Love, Laughter, and the End of the World
Mei Mei stood over Gojo, her arms crossed, black crows circling lazily in the sky behind her like the final punctuation on a long, gruesome war.
Gojo blinked up at her, still sitting on the ground, bruised, battered, and covered in curse blood. His uniform was basically rags. His blindfold had long since vanished, revealing those unmistakable Six Eyes that still sparkled… mostly with chaos.
Mei Mei exhaled slowly, tilting her head.
"You should be thankful. If I didn't show up when I did, you'd be a kit-kat by now."
Gojo's grin slowly faded.
He nodded solemnly. "You're right."
A beat passed.
Then he grinned again, too wide.
"...But like, I'd be a cool kit kat, right? Like, maybe a tuna with white hair?" He flopped his arms like fins.
Utahime facepalmed so hard it echoed.
Mei Mei groaned, but couldn't help the chuckle. She reached into her robes and—with an audible slap of paper—produced a thickly stamped scroll, sealed with a crow-feather wax insignia.
Gojo blinked.
"What's that?" he asked, leaning forward with curiosity.
Mei Mei turned to the gathered crowd of warriors—sorcerers still catching their breath, many bloodied, bruised, or leaning on one another—and raised the scroll.
"Witnesses, please," she declared dramatically, her voice silk and sly. "This here is a binding contract signed two months ago in front of me, gojo and yours truly. A certain Utahime Iori stated, very confidently I may add—'If Gojo somehow defeats Sukuna, I'll marry the idiot.'"
The silence that followed could've shattered glass.
Gojo slowly turned his head to Utahime.
Eyes wide.
Grin even wider.
His aura practically glowed.
Utahime stood stiff, arms folded, a deep red flush across her cheeks.
"I said that because I thought he was going to die!!" she shouted, voice shrill with embarrassment.
Gojo wiggled his eyebrows.
"But I didn't," he purred, leaning in with exaggerated dramatic flair. "So now~… you gotta marry the idiot."
Utahime pointed a finger straight at his forehead.
"You're lucky the world just ended or I would have killed you myself."
Mei Mei casually unrolled the scroll, held out a pen, and said, "Sign here, Satoru. Make it official. Legally binding."
Gojo grabbed the pen like a sword.
In big, obnoxious letters, he scribbled:
Satoru "Hero Husband" Gojo.
Utahime sighed.
Shoko was wheezing in the background.
Maki muttered, "What the hell even is this post-apocalyptic romcom."
Yuta shrugged. "Honestly? I'm happy for them."
Megumi, sitting in silence nearby, looked up at the blue sky.
"Maybe we all deserve a little bit of ridiculous happiness now."
Gojo looked up from the scroll and at Utahime, his voice—suddenly—quieter.
Softer.
"…You helped me stand up when I couldn't. When everything nearly ended."
He smiled—not his usual smugness, but genuine warmth.
"Guess I owe you more than a ring."
Utahime stared for a second.
Then rolled her eyes.
"Just shut up and recover, idiot."
Gojo leaned back on the ground, arms behind his head.
"World's saved. I got the girl. And I still look good doing it."
He winked at the sky.
Then closed his eyes with a grin.