Read ahead of public release on P atreon at: p-atreon.com/Knockturn_Alley
Check out Chapter illustrations on Pixiv at unhinged_uchiha
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'Uzumaki Kushina is out of Konoha and the purpose... huh? Training the power of the Nine-Tails?!" He blinked in surprise.
The scroll didn't specify exactly where she had gone, only that she was probably outside the village for special training.
"Is she really training the power of Nine-tails?" he murmured, frowning.
Thinking about it, Kushina attempting to master the power of the Nine-Tails isn't entirely unexpected. As a Jinchūriki, it was only natural for her to try to gain control over the Nine-Tails' power. However, Kanzou knew with absolute certainty that she wouldn't truly succeed in mastering it. Not the current Kushina... and not even the future Kushina if things went as per the canon. At best, she might learn to restrain the fox more effectively, but fully mastering its power? She simply didn't have what it took.
Still, the timing was a little inconvenient.
"I guess I'll have to wait until she returns…" he sighed, feeling a little helpless and frustrated.
He had been looking forward to making his move on the fiery red-haired beauty soon, but now he had no choice but to be patient and wait for her to return. There was nothing else he could do about it for the time being.
With that in mind, he folded the scroll and burnt it, his mind already shifting toward other matters.
"Natsuhi has to be given the next target as well… hmm…" Kanzou murmured to himself, leaning back in his chair as he considered the best way to give her the information.
This matter was too important to leave to anyone else.
"Looks like I'll be putting in some work myself…" he sighed lightly, feeling that his subordinates are still not good enough. If his subordinates were good enough, he wouldn't have to personally carry out this task... alas... he'll have to do the work himself.
Shaking his head, he decided not to complain and just carry out the task on his own.
Instead of getting up, he calmly formed a series of hand seals.
Poof!
A cloud of white smoke erupted beside his desk, and a perfect Shadow Clone appeared standing there, wearing the same calm, confident expression as the original.
"You know what to do," Kanzou said simply, not bothering with lengthy explanations. The clone already shared all his memories and intentions.
The Shadow Clone nodded once. "I know."
It walked over to the window, slid it open, and glanced back at the original Kanzou. With a small smirk, it began forming another set of hand seals.
'Transparency Jutsu!'
In an instant, the clone's body turned completely invisible, fading from sight as if it had never been there. Unless someone is using the Sharingan or the Byakugan, it's impossible to 'see' the Invisible Shadow Clone.
Only those with sensory Jutsu might be able to notice the Shadow Clone, but even that wouldn't be as easy.
Without another word, the invisible Shadow Clone leaped out of the window and vanished into the village, moving silently toward the Hokage Building.
"Now that the Shadow Clone is getting to work… I should go and do some training."
With that, he stood up from his chair, stretched lightly, and left the office, making his way toward a particular training field.
...
As Kanzou arrived at the secluded training ground, the loud, boisterous sounds of two people training reached his ears immediately.
"Papa… you can do it, Papa! Just 900 more!!!"
"Of course... I can do it! Keep counting, Guy..."
"Ohhhhh!!!! 9101… 9102… 9103…"
The one cheering enthusiastically was none other than the young Might Guy, who no longer wore those ridiculous, tight green shorts. The one performing the exercise was his father, Might Duy, who had also abandoned his infamous, ugly green tights.
'I really did everyone a service by making Might Duy get out of those indecent, ugly clothes…' Kanzou thought with a sigh of genuine relief as he observed the pair.
His arrival didn't go unnoticed.
Might Duy, who was currently doing intense finger handstand push-ups with an upside-down view of the world, spotted him immediately.
'Hmm... that person...?'
Realizing that it was Kanzou, Duy stopped mid-rep, flipped down to his feet with impressive agility, and immediately approached him, bowing deeply.
"Uchiha Kanzou-sama!"
Duy then turned to his son and urged him, "Guy… come! Greet Kanzou-sama properly."
"H-hai, Papa!!!" Guy straightened up instantly and imitated his father, bowing with genuine respect. "Uchiha Kanzou-sama!"
Guy didn't know the full details of the deal between his father and Kanzou. He had no idea that Duy had practically sold himself into servitude to Kanzou. All the boy knew was that Kanzou was his father's respected employer, the only person who hadn't mocked his father for being an Eternal Genin and a waste. Therefore, in Guy's eyes, Kanzou deserved the utmost respect.
