Chapter 344: Learning to Cook from Raiden Ei
"Wuwuwu, Ms. Herta, I was wrong! I shouldn't have run my mouth!"
The Herta-puppet (the "hater") knelt on the ground, trembling. She didn't want to be "recycled"!
"Heh. 'Pointy head'?"
Big Herta gave a smile that didn't reach her eyes. I'm still too merciful. If I hadn't heard it, you might have actually fooled me.
"It was 'hat'! The language module just glitched!" the Herta-puppet said quickly, its primary goal being "self-preservation."
My life is over.
"Herta, taking your anger out on a puppet... that's not what a rational genius does."
Ruan Mei walked out, speaking up for the Herta-puppet.
She's an angel!
The Herta-puppet was "in tears," if it could cry.
"I've drifted for half my life, regretting only that I never found a true master! I wish to recognize you as my Godmother..." the puppet knelt, clasping its fists.
Big Herta: "(ꐦಠ皿ಠ)"
This is treason! A mere puppet dares to defect?
"..."
Ruan Mei felt a chill. This little thing... it's not trying to 'backstab' me, is it?
"Big Herta, your 'heart' (bust) is small, so your 'heart' (magnanimity) shouldn't be," Kenji said.
"Who are you calling small-chested!?"
The genius, Big Herta, heard the keyword and couldn't help but puff out her definitely-not-"padded" chest.
It wasn't huge, but it was much better than a certain "Tablet."
The words Kenji spoke... didn't do much damage, but the humiliation was extreme.
"Herta, I have some... 'enhancement' potion. Do you want it?" Ruan Mei asked with a light laugh.
"...Who would use that kind of thing!?" Herta's voice faltered for a second, but she immediately refused.
It's just fat. It doesn't raise your IQ. It's useless.
"Your aura is much weaker," Kenji noted, looking at Big Herta. She no longer had an Emanator's strength, just that of a strong Pathstrider.
"The 'bucket head' (Nous) is diverting the Path's power to 1v1 Propagation. Everyone on this Path is affected," Big Herta said dismissively.
To join the Genius Club, all you need is talent to be noticed by Nous.
"Herta, I'll be leaving this world for a while. Don't miss me."
"Huh?" Big Herta's mouth opened. It sounded like Ruan Mei would be gone for a long time. What about our 'togetherness'?
"If you can't bear to part, you can come with us," Ruan Mei smiled.
"Okay."
"Just to be clear, I'm only curious about other worlds! No other reason!" Big Herta agreed instantly.
Ruan Mei and Kenji looked at each other and smiled. Another classic "nothing to see here" excuse. Big Herta was really not "frank" (tsundere).
Before leaving, Kenji used his Star Forger power to give Suixing a buff. Her "elbow strikes" against Nous became even more ferocious.
...
"Tia-mom, I don't want to eat this!"
Shi-kun was trembling, looking at the pot of black sludge Tiamat was holding. It was a "dish" beyond all comprehension. It looked... inedible.
He was just a kid, not a guinea pig!
"Child, I learned this from Ei. Her face... she just looks like she'd be a good cook," Tiamat said.
"Huh?"
Kenji, the father, glanced at Raiden Makoto. Someone... actually asked your sister for cooking lessons?
One dared to teach, and one dared to learn.
Raiden Ei's "wife-material" face... does make people mistakenly assume she can cook.
"Well... I didn't know at the time! By the time I found out, Tiamat was already 'learning'!" Raiden Makoto said, not knowing whether to laugh or cry.
How foolish... learning to cook from her sister.
"What ingredients did Tiamat use?"
Kenji couldn't help but ask. The ingredients in this world were all delicious. But this black "porridge" Tiamat was holding... he had zero desire to even taste.
"...Puffer Whale meat... ground BB Corn..." Atashino listed them.
She had processed the ingredients herself. There was absolutely nothing wrong with them.
"It's... 'porridge,' I guess?"
But this black "porridge"... even as a veteran chef, she couldn't comprehend it. It was just like "The Hour of Judgment."
Kenji pictured the ingredients. None of them are black...
"Kenji, I remember Eresh and the others call Tiamat 'Mother,' right? Why don't you bring them over to... 'taste-test' their mother's cooking," Alice suggested "seriously."
"Interesting idea."
Kenji went to the Fate world and grabbed the two goddesses.
"!"
This is bad! Someone is trying to harm us!
When Ishtar and Ereshkigal heard their mother was cooking, they were curious and agreed immediately.
They just didn't expect this.
If you told them it was the "Primordial Chaos" in a pot, they wouldn't doubt it.
"Drink."
Seeing them, Tiamat beamed and walked over with the pot.
Blub...
Black bubbles surfaced and popped, over and over. The viscous state... was completely unappetizing.
"Can I... not?" Ishtar's smile was strained.
She would rather go to the Underworld and get struck by lightning than drink this.
"No. Good children can't be picky eaters," Tiamat said seriously.
"Aa~"
Tiamat scooped up a spoonful and slowly advanced on Ishtar's mouth.
"You shouldn't refuse Mother's cooking."
Ereshkigal grabbed Ishtar's head and forced her mouth open. Tiamat seized the opportunity and shoved the spoon in.
"Erk—!!!"
Ishtar let out a tragic shriek that "NEO" would have loved. An indescribably complex flavor assaulted her taste buds.
The viscous black "porridge" flowed down her throat, into her stomach...
She felt the 'Principle of Return'... her soul was about to flee to the Underworld.
"The Underworld... is not accepting Ishtar at this time." Ereshkigal couldn't let her escape. She sealed the Underworld.
If you leave, I'll be the one facing Mom's dark cooking!
Better you die, sister, than me.
"Eresh... you...!"
Ishtar's eyes widened in disbelief. You... backstabbed me?!
The Underworld... rejected me.
Tiamat didn't think much of it. If she's not dead, she's fine. There's still so much left!
"Ah, how harmonious."
Kenji wiped away a non-existent tear. I'm so touched.
"I see..." Raiden Ei seemed to understand something.
"Sister... when we get back to Teyvat, please... help me and Saiguu... hold down Miko."
Since Yae Miko won't eat it willingly... "passive enjoyment" is also an option.
Raiden Makoto: "..."
What did you just 'learn'?!
Are you trying to lose Miko as your familiar?
Raiden Ei: As a god's familiar... isn't "taste-testing" part of her duty?