. It was that engaging with him at all felt like losing by default.
"Almost there, keep going!"
Just as they reached the glowing orange square, a man in a red spandex suit stepped out of the portal, holding a small, ugly dog.
He wasn't wearing a mask. His scarred face was fully visible, eyes closed as if savoring the moment.
He casually closed the portal behind him.
Leaning against the wall, one hand on his chin and the dog tucked under his arm, he struck an exaggerated pose.
"Oh wow," he said lazily. "B15, that's cold. Locking me out like that."
"All I did was pat Jarvis on the back. Was that really worth cutting off my Time Pad?"
He straightened, scratching absentmindedly before wagging a finger.
"But listen up. This time, your friendly neighborhood Deadpool is not forgiving anyone so easily."
"If you want my help, Jarvis, College Peter, Adult Peter, and Middle Aged Peter all have to say, 'Deadpool is the best.'"
He swayed slightly as he spoke, clearly enjoying himself.
The Peters froze.
They stared at him as if they had just seen a nightmare made flesh.
They exchanged frantic glances, silently signaling to one another.
Without a word, they began climbing the walls, carefully sneaking around Deadpool, desperate to escape while he was distracted.