Kanzou looked at the father-son duo with a faint, satisfied smile before turning his gaze to the energetic boy.
"Didn't you go to attend the Ninja Academy today?" he asked.
Normally, at this time of day, Guy should have been in class like any other kid. Yet here he was, cheering his father on.
"Today is a holiday, sir," Guy answered promptly.
"Oh… right, I forgot. It's the weekend, isn't it?" Kanzou nodded in understanding. He had been far too occupied lately, slapping Hiruzen and Fugaku in the face, having fun with his women, and planning various other evil schemes, that he had completely lost track of the days.
"Yes, sir," Guy nodded enthusiastically and bowed again. "Since it was a holiday… I came with Papa to train!"
"Hmm…" Kanzou hummed, his eyes shifting to Might Duy.
Duy, still breathing a little heavily from his earlier exercise, asked respectfully, "Uchiha Kanzou-sama… are you also here to train?"
Kanzou shrugged, giving him a slightly strange look. "Why else would I be here?"
"Ohh… r-right…" Duy laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment.
Kanzou continued casually, "Anyway… since you're already here, help me out with my training."
"H-Help? Me?" Duy was visibly stunned, not expecting the Captain of the Police Force to ask for his assistance.
"It's just combat," Kanzou explained. "Let's fight."
He was already so overwhelmingly strong that most shinobi in the Uchiha clan could barely put any pressure on him. In that case, Might Duy, a man with monstrous Taijutsu talent, was one of the few good candidates who could actually help him sharpen his skills.
"You don't have any problem with that, right?" Kanzou asked.
"No… no, of course not!" Duy shook his head vigorously, his eyes lighting up with excitement.
Despite his overwhelming physical power, he severely lacked actual combat experience. The only real fight he had ever been in was against Fugaku a few days ago. Before that, he had virtually none.
So the chance to spar with someone as powerful as Kanzou was an opportunity he couldn't possibly refuse.
"Since there isn't a problem… then help me train," Kanzou said.
Duy straightened up immediately, his expression turning serious yet eager. "Understood!" He turned to his son and instructed, "Guy… stand aside and watch carefully."
"Yes, Papa…!!" Guy nodded vigorously, his eyes shining with excitement. This was the first time he would get to see his father fight for real. His heart was pounding with anticipation as he quickly ran to the side of the training field, giving them plenty of space.
Kanzou and Duy positioned themselves opposite each other.
Kanzou rolled his shoulders and stretched his arms, loosening his muscles while casually asking, "I heard that you got yourself a new house."
"Ahh, yes…" Duy replied, feeling a bit awkward. The mansion had been given to him completely free of charge, which still left him unsure how to feel about it.
"Did Utatane Koharu or anyone from her clan come to trouble you?" Kanzou asked. He heard from Shin that the mansion was booked by Utatane Koharu before Shin interfered...
"Not for now…" Duy shook his head.
Kanzou nodded. "Just because there hasn't been trouble yet doesn't mean there won't be any in the future. Stay alert at all times."
Utatane Koharu herself probably won't come for such a small matter, and her sons or relatives wouldn't dare cause trouble with the Uchiha Police Force watching. Still, that doesn't mean the Utatanes are going to let this slide matter either.
"I understand," Duy replied firmly.
"And what about the other thing?" Kanzou continued. "Has Sarutobi Hiruzen sent someone to summon you?"
"Nobody has come yet, but…" Duy hesitated for a moment, scratching the back of his head. "A few times I've had this feeling that someone might be watching me…"
"Hmm… that's pretty normal," Kanzou said calmly. "They probably want to gather information on you first. Don't show anything. If someone comes to summon you, come to the Police Station first."
"Understood." Duy nodded.
"Well then…" Kanzou took a proper stance, his eyes sharpening. "Let's start."
Duy mirrored him, lowering his center of gravity. The air between them grew tense for a brief moment.
Then, both of them dashed forward at the same time.
BOOM!
The moment they clashed, powerful shockwaves rippled across the training field.
"So… sooo cool!!!" Guy watched from the sidelines with sparkling eyes, clenching his fists tightly. "I can feel the fire of my youth burning stronger than ever from just from watching this hot-blooded duel between them…!!"
...
A few hours later, outside the Hokage Building—
'Isn't there any Sarutobi coming today?'
