Lucy's legs finally gave out.
The adrenaline, the terror, the deafening echoes of the clash—it all crashed down on her at once. She collapsed into the dirt right in the middle of the ruined clearing, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath. The wasteland stretched around them like a jagged scar carved deep across the forest floor, but strangely… she felt a wave of calm wash over her.
Because Kai was still standing.
Or, well, sitting.
He was crouched a few feet away, casually rummaging through that ridiculous waist pouch of his. It was the exact same pouch he had somehow pulled weapons, bombs, smoke pellets, ropes, and tools out of earlier. Now, Lucy watched in utter fascination as he fished out a roll of clean bandages, a small jar of antiseptic salve, and a handful of strange, metallic tinkering tools she couldn't even begin to identify.
Happy, utterly exhausted from flying, curled up into a miserable little blue ball right on her lap. Lucy stroked his head absently, her eyes locked entirely on Kai.
He worked in complete, methodical silence, wrapping his own forearm and torso. He tightened the cloth with practiced, brutal efficiency, barely even wincing despite the deep, angry gashes marring his skin.
It was surreal watching him like this. When she'd first met him at the guild, she'd written him off as a walking headache—an obnoxious, blunt, sarcastic menace who acted like he owned the place. A few hours ago? She'd upgraded him to rude, but reliable.
And now?
Now she didn't know what to think.
He had burned, slammed, and fought Erigor like an absolute demon, yet he hadn't hesitated for a single second to throw himself in front of her and Happy to shield them from the blast. He joked. He mocked. He threatened. He terrified. He protected. He defied every single expectation she had, leaving her completely baffled.
And, god help her, he looked incredibly cool doing it.
Lucy caught herself staring. Hard.
She blinked rapidly, her face flushing as she realized she was gawking at him like some kind of awe-struck fangirl. To desperately derail her own train of thought, she focused back on his hands—just as Kai reached into his pouch yet again and pulled out…
A handful of snacks.
Actual snacks. Potato chips, candy bars, a juice carton, and a full pack of chocolate chip cookies.
Lucy's jaw dropped. "What—what is the deal with that pouch?!" she cried out in pure disbelief, standing up so fast that Happy dangled from her arms like a deflated plush toy. "How many things do you have crammed in there?!"
Kai didn't even look up from his bandaging. "Told you already, Blondie. It's not a pouch. It's a spatial magic tool I forged myself to carry my tinkering gear and survival supplies. Think of it like Red's Requip magic, except, y'know, significantly cooler."
He casually tossed a juice carton through the air toward her.
Lucy caught it reflexively. She stared at the juice, then at him, then at the smoking, cratered wasteland around them, and then back at the juice.
"…You're seriously drinking juice right now? In the middle of a warzone?"
Kai shrugged, cracking open the cookie pack. "You want it or not?"
Sighing, Lucy gave up trying to understand him and plopped back down on the grass beside him. Happy slid off her lap, sprawling out like a blue puddle. She sipped the juice, watching Kai tie off the bandage around his shoulder.
"Can't you just heal yourself with a spell?" she asked curiously. "Since you're so strong?"
Kai paused mid-movement. He slowly turned his head, fixing her with a profoundly deadpan expression. "How many magics do you think I have time to learn, Blondie? I'm only eighteen and I already use two entirely different styles, one of which happens to be a ridiculously rare Lost Magic."
"I—I didn't mean it like that!" Lucy stammered, waving her hands. "I just figured a powerful mage would have some kind of basic healing spell on hand. And my name is Lucy, not Blondie!"
Kai chomped loudly on a cookie. "Who said I don't have a spell that can patch me up?"
Lucy froze. Happy's ears twitched, his eyes peeking open.
"Wait. You do have one? But you just said—"
"I said I don't know healing magic," Kai corrected smoothly, taking a sip from his own juice box. "But I do have a specific spell that can get the job done."
Lucy leaned in, exasperated. "Then why on earth aren't you using it?! And it's Lucy—"
Kai clicked his tongue. "It's not a minor spell, Blondie—"
"LUCY!"
"—it's highly situational. I can only really cast it once a day."
