Soon enough, Sabuko returned to the Bruger household for dinner.
'...Uh,' Sabuko stared, confused, at the massive bowl of meat over rice set out just for him.
"W-what's the occasion, miss?" he asked, looking at Takos' mom.
Even Takos was speechless, silently comparing their bowls.
"Nothing," she replied, looking away, her face flat. "You're training. You need energy."
Then a dangerous glint flashed in her eyes.
"Become a genin. And once you have, shove that headband in your father's face. Multiple times."
'??????' Sabuko and Takos both short-circuited.
'HOLY NEW BEST GIRL,' Sabuko thought. 'Where'd THAT come from?!'
"Y-yes, ma'am!"
"Call me Lettuce," she said firmly.
"YES, MA'AM." Sabuko started munching.
'I don't even care about the food names anymore.'
Takos' head exploded.
---------- A WEEK LATER ----------
"OIIII, SABUKO!!!" Naruto shouted.
It was midday, and Sabuko was sitting at Ichiraku's stand.
"Oh." Sabuko swallowed and turned around. "Naruto. Whatcha doin'?"
"NO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" Naruto jabbed a finger at him. "Going to Ichiraku's without telling me! That's rotten, believe it!"
Sabuko blinked. "What? I figured you were still doing missions."
'Besides, you also eat here whenever you want, you prick.'
"Hrmmm!" Naruto growled. "ME?! Still chasing cats and pulling weeds?! HAH! I'M WAY PAST THAT STUFF!!" He hopped onto the stool beside him.
"OLD MAN, OLD MAN," he called to Teuchi, "GIMME A BIG ONE! Today's a special occasion, believe it!"
"Comin' up!"
"Listen, Sabuko!" Naruto turned to him. "I'M FINALLY DOING A C-RANK MISSION!"
Sabuko's eyebrows lifted.
'Ah, so it's time for the Zabuza arc? Well, no need to worry. They all survive.'
"Seriously?" Sabuko said, slurping more noodles. "It's been just a week since everyone started doing missions."
"I know! Aren't I amazing?" Naruto grinned, jabbing a thumb at himself. "I'm finally gonna show Kakashi-sensei and Sakura-chan how much better I am than SASUKE."
"Go get 'em, dude." Sabuko finished his bowl. "I have to train with Guy today."
"To that bushy-brow sensei again?"
"Yep." Sabuko nodded.
"You come back beat up every day! Is he even training you!?" Naruto hunched over, narrowing his eyes at him.
'I'm starting to wonder that myself...' Sabuko deadpanned.
He then spotted Sakura, Sasuke, and Kakashi walking up behind them.
"Oh, your posse's here, Naruto." Sabuko nodded toward them.
"Don't say stupid things like that," Sasuke scoffed. "I'd never follow that loser's lead."
"Jeez, Naruto!" Sakura yelled. "We'll be late because of you! We have to escort Tazuna!"
Sabuko looked at Kakashi.
"Yo, Kakashi."
Kakashi lazily raised a hand. "What's up, Sabuko..."
"—sensei."
"—kun."
They both froze, then looked away from each other.
Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura all tilted their heads.
'...Why'd I talk to this kid like we're the same age?' Kakashi thought. 'Weird as hell.'
'We've talked before, but this guy's basically a military general,' Sabuko thought, scratching his head. 'And I'm talking to him like we're buddies. Weird as hell.'
Sasuke sighed.
"Always running off to this ramen stand and wasting our time." He shook his head. "Just stay here, you dunce. The mission would go faster anyway."
"WHAT'S THAT, YOU BASTARD!!?" Naruto growled, eyes blazing.
'Ahh, fuck. Here we go again...' Sabuko sighed.
"You two, stop it...!" Sakura yelled.
"Here you go, Naruto!" Teuchi set the giant bowl down on the counter.
"Ah, okay, thanks, old man!" Naruto turned and started slurping, his anger completely gone.
They all deadpanned as he ate.
'Right. He's a dumbass,' Sabuko thought.
"Right. You're a dumbass," Sakura said out loud with a sigh.
"Anyway, I'mma dip. Good luck with your mission, guys," Sabuko said.
"Mhff...?" Naruto swallowed. "You're leaving already? I just got here, you better believe it."
"I don't have much of a choice, Naruto," Sabuko said, turning to him. "Not if I wanna be a genin again. You know that."
"..." Naruto pressed his lips together and said nothing.
"Well. It'll work out somehow." Sabuko patted Naruto's shoulder as he hopped off the stool and started jogging off. "See ya."
"Bye, Sabuko-kun!" Sakura waved.
Sasuke gave a subtle nod.
Kakashi waved.
"That bushy-brow sensei... is he even strong? He seemed kinda funny," Naruto said.
"Don't worry too much, Naruto," Kakashi said. "Guy is formidable."
