Kiara's expression softened. Her lips curved into a sad smile. "Forgive me." Her voice was low, heavy with a weight I knew well. "Promised Maia I'd protect you above everything else. But I failed. Failed her. Failed you."
My heart fluttered with a new pain. Maia's childhood weighed on me, just as it weighed on Kiara. Tears flowed freely. A sob escaped. Despite the pain, I struggled to rise. Hugged her. "N-no… please." Words failed me. The pain was immeasurable. I tried to stay steady. "This pain belongs to all of us. But we'll get through it together."
Kiara lifted me from the bath, sat me in the chair, and covered me with a towel.
"I-I knew the risks when I went. Being tortured was a consequence of my own choice. Deep down, I'd always sensed I would be caught." My voice faltered, but I continued. "You did everything to protect me. Wherever Maia is, she—" A searing pain pierced my head. Dizziness. The world spun.
Kiara held me, keeping me from collapsing.
White flashes filled my vision. The edges of my surroundings lit up. My mouth opened. I murmured disconnected sentences. Then… darkness.
I Came Back.
Consciousness returned. Heavy eyes. A numb body. I was dressed. Lying down. My vision still blurred, though stable.
Kiara worked on a holoscreen. Closed it, then approached me. "You're burning up." She placed a pill in my hand. "Here. Take this."
I swallowed the medicine. My head still spun.
"What was that?" Kiara watched me closely. Her gaze serious.
"I resisted a very aggressive induction. I think I'm beyond recovery." My chest tightened. "If this continues for another half lunation…" I hesitated. "It means my brain has suffered permanent damage." I rubbed my temples. Pain dug its claws into my mind.
"Permanent damage?"
"Yes. In the hippocampus." My delivery was clinical. Cold. "If recovery takes too long, I'll suffer from hallucinations and psychosis." My muscles contracted. "Buy an antipsychotic. It'll help reduce this effect. With luck, make it disappear."
Kiara held my gaze.
The truth was, I already knew. I had lost hope of getting better. Even if the pain stopped, something inside me had already transmuted.
S-2879 • L9 Fluxluna • D13–D15
"Fluxluna opens a current in high radiance. Tramabe weaves a signal across the open sky. Irrali radiates gold in living silver. Irrasi seals fullness in a sweeping song."
In the middle of the night, I woke sweating. The voices still whispered. The chains still weighed on me. The screams still echoed, but when I opened my eyes, everything was silent. Only my own heartbeat. Too fast. Too hard.
Between days and nights, reality dissolved. Resisting and existing mingled in an endless cycle of exhaustion. The world turned, but I remained trapped. Relentless nightmares.
Awake, panic attacks dragged me back to that place. The smell. The cold. The voices. Memories of torture repeated themselves. So vivid. So real.
I woke with nosebleeds. A weak body. A shattered mind. Overwhelming stress.
My Maiden's strength helped me fight every day to stay in control. Preserve what remained of me.
The attacks gradually diminished. Kiara's help and the nanomedicines were essential to my improvement. Hallucinatory episodes still came every three days. I took Bacopa monnieri, enhanced with nanotechnology, which acted on the hippocampus.
The memory disturbances and mental fatigue eased. My weight returned. My hair grew. The swelling disappeared. My organs regenerated. My wounds healed. I could have had the scars removed. Cosmetic treatments. Regenerative tissue. New skin. Yet I accepted them. They were part of my story now. I drew on the love of my Mother phase to embrace them. Inside me, the fresh wounds healed at their own pace. A ruptured flow that had changed my inner waters forever.
Kiara and I spoke little. Most of the time, I slept or fought my own mind. The exhaustion of being constantly alert consumed me.
Our few interactions were quiet. She helped me bathe, take my medicine, and eat. Few questions. Mutual understanding. Just presence.
S-2879 • L10 Tramaluna • D07 Abeli
"Tramaluna weaves the sky in a clear thread. Abeli kindles a bud of radiance above. The tide draws signs in living silver. The story carries on steadily, in growing light."
I was almost healed.
Kiara approached me.
Renewed with my Maiden, I spoke first. "Can I ask you something? W-why did that girl die in Nobody's Land?" My voice faltered. "Why wasn't she taken to…" I swallowed hard. My fingers tightened around the blanket. I closed my eyes.
The blood. The stained floor. The thought of someone so small suffering that way hurt me deeply. My stomach churned. She could have survived if…
Kiara looked away. "Because there's a hierarchy." Her voice was neutral. Calculated. "Once someone's been through the chamber and still rebels against the order…" She paused. A dense silence. "That day, I knew the girl would die." Her gaze stayed firm. "I hastened the inevitable."
My heart tightened, but I stayed centered. The truth was… I knew. I relaxed my hands. Searched for words amid the uncertainty. "Why was Maia's fate different?"
Kiara ran a hand through her hair. "Because she could make them doubt themselves." She placed her hand over mine. An unexpected touch. "Almost recovered, right?" A crooked smile.
Though she still held back from telling me everything, I understood. Certain truths, certain revelations could only unfold to the universe's rhythm. I had to remain serene. I set those thoughts aside. Nodded.
"Good." Kiara watched me closely. That sharp, inquisitive gaze. She knew what came next.
"I know what you're going to say." I took a deep breath. "It's about the mission in Moscow?"
Her gaze confirmed it.
"I'm going." My voice was firm. "Regardless of what happened. I still feel the same." I smoldered with determination.
The android raised an eyebrow. "Sure?" Kiara watched me as though recording that moment. As though saying she would keep it from happening again. "If you feel you need to stop, if—"
"No. Don't say that." My words came quickly. "What I feel is still the same. What I feel for her… I mean…" I smiled. This time, tenderly. "Now that I know her a little better, I'm only more certain of my feelings."
Kiara gave a knowing smile. The first time I had seen her smile that way. Because, for the first time since everything happened, there was a spark of hope. "Then let's go to Russia."