Lucy blinked. Once a day?
Suddenly, a memory clicked in her head. She recalled her brief time at the guild hall—the collective groans, the dramatic eye-rolls, and the utter despair of the other mages whenever Kai lazy muttered, 'Yeah, yeah, I'll do it eventually.'
"Wait a minute." Lucy leaned even closer, her eyes narrowing. "Is this that 'I'll do it eventually' spell that the entire guild absolutely hates?"
A brilliant, mischievous grin spread across Kai's face. "Bingo."
She stared at him as if he had just casually informed her that gravity was entirely optional. "So… what does a spell with a ridiculous name like that actually do?"
Kai popped another cookie into his mouth. "Wouldn't you like to know?"
"I'm serious!" she deadpanned.
He shrugged, leaning back. "Well, it's not a state secret. It's a localized temporal-causality delay spell. Basically, it lets me procrastinate a physical task into the future. If I apply it to my wounds, the magic acknowledges the task of 'healing' and guarantees it will automatically happen at some point later in the day. No matter what." He paused, tweaking his nose. "Of course, it has its limits. The exact timing and the method of how it happens are completely random."
Lucy's eyes went comically wide. "That… is insanely powerful. You're literally manipulating probability and time just to be lazy!"
Kai stuffed the last cookie into his mouth. "It's useful. Sometimes. Mostly it's just annoying because if I'm sitting on the toilet and the delayed task suddenly triggers, I might violently snap into motion to fix a leaky pipe I put off three hours ago."
A look of profound disgust and horror twisted Lucy's face. "Why would you share that imagery with me?!"
"Cause you asked, Blondie," Kai stated blankly.
Lucy managed to keep her complaints to herself while he finished tying off his bandages. Surprisingly, she didn't feel the urge to nag or panic anymore. Sitting there next to him, despite his bizarre quirks and terrifying casualness, she felt safer than she had at any point since leaving Magnolia.
He tossed the empty bandage rolls back into his infinite pouch, dusted off his pants, and stood up.
Lucy stood with him, nodding toward the trail. "Should we chase after the rest of Eisenwald?"
"The idiot leader can't have gotten far," Kai muttered carelessly. "I literally cracked his spine. He'll be crawling like a worm the second his wind magic runs out."
Lucy winced. "That's… incredibly harsh."
"He wet his pants, Lucy," Kai reminded her, throwing her a rare bone by actually using her name. "Honestly, he got off easy. Want another juice?"
The abrupt offer made her blink, but she was quickly learning to adapt to his whiplash-inducing personality. She held out her hand politely, and he dropped a second juice box into her palm without even looking.
She opened her mouth to ask more about his absurd magic, but the words were ripped from her throat.
The ground violently trembled.
A deep, mechanical rumble shook the dirt beneath their boots. Both Lucy and Kai snapped their heads toward the ridge.
A magical four-wheeled vehicle was barreling down the hill at an absolutely suicidal speed. Black smoke billowed from its exhaust, the tires screamed against the bedrock, and the engine whined like it was begging for a swift death. It bounced violently off a boulder, nearly flipped twice in mid-air, and came skidding into the clearing in a massive cloud of dust.
Perched right at the front was a violent flash of crimson hair.
Lucy let out a breath of pure, unadulterated relief. "Erza! And the others!"
Happy flapped his wings weakly. "Aye… we're saved…" before slumping back into the dirt, entirely drained.
Kai merely hummed, utterly unimpressed, and promptly laid right back down against an uprooted tree root like a guy who had zero intention of moving for the next business week.
The magic vehicle tore across the clearing, the brakes screeching as Erza cut the magic power. The moment her eyes locked onto Lucy, she vaulted over the handlebars, her armor clanking sharply as she landed in the dirt.
Gray jumped down right behind her—dragging a green-faced, half-conscious Natsu by the collar like a soaked rag.
"Erza! Gray! Natsu!" Lucy called out.
But Erza wasn't listening. Her eyes had already zeroed in on the boy slumped against the tree root. Kai's torso was heavily wrapped in fresh, messy bandages—already staining pink with blood in several places—and his eyes were tightly shut.
