S-2878 • L4 Abeluna • D27 Silenri
"Abeluna gathers radiance in a slender curve. Silenri seals the thread at the sky's edge. The tide breathes silver in a gentle return. The story already feels the portal kindle."
I sent Maia messages about the blood samples. No reply. Almost a lunation without any sign of her. I opened the bioscreen. Closed it. Checked again. Maybe I had missed a notification. But the silence continued.
"Akiyama?" Daren tapped on the door.
I sighed, searching for serenity. Sending a message was so simple. "Come in."
Daren sat. "Sorry to bother you, but where are the samples from the past few quartelunas? I'm close to the testing phase."
I pressed my lips together. "I've already explained. She's officially out of the study."
"I know, I know. But we're so close…"
I shrugged. "My hands are tied."
"All right. I'll wait. Please let me know if you hear anything." He offered a strained smile and left.
I rubbed my temples. Exhausted. CogniSynth. Daren. Maia. The weight in my chest grew whenever I thought of her. Obviously, something was going on. She led a life… my head throbbed. I wanted to rest. Switch off. Just a little. The idea grew more appealing by the minute.
Before leaving, I opened a secret compartment in the desk and took out a vial of Pefentanil. I wanted to escape reality. Decided my mind needed to shut down.
At Home
I put on comfortable pajamas, prepared snacks, and went to the living room. Everything ready. Soft lighting. I switched to a random channel playing a romance film.
I picked up the vial and syringe. Drew up a few milligrams. Hesitated for half a second. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe… No. I wanted this. Injected it into my forearm. The biochip accelerated the effect's onset within seconds.
I tipped my head back and closed my eyes. Dopamine took over my brain. My perception heightened. I smiled at that delicious euphoria. Let my thoughts explore unknown places.
I blinked. Shining pixels came toward me, filling my eyes with beauty. Music played, vibrating strongly. The characters' voices distorted. Deep sounds. Fast. Slow. Everything moved in slow motion. Sound and image mingled.
I frowned. This was so strange and funny. I burst out laughing, relaxing further.
The doorbell rang. A ring entered my mind ring ring ring I couldn't even remember getting up. Laughed at the thought. How do I do things again? I mean, wait. Did I order food? Had I eaten and forgotten? I laughed harder.
Forgot to check the security holoscreen. Ah, whatever. Must be something I ordered. I opened the door. Seconds. Minutes. An eternity seemed to pass. "Un-be-liev-a-ble." I waved my hands in front of me. "I'm hallucinating." A breathy laugh escaped, and I closed the door.
Maia stopped me. Stared at me, brow furrowed.
I brought my face close to hers. Strands of hair fell over her forehead. Eyebrows and lashes so white. "Looks real." I tilted my head.
"Did you take something?" The mirage's voice vibrated in my ears.
My eyelids drooped. "Even the voice? Seems so real. Even when I try to escape you, my mind makes you appear. So confusing."
After hearing my confession, the illusion of Maia stepped inside. She looked sad. "Why do you want to escape me?"
"Yeah… you must've come out of this little head of mine." I covered my mouth as I laughed. "Am I talking too loudly? Hardly matters. Thought it was food. Maybe I already ate." I returned to the sofa.
Maia followed and picked up the Pefentanil vial from the sofa. "Everything makes sense now." Her words sounded delayed, as though the sound arrived a second late. As though I were dreaming.
"Wow… you're so beautiful. Even more in real life." I touched her face. Stroked her eyebrows, then moved down to her cheeks, squeezing them gently. "Wow! My mind captured every detail of you. I'm impressed. But you… you…"
She placed her hand over mine. "Aki…"
"I don't wanna escape." I ignored her. After all, she was only an illusion. "Just wanna think about you less." My mouth grew dry. Thirst came, and I took a gulp of water. "Best water I've ever had in my life!" I gave a breathy laugh, adjusting my hair. "This feeling is so inevitable. So crystal clear…"
"Hey, you're not—"
I silenced her with a finger against her lips. "Illusion, why do you sound like Maia? In my head, you say things like, 'You're beautiful.' 'I missed you.' Or, 'This happened over those quartelunas…'" I sighed. "But what happened? Will you tell me? Will you ever let me know your world… the way you know mine?"
Maia's smile was so dazzling.
Warmth bubbled inside me. The dopamine intensified. I smiled, rubbing my nose against hers. "You really are beautiful."
The mirage caressed my neck. "I know… but you're the only color in this world."
"Hmm… now you sound more like the Maia in my head." I chuckled. "The real Maia would say something else."
"Hey, I would say that."
I bit the inside of my cheek. "Seeing you, even as a mirage, makes me so happy all the anxiety disappears."
Before I could react, Maia kissed me and pressed my body against hers. My brain exploded with dopamine and serotonin. Euphoria swelled, filling me completely. I returned the kiss with the same intensity. Her hand traveled down my back. Held my waist tenderly. Every touch so alive.
