The moment he felt his sleeve gripped tightly in Ino's palm, Shikamaru had no choice but to stop moving.
Then came her voice—soft, gentle, and completely out of character—carried by the warm breeze into his ears.
The unexpected tenderness made Shikamaru instinctively shiver.
'Tch. Troublesome. Her awareness sure is sharp… when it doesn't matter.'
With the corners of his mouth twitching, Shikamaru rolled his eyes helplessly.
He slightly averted his gaze to avoid letting Ino see his expression, and instinctively lowered his voice.
Lips parting just barely, he began mumbling like a buzzing mosquito.
"'You didn't notice a single weird thing before this… even though it was obvious… or wait, did your IQ finally come back, Ino?'"
But even the sharpest minds have their blind spots…
Muttering under his breath, Shikamaru—who had never been good at dealing with girls—forgot something crucial.
Not only was Ino's curiosity dialed up to the max right now, but she just so happened to be leaning right next to his ear.
To illustrate how close they were: if someone gave them a tiny nudge from the side, they'd probably end up lip-to-lip.
And Ino wasn't just any girl. She was a naturally gifted sensory-type ninja.
Her father, Yamanaka Inoichi, was one of the most elite sensory-nin in the entire village.
There's a saying: "The student surpasses the master."
Having grown up under his influence, learning by example, and absorbing techniques like a sponge, Ino had long since developed a more refined and precise control over her sensory abilities than her peers.
So Shikamaru's attempt to sneak in a low-key mutter? Yeah—dead on arrival.
Had there been a bit more distance between them, maybe he'd have had a chance to slip it past her…
But in a situation like this, where their faces were practically touching?
With power roughly equal between the two of them, there was no world in which Shikamaru could whisper without being caught.
…Sigh.
Sure enough, the moment the last word left his lips, Ino's previously soft and gentle smile froze.
She paused for a beat, then extended her arm—and in a seemingly affectionate gesture, hooked it around Shikamaru's neck.
But hidden behind his body, her fingers found his cheek and began twisting it.
"Oh~? Sorry~ Sorry~ I think my ears glitched a little just now, so I didn't quite catch what you said~"
Her voice remained syrupy sweet as she pinched and tugged at his face, distorting his usual lazy, disinterested expression into something straight-up comical.
Then, leaning even closer, her tone shifted into a dangerously innocent whisper:
"Shikamaru-kun, did you just say something? Could you say it again for me?"
"Aghhh—ow ow ow ow ow! Let go, Ino! Let go, that hurts—!"
Shikamaru knew she wasn't using much strength, but the sudden pinch to the cheek confirmed his worst fear:
She'd heard everything.
His eyes darted around rapidly before he bent over slightly and cried out in fake pain, doing his best to appear pitiful and harmless.
Seeing his exaggerated reaction, even Ino—who knew she hadn't been rough—began to doubt herself.
Especially under the strange stares of Chōji nearby, who looked on in shock and confusion.
Suddenly self-conscious, Ino's "lady-like image" felt like it had just crumbled to dust.
"Don't be so dramatic! I… I wasn't even using that much force…"
Blushing slightly, Ino quickly let go of his cheeks, pulling back from their faux-intimate pose and pouting in exasperation.
"Hmph! Let's see if you still dare talk behind my back next time!"
"Uh—no no no, of course not! I wasn't talking behind your back! I didn't say anything! You must've misheard! Hahaha…"
"Hmm? Still trying to deny it?"
"No no no! What I meant was—"
Seeing Ino cross her arms and frown, Shikamaru felt the pressure mounting.
He immediately shut his mouth, gave a nervous laugh, and pointed ahead as a distraction.
"Look, Naruto and the others are way ahead now. If we don't get moving, we'll fall behind."
Shikamaru knew Ino's short attention span well. With a little stalling and a change of subject, she'd usually forget why she was mad in the first place.
This was his tried-and-true strategy—battle-tested and reliable.
...Or at least, it used to be.
Ino simply smiled and followed closely behind, gently patting his shoulder and fluttering her eyes like an innocent child.
"Hmm~ Sure, we can keep walking. But Shikamaru, you'll have to tell me something along the way."
"What…?"
"Specifically—when exactly did you figure out Naruto's secret identity?"
Though she didn't stop him, Ino clearly wasn't letting him off the hook.
And her reason? Utterly shameless:
"After all," she said with a smirk, drawing out her words, "it was the proctor you recognized who told us to save time by walking and talking, right~? Or are you planning to ignore his instructions now too, Shika—maru—kun~?"
Shikamaru froze mid-step.
After a moment of stunned silence, he turned his head slowly, his face stiff and awkward.
"...What? Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Oh, it's nothing… I was just wondering if you're really Ino."
"...Hah? The hell are you saying? If I'm not Ino, then what, you are?!"
"No no, what I meant is…"
Slowing his pace so Ino and Chōji could catch up, Shikamaru looked her up and down with a serious expression.
Once he saw her squirm under his intense gaze, he let a smirk creep into the corner of his lips and said in a deadpan tone:
"Ino, quoting someone else's authority to threaten me…
Suddenly acting all clever and manipulative…
You must be an imposter."
"...Excuse me?! Imposter? IQ?! What are you even—wait, oh…"
Ino blinked in confusion at first, but halfway through her sentence, realization dawned.
"...I see now. I get it. In that case—Shikamaru, it's my turn to ask you a question."
With an eerily calm smile, Ino cracked her knuckles and slowly closed the distance.
"Do you know when someone instinctively screams 'AH!' without meaning to?"
Given Shikamaru's IQ, he didn't need much time to figure it out.
'That's when someone gets hit so hard the pain triggers a reflexive scream...'
The real problem, however, wasn't the riddle.
It was the intent behind it.
Ino was clearly just looking for an excuse to beat him up!
Even if he answered correctly, it wouldn't matter!
"Wait wait wait, Ino, let's not be hasty! Calm down—"
Cursing himself for opening his big mouth, Shikamaru began to edge away, trying to create just enough distance to run if necessary.
It looked like a solid escape plan, perfectly timed—
But there's a saying: plans never keep up with change.
And Ino, dead set on payback, wasn't about to give him any room to breathe.
"I was just joking! Trying to lighten the mood!"
"Lighten the mood by roasting me?! Shikamaru, was that fun for you?!"
"I-I—ah! Didn't you want to know how I figured out Naruto's identity?! I can tell you—"
"Oh, now you remember? Too—late—Shikamaru!"
"No no no—Ino, please calm—AHHHHH!!!"
And so, under Chōji's pitying, slightly horrified gaze, a series of wailing shrieks rang out through the quiet alley.
Screams so sharp, so pitiful, so tragic… they could move the coldest heart to tears.
Anyone passing by might assume someone was being assaulted against the wall.
"Mess around and find out," huh, Shikamaru?
Well, you found out.