Drowning under the pressure of yearning to know, one may stab themselves in the throat and twist the knife by asking questions that have no answer.
More questions lead to more pain. Is it worth seeking answers, knowing they may be worse than the ache of ignorance?
Motionless, Kaya saw only the luminous shine on the steel door. She felt herself dragged into its world.
The hum of the waves faded. Her eyes submerged into the door's metallic sheen, flickering with the pulse of her heart.
It called to her. Magnetic. Monolithic. Monstrous.
The faint glint of its mystery clouded her thoughts, grasping her, refusing to let go.
Then, the sound of the surface came again. Louder this time—
"Kaya, wake up!"
A voice pierced the illusion, snapping her back to the quiet deck. She caught her breath, like surfacing from deep water.
"You can't keep doing that, Kaya. It worries me," Malik said.
"Huh? Oh." She blinked, shaking her head, struggling to clear the trance.
Malik gave her a look.
"Come on, Kaya, join the conversation. Don't you want to hear the crew's old stories?" Kamil said, trying to lighten the mood.
"Yeah, come on." Amaya added with a smirk. "We were just talking about when Kamil tried to fight four Sklaves at once, and then got whooped."
"Yeah, let's not talk about that, shall we," Kamil mumbled, rubbing his temples.
A small laugh slipped from Kaya's lips. Her eyes softened, though quiet. The burden she carried felt lighter as she allowed herself to live in the moment.
I should enjoy this bonding time. It might take my mind off that door.
The laughter continued around her.
The group cracked up, the noise warm and genuine, like a family. She let out a true smile for the first time in days, wishing she had met these people earlier.
Yet behind that smile, the door remained. Looming in her mind, ticking like a clock.
Waiting.
The laughter hadn't faded when a loud bang echoed from the corridor, followed by two chaotic voices yelling over each other.
"You actual idiot!"
"Don't touch my f**king wrench!"
Zayne sprinted down the stairs first, tall, with a grown-out military haircut, barefoot, wielding a mop like a greatsword.
Behind him scurried Lias, wearing a black hoodie three sizes too large, long dark red hair covering one eye, pale complexion, eyeliner, and jet-black nail polish.
He held a hissing soldering tool like a flamethrower.
Zayne darted toward Malik, comically ducking behind him despite being taller.
He whispered loudly, "Yo, Malik, back me up."
Lias hissed, "It's not nail polish! It's anti-corrosive arc-metal gloss, you mop-wielding cretin! I was tweaking the railgun's frame, and you wiped it down like a janitor."
"And then you vandalized it with a label saying 'BEWARE: MAY SUCK THE SOUL OUT OF YOU'"
Zayne peeked from behind Malik, "That's called accurate branding, d**kweed."
Lias snapped, "Oh, that's it, you mother-"
Malik stepped between them, raising his hands, barely containing a laugh. "Ladies, we were just finally acting like a normal crew."
"Yeah, well, tell him he can't just walk into my workshop with his mop like it's some exorcism," Lias said, polishing the welding tool.
"Bro, it smelled demonic in there. I had to clean it."
"Sorry not everything smells like flowers, prick. They're bullets."
Amaya facepalmed. "Great. The circus parade is here."
Kaya nudged Kamil. "What's going on with them?"
Kamil chuckled, "That's our entertainment."
Malik tried stepping aside, but Zayne clung to him. "Don't abandon me, bro. You said you'd take a bullet for me, remember?"
"Metaphorically bro."
The crew burst into uncontrollable laughter. Zayne patted Malik on the shoulder. "If that quiet kid tries anything with his welding torture device, tell my mom I love her."
Lias smirked, "Yeah, tell his mom I 'love' her too."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Children," Malik said, "you don't want another strike from Amaya."
Amaya crossed her arms, foot tapping. They dropped to their knees, frantically repenting.
"Please forgive me, sir- I mean-"
"F**k! I mean, ma'am, madam."
Lias turned. "Seriously?"
Amaya glared. "Apologize."
They stood, gagging.
"I apolo-"
"God, I feel like I'm gonna vomit," Zayne whined.
"Say it."
". . . I'm sorry, bro." They said in unison.
