"Why… are you still here?"
"Hmm? Where else would I be, dear?" Ashen tilted his head innocently.
A complicated look passed over her face before it hardened into a cold look. it something Ashen did not think he would ever see on her.
"Do you not understand…? I already told you that I hate you. You have nothing left here. Leave."
"But I already have you, hon." He smiled faintly, completely unconcerned.
"..."
She looked at his face in silence before a ruthless expression surfaced. "No, you don't."
Ashen could see the mana in her veins rush toward her brain in slow motion. He could probably stop what she was about to do by knocking her out.
He did not.
As her brain shut down and she dropped, he only kept looking.
He had known from the very beginning. If he wanted a Seraphine who no longer sought death, the first step was simple: show her, beyond denial, just how futile her choices truly were.
And how did one prove that?
By letting her walk that path over and over again.
There was a saying… repeat the same action endlessly while hoping for a different outcome, and you've reached the peak of foolishness.
A faint smile tugged at his lips.
'Then let me see just how far that foolishness of yours can go, darling~'
*
1302
"I hate you!!"
*
1303
"Leave me alone!!!"
*
1304
"Stop it, please…"
*
1305… 1306… 1307…
Somewhere along the way, a wave of dizziness slammed into him, threatening to pull him under.
Ashen steadied himself, breath shallow, eyes unfocused for a fleeting moment.
He understood it then. If he didn't find a way to let this suffocating pressure out, he would go insane beyond redemption.
'...'
His mouth opened, then closed again. Words formed, collapsed, never made it past his throat.
Nothing came out.
His gaze stayed locked on the corpse of his beloved. The one he had failed to save. The one he had not only lost, but, in allowing it to happen again and again under his watch, had begun to feel complicit in.
*
1308
"Let me die in peace—!"
thud—
"..."
This time, his lips did not stop. Like a defense mechanism, the only way to expel this all-consuming desolation was to… sing.
"...the more you put me through… The more it pulls me back to you ♪"
*
1309
"♪ You say you hate me, I just love you moreYou don't want me, I still want you more"
Thud—
*
1310
"Go away—!"
"♪ You tell me go, I stay right here♪ You call me cruel, I draw you near"
Thud—
*
1311
"I hate you! I hate you!" "Hate you!!!!"
Thud—
"hahahahaha…. You say you hate me? I just love you more!! You don't want me? I just want you more!!!"
*
1312
Slap—!!!
"Hehehehe… The more that you slap me, the more that it turns me on, 'Cause you love me, and I love you more—!!!"
thud—
*
1313
"..."
Seraphine looked on numbly as her man slowly but surely lost his mind.
Tears ran down his face, but his mouth curved into a smile as he sang with something that had stopped being joy several loops ago and had become its own species of madness.
"♪ You break your heart, I count the beat♪ You fall apart, I keep my seat♪ You call me plague, you call me pain♪ Then crawl right back and do it again."
It was like he was combating overwhelming sadness with artificial joy. The result was two conflicting emotions warring in his expression, amplifying each other into something harder to look at than either one alone.
"♪ Oh, do your worst, my lovely lie♪ Throw every knife, then wonder why♪ I never leave, I never flee♪ You're still the only one for me"
She stared silently as he circled her with slow steps, bobbing his head with a tune of his own making, waiting for the inevitable, and felt the haze of her own madness almost dissipate at the sight.
"♪ You make a grave out of my name♪ I kiss your mouth and take the blame♪ You say this love is sick, absurd♪ Then choke on every hurtful word"
'One more time…'
'He will leave the next time for sure…'
'There is no way he will stay after all this…'
'Please…'
Thud—
. .
"...the more you put me through… The more it pulls me back to you…"
*
1314
'He is still here.'
She watched with hollow eyes.
"You say you hate me… and I love you… You say love me… and I love you more…"
'Why?'
'Why…?'
A faint tremor ran through her chest.
'Why am I feeling this? This faint feeling of happiness.'
'After all this… do I really not want to be left alone, deep down?'
'After all the pain I inflicted on him… am I selfish enough to feel relieved that he didn't go, even like this…?'
Her gaze lowered. Her fingers tightened slightly at her sides.
'You are the worst, Seraphine.'
'The WORST.'
. .
