Levi Warwick stared at the wizard, an old man in robes who looked like he'd just watched the universe rewrite itself, and asked himself a simple question:
When the hell did this all go wrong?
The answer wasn't today. Today was just the punchline to a joke that started a very, very long time ago.
One hundred fourteen thousand, one hundred fifty-five years ago, to be exact.
Back when he was still just Levi Warwick: famous web novelist, chronic procrastinator, professional caffeine addict, and full-time literary chaos gremlin.
Back then, life had been good. Really good. He was making more money than he'd ever dreamed possible by typing out dramatic internal monologues and morally questionable anti-heroes for readers who probably needed therapy more than entertainment. His most recent series, My Demon Boyfriend Sues the Gods, had hit number one on every platform that mattered. There were fan arts. Fan clubs. Conventions where people dressed as his characters and asked him to sign merchandise that got progressively more uncomfortable as the day went on.
Someone had even sent him a custom body pillow once.
He really didn't like thinking about that.
That particular day, Levi had been doing something completely harmless.
He'd finished his latest novel.
A standalone piece. A work of what he genuinely believed was tragic genius. A story so emotionally devastating that he'd actually gotten teary-eyed reading his own ending, which he knew was pathetic but couldn't help. It was, as the kids said, fire. Pure art. The kind of writing that made you question your life choices in the best possible way.
After one final polish and a short victory dance in his chair that involved more flailing than rhythm, he'd clicked Send, emailing the manuscript off to his publisher for review.
That was the last normal moment of his life.
The very second his finger left the mouse button, everything went black.
Not dim. Not blurry. Not a gentle fade into unconsciousness.
Just gone.
Reality turned off like someone had unplugged existence itself. No swirling portal. No mysterious truck appearing out of nowhere. No dramatic tunnel with a light at the end. Just click, and the universe decided Levi Warwick didn't get to participate anymore.
Then came the light.
And the books.
So many books.
When Levi opened his eyes, he wasn't in his apartment. He wasn't anywhere he recognized. He was lying flat on his back on a marble floor so perfectly smooth it looked like it had been maintained by obsessive angels with nothing better to do for eternity.
Overhead, a stained-glass ceiling shimmered with constellations that moved. Not drifted. Moved. Breathing, shifting, rearranging themselves like they were alive and watching him.
Everywhere he looked, bookshelves rose into impossible heights. Not regular library rows, either. These shelves curved and twisted in ways that made his eyes hurt if he looked too long. They floated in some places, defied gravity in others, and seemed to stretch on forever in every direction.
Everything glowed with soft, pulsing light.
The air smelled like old parchment, candle wax, and something sharp. Electric. Magic, probably, though Levi had never smelled magic before and wasn't sure if that was even possible.
It was completely silent except for the sound of his own breathing.
Levi sat up slowly, his head spinning. He rubbed his eyes, half-convinced this was a dream brought on by working three days straight with no sleep.
When he opened them again, he saw the cat.
A single black cat sat directly in front of him, perfectly still except for the slow curl of its tail. It was round, well-fed, and had enormous yellow eyes that stared at him with the kind of judgment only cats could manage.
"Meow," said the cat.
Levi stared back.
"Okay," he muttered, mostly to himself. "Either I've completely lost my mind, or this is the weirdest dream I've ever had."
The cat blinked once, slowly, as if considering whether he was worth its time.
"You're real, right?" Levi reached out carefully, half-expecting his hand to pass through empty air.
He touched the cat.
Warm. Soft. Definitely solid. Also extremely smug, if a cat could be smug.
It purred.
"Right. Real cat. Real place. This is fine. Probably fine." Levi looked around at the impossible architecture surrounding him. "Definitely not fine."
The cat tilted its head.
Then, without any warning at all, a voice spoke directly into his mind.
System binding successful. Greetings, Host.
Levi jerked backward so hard he nearly fell over. "What the hell!"
He scrambled to his feet, spinning around. No speakers. No screens. No visible source for the voice.