"He is?!"
"Very. Almost as strong as I am. Sabuko's in good hands." Kakashi smiled.
"..." Naruto watched Sabuko's shrinking figure. "If you say so, Kakashi-sensei."
A beat.
"More importantly," Naruto said, his voice heavy.
Everyone turned to him.
"WHY AREN'T YOU THAT NICE TO ME, SAKURA-CHAN~...!"
"BECAUSE YOU'RE YOU!" Sakura shrieked.
Meanwhile, Kakashi's eyes followed Sabuko down the street.
His gaze lingered on the way the boy moved.
'...You haven't changed a bit, Guy.'
And so, Sabuko's training went on.
Takos would hear footsteps when he woke up just before dawn. Thinking it was a burglar, he'd creep out of his room with a kunai at the ready.
But all he ever saw was Sabuko's back as he left for training.
Yes. Sabuko kept showing up to train with Guy, without fail. Every single day.
His clones practiced footwork and basic punches with Lee and Hinata. When they weren't around, the clones practiced alone.
And Guy never failed to show up...
And beat Sabuko up.
Sabuko saw no visible progress. More than once, he thought it wasn't working.
But knowing how strong Guy was, and remembering what he'd promised Lettuce, Sabuko kept his mouth shut.
Multiple times, Lee would ask Guy if he can spar with Sabuko himself. And in every single time, Guy forbade him from doing so.
Lee wondered just why Guy didn't want him to witness Sabuko's growth. But figured that he must have a good reason.
And from the shadows, the Mist ninja tailing Sabuko waited patiently every time he came back from training.
Just like that, three weeks passed. It was one day before Team 7 would return from the Land of Waves.
"Haaah... haaah..." Sabuko panted in front of Guy, dripping with sweat.
"ALRIGHT, WARMUP OVER!" Guy shouted. "It's time!"
"...Okay." Sabuko gulped and squared up. "Make it rain...!"
"I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT, YOUNG SABUKO!" Guy shook his head. "It's been a month! You know what that means?!"
Sabuko blinked.
"IT'S TIME TO MAKE YOU A GENIN!" he shouted. "YOUTHFULLY!"
"OHH!!" Sabuko pumped his fists. "DOES THAT MEAN I'M JOINING YOUR TEAM?!"
"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Guy said with a grin.
"..."
"Then... are you gonna talk to Asuma and get me on his team?"
"NOPE!"
"Uh."
A crow flew by.
"...Am I going back to Bolo's team?"
"NOOOO!!!!!!" Guy shouted, punching Sabuko straight into a nearby tree.
"Blrughhrgnt..." Sabuko peeled his face off the bark. "Then how am I supposed to be a genin again...?"
"OBVIOUSLY," Guy replied without missing a beat, "BY PROVING YOUR YOUTH!!"
"...Huh?"
"IN FACT, BY PROVING YOUR YOUTH SO HARD THAT THE HOKAGE HIMSELF WILL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO MAKE YOU A GENIN!"
"I... ugh... I get that." Sabuko stood up, wiping blood from his nose. "But how am I supposed to do that? Challenge HIM to a duel?"
"YESS!!! INDIRECTLY!"
"??????????"
'What the hell is this lunatic talking about?' Sabuko deadpanned.
"Think about it, young Sabuko." Guy's voice settled, turning firm. "How do you prove to the strongest ninja in the village that you're qualified?"
"You do something YOUTHFULLY WORTHY OF A COMPETENT NINJA!"
"THAT'S WHY,"
He pointed at Sabuko.
"TODAY, YOU WILL DO A MISSION! BY YOURSELF!"
Sabuko gulped.
"I'm... allowed to do a solo mission?"
"NOPE!" Guy shouted.
A beat.
"The esteemed Hokage," Guy said, folding his arms, "would never assign a mission to someone disqualified from being a genin. It's a breach of protocol. No matter how qualified you are, he'll never approve something like that."
"That's why," Guy grinned, "I WILL ACCIDENTALLY LEAVE A TIME-SENSITIVE MISSION SCROLL ON THE TABLE IN MY VERY UNLOCKED HOUSE!"
'...Seriously?' Sabuko's eye twitched.
"I SURE HOPE NOBODY SNATCHES IT TODAY AT 8:00 A.M.! OR 8:05 IF I'M LATE! HAHAHAHA!" Guy said as he walked off. "AND I REALLY HOPE THEY DON'T COMPLETE IT IN TIME AND DELIVER IT STRAIGHT TO THE HOKAGE BEFORE THE DAY IS OVER!"
'A solo mission...?' Sabuko gulped. 'And it's timed...?'
Sabuko smirked, shivering.
'Why am I actually excited for this...? Shit...!'
Then he froze.
'Wait. Did he say deliver?'