Creak...
Creak...
Creak...
Inside the mess hall, the Argonauts who had just woken up mechanically shoveled food into their stomachs as the ship rocked violently again and again. Their nearly numb tongues told them only one thing.
Today's food was salty again...
Slurp... slurp...
When the soup was served, a few squealing pink piglets appeared at the heroes' tables. Everyone deftly scooped them up, tied them securely, and sent them off to the God of Medicine's clinic.
All the way there, the piglets let out shrill screams and struggled frantically, their all-too-human eyes full of terror.
But the companions in charge of transport skillfully pulled out rags and stuffed them into the piglets' mouths. Then, the moment the God of Medicine opened the door, they dumped the piglets onto the floor with a clatter.
"Wait..."
The God of Medicine frowned slightly and let out a displeased snort. The heroes at the doorway instantly went stiff. A chill ran up the backs of their necks. They turned around like rusted machines, wearing smiles even uglier than crying.
"Next time, remember to handle them gently. The recent samples are precious, you know. Alright, you can go."
True to his rigorous nature, the God of Medicine gave the reminder in all seriousness.
The group nodded frantically as if pardoned from death. After throwing the piglets a look that said good luck, you're on your own, they all fled in panic.
Tch. Their resistance to negative potions keeps getting stronger and stronger. It's making the supply of fresh materials smaller and smaller.
Muttering in disappointment, the God of Medicine gently placed each pink piglet onto a sickbed, then...
...used restraining spells and chains to pin them spread-eagle.
Amid a chorus of clinking glassware, the God of Medicine swirled several transparent potion tubes glowing in different eerie colors, walked to the bedside, and asked the patients in a patient, gentle voice,
"I'm about to begin treatment. If you agree, blink once."
A warm, caring doctor-patient atmosphere naturally blossomed as their eyes met.
One minute... two minutes... three minutes...
...five minutes later.
"Mm, you blinked. Don't worry. Just cooperate with the treatment, and I'll have you cured in no time."
...
The piglets, eyes bloodshot, dry, and aching, silently sent this dedicated and patient healer their sincerest blessings.
As they watched those potions, pink enough to make one shudder, green enough to inspire panic, blue enough to induce despair, being brought to their mouths one by one, the piglets let out hysterical screams and kicked wildly with all four hooves.
They looked like they had been dragged into a slaughterhouse.
At the same time, in the dining hall, Jason heard the shrill squealing of pigs and his hand trembled, dropping his spoon into his bowl.
Staring at the fragrant barley porridge, Jason swallowed and raised his head with a full, ingratiating smile, looking toward the stove.
Thunk!
But just as Jason was about to speak, the gleaming kitchen knife buried one-third of the way into the chopping board, along with the two cooks on the other side shrouded in black miasma and radiating nuclear-grade goodwill, instantly sent a chill down Captain Jason's spine. He cautiously shrank into a corner and did not dare make a sound, staring speechlessly at the ripples spreading across his soup bowl with each sway of the ship.
Two days. It had already been two whole days.
Please hurry up and finish already, brother. People are still waiting outside for you to come save them.
If you do not come out soon, we are going to have to run in there for shelter ourselves.
Ever since a certain someone started pounding stakes and building a nest on the ship, the food in the mess hall had either been too salty or too bland. And all kinds of strange potions, depending on the mood of the Queen of the Pure Land of Bliss, were being randomly infused into meals.
Some soups made diarrhea look like a minor issue. Paralysis, confusion, sluggishness, and pig transformation were the truly deadly side effects. Those with weaker resistance had already been hit several times.
That black-hearted God of Medicine had joined forces with the two cooks, completing a neat self-producing, self-consuming cycle. The unlucky brothers hauled in there had become test subjects for both sides' medicine trials.
Sure, it did build up resistance to side-effect potions. But after having both body and mind repeatedly tortured by the two parties, they would rather fight the Persians to the death than go through that a second time.
When even eating a meal meant keeping your nerves on edge, this life had become impossible.
Tears welled up in Jason's eyes. For the first time in his life, he actually missed the danger of the battlefield and wished they would run into the Persians sooner.
Only then would his words carry weight, and only then would he stop being tormented by this pack of women.
Brother, I curse you with premature ejaculation. I curse you with impotence.
Screeeech!
Just as Jason was seething with resentment, a harsh metallic screech came from the corner. The piercing sound practically drilled through everyone's eardrums, making the Argonauts all turn their heads.
"B-Big Sis... what are you...?"
"I'm done eating fish every day. I'm going out to try a different flavor."
Atalanta shot the captain a cool glance, casually tossed the metal tray she had torn in half onto the table, and turned to leave.
"If there's something you want to eat, once we dock for supplies I'll have someone arrange it."
"Dog meat."