Just the voice itself, clear and crisp and unnaturally cheerful, echoing inside his skull like it had always been there.
"Did I just..." His voice cracked. "Did I just get isekai'd?"
He waited for an answer, but none came.
"Oh, that's perfect. Just perfect. I write this stuff for a living, and the universe decides to make it real. Of course it does."
A blue screen materialized in front of him, floating in the air like it belonged there. It pulsed gently, radiating smug satisfaction.
Levi crossed his arms. "Alright. Where am I?"
You are in the Library of Noctis. The Library that holds all forbidden knowledge in the Universe.
"Yeah, I got that from context. The whole 'forbidden knowledge' thing is very dramatic. Very ominous." He gestured at the endless shelves. "Do I get a power? Some kind of cheat ability? A harem?"
Silence.
He raised an eyebrow. "Nothing? Okay, let's try this again. What is this place? Why does it look like someone gave an architect unlimited resources and zero adult supervision?"
The Library of Noctis is a cosmic repository of all knowledge deemed too dangerous, too powerful, or too idiotic for any rational world to allow.
"Idiotic knowledge. That's a new one."
It exists outside time and space. A detached realm that selects its caretakers based on very specific qualifications.
Levi felt a spike of hope. "So I was chosen because of my wisdom? My inner strength? My pure heart and boundless potential?"
No. You clicked 'Send' at the exact microsecond the dimensional slot opened.
Levi stared at the screen.
Blinked.
Kept staring.
"You're telling me I got kidnapped into magical librarian hell by random chance?"
Correct.
He let out a long breath through clenched teeth. "Perfect. Just perfect. What happened to destiny? Fate? Ancient prophecies? You're saying I won a cosmic lottery I didn't even know I'd entered?"
The selection rate was 0.000000000000000004%. Congratulations.
Levi dragged both hands down his face. "I should feel honored. Instead, I feel like I got hit by a truck made of bad luck and terrible timing."
Also, congratulations. You have been successfully bound to your new role.
"Great. Wonderful. What exactly is my role?"
Your role is to be the Librarian.
"Yes, I gathered that. You've mentioned it several times now. But what does that actually mean? Do I shelve books? Fight demons? Solve riddles?"
The Librarian is the keeper of balance. The recommender of tomes. The quiet authority in a realm of knowledge.
Levi narrowed his eyes. "That sounds like something you'd read on a motivational poster in a failing bookstore. Can you be specific?"
The Library is self-cleaning. Self-repairing. It organizes itself. You, Host, must simply remain available for patron visits and recommend appropriate books.
"That's it?"
Yes.
"No cleaning? No fighting? No sealing ancient evils?"
Not unless you recommend the wrong book to the wrong person.
Levi paused. "Wait. What happens if I do that?"
Consequences.
"You're not going to elaborate, are you?"
No.
He paced in a small circle while the cat wove between his legs like it was supervising. "So I'm stuck here forever recommending books to random people? No way out? No way home?"
Food will be provided.
"That's not what I asked."
Golems will bring meals.
"Still not what I asked!"
One is approaching now with tea and toast.
Levi stopped pacing. "Does the golem at least have a personality?"
It is a rock with legs.
"Fair enough." He hesitated, then asked the question that had been building like a storm in his chest. "Can I go back to my world?"
The screen didn't respond immediately.
For several long seconds, Levi stood there, heart pounding, hoping against hope for a yes or even a maybe.
Then the text appeared.
Regarding whether the Host may return to your original world...
Levi leaned forward. "Yes?"
...
His hands clenched into fists.
I won't tell you.
Levi exploded.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!"
He actually looked around for something to throw before remembering he had standards. Barely.
"That's your answer? 'I won't tell you'?! That's not mysterious, that's just cruel! What are you, a sadistic game master?"
System reserves the right to withhold information that might damage Host motivation.
"I'm going to damage your code."
System has no physical form.
"Then I'll find one and set it on fire."
He paced faster now, gesturing wildly while the cat watched with what could only be described as amusement.
