Akira sat through class without hearing a word of it.
He stared at his desk, his cheek still faintly sore, looking thoroughly irritated. He didn't even notice when the break bell rang. Students began standing up around him, but he remained where he was.
"This sucks."
Selena's voice slipped into his head.
"What sucks?"
Akira answered immediately.
"Why am I being punished again? I didn't do anything wrong this time. I even saved the day."
"Saved the day?" Selena asked. "You destroyed Itona's tank."
Akira complained indignantly.
"That's collateral damage."
Selena replied flatly.
"You were supposed to save the tank, not use it as a weapon against the weasel."
"I was improvising." Akira's thoughts sounded righteous, but then he sighed again. "But that's not what I'm talking about. Why did Erika punish me again?"
Selena sighed as well.
"She didn't punish you for breaking the tank. She's mad because you didn't tell her about the looking-up-skirts plan."
Akira explained defensively.
"I have no interest in looking up skirts."
"Oh, really?" Selena's tone turned amused. "Not even Erika-chan's skirt?"
Akira answered confidently.
"I know what's under her skirt…"
Silence.
Absolute silence.
"Wow, brother," Selena said at last. "If Erika-chan heard that, I don't think you would survive."
Akira's thoughts immediately tripped over themselves.
"Wait. That's not what I meant. I mean, I know that too, but I saw her laundry—"
He stopped.
"…No matter what I say, it sounds bad."
"Yes," Selena said. "Not just Erika-chan. Any girl would kill you."
Akira slumped a little in his chair.
"I was telling the truth. I'm not interested in that."
"Brother." Selena's voice softened, but only slightly. "She isn't mad about that. She's angry because you didn't tell her."
Akira asked in confusion.
"But she watched the episode back then too. She already knows what happened."
Selena explained with a sigh.
"That's not the point, brother. Sometimes you need to tell the person you're with what's going on, even if you think it's unimportant. That's called communication."
Akira frowned.
"How do you know anything about relationships? You're singler than I am."
Selena sounded oddly distant.
"I tried watching anime for relationship advice. Then I realized most of those relationships work on misunderstandings. After that, I tried to learn more on Reddit."
Another silence.
"…Is that good?" Akira asked.
Selena's voice turned serious.
"For the sake of your own sanity, please don't go there."
Akira answered just as seriously.
"Okay."
Selena coughed.
"Anyway. Communication is important. Next time, don't always run off on your own. You're in a relationship, after all. With great relationship comes great responsibility."
Akira stared out the window.
"What am I, Spider-Man?"
A pause.
"…Well. I'll try my best."
Selena smiled.
"Good."
Just then, Kayano's voice cut across the classroom.
"What?! 'Justice'?! I totally thought it was 'Masayoshi'!"
Akira finally turned his head.
Several students were crowded around Kimura's desk, staring at him as if he had just confessed to a secret identity.
Kimura looked down at his desk.
"Everyone's generous enough to read it that way, yeah. I even asked Koro-sensei to call me that."
Sugaya nodded.
"Sure made us nervous hearing your name at the entrance ceremony."
"Yeah, I guess." Kimura's voice dropped. "I hate the thought of another public execution when we graduate. And since they're my parents, they'd just smack me if I complained about it. They didn't think about how much a kid could get teased at school."
Hazama walked over, hands in her pockets.
"That's parents for you."
She stopped in front of him, her expression dark.
"Me, with this face… I'm Kirara. Kirara. Do I look like a Kirara to you?"
Kimura leaned back.
"N-No…"
"My mom lives in her own little fantasy world," Hazama continued. "But if something happens that she doesn't like, she goes into screaming hysterics. That's the kind of stress-filled house I grew up in. No way was I going to grow into my adorable little name."
Karma strolled up beside them.
"You've sure got it rough, saddled with such weird names."
The entire group turned to look at him.
Seriously?
Karma blinked.
"Oh, me? I actually rather like my name. Guess some kids inherit their folks' strange tastes."
Akira raised a hand.
"I actually like the name Justice. Think about it. If I had a name like that, I could say things like 'Justice is here,' or 'I am Justice,' openly."
Everyone stared at him with the same thought.
What is he up to now?
Erika turned to look at him from behind her notes.
"Your name is already weird enough."
"I mean, it's good, but…" Akira leaned back in his chair. "I want something cool. Like Vengeance. Or Destroyer. Even something like Vader. Or Optimus Prime."
Selena's voice slipped into his mind.
"If you want, you can name your children those kinds of names."
Akira answered without thinking.
Out loud.
"Yeah, I will name my children that—"
He froze.
The words were already in the air.
The classroom plunged into silence.
Akira turned, very slowly, toward Erika.