"Ugh. I said it. I need a shower," Lias muttered.
"Now hug it out."
"Nah, that's too far," Zayne said.
"Yeah, no way," Lias agreed.
Amaya glared again. "You just made a bad first impression on your new crewmate." They turned to Kaya, who smiled nervously and waved.
"Hey, I'm Kaya," she said, her eyes shifting to a gold tint.
Lias shook her hand, stepping aside. She scanned his thoughts.
He's just thinking about welding. Impressed by my firm handshake for my size.
Zayne grinned, shaking her hand. "Hey, weren't your eyes brown a second ago?"
"You're the first to notice. It's my Kolxayne."
Malik blinked, "What's a 'Kolxayne'?"
"You seriously don't know? It's when—" Zayne started, before Lias kicked him.
"Ah, we'll talk about it another day," he said.
Kaya noted how Zayne's thoughts took time to form.
His mother. She reminded him of his mother.
"She looks like my mom. I miss her. It's been so long." She read.
Kaya didn't mention it. It wasn't the right time.
They seem carefree, but behind the jokes, they're empty.
A voice breaks her train of thought.
"Yo, Malik, want to go fishing with us?" Zayne asked.
"Yeah, give me a minute." The other two left, and the silence returned, washing over the deck like a tide.
Kaya blinked, "They're . . . interesting."
Malik chuckled, "Yeah, they're my brothers. Dysfunctional, feral, dumb, but they're my best friends."
Kamil whistled, "They love Malik like a brother. You three, that's something real."
Kaya smiled as Malik waved goodbye. Amaya caught her look.
". . . So, you like him, huh?" Amaya teased.
"Huh?" Kaya froze.
"It's obvious. He's a ghost with a pulse. Hard not to be curious."
Kaya lowered her voice, "I can't read him, but something pulls me like an invisible string." She sat down legs crossed in front of the wooden railing as she spoke.
Sighing, Kamil sat down next to her, contemplative. "Malik is a strange kid. Sure he's got manners unlike them, But deep down? He's hiding somethin', somethin' he don't know about."
Amaya sat down to join the discussion, "That boy grew up under Cyrus which makes sense why he's polite, but he lost his first crew when he was small. People just like us gone like that."
"He doesn't remember much, Or maybe he does . . ."
Kaya looked down in shame. "You think he's hurting?"
Kamil exhaled, "Yeah, I do, the kid's crying to himself at times, I hear muffled noises, trying to not wake us up, it saddens me, and he endures it. Although . . . that may be only one piece of the puzzle." He pauses.
Continues, "He never makes it about himself, always with a smile. Most people fall inward when they break . . . he fell outward, in his own misery that he shuns."
"It's just . . . I read all three of their minds, inside their masks, they're crying, they're like a broken record."
"My reading said a lot about Zayne and his mother, forgive me if its a sensitive topic." Kaya closed her eyes.
Amaya spoke seriously, "Zayne misses her, and since he got drafted he hasn't seen her since." She said in a monotone manner.
Her body language speaks only regret.
Feeling down, Kaya lays her back on the wooden floorboards sighing away in solace.
"Say Kaya, your mind reading, I've noticed, why have you only read everyone here but me?"
"Its because I trust you, I guess."
"From girl to girl, I know you have trust issues Kaya, at least make a good lie."
Kaya looked down at her feet, expressionless.
"And I find it odd that you seem to have an affinity for the one guy you cant read. Its kind of ironic." Amaya lightly grinned.
"I understand, I know I cant see what he's thinking, but I feel solitude around him, A peace that gives a warm hug. I've never felt that before. That peace makes me count on him."
She pauses with an inhale.
"Do you think I can trust him?"
Kamil paused, then scanned the motion of the waves for an answer.
He sighed, "You already do. Question is, do you want to trust someone you can't understand, or does not knowing feel safer?"
Amaya added softly, "Sometimes, the people we trust most are those we least understand. It doesn't make it wrong. Maybe it'll feel real . . ."
Kaya nodded, nearly lost in thought.
She whispered, "Real."
The silence settled again.
This time, it wasn't just Kaya.
It was shared.
. . .