"So unfair. You're only an illusion," I grumbled when we parted. I ran my fingers over her flushed cheekbones.
"It's unfair that you're like this and I have to hold back." Her disappointed voice contradicted her predatory aura. She bit her lip. Held me tighter.
My face burned. Even as a hallucination, she affected me profoundly. I shook my head. "Wish you were here. Where are you? What are you doing? Do you think about me too?"
Maia's laughter filled my ears.
"Your laugh feels so good." I rested my forehead against hers.
She nibbled my cheek. Made me meet her amber eyes. Her gaze reached my soul. "I'm here with you. And you're all I think about."
I stood, too embarrassed even to face an illusion of Maia. "Even captured how you unsettle me. Go away." I waved my hand, trying to dispel her image.
She remained clear. "Want me to leave?" The illusion approached. Gently held my wrists.
"No. But I wanted the real Maia. You vanished. Disappeared without a word." The thought brought sadness. All the euphoria drained away. "Feeling this is so new to me. The thought of losing you is terrifying." My eyes burned.
Was I really saying this? But… it was true. I wanted her beside me. That life she led seemed so…
Maia hugged me. Let me cry. Caressed my face and wiped away the persistent tears. "Aki—"
"No. Don't say anything. You're only an illusion." I sat on the sofa. She only said what I projected. I rested my head on a cushion. Drowsiness. Lethargy. Mild depression. My mind wandered. Everything darkened quickly. My inner voice grew distant. Distorted. I surrendered to sleep. "I'm sleepy. When I wake up…"
Hours Later
I woke in panic. My racing heart seemed ready to leap out of my mouth. Breathing was impossible beneath the weight in my lungs. My muscles ached. My hands shook. Chills traveled through my body. Cold sweat trickled down my face. I rubbed my feverish forehead. The post-euphoria effects had thrown my body out of balance.
"Hey. It's okay." Her familiar, calm voice resonated through me. She stroked my hands. "It'll pass soon." A sleepy Maia watched me, rubbing her eyes.
I frowned. Slowly, a light went on in my head. "N-no… impossible… tell me it's a lie. It can't be." My chest tightened. My brain still fought the logic.
She was supposed to be far away. Yet here she was.
Maia smiled, amused.
"N-no… that was you yesterday? Tell me it wasn't?" I covered my face, peeking between my fingers.
Please tell me it wasn't.
She nodded.
"Oh, no! I should've…" I groaned.
Maia stretched as she stood. "Gonna make us breakfast."
I confess, embarrassed as I was, I would have liked to wake to that sight every day. I buried my face in the pillow and closed my eyes. "It was real."
Soon afterward, Maia brought a tray: chocolate pancakes, a bowl of berries, plain yogurt, and apple juice. Sat across from me.
We ate together.
"Delicious! My pancakes are baby food compared to yours." I tried to forget what had happened and focus on the food's sweetness. Chewed slowly, as though I could swallow what I felt.
She raised an eyebrow. "Feeling better?"
"No. Even with the biochip, the withdrawal will take a while to pass. I'll take a bath to help ease the symptoms."
Maia narrowed her eyes mischievously. "Hmm. Love to help."
I scowled. "How bold! No need."
Maia smirked. "Sure? I can reach places you ca—"
I threw a cushion in her face.
She burst out laughing.
I sighed, surrendering. "Maybe later…"
Maia lit up, eyes shining.
We finished eating.
I stretched, avoiding thoughts of injecting more Pefentanil. The truth was, Maia's presence was enough. She gave me the dopamine I craved.
Maia moved closer. Her penetrating gaze crossed every defense. "Why did you do it?"
Well, I was still unprepared to say certain things. "Because life calls for a little numbness."
Maia's expression said she knew I was hiding the truth. "About what you said…"
"No… please. Pretend none of that happened." I tried to force a smile. Failed.
Maia kissed my fingers and pressed them against her face. "Wish you felt differently. That you felt good… that if you cried… it would be different from yesterday. The sadness I caused you. I…" Her voice lowered with guilt. She drew my arms around her neck.
"No…" Words escaped me. The opiate's negative effects left me dazed. The sadness in my heart numbed me. "I'm afraid. You came into my life, showing me a side I'd never known. I'm lost trying to handle it."
Maia hugged me, stroked my hair, and kissed my forehead.
"Why are you here?"
She gave a sweet smile. "To see you." That was when I noticed an almost-faded bruise around her left eye. Maia followed my attention. Ran a finger over her face. Her smile diminished.
I rested my head on her shoulder and poked her cheek. "Will you tell me someday?" I searched her eyes. Tried in vain to reach the soul hidden beneath so many layers. I wanted to ask, but perhaps some truths needed to stay in the dark.
Maia held my gaze. Communicated through the invisible threads connecting us. The only answer that was enough.
"You know what? It hardly matters. Whatever's hidden behind this… behind you…"
Maia kissed me.
"Yeah…" I was breathless when we parted. "You get it."
Our laughter mingled.