Her expression had gone from calm to furious in less than a second.
"You are going to name our children what?"
"Wait—I was just—" Akira's brain stalled. He couldn't mention Selena in front of everyone. "It wasn't like that. I won't name them that if you say no—"
Erika said furiously,
"There is no way I am naming my children Vengeance. Don't even think about—"
Erika stopped.
She had said it.
Our children.
My children.
The class inhaled as one.
"Ohhhhhh!"
"They're already talking about children!"
"So bold already!"
Koro-sensei clasped his tentacles together, his eyes sparkling with the worst possible sincerity.
"Akira-kun, Erika-san, I know you love each other, but having children is too early for you!"
Erika's face went scarlet.
"Wait! It's not—that's not what I meant—!"
Then her anger snapped back toward the actual source of the disaster.
"I will deal with you later."
She dropped her face behind a textbook.
Akira sat very still.
Inside his head, one thought burned with perfect clarity.
Sister. Mark my words, vengeance will be mine.
The silence that followed was unbearable.
Nagisa coughed and seized the first escape he could find.
"Oh, right. Akira-kun. Speaking of names, you never told us your real name, did you? What is it?"
Akira blinked, then shrugged.
"Hoshino Akira is my real name, though."
Karma smiled.
"Sure. You must have registered that name on paper. But I'm sure you have a different one too, right?"
Akira was quiet for a moment. Then he smiled, a little too pleased with himself.
"Fine. Let me tell you first. Akira is my name, but I have another name too. It would be too boring to just say it, right? How about this: if you guys figure out even a part of my other name, I'll tell you the full thing."
Maehara leaned forward.
"Sounds fun. Can you give us a clue or something?"
Akira tapped his own chest.
"My name. Hoshino Akira. That's already a clue."
The class lit up at once. Chairs scraped as everyone immediately started throwing out guesses, trying to figure out what the clue meant.
Erika lowered her book just enough to lean toward him and whispered,
"…What do you mean, your name is a clue?"
Akira whispered back,
"Think about it. Which is the brightest star in the night sky?"
Erika's eyes widened.
"…Oh."
Koro-sensei raised a tentacle.
"Sensei is not satisfied with how I was named either."
Sugino blinked.
"Huh? I thought you liked 'Koro-sensei.' Kayano named you that."
"I do like it," Koro-sensei said. "That's why I am not satisfied."
He turned toward the two adults at the back of the room.
"There are still two people who won't call me by that name."
Karasuma and Irina both looked away at the same time.
Koro-sensei continued. "Karasuma-sensei just says 'hey' or 'you there.' We're not some middle-aged married couple!"
Irina folded her arms.
"But it's embarrassing for a full-grown adult to go, 'Koro-sensei~.'"
Yada lifted her head.
"Then why don't we call each other by code names instead?"
Isogai turned to her.
"Code names?"
Yada explained.
"Yeah. We make new names for everyone. Like the assassins we met on the island. They called each other by code names to hide their real ones. Don't you think it's kinda cool and assassin-y?"
Koro-sensei's face lit up.
"I see! Good idea!"
He produced a box from somewhere inside his robes.
"Here's what we'll do. Write down your suggestions. We'll call each other by the names I pull out of this box."
Papers started moving immediately.
Okano smiled.
"Sounds fun. But do we have to think up names for everyone?"
Muramatsu was already scribbling.
"I'm writing down whatever comes to mind."
When the last slip was in the box, Koro-sensei held it up.
"All right… before we pull, using real names is forbidden all day today!"
Everyone screamed.
"Whaaaat?!"
Koro-sensei reached in.
"Now then. Let's start with Karma-kun."
The paper came out slowly.
"Karma-kun's code name is… Semi-Senioritis."
A ripple of agreement went through the room.
Karma shrugged.
"Not a bad one."
Koro-sensei kept pulling names in attendance order.
Sugino nodded.
"Baseball Geek… Makes sense."
Yada slumped over her desk.
"Scrunchies and Boobs. Why?"
Okano's head snapped up.
"Why is mine Amazing Ape?!"
Kayano's scream shook the windows.
"Forever Flat!! Whose idea was that?!"
Chiba stared at the name silently.
"Dating Sim Emo Protagonist."
Kimura looked betrayed.
"Justice? Wait. Why is mine my real name?"
Hayami's voice dropped.
"Tsundere Sniper. I will find out who did it."
Nagisa put his face in his hands.
"…Why is mine Gender?"
Koro-sensei reached in again.
"Now, Akira-kun's code name is… Professor Husky!"
The class looked at Akira.
Most of them nodded.
Yeah. That makes sense.
Akira sat up straight.
"That name makes no sense. First, I am not a professor. I am still a student. Second, why a husky? At least make it a wolf or something!"
