Tap tap tap tap
The sound of the keyboard clacking nonstop, mixed with a few mouse clicks in between.
"Umm, Peter? You've been coding for hours now. Aren't you going to take a break?" Harry tapped my shoulder.
"No need. I'm fine."
"Dude, you've been at the computer from morning till night. Your face is always deep in thought—you look anything but fine."
"Is my face that easy to read?"
I glanced at the lines of code on the screen, then stood up.
"You're right. I should rest a little."
"Oh, that's great—"
"BUT I DON'T WANT TO!"
"GO TO SLEEP!!"
After that, I went to sleep in the private room Harry pointed out.
I pulled the blanket over me, stared at the ceiling, and closed my eyes.
Immediately, Emma's face appeared—only head.
"..." I opened my eyes, then closed them again.
Emma's head appeared once more.
I opened my eyes again and closed them.
Emma's head showed up yet another time.
I blinked rapidly. Emma's usually expressionless face now raised an eyebrow at me.
[What the fuck are you doing?]
"I think... I have a mental problem."
[No you not]
"Then it's a nightmare."
[No shit Sherlock. You're just obsessed after Emma's death, you idiot!]
"Why does it feel even worse than that?"
I sighed and thought back to the events that had happened before.
After Emma's incident was resolved, I went back to the hospital and met Dr. Doctor again.
"Aye aye, I'm surprised you're still alive."
"..."
"...oh, depressed now, huh? Oh well."
Then I lay in the hospital. Every time I closed my eyes, Emma appeared.
When Gwen spoon-fed me, I saw Emma.
When I watched TV, I saw Emma.
When I went to the bathroom, I saw Emma.
Everywhere I go, I still see her face.
So when I was finally discharged, I immediately threw myself into programming games.
Programming games truly calmed me down and made Emma disappear.
Because she was right beside me now, so I didn't need to see her anymore.
[Are you telling a horror story?]
"No, I'm just recounting what I'm thinking."
[Dude, do you need psychological help? Or should we go back to the hospital?]
"I'll definitely consider it."
So I decided to close my eyes again, trying to endure Emma constantly appearing to haunt me.
Knock knock knock.
"...?"
I sat up and looked toward the window, which had its curtains drawn.
I pulled the curtains open.
A girl was pressing her cheek against the glass, repeatedly breathing onto it.
"...haaaa"
I sighed and opened the window.
"Yay! Bonjour Peter!"
"What are you doing here?"
"Idk, I just sensed that you're feeling down!"
"...You're probably joking."
Then Gwen stood in front of me and pushed me back to sit on the bed.
She immediately took off her shirt, making me jump and cover my eyes.
"...wait no, it's too soon for that. We're not old enough yet."
"Huh? What do you mean?" Gwen tilted her head in confusion.
Hearing that, I cautiously looked at her.
She was... wearing a magical girl outfit?
"How is it? Pretty~?"
"...Why are you showing me this?"
"Isn't it obvious? Magical girls are the ultimate healing trope! No matter how much suffering there is in the world, there will always be a magical girl to protect it! Ehehe! (≧▽≦)"
"Sorry, but... nowadays magical girls all have dark stories and a ton of hentai and doujinshi."
"It's not always dark, Peter! I'll prove it to you by curing your insomnia and your obsession!"
"...I hope so." I wasn't very convinced, but whatever.
As long as she's happy with it.
"Uwoooo!! Magical Magical Star Heal!!!!" She held up her star-shaped wand and started waving it around dramatically.
Only to step on an empty bottle I'd forgotten to throw away and fall flat on the floor.
"..."
"Ouch ouch ouch... Ahh! Don't look at my panties!"
"You're not even wearing any, you pervert!!!!"
We both went silent for a moment, then lightly chuckled.
"Hehe, how was my performance? Feeling less sad now?"
"Haha, the way you act makes me question my entire life."
"Really? Was I too forward?"
I pulled her up and we sat together on the bed.
"Woa! Are you seriously gonna—?! Fine... popping the cherry early isn't bad!"
"Stop fantasizing."
I closed my eyes for a long moment, then looked straight at her.
"What's it like... to kill someone?"
...
Silence enveloped the entire room after my question.
Honestly, I've never wanted to kill anyone. I confidently said I'd defeat those who harm society, but in the end, I couldn't bring myself to do it.
It's probably because those memories affected my personality too much. Looking through the eyes of every Spider-Man, they all seem like saints.
The most violent one I remember is Punisher Spider-Man—he killed enemies like a killing machine.
But in the end, he stopped and saw himself as someone deeply stained.
I think I understand him. Because once you cross that line, you'd see yourself as no different from the villains who need to be stopped.
Is this the common trait of Spider-Men? Or... the common trait of Peter Parker?
I won't mention Superior Spider-Man here, because he's not really Peter Parker.
Yet looking at Gwen—the one I assume is this world's Spider-Man—she acts completely normal even after taking the life of her classmate.
"Eh, idk."
"...Huh?"
Gwen answered bluntly, as if she felt nothing at all.
"I don't feel anything when killing someone. I've done it before anyway."
"..." I looked at her warily.
"What's wrong? Still sad about Emma's death?"
"..."
"Peter is so cute~" She reached out, hugged my head, and kept ruffling my hair.
"I think it's good that you're having internal conflict. That's the Peter I know."
"That's good?"
"Of course. Being a hero is exhausting. Becoming a hero means carrying responsibility on your shoulders, and it's unnecessarily heavy. Everyone looks at you with such high expectations."
She spoke gently, making me focus on her soft pink lips.
"That's why there's no reason for you to get involved in this fight. It was never meant for you from the start."
"So Peter, you don't have to feel responsible or sad about someone dying. You can rely on me—I'll handle everything for you."
"Just keep coding your games. If you want to save someone, just ask me. Because I am..."
Her hands cupped my cheeks. Her blue eyes were like gazing at an entire galaxy admiring a masterpiece.
"The one who will always love you."
Crack.
Something cracked, then vanished as if it had never existed.
"..." I stared in shock as she stood up and started posing.
"Alright! The magical girl has fully recharged her energy by admiring her boyfriend! See you tomorrow, Peter!"
Then she jumped out the window and disappeared.
"..."
I clutched my head, lay back on the bed, and closed my eyes.
...The obsession had completely vanished.
I felt like I was going to sleep really well tonight.
"..."
I felt like I'd forgotten someone, but I wasn't sure.
Whatever, probably just my imagination.
"Tomorrow I'll code the game at 100% capacity. Feels so refreshing! Right, Nya?"
[...]
"Nya?"
[No... It's nothing.]
And so, the day passed incredibly peacefully.