The one having that thought was the invisible Shadow Clone of Kanzou. After being sent out earlier, it had been squatting patiently near the Hokage Building, silently observing everyone who entered or left, shinobi heading out for missions, officials coming for meetings, and ordinary villagers going about their business.
The clone was specifically waiting for members of the Sarutobi Clan to show up at the Hokage Building. However, despite waiting for a long time, no Sarutobi had appeared yet, forcing it to remain hidden and vigilant.
Several more hours passed like this. The Shadow Clone stayed perfectly still, making sure not to draw any attention from the nearby ANBU or passersby with sharp senses.
Finally, its patience was rewarded.
A shinobi named Sarutobi Eijiru, accompanied by three other shinobi all wearing Chūnin vests, rushed toward the Hokage Building.
'Is there finally going to be something?' The Shadow Clone's eyes lit up as it waited for the group to come out.
Not long after, the group emerged again, this time escorting a middle-aged man who looked like a traveling merchant.
"Alright… gather at the village's entrance in 15 minutes. Then we will leave to complete the mission," Sarutobi Eijiru instructed his squad.
"Hai, Captain!" the three Chūnin responded and quickly moved off to prepare.
Sarutobi Eijiru himself left briefly after seating the merchant at a nearby tea shop.
"Fufu… it looks like the opportunity is indeed here," the invisible Shadow Clone murmured with a faint smile.
It moved silently to the same tea shop where the merchant was calmly drinking tea and eating dango. The merchant noticed nothing unusual. He remained completely unaware as an invisible figure sat down directly in front of him.
In the next instant, the clone activated its Sharingan, made eye contact, and pulled the merchant into a Genjutsu.
The illusion only lasted a few moments before the Shadow Clone dispelled it.
When the merchant came out of it, he felt slightly dizzy and lethargic. He rubbed his temples in confusion. "What happened? Did I doze off?"
Shaking his head, he quickly convinced himself, 'I guess I've been overworking lately… I should relax a little. Yosh! After this trip, I'll stay home for a few days and spend time with my wife and daughter.'
Looking forward to that, the merchant finished his tea excitedly and waited for Sarutobi Eijiru and the three Chūnin to return.
Soon, the group assembled at the village's entrance and departed from Konoha together, heading out for their mission.
"The Land of Tea, is it?" the Shadow Clone murmured, finally releasing its Transparency Jutsu as it watched them disappear through the village gates.
Once the group was gone, the Shadow Clone dispersed with a soft poof of white smoke, sending all the gathered information back to the original Kanzou.
...
At the training field, after finishing up an intense sparring session with Might Duy, Kanzou received the memories from his dispersed Shadow Clone. A cold, satisfied smile spread across his face.
"Fufu… alright then. There's a target and a destination," he murmured.
He left Might Duy and the excited Might Guy to continue their own training and headed straight back to the Police Station.
Hazuki was already inside the office, sorting through reports. The moment Kanzou entered, she bowed respectfully.
"Welcome back, Kanzou-sama."
"Did you carry out what I ordered?" he asked, taking a seat behind his desk.
She nodded. "I have already given the orders for the rumors to begin circulating. It might take some time to gain momentum, but it will spread. At the same time, a few zodiacs have been deployed to keep watch on the bathhouse. If that creepy old man Jiraiya appears to peek at the bathing women, we'll have photographs ready."
"Good," Kanzou said, satisfied. He quickly wrote down detailed information on a fresh scroll and handed it to her. "Send this over to Natsuhi with one of your ravens."
"May I ask what this is?" Hazuki asked curiously as she took the scroll.
"Just take a look," Kanzou shrugged, not planning to hide the matter from her.
Hazuki unfolded the scroll and scanned its contents. It contained names, pictures, mission details, destinations, and… other details that seemed to indicate something...
She is not a fool. She understood what kind of order the scroll contained. As realization dawned on her face, her eyes widened. "Kanzou-sama… Don't tell me… You are going to…"
Kanzou chuckled, leaning back in his chair.
"That monkey had dared to send people to secretly assassinate my clansmen using that mission as a trap," he said, his voice calm but filled with ruthless intent. "I have to return that favor as well, right?"
He had only given Hiruzen a verbal warning previously for that matter, yet the old Hokage still chose to jump around and spread rumors. A simple warning clearly wasn't enough.