"The more you…. Humhum♪ the more I… humhumhum♪♪."
This time, the hateful words were absent. So was the familiar thud of her body hitting the floor.
"Hmhm♪ … hm?"
The tune he was humming quietened.
"Oh? Are we done?" he asked lightly, tilting his head.
"Is there any point to it…?" she said bitterly. "You won't leave no matter what anyway."
"Oho!" Ashen widened his eyes in exaggerated wonder. "It only took you…" he counted on his fingers, eyes narrowing, "two… three… four… fourteen deaths!"
"Damn, dear. You sure are slow, haha…"
"...I guess you are not the only one going crazy."
"Fair," he shrugged.
"I still don't understand." She looked at him uncomprehendingly. "I'm only a single woman. No matter how in love you are, you can't ignore the rest of your life."
"You have Alice. You have Lucia. They are also waiting for you beyond this cursed place." Nausea rose in her throat, threatening to choke her.
"You have your family. Do you know how devastated they'd be if they never saw you again? Your mother… father… sister. For all we know, years could have passed in the real world. Do you truly plan to rot here alongside me?"
"It's been more than three hundred years, Ashen. Three hundred! 1301 loops of futile struggle… how foolish can you be to still think there's a path out of this?"
"Is a single woman truly worth throwing all of that away? Stop fighting a futile battle… Wake up, please…"
'Stay with me, please…'
A happy smile etched itself onto his face. It was jarringly out of place, which made the madness lurking behind it even more pronounced.
"Why do I keep fighting…? I don't know."
He truly didn't anymore.
Was it some stubborn pride he refused to release?
"But pride isn't even my sin."
Was it because of his love for her?
"I think so… I just love you~" The pondering look broke and gave way to something sweet, directed entirely at her.
It was only then that Seraphine truly understood.
The depth of his love had never been constrained to lust or attraction. Behind all the sweet nothings and gentle caresses, his love was the embodiment of madness.
Their story had started with a cliché, a damsel rescued, followed by a slow fall. But he was crazy in love with her. That had always been true, and she had never seen the full shape of it until now.
She had supported him. She had taken care of Solmara and its people as if they were her own, simply because he was their lord. But she had never for a second thought it warranted the maddening love he was displaying.
The maddening love that had made him delirious watching her die over and over again.
…The maddening love that made him refuse to give up after three centuries.
After every hurtful word she had said…
"I don't know anymore. I don't know what to think… what to do…" she mumbled defeatedly, slumping down.
The only thing she knew was that this man had permanently etched himself into her heart. After this, he would be the only one she would refuse nothing to. He deserved at least that much after everything.
"...You don't know?" he asked teasingly, catching her murmurs. "But I've got something to say, love."
"...?"
"You really did a number on me… I can feel my head ringing even now~"
"I'll probably have nightmares and hallucinations for the next couple of hundred loops because of your naughtiness, hehehe…"
"..."
"So… you deserve punishment—!"
"Huh?"
Crack—!
The shackles on her limbs were broken by brute force like thin sticks. He lifted her easily in his arms and walked back to his throne.
"Here we go, my heart…"
He set the confused woman down gently, then was nothing but rough when he forcibly spread her legs.
"Ah!"
"You really hurt me with your words, darling… how can you say it's a futile struggle, hah? There's nothing futile about trying to save you, hm~"
"Hng—!"
Thick fingers clamped her thighs and wrenched them wide, spreading her open with savage need, slicking through her folds with impatience, preparing her for the storm he was about to unleash.
"It's also my fault now that I think about it… I simply failed to express how much you mean to me… ahh…"
"Haahh… haaahh…"
"Hopefully after I'm done with you, you will never doubt me again."
He thrust—
"Ohhh!!"
"And hopefully… You will learn. TO. TRUST. YOUR. MAN."
With every word, another inch plunged deeper.
"S-stop…. Too big… AahhNN…"
"Ahh, can't do that, love~"
Plap plap plap…
"The problem is that when I'm with you… I'm addicted to you…"
Plap plap plap
"Ugh ahh AH!"
"...And after all those hurtful words… I'm a bit stressed, you see…"
"So it's your duty to give your man some release… with my skin on your teeth and my cock in your sleeve~♪"
THRUST—