"Satisfied?"
Samael leaned against the wall and asked with a smile.
"Satisfied! Very satisfied!"
The Great Goddess crouched on the ground, counting her spoils while kissing and nibbling on the jewels. She nodded again and again like a chick pecking at grain. Even the way she looked at Samael had changed. It was as if she were staring at a glittering little golden statue, her eyes full of heat and hunger.
"Then, before Siduri notices, quietly return the key to the Royal Palace's Divine Tower."
Samael glanced at the sky and spoke faintly, piercing through the tacit understanding between them.
"Key? What key?!"
Ishtar immediately tensed her face and shook her head, playing dumb with terrible acting.
"Come on. If you hadn't stolen the key to the Royal Palace's Divine Tower from Siduri, why would you be sneaking around there at night, fumbling with the door?"
"What do you mean, stolen? You're slandering this goddess! I was only wandering around out of curiosity. Search me if you don't believe me!"
Ishtar put on a shameless expression, her eyes darting around as she even puffed out the only place where she could hide the stolen goods.
Hmph. Only children choose. This goddess wants all of it!
That brazen attitude left Samael with no easy way to act. Seeing this, Ishtar immediately showed a sinister smile of triumph.
They had known each other for so long, yet this guy was still the same. When he was proper, he was more proper than anyone. When he was improper...
Tsk. It was not as if he had ever been improper with this goddess...
For some reason, that thought put Ishtar in a strangely bad mood.
Even without enough evidence, Samael did not doubt his judgment in the slightest. His scrutinizing gaze only grew sharper, and the way he blocked the alley exit made his intent perfectly clear.
"Go on, inspect me! Otherwise, making baseless accusations is blasphemy!"
The goddess believed she had grasped his personality and secured victory. She immediately advanced with her chest thrust out in arrogant confidence, even hopping in place to prove her innocence.
Clang!
But just as the victorious Ishtar was about to swagger out of the alley, her movements were too large, and a certain Great Goddess's meager figure was not exactly suited to holding things in place. A flash of bright gold slipped from her cleavage and dropped straight to the ground between them.
At the crisp sound of metal striking stone, Samael was left speechless. Looking at Ishtar's frozen face, sweaty forehead, and awkward smile, he felt a helplessness that made him unable to watch.
"Wait. Why is this the Key Sword of the Golden City? Gilgamesh actually left this thing in Siduri's keeping, and you still dared to take it?"
By the light of the fluorite lamp, Samael confirmed the origin of the metal object, slapped his forehead, and had nothing left to say to the thief goddess caught red-handed.
"I was just interested in the legendary Babylonian Treasury. I only wanted to go in and have a look. Yes, just have a look... I swear I won't touch anything..."
Ishtar raised a hand to the heavens and swore, her face full of sincere conviction.
Unfortunately, the arms full of cheap gems and the costly ornaments all over her body were not convincing in the slightest.
"Like I'd believe you."
Expressionless, Samael grabbed Ishtar by the collar, picked up the key sword from the ground, and began dragging this arrested thief back toward the embassy.
"No, no, no... I already got the thing. If I still can't see the Babylonian Treasury, I'll die full of regret!"
Ishtar stubbornly sprawled on the ground, even rolling back and forth across the smooth blue stone pavement.
"How much are you already holding? Isn't that enough?"
"No! It's the Babylonian Treasury, the original archive of human wisdom! What do these scraps count for compared to that? You're my Shepherd King, my sacred marriage partner! I should have a share of that treasury! Why should that gold-glittering bastard have it all to himself? Don't you want to see it? Come with me! You can supervise me! I promise I'll only look!"
The goddess, blinded by greed and reduced to a shameless nuisance, clung to Samael's leg and sobbed to that heartless man, snot and tears included.
Samael's mouth twitched. He had never met a goddess with so little regard for dignity. He even began mourning the tragic people of Uruk in his heart. What sin had they committed to end up with such a disastrous faith...
Oh, no. Her father was already finished. They had stabbed him together.
"We've been married this long, and this goddess has never asked you for anything. The Three Storms, the War of the Titans, the Greco-Persian Wars. I helped you plenty, didn't I? You can't expect me to work for free, right? Not even one look? That's going too far!"
Seeing the King of the Gods before her seem to waver, Ishtar immediately added fuel to the fire. She put on a pitiful expression, tears welling in her eyes as though she had reached the most emotional part.
"It's not impossible..."
Under Ishtar's relentless pestering, Samael finally gave in.
"Samael, I knew I wasn't wrong about you. You're a good snake!"
The Goddess of Heaven beamed and slapped Samael on the shoulder, her excitement and approval plain to see.
But while Ishtar was celebrating, that good snake's expression turned serious, and his tone abruptly changed.
"Final offer. Seventy-thirty split."
"Huh?"
Samael blinked and made a gesture at Ishtar.
"Hush money. I want seventy percent."
"..."
I take it back. You shameless, smoke-belching bastard! I spent thousands of years lurking around Siduri and the others just to get this chance, and you open your mouth asking for seventy percent! Where's your conscience?
This heart-wrenching extortion made Ishtar feel as though a piece of her flesh had been cut away. She was so furious that she snorted and glared.
"Even with the key, do you know where the entrance to the Babylonian Treasury is?"
