With Xavier gone for now I finally get to reflect on my thoughts alone.
Xavier confessed his feelings.
He said I love you
And I couldn't say anything back. Immediately he said those words. My brain stopped functioning at that moment in time.
I wanted to say it back, but all of a sudden I became tongue tied.
The feeling inside of me was just too overwhelming.
I know I love Xavier too
Of course I did.
But I didn't know he felt the same way
I knew he liked me.
But not love.
Love is a really strong word and I believe that it shouldn't be said or else it's meant.
I have read tons of novels in my life, each one of them having a perfect description of what love is.
But I will describe love as a feeling of comfort, ease, a pure haven when you can be your truest self without fear. And with Xavier I felt all of these things.
Being with Xavier feels like home and every broken piece becomes whole.
My thoughts of him never ends, I don't think I would be able to survive without Xavier in my life.
He's stuck with me now and he better not think about leaving. I scoffed at the thought of that.
I already feel consumed by him.
Xavier is going to be human again and I'm really happy about that.
To be seen with Xavier
I have never really wanted that as much as I do right now.
But if Xavier was still a ghost would I really mind.
Just being with him was enough.
My head was starting to pound from all the thinking.
God!! I miss Xavier already
He told me he was gonna be back soon. He left this morning and when I came back from school I was expecting to be welcomed by his warm hugs.
Xavier hugs are the best.
"God I miss his warmth" I screamed into my pillow.
"I think I'm going insane"
It's almost midnight now and still no sign of Xavier and I don't think I would be able to sleep without him by my side.
Yeah I know I'm being unreasonable right now but I can't help it, I just want Xavier.
"Xavier, where are you?" I called out to absolutely no one.
"I better get some sleep " I mumbled, hugging my pillow tightly.
"Oh God!! This is not working" I groaned.
I'm used to sleeping on Xavier's chest, it was quite hard and at the same time soft, just perfect for me.
I think I'm going insane.
Xavier O'Connor is driving me insane.
I was suddenly interrupted from my thoughts by a banging sound coming from the door downstairs.
Ok that's strange.
"Who could that be?"
"Xavier doesn't have to knock"
"That's definitely not Xavier," I said to myself.
The knocking sound was starting to become louder and it was starting to get irritating and annoying.
"Who's there" I called out
"Who's there?" I called out again when I got to the bottom of the stairs.
"Limah it's me"
"Open up"
And I immediately stopped walking, the voice from behind the door was too familiar to be forgotten.
"Limah!! Come on open up" my dad shouted this time.
"What do you want?" I called out weakly.
I could already feel the fear creeping in.
"Oh I guess I was right"
"You really have gained all your memory back huh" my dad said this time.
"Bitch open up or else" he added in a threatening tone.
"Go away just leave me alone" I shouted heading back towards the stairs.
"Don't let me break down this door, you gonna regret it" I heard my dad say.
I ran quickly to my room looking for my phone.
I didn't even know who to call I was starting to panic
"Oh my God! Zion"
I quickly dialed Zion's number and it rings three times before the line finally connected.
"Limah? What's wrong?"
Zion's voice is rough and raspy like he just woken up. There's an edge of worry too and I almost felt bad for calling so late.
"Limah are you there are you okay"? Zion added.
I let out a shaky breath and I could feel my anxiety kicking in.
Oh God! Please. not now.
"Zion," I said weakly.
"Hey hi, ___ are you alright"
"You sound weird"
"Did something happen?" Zion asked.
"My dad is here"
"I'm so scared," I said, trying to hold back my tears.
"Hey Limah calm down"
"Were are you, can you hide somewhere safe until I get there"
"And where is your dad?" Zion added.
"My dad is outside, he's trying to break the door to get in" I said this time, already crying.
"Okay just take a deep breath and try to calm down I'm on my way"
"Please hurry I'm so scared" I choked out a sob of tears streaming down my face, my chest aches and my throat was burning.
All I wanted right now was just to be able to disappear from here.
I wish Xavier could just appear right now.
"Please" I croake out.
I don't know what I was pleading for exactly.
I just wanted to not be here.
The time I needed Xavier the most and he wasn't here.
"Limah can you hear me" I heard zion say from the other end of the line bringing me back to reality.
"Can you stay on the phone with me till I get there yeah"
"Can you do that for me, yeah?" Zion asked.
"Mm" I whispered weakly.
"Just hang in there okay"
I heard heavy footsteps coming up the stairs towards my room.
"Limah!!" My dad shouted.
"Zion he's here"
"I don't know what to do," I said, crying uncontrollably.
"Limah' fuck"
The door flew open and my dad stood there right in front of it glaring at me with angry eyes.
"Hello there," my dad said, smiling in a very creepy way.
"Don't come near me" I growled.
"Oh I'm so scared" my dad said, sarcasm dripping from each word.
He walked quickly into the room taking a hold of my hair dragging me up on my feet.
I screamed loudly.
"Limah are you okay"
"Can you hear me? " Zion shouted from the phone.
I could hear the panic in his voice
"Bitch who did you call" my dad shouted, hanging up the phone.
"I'm gonna teach you a lesson" he growled, slapping me hard on my face.
With that he started dragging me down the stairs still gripping my hair.
I cried out loudly, before I knew it we were out the door.
My dad quickly opened the car door pushing me inside harshly, immediately slamming the door
I groaned in pain, my head hurts, everything around me started spinning and with that the darkness took me.