Erza's breath hitched completely.
She sprinted forward so fast the wind kicked up in her wake. "K-Kai! Are you—" Her gloved hand shook violently as she reached out for him, her voice cracking in a raw, fragile way that none of them had ever heard before. "I told you to be careful… why do you never listen to me?!"
Gray, turning uncharacteristically pale with worry, dropped to his knees beside her. Even Natsu snapped out of his motion sickness, wobbling to his feet with wide, dark eyes. "What happened to him…?" he muttered.
Lucy hugged Happy tightly to her chest, thoroughly bewildered. "Wait, Kai was awake just a minute ago—"
Suddenly, Kai's eyes snapped wide open.
"BOO."
Erza and Gray recoiled so violently they nearly tumbled over backward into the dirt. Lucy's jaw hit the floor. Happy let out a terrified squeak.
Kai burst into a fit of howling laughter, pointing a mocking finger right at Erza's face. "Oh man, look at you all! I can't believe you actually fell for that! Even you, Blondie—did you think I croaked? And look at Miss Titania over here. Aww, are those actual tears? I didn't know you cared so much, Red."
Erza's face transitioned from ghost-white to a terrifying, explosive crimson in a fraction of a second. For a fleeting heartbeat, she looked like she really might have cried—and then the rage took over.
"KAI!!"
Gray roared right along with her, "Are you trying to give us a collective heart attack, you bastard?!"
Kai just snorted, completely unfazed, and reached back into his pouch for another snack like their fury was just a mild background noise. Lucy pinched the bridge of her nose, letting out a heavy sigh. Fairy Tail really is just a madhouse…
Once Erza finally released Kai from a brief, punishing headlock—softening only when she remembered his actual, physical injuries—she stood up and surveyed the battlefield. The landscape was utterly decimated. Massive gouges from wind magic were carved deep into the earth, stones were pulverized into dust, and ancient trees lay shattered.
"What exactly happened here?" Erza asked quietly, her commander persona returning.
Kai shrugged, chewing a candy bar. "We intercepted the real Eisenwald vanguard. Had a little disagreement with Erigor and his shadow lackey."
"That tells me absolutely nothing, Kai!" Erza snapped, crossing her arms. "And what do you mean, the vanguard? The mage with the Lullaby—where is he?"
Lucy quickly stepped forward before Kai could deflect again. "We caught the mage carrying the flute," she explained, her voice still holding a slight tremor. "Kai completely overwhelmed him. But before we could secure the Lullaby, Erigor ambushed us. Kai fought both of them at once. Because of my mistake, the shadow mage broke free and attacked us from behind. Kai threw himself in front of us to protect us, and he took a horrible hit. Erigor used the distraction to grab the flute and escape. I… I was completely useless. I'm so sorry, everyone…"
Natsu, Gray, and Erza blinked in surprise, processing the story.
"It's alright, Lucy," Erza said softly, her expression warming. "Don't blame yourself. You survived, and that's what matters."
Kai lazily raised a hand from the dirt. "Hey—stop passing out free forgiveness on my behalf. You hear that, Blondie? You officially owe me one big time."
Lucy puffed out her cheeks. "My name is Lucy!"
Gray stepped forward, cracking his knuckles as a dark look crossed his face. "We won't let those bastards get away with this."
"Hell yeah!" Natsu growled, fire erupting from his fists. "They messed with our guild, and they hurt one of our own!"
Kai muttered under his breath, "Wow. Moving speeches. Truly, zero respect for my input."
Natsu's eyes then landed on Happy, who was snoozing peacefully near Kai's boots. Panic instantly seized the Dragon Slayer. "HAPPY! What did they do to you?! Speak to me, buddy!" He lunged forward, scooping the cat up and squeezing him into a suffocatingly tight hug.
Happy choked, his eyes popping out. "Aye… just sleepy… Natsu, stop… losing oxygen…"
Kai stretched his arms, looking entirely bored by the display. "Not to ruin the touching family reunion, but did you guys actually learn anything useful on your little joyride, Red?"