Nakamura waved a hand.
"Well, you are too intelligent, so professor is fine, I guess."
Kayano tilted her head.
"As for husky… it suits you better."
Fuwa counted on her fingers.
"Huskies are smart, cool, and extremely dramatic. Just like you."
Selena's voice slipped into Akira's mind, far too pleased with herself.
"Brother, I know you know this, but Sirius is a dog star, not a wolf. So dog suits you better."
Akira immediately launched himself at Erika.
"Erika, look! Everyone is bullying me!"
Erika sighed and patted the top of his head.
"There, there…"
The entire class had the same thought at the same time.
Yep. Definitely a husky.
Koro-sensei was already pulling the next slip.
"Nuruhuhuhu. Next is Erika-san."
He unfolded the paper.
"Erika-san's code name is… Handler Alpha!"
Erika blinked.
"Handler Alpha? Why?"
Nakamura pointed at her hand, which was still on Akira's head.
"I mean… what you're doing right now."
The class looked at the two of them.
Yeah. That definitely makes sense.
Erika stared at the ceiling, still patting him, and accepted her fate.
Koro-sensei continued.
"Ritsu-san's code name is… Box O' Moe."
Ritsu tilted her head on the screen.
"What does Box O' Moe mean?"
Hara answered without looking up.
"Probably exactly that."
Koro-sensei finished.
"And finally, Itona-kun's name is… Picture Book Graduate."
Itona frowned.
"What even does that mean?"
Koro-sensei clapped his tentacles together.
"Now all the students are finished. Let's go for the teachers."
Karasuma's head lifted.
"Wait. Teachers get code names too?"
Koro-sensei explained.
"Of course. Otherwise the teachers will feel left out."
Karasuma looked at him.
"We don't."
Irina cracked her knuckles.
"I swear, if they don't give me a good name…"
Koro-sensei pulled out a slip.
"Irina-sensei's code name is… Bitchy Vitchy!"
Irina stood up.
"All right, that's it. Give me the box."
She grabbed a handful of papers and flipped through them before freezing.
"Wait. Why do all the names have 'bitch' in them?"
Koro-sensei was already reading the next one.
"Karasuma-sensei's code name is… Da Densest."
Karasuma frowned.
"What does that mean?"
The class answered him only with their eyes.
Definitely Da Densest.
Koro-sensei walked back to the front of the room.
"Fine. Since everyone has their code names, today everyone only needs to use them."
Akira raised a hand.
"Koro-sensei, what about your code name?"
"Oh, mine?" Koro-sensei sounded delighted. "Sure. I'll tell you mine."
He turned to the blackboard, wrote with a flourish, then spun around and struck a pose.
"Please call me this from now on. Prince of the Fateful Eternal Wind."
Every student in the room pulled out a gun.
"Why do you get to pick such a fancy-pants name?!"
"And what's with that smug look?!"
Koro-sensei waved his tentacles.
"Aw, come on. Why not? Just for one day!"
The class opened fire.
"Octopus of the Idiotic Perverted Chicken!"
Koro-sensei dodged them.
"Huh? Octopus?!"
And so, for the rest of that day, Koro-sensei's code name became Octopus of the Idiotic Perverted Chicken.
---
Inside the principal's office, Asano Gakuho and Asano Gakushuu stood facing each other.
The principal's smile was thin.
"So. How is the second term coming? Of course, 'poorly' isn't an option in my son's A Class."
Gakushuu answered without hesitation.
"It's going smoothly. I'm thoroughly handling any students who lag behind, even slightly. I'll train everyone up even higher with an eye on the midterms."
"How encouraging."
Principal Asano picked up a basketball from beside the desk.
"However… the students are still talking about you ranking third in the first term."
He turned the ball once in his hands.
"Because you were still inexperienced."
He threw it.
Gakushuu caught it cleanly against his chest.
"I'll squash them," he said. "As one of the strong."
He threw it back.
The principal caught it as if he had never doubted he would.
"Naturally. Not having students in the roles of the strong and the weak would run counter to my educational principles."
His eyes sharpened.
"Allow me to give you some guidance, for your own sake. About the one standing at the peak. The leader."
He bounced the ball once.
"First, consider where and when you want to win. Then consider how you will use loopholes in the rules to make the best use of the pieces you hold."
He rolled the ball away across the floor.
"A leader's aptitude. Without that, you'll never best me, Asano."
Gakushuu watched the ball stop against the wall.
Third place.
Class E.
The white-haired transfer student who had taken first without even looking like he was trying.
His jaw tightened.
"All right."
He turned toward the door.
"I'll show you my aptitude, Mr. Principal, sir."
He walked out.
The basketball stayed where it had been left.