"Huh? You're offering to help me on your own, Kurama? Over something this small? That's rare..."
Naruto immediately stopped rolling around and sprang up onto Kurama's shoulder, making sure the fox could see him clearly. His eyes sparkled with mischief, and he tried to hold back a grin as he teased, "So, when you suddenly took over my body earlier… it wasn't just to get some fresh air, huh~?"
Suppressing the urge to cackle, Naruto rubbed his hands together, his smirk growing wider. His thoughts were already spiraling—starting from 'A Hundred Ways Uzumaki Naruto Might Die' and dangerously trending toward 'One Thousand Tragic Ends for Naruto'.
"There's no such thing as a free lunch. Especially not when you offer to help," he said with a gleam in his eye. "So, come on, spill it—did you do something shady? Or are you hiding something juicy from me again? C'mon, lemme laugh at your expense~"
At that moment, Naruto—still a boy in appearance—looked less like a Jinchūriki and more like a scheming pimp who'd just spotted a new customer walking through the door. He even looked like he was about to wiggle his hips and shout, "Come on in, boss~!"
Kurama inwardly winced. This wasn't going according to plan. The clumsy deflection he'd thrown together clearly wasn't enough to distract Naruto—if anything, it had only fired up his curiosity.
"H-hey now… don't just sit there being all quiet," Naruto drawled in a sing-song voice. "Come on, lil cutie~ Confess now, and I'll go easy on you~"
Kurama turned his head away. Not because he was afraid to meet Naruto's eyes—he simply couldn't bear to look at that irritatingly smug grin for even one more second. If he did, he might slap Naruto right off his shoulder and into the dirt.
"Hmph. I already knew you weren't as serious and noble as you pretend to be. But honestly, Uzumaki Naruto—could you try to act with a shred of dignity? You are my Jinchūriki!"
Kurama crossed his arms, tail flicking irritably, but kept his gaze firmly averted. He didn't dare look at Naruto, lest he lose control and swat him like a fly.
"If the other tailed beasts find out I've been saddled with a host like you… I'll never hear the end of it," he muttered.
But Kurama had clearly underestimated Naruto's ability to dig into a wound and twist it until it hurt.
"Pfft—so that's what you're worried about? Easy fix," Naruto said, raising a finger dramatically. "Just don't tell them. It's not like you're the type to share your embarrassing little secrets with the others anyway, right? I mean, come on. You, volunteering that for their amusement? Yeah, right."
He jabbed the air for emphasis, his other hand on his hip.
"In other words, it's just you and me in this seal. No one else can see or hear what happens in here. So unless you talk, or I talk… this never happened. Right?"
Kurama opened his mouth to argue… but hesitated. "W-Well… I mean, technically yes, but…"
"But?" Naruto leaned in with that same infuriating grin. "But what?"
Kurama scratched at his head, growing more flustered by the second. For all his centuries of life, he'd never been good at lying. Or arguing. Especially not with a hyperactive, nosy blond brat who'd made it his life's mission to get under his skin.
"Pffffft—HAHAHAHA! You're lecturing me about dignity?" Naruto howled, clutching his stomach. "Look at you right now, Kurama! Where's the terrifying 'head of the Nine Tailed Beasts' aura gone? You look like a grumpy housecat!"
Kurama glared, but there was a subtle, visible relief on his face. Naruto's laughter meant he'd stopped pushing. For now. The fox made a show of huffing and puffing, then grumbled, "Are you still interested in finding that Uchiha brat or not? Because if you're not, I'll go take a nap—"
"NO, NO, NO—of course I'm interested!" Naruto sprang up in a blur. "This info is life or death! It's the difference between walking out of this test like a winner… or being dragged out on a stretcher!"
He clasped his hands together, eyes wide and shimmering. "Please, Kurama~? I'll go immediately after you tell me. Promise! No more teasing!"
Kurama narrowed his eyes, watching him carefully. Naruto was being too cooperative… but eventually nodded. "Tch. That's more like it."
He turned and began sketching a rough map on the floor with one of his claws. "Listen carefully. The Uchiha kid's here. From this point, take this route and—"
Naruto studied the map intently, cross-referencing it with his mental image of the village. "So that's where he is… no wonder I couldn't sense him—he's way beyond my normal range. Jeez, he really went all out…"
His finger paused on the map. "…He's already halfway through the course. But Kurama—why are there three dots around his marker?"
Kurama blinked. "Oh? That? Just some… random people who happened to 'corner' him and are currently trying to beat the crap out of him."
"Wait. What?!" Naruto's body tensed—then he vanished.
Kurama didn't even have time to finish his sentence before Naruto's consciousness shot back to his body and seized control.
"Phew…" Kurama sighed as the space finally quieted. He collapsed onto the floor with a groan. "Handling Naruto's like fighting Shukaku for ten days straight…"
But a smug grin crept across his face.
"He's still just a kid in the end. Push the right buttons, and even Naruto becomes obedient…"
What Kurama didn't realize was that Naruto had already figured everything out—everything.
Because this seal, with its bright, cozy atmosphere, had been remodeled by Naruto himself over the years. It wasn't just more comfortable—it allowed him and Kurama to link their minds directly whenever they shared the space.
Just like Kurama had caught Naruto thinking ill of him earlier… Naruto had caught everything Kurama was worrying about the moment he returned to the seal.
From the appearance of that familiar old presence…
To Sasuke's current situation…
Naruto had known the entire time. He'd simply dragged out the conversation to mess with Kurama—both for revenge, and to buy Sasuke time to vent on those poor idiots who dared corner him. After all, the more Sasuke vented now, the fewer bruises Naruto would have to endure later.
Kurama, so proud of his deception, hadn't even realized he'd been counterplayed from start to finish.
Meanwhile, Naruto, now fully reengaged with the exam, was dashing ahead with renewed focus. Neither he, nor the vast majority of anxious hopefuls awaiting results at the Ninja Academy, realized that the Chūnin Exams this year had attracted a few… unexpected visitors.
Old acquaintances of the Hyuga Clan.
Or rather, people deeply tied to the very incident that had driven a wedge between Hyuga Neji and Hyuga Hinata before the exams had even ended…