Erza straightened up. "Yes. We were tricked from the start. Eisenwald never intended to strike Onibas. Their main force has shifted toward Oshibana. The corporate masters are meeting there—that is where they intend to play the Lullaby."
Kai nodded slowly, his eyes narrowing slightly. "Huh. Switching targets, classic desperate move. Well, shouldn't you guys get moving then? Even with a cracked spine, a motivated snake can still crawl."
The group nodded in unison. "Right! Let's go!"
Lucy and Happy turned to follow, but stopped when they realized Kai hadn't moved an inch. "Kai? Come on, get up!"
Kai simply waved a lazy hand from his comfortable spot under the tree. "Nah. I'm sitting this act out."
Erza frowned, stepping back toward him. "Are your injuries that severe?"
Kai stared up at her blankly. "Define 'severe.' If you mean 'Can I physically force my body to move and fight?'—yeah, probably. If you mean 'Do I have any desire to?'—absolutely not. I've done more manual labor today than I usually do in an entire fiscal quarter. I tracked 'em, beat 'em, and saved Blondie twice. You guys just need to sweep up the leftovers."
Natsu pumped his fist into the air. "Hell yeah! We got this, Erza! Let's go smash 'em!"
Lucy looked torn, glancing between the vehicle and the bandaged boy. "Maybe I should stay behind and look after him…"
"No," Kai said instantly, cutting her off. "Take her. And the cat. I am entirely done babysitting for the day. I'm going home."
Lucy sputtered, her face flushing with indignation. "I am not helpless!"
Kai raised a single, mocking eyebrow. "Then why were you hiding behind my ribs like a frightened rabbit when the wind guy showed up?"
Lucy choked on the air, her face turning bright red. "That—that was strategic positioning!!"
Erza studied Kai quietly for a long moment. Something about this felt slightly off to her. Kai had fought like a demon, taken the brunt of an ambush, and now he wanted absolutely no part in the grand finale? Even though he hadn't gotten a single reward or word of praise out of it?
But then again, she knew Kai. He fundamentally loathed unnecessary effort, and he truly was banged up.
She let out a defeated exhale. "Fine. Rest here. We will handle the remaining threat."
They piled back into the magic vehicle, the engine roaring to life with a mechanical scream.
"Wait a minute!" Natsu suddenly yelled, leaning halfway out of the window as the car began to roll. "I forgot to ask Kai for another one of those anti-motion sickness trinkets! Kai—!!"
Kai raised a lazy finger. "Just bite your tongue off, lizard boy. The blinding physical pain might distract your brain from the nausea."
"WHAT KIND OF PSYCHOPATHIC ADVICE IS THAT?!" Natsu screamed at the top of his lungs as the vehicle accelerated, tearing away down the dirt road.
The chaotic shouting of the group faded into the quiet distance, leaving only the rustling of the leaves.
Kai watched the dust cloud settle, a genuine, small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
"…Finally. Peace and quiet."
He let out a long, relaxed sigh, rolling onto his back beneath the shade of the uprooted tree. He slid his hand into his spatial pouch, his fingers wrapping around a cold, smooth object.
When he pulled his hand out, a dark, cursed flute rested in his palm. Three twisted human skulls were carved into the top, their empty, hollow eye sockets seeming to stare directly up at him.
The Lullaby.
He twirled the dark artifact between his fingers, his eyes gleaming with a manic, dangerous curiosity.
"Now, let's see what makes you tick."
He had swapped the real flute with a regular old branch the moment he pretended to wrestle it away from Kageyama. There was absolutely no universe in which he was going to tell Erza the truth—the guild would have immediately confiscated it, or worse, handed it over to the Magic Council. And there was no way Kai was letting a pristine specimen of Zeref's living Black Magic slip through his fingers.
Sending Fairy Tail off to chase a hollowed-out Eisenwald was the perfect distraction. Those rogue mages needed to be put down anyway, and the guild desperately needed a target to blow off some destructive steam.
Besides, Eisenwald was a snake without fangs now that he held the poison. Everything was perfectly fine.
And now? Now Kai had plans. Very intricate, highly experimental, tinkerer-mage plans for a flute forged from living souls centuries ago.