Samael crossed his arms and leaned against the alley wall, looking at the stunned Great Goddess with faint pity.
"Don't be stupid and break into the Royal Palace's Divine Tower. The Gate of Babylon is in the northwest corner of the outer city, near the sacrificial grounds. And if you want to make it appear, you need a special incantation. Back when I was King of Uruk, I happened to be in charge of allocating supplies. That information is worth seventy percent, isn't it? Otherwise, you won't get so much as a strand of hair."
"Seventy percent it is! Deal!"
At least thirty percent was still profit. Not a loss! Ishtar weighed it for a moment, forced down the pain in her heart, and stretched out her dirty paw to clasp Samael's fingers.
The moment the deal was sealed, the Goddess of Heaven's eyes shone brightly, and a thin, glittering line of drool even slipped from the corner of her mouth.
Now that they were allies on the same thieves' boat, the two estimated that the embassy banquet and idle chatter would not leave them much time.
So they immediately hit it off and prepared to act.
However, after Ishtar stood and took a few steps, she stopped at the alley exit, suddenly turned around, and threatened Samael with a solemn face.
"You... didn't see anything just now, right?"
"..."
Only now do you remember dignity? Where was that earlier? Does dignity cost nothing, so you can just throw it away whenever you like?
Recalling how someone had rolled around throwing a tantrum moments ago, Samael pressed a hand to his forehead again and agreed weakly.
This goddess, whose intelligence clearly disconnected the moment treasure was mentioned, actually nodded in satisfaction, somehow believing that her majestic image had not been damaged in the slightest.
...
The Royal Capital of Uruk, northwest outskirts.
Ishtar stood before a broken section of city wall and began rubbing her hands together. As several runes were drawn, ripples spread across the ancient wall like water.
The goddess's lips curled smugly. Then she grabbed her quietly observing accomplice and leaped in. After a burst of Mana flashed in rainbow-colored aurora, the two arrived before a floating stairway paved with huge stones.
Everything around them was pitch black. At the top of the hundred steps stood a gilded gate more than twenty meters tall, decorated with thousands of gemstones. A four-legged dragon beast roared toward the heavens, devouring the stars and sinking the earth, while fourteen bizarre Magical Beasts each fought bloody battles against humanoid gods.
In the end, the beast with merciful eyes was split in two by a god wielding a giant axe, and humanity's first world was born. Several simple drawings across the vault above outlined the origin of ancient Babylon's mythic legends.
The murals added later, however, carved the Three Storms, the Seven Days of Judgment, and the return of Tiamat, the Goddess of Beginning, upon it in full.
The Divine Spirits would eventually depart, and humanity would walk with their mother.
The two looked up and found that the glowing dome overhead shimmered with shifting stars, sun, and moon.
From the Magecraft patterns alternating regularly between light and dark, one could faintly tell that they were not only decorative, but also the power source for a warning Magecraft array.
"What a waste! Gems should be held in your arms and cherished properly!"
Ishtar's fair neck craned straight upward. As she muttered under her breath, her dry throat kept swallowing.
"Let's go. There are better ones ahead."
Samael grabbed the money-grubbing goddess by the back of the neck and dragged her up the stone steps.
Ishtar was already so dazzled that she did not hear anything strange in his words at all.
After they walked several dozen steps and looked down, they could faintly see an underground river beneath their feet by the dim light of the gem-like stars.
But the riverbed was covered in tons of gold sand, along with scattered agates and jade.
Ishtar's hands stretched out weakly, and her face was full of grief.
Samael looked over this original treasury of human wealth with interest, though he did not have much desire for money himself. So he continued unhurriedly dragging the pained Ishtar up the hundred steps and pushed her before the gilded gate.
Ishtar looked back longingly at the jeweled path behind her. In the end, she hardened her heart and pressed the key sword into the recess of the gilded gate.
With the dull rumble of grinding mechanisms and Magecraft arrays lighting up one after another, Samael and Ishtar appeared inside a massive sand table map.
The base was gold and jade, the mountains were crystal, the rivers were mithril essence, and the city models were made of aurora steel. Above hung suns, moons, and stars carved from gems. Dragon skeletons, phoenix feathers, Chaos Beast claws, demon hearts, and all sorts of rare collections floated in the air under the support of Magecraft arrays, like a vast sea of stars beneath the firmament.
On ascending platforms were displayed the prototypes of Noble Phantasms from various eras. At the very center, upon the golden throne, rested the diamond treasure chest of the highest grade.
Samael roughly estimated the scale of the map model. This area, about half the size of the royal capital, was piled everywhere with gold, jade, and gemstones, dazzling enough to make one dizzy.
"As agreed, thirty percent here is yours. Seventy percent is mine."
Hearing that reminder, the greedy goddess first felt a sharp pang of loss. But the treasury's overwhelming amount of wealth soon made her forget Samael's cut entirely, and she sank completely into counting money, unable to pull herself free.
The goddess casually scooped up handfuls of crystal, agate, sapphire, and other treasures, closed her eyes, and poured them over her face and body as she murmured in excitement.
I'm rich! I'm really rich!
Waaah! I've never seen this many gems in my whole life!
She, the Great Goddess of Uruk, had finally made it big. She finally no longer needed to go out robbing people!
Ishtar rolled excitedly through the pile of gold coins like a plump white maggot.
***
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