"Anyway… this was what I was planning to do from the start. And for that very reason, I didn't let Natsuhi return to Hoshigakure. She's still lurking in the Land of Fire, waiting for the next mission." He added.
Hazuki listened quietly, her expression turning serious as she understood the full scope of his intentions.
He continued, "In the same manner that Hiruzen attempted to assassinate my subordinates, I am also going to send assassins to slowly eliminate the Sarutobi clansmen. And of course, the Shimura, Utatane, and the others won't be spared either. Slowly… and steadily… the ninjas of those clans are going to go through exactly what those four fuckers intended to put the Uchiha Clan through."
She stared at the scroll for a moment before she folded it carefully. "Understood. I'll make sure Natsuhi-san receives this immediately."
"Yeah… go on," Kanzou waved his hand dismissively.
She bowed once more and turned to leave the office to carry out the order. Just as she reached the door, Kanzou's voice stopped her again.
"Also, contact Hiroku. Find out where he is right now. I need more capable assassins who aren't linked to the Uchiha Clan. The higher the number, the more pressure can be exerted."
"I see. I will try to contact him again," she nodded without turning back and quietly left the room, closing the door behind her.
Once he was alone, he leaned back in his chair, a wide, predatory smile spreading across his face.
"Fufu… Sarutobi Hiruzen…" he murmured, smiling maliciously, "let's see how you deal with this."
Kanzou's third Law of Face-slapping states that anyone who attempts to slap my face should be prepared to have their own face slapped back twice as hard. For that reason, since Hiruzen is attempting to slap him in the face, he needs to be prepared to have his face slapped twice as hard.
...
At the same time, inside the Hokage Building—
Sarutobi Hiruzen had no idea that Uchiha Kanzou had already deployed a double-layered attack against him.
Currently, the Sandaime Hokage was sitting in his office, patiently waiting for the results of his earlier scheme of spreading rumors about Kanzou's 'secret affair.'
Of course, he understands that the matter could take several days to give any significant result... but that's fine as long as it gives some result.
Pudding that aside, currently, he was taking a short break from the endless pile of documents.
His method of relaxation was very simple. He was gazing intently into his Crystal Ball, a thin trail of blood threatening to trickle from his nose.
After all, his duties as Hokage were extremely stressful, especially with that massive headache named Uchiha Kanzou constantly making his life difficult. In such situations, a man of his position and age needed certain outlets to release that built-up tension, right?
If he doesn't release that tension... how'd he continue to work as the benevolent Sandaime Hokage?
Watching through the Crystal Ball was one of his favorite ways to unwind. He was very stressed, so please don't blame him. If anyone was to be blamed, it should be those who made his life so difficult. And please, keep this a secret.
So that's what he is doing.
"Hohoho…" Hiruzen chuckled softly, completely mesmerized by the youthful richness displayed before him.
Compared to that fresh, vibrant youthfulness, his wife, Biwako, already in her late forties, simply couldn't compare. She had become haggard, loose, and saggy. Between the two, the choice was painfully obvious... any man can make the right choice without even thinking about it.
When eating a fruit, fresh and rich is always a choice over the stale and old. Isn't that the case? So, what's wrong with enjoying a little bit of youthful richness...?
While he was thoroughly enjoying the sight of youth, a sudden knock echoed through his office.
"Hokage-sama, this is Spider."
Hiruzen let out a deep, reluctant sigh. 'I just can't seem to relax for even a moment…' he thought bitterly.
He quickly put away the Crystal Ball, wiped the corner of his nose, and composed himself before speaking in his usual calm, wise voice.
"Enter."
The Spider-masked ANBU opened the door and stepped inside, kneeling respectfully.
"Tell me… what did you find?" Hiruzen questioned, leaning forward slightly in his chair with clear anticipation.
He had sent the Spider-masked ANBU to investigate the maroon-haired woman from the hot spring town, the one Uchiha Kanzou was supposedly having a 'secret' affair with. Now that she had returned, there should be some concrete results, right?
Unfortunately for the Sandaime Hokage, he was destined to be disappointed.
The Spider-masked ANBU shook her head slowly, "Please forgive me, Hokage-sama… I wasn't able to find anything about such a woman."
"What?!"
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A/N:
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Check out Chapter illustrations on Pixiv: unhinged_uchiha
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