"Do you know what I was doing before this? I was sending a manuscript! That's it! And now I'm trapped in a magical library with a sarcastic AI and a cat who won't stop judging me!"
The cat purred louder, clearly enjoying his suffering.
System detects emotional instability. Recommending calming material: Book titled "So You've Been Abducted by a Cosmic Institution: A Beginner's Guide to Eternal Employment."
"That's a real book?"
Yes. The author died on page 42.
"I'm going to die here, aren't I?"
Possibly.
"Fantastic. Love that for me."
Levi collapsed into a nearby beanbag chair, which immediately molded itself to his body like it had been waiting its entire existence for this exact moment of despair.
He stared up at the moving stars on the ceiling.
"System?"
Yes, Host?
"I hate you."
Acknowledged.
.
.
.
Levi lay there for what felt like hours but might have been minutes. Time felt weird here. Everything felt weird here.
Finally, he sat up. "Okay. Let's recap."
He counted on his fingers.
"One: woke up in a magical library. Two: bound to a sarcastic System that won't answer basic questions. Three: can't leave. Four: System is definitely evil."
Host summary: 3 out of 4 correct. Acceptable.
"I'm one existential crisis away from a complete breakdown."
Noted.
The cat, which apparently had a collar that read "Luna," stretched and knocked a floating candle with her paw. It didn't fall. It just bobbed gently in the air.
"Fine," Levi said, standing up with the energy of someone who'd accepted their fate. "You haven't given me a quest yet. I know there's a quest."
The screen pulsed.
Once.
Twice.
Then, with dramatic flair:
MAIN QUEST ACTIVATED.
"Here we go."
Objective: Read all the books in the Library of Noctis.
Levi blinked. "What?"
Time Limit: None.
Reward: The first patron will arrive.
Penalty: None. You simply remain here. Forever.
"Hold on." He stood up fast enough to make himself dizzy. "You want me to read every single book in this place?"
Yes.
"How many books are there?"
14,387,021 as of this moment. More are added periodically as the multiverse generates new forbidden content.
Levi's mouth opened. Closed. Opened again.
"You're telling me I have to read over fourteen million books before anyone even shows up?"
Correct.
He gestured at the impossible shelves. "How am I supposed to reach them?"
Floating platforms.
"How do I know which ones are safe?"
You don't.
"How long is the average book?"
Varies. The shortest is five pages. The longest is four hundred seventy-two thousand pages. It's bound in screaming leather.
"Screaming leather?"
It screams when touched. Or insulted.
Levi sat back down with the weight of someone who'd just lost an argument with the universe.
The cat jumped into his lap, purring.
"So," he said slowly, "if I want anything to happen, I have to read fourteen million possibly cursed books that may or may not drive me insane?"
Correct.
He looked up at the screen with pure exhaustion in his eyes.
"You could've just killed me."
Where's the fun in that?
Levi took a long, slow breath. "System?"
Yes, Host?
"I genuinely, deeply hate you."
Noted and appreciated.
He stood up, walked to the nearest shelf, and grabbed a book. The title read: "My Dad Built a Soul Prison: He Is the Strongest Person in the World."
"A novel. Great. Love that."
He opened it.
The first page whispered something in a language he didn't understand but felt in his teeth.
He closed it immediately.
"Normal. Very normal. Not concerning at all."
Luna hopped onto the table beside him and began grooming herself with the confidence of someone who owned the place.
"You're not going to help, are you?"
"Meow."
"Right. Supervision only."
He sighed and looked at the endless shelves.
"Let's get to work."
.
.
.
Three Hours Later
Levi set the book down carefully.
Behind him, a notification appeared:
Books Read: 1 / 14,387,021
Estimated Completion Time: 8,000 Years
Progress: 0.00000695%
Levi didn't see it.
But somehow, he felt it in his bones.
And deep in the heart of the Library of Noctis, something ancient stirred.
The shelves whispered.
A single book spine pulsed with faint light.
Waiting.