The oppressive gloom around the huntress and the murderous aura between her brows made Jason jolt in alarm. He hurriedly stepped aside and silently offered a prayer for some unlucky guard dog.
"I can mix up a potion. One bottle and it'll fall asleep painlessly."
"M-Me, me, me! I can cast a suppression spell! Or boil water, pluck fur, stuff in spices... I can do anything!"
Medea, Queen of the Pure Land of Bliss, made a friendly suggestion. Beside her, a certain Eagle Witch with shining eyes eagerly joined the group, grabbing a kitchen knife on the way as she chased after them.
These women really are too brutal.
Watching the murderous group head off to trouble the three-headed hellhound, Jason could not help picturing some poor dog being thrown into a pot. He shuddered and motioned for his companions to stay far away from the scene.
This was no time to show loyalty. Better not get close to that thing. It would only bring bad luck.
"Woof woof! Awooo..."
But after a burst of canine whimpering, what followed was the sound of something heavy being dragged around, along with familiar female cries and shrill trembling screams.
At the same time, the ship seemed to be shaking even more violently.
What a beast.
Jason's mouth twitched violently inside the dining hall.
Clang...
At the same time, the dim infirmary shook as well. The God of Medicine, who had been mixing potions at the table, stopped helplessly, looked toward the empty hourglass, and casually lifted the black cloth covering the small greenhouse nearby.
Inside, the snakes had already separated and were lazily curled up in their respective corners.
Strange. The drug's effects should have worn off by now. Did I miscalculate?
Feeling the violent tremors underfoot, the God of Medicine frowned, puzzled.
Then Asclepius seemed to realize something. He froze for a moment, glanced toward the scene of the incident, and shook his head in a meaningful way, a strange smile appearing on his face.
Under the flickering lamplight, several naked heroes were bound to the sickbeds like piglets. Their eyes were hollow and lifeless, foam dripped from their mouths, and it looked as though they had just suffered inhuman torment.
At that very moment, aboard the Viking flagship trailing behind the Argo, the Queen of the Land of Shadows gazed into the distance, turned her thorned spear in her hand, and looked back with interest.
"So. Have you decided?"
"That's right. Once this battle's over, help me snatch him back from those Greek women. After that, you can use him however you like."
Hearing those obscene words carried on the sea wind, Skadi, Goddess of Winter, darkened in expression and nodded without hesitation.
Scáthach lowered her eyes to the trembling thorned spear in her hand, and the corners of her lips lifted.
"Deal."
"Steal him back? Count me in. I'm taking that stupid little brother back to the North too. Why should the King of Jotunheim stay in a dump like Greece?"
Holo, who had heard the commotion, came over while chewing on an apple and voiced her displeasure, boldly making a proud declaration with eager excitement on her face.
"As an ally of the All-Father and an honored guest of Valhalla, His Highness maintains the balance of the Nine Realms. As a Valkyrie in service, it is my duty to escort His Highness back to the Golden Palace!"
Brynhildr, who had been patrolling, could finally no longer suppress the sense of mission in her heart. Pressing down on her violently pounding chest, she pursed her lips and made her declaration.
"To serve our lord and seek out the hero... that is our destiny..."
"Exactly, exactly. The lamb skewers Lord Samael secretly slipped me were the best. We can't leave him to the Greeks!"
Ortlinde and Hildr, who had followed up on either side, nodded in succession.
"That's right. All Valkyries firmly support Lady Skadi in bringing His Highness back. Also..."
The reliable blonde Thrúd at the rear of the group voiced her support as well. But in the next moment, the Valkyrie abruptly changed tone and grabbed the pair of pink rabbit ears on Hildr's head, asking darkly,
"...Whenever it's my turn on watch, no matter where I hide the sheep at home, they get stolen within a few days. Was it you who leaked the location?"
"Thrúd, n-no, no, no! Stop pulling, it hurts, it hurts..."
The pink-haired Valkyrie, having carelessly confessed the evidence of her own crime, wailed while shielding her ears and spinning around with Thrúd.
Realizing that the blonde big sister was truly furious this time, Hildr very unheroically dragged her good friend down with her to split the blame.
"Ortlinde was in on it too. I only handled lookout duty. She drew the map!"
"..."
"Ortlinde, stop running. Explain yourself. Stand still!"
Thrúd, who had been punished again and again for failing to guard the rams, had finally caught the inside agent among the sisters at her side. Instantly enraged, she yanked Hildr by the rabbit ears while chasing after Ortlinde, who had sensed danger and was trying to slip away.
Before long the three Valkyries were bickering and roughhousing all the way off into the distance.
Meanwhile, the previously silent Holo, Scáthach, and Skadi all relaxed their backs and instinctively licked their lips.
Lamb skewers... they really were nostalgic.