"I WILL NOT DO THIS TRASH MARRIAGE!!"
A very beautiful and charming woman screamed with her lungs out in the middle of the big massive hall. Her extremely seductive figure was trembling with anger like an earthquake, Causing her massive peaks to bounce up and down under her tight dress like two big watermelons.
'What the fuck? Where am I? Is this a dream?'
Ren opened his eyes and looked around with his eyeballs.
He was sitting in a huge hall of big size. It was filled with people who looked like they straight up came from Japanese Yakuza movies. Like big burly men, veiny tattoos, Katanas, Cigars, Bad ass scars and all.
His brain started to buffer the memories like a slow computer. Before sleep, He was reading a dog poop harem slop webnovel.
It was so bad it made his eyes want to bleed water, but because it had very good descriptions of mature women bodies with seductive figures it made his little brother stand up. So he heavy-heartedly continued reading with his right hand busy.
And now? He was dreaming about the dog blood smut novel in his real sleep!
He looked at the beautiful girl's seductive body. She was saying no adamantly.
Wait a minute...
Ren's eyes widened like big saucers, This looked exactly like the setup of the starting!
The very first chapter scene! The scene where she says no adamantly to the marriage, Then the marriage contract is annulled.
Then the angry young master kidnaps her in a black van to play with her seductive body. And then the protagonist jumps out of nowhere like a ninja, beats the young master like a drum, saves her, and that's how the protagonist gets his first harem member to do papa-papa with.
And naturally, she will be forgotten after ten chapters, Very natural. This is the iron law of harem slops!
Ren looked around the huge hall of big size.
'Wait,' Ren thought in his heart, 'Where is that stupid young master?'
He looked left and right to find the villain. The young master who was so evil but had one big secret.
He couldn't even get his little brother up!
Yes, The young master in the novel had a broken PP, It did not work. At all. It was dead like a dry salted fish, Even if a naked fairy danced in front of him it wouldn't salute! He was a born eunuch if one must say.
Ren looked down at his own hand resting on the black table.
He saw a ring, A big gold ring with a red ruby snake on it. The familiar ring of the villain!
'Holy shit!! In this dream he is me!!'
Ren almost fell out of his soft chair, He was the young master!
Now, Some people would feel terrible, Very terrible. Being the evil young master in a slop world is bad enough because the protagonist will face-slap you until your own ancestors don't recognize you.
But being the evil young master as well as having no PP? That is a tragedy for anyone! Any normal man would cry tears of blood to be surrounded by beauties and not be able to eat them!
But Ren?
He was feeling great!! A huge stupid gooner smile came on his handsome face.
First of all, He was rich, Super rich with money!
Even though it was just a dream, This was better and all! He looked down at his clothes, Gucci suit. Rolex watch that is actually real and not a knockout version!
He touched his face with his hand, so smooth like a peeled hard-boiled egg! He was rich and very handsome!
He looked at all the scary men in black suits standing around the room. All these people respected him and all, If he told them to eat a shoe, They would ask for salt!
At least that is what this Ren thought, But reality was different.
In real life? Nobody respected him, Even the stray dog outside his apartment barked at him with pure disrespect and will piss on his shoes at his sight.
Not to mention, bro was a serious gooner. A pure, professional-level gooner who already reached the peak god-tier boundary.
No friends, No family, and absolute Zero girl.
If you ask him who his true life brothers are? Very simple! His overheating Wi-Fi router and his own invincible right hand.
While foolish normies go outside to get rejected by women, he stays in his room doing extreme high-speed cultivation. Truly a terrifying master of the lonely path!
So even if this was a fake dream, It was a million times better than his real life! Who cares about a broken little brother when you have billions of dollars?! He wasn't using it in real life anyway!
The beautiful charming woman was still screaming at him like a tigress, Interrupting his happy thoughts.
"You are a monster!" She pointed her delicate finger at him, Her heavy chest heaving up and down to show a beautiful scenery. "You beaten people just for looking at you!!"
Ren nodded happily in his heart.
'Damn, I beat people just for looking at me? I am such a badass in this dream.'
"You threw a man in the river because he wore the same shirt as you!!" She yelled with anger, Spitting saliva.
'No BEGGERS should wear what this young master wears, right?'
"And you slapped a waiter because your water was too wet!!"
"..."
Ren blinked his handsome eyes.
'Okay, The original owner of this body was definitely dropped on his head as a baby. But who cares? I have money!'
At that time...
"Are your decision final?"
The chair man sitting at the head of the massive black table asked. He was an old man with many years of experience and a white beard that looked like a goat.
The girl with the extremely seductive figure was named Haruna, And she immediately nodded her small head like a chicken pecking rice.
"I do not wish to be married to a psychopath, however much my family is in debt!" She murmured with her red lips and then added loudly, "The Tokoguri family has given their words that they will help me with money. And I believe that is enough to lift my family from debt."
Ren was honestly surprised in his heart. Because you see, in this dog shit novel, the perspective was always from the real protagonist. So readers will naturally only read whatever that guy sees with his eyes.
So, background details like this were completely missing from it like a giant plot hole!
"And you, Young Master Izanagi Ryuujin, What is your decision? If you don't agree with Ms. Haruna's decision, The marriage will continue based on the old law..."
"..."
A very tense silence filled the huge massive hall. The angry girl looked at him with trembling red lips, her massive peaks shaking slightly under her tight dress. Everybody's eyes were focused on his decision like spotlights.
But Ren, Or should we say the evil young master Izanagi Ryuujin, simply shrugged his expensive Gucci-suited shoulders.
"Give the girl what she wants."
His first words since starting this meeting was this single sentence.
He simply doesn't have any more time to waste on this woman! At least in this dream, shouldn't he enjoy this money and power to the fullest?
He is going to wake up soon and go back to his pathetic gooner life, So wasting time here is just wasteful. He should spend his money like a king, And he should punish some people just like the original owner of this body to feel good!
Only then will he truly become the trash third-rated villain he really is!
After all, this young master had the coolest fucking name in the entire world!
'He he he. Izanagi! Izanagi Ryuujin!'
?!
But of course, His non chalant decision was too much of a huge surprise. Haruna was the one who was surprised the most, Her beautiful eyeballs almost popped out! She never thought this crazy guy would accept this at all!
'Hmpff he might have hitted his head on a brick or something. But good thing he accepted my decision.'
But even when she said that in her mind, For some reason, Her heart beated wildly like a drum. It seems her female ego has taken a big hit with his non chalant response of cancelling this marriage!
He didn't even look at her seductive body! He threw her away like a used tissue paper!
At that time!
Screech.
The owner of the coolest fucking name simply stood up from his soft chair, Then bowed his handsome head to the chairman and non chalantly walked out.
But he had to stop on his tracks because someone had made a dog shit comment.
"Did the infamous young master Izanagi of the Ryuujin clan lost his balls too after your family got relegated from the 'The Supreme Parliament of the Seven Heavenly Demon Dragon Sovereigns Who Shall One Day Devour Heaven and Rewrite the Stars? Ha ha hah!"
The entire huge massive hall just began to laugh out loudly.
Izanagi just winced his handsome face as the cringe in that comedy was too much, And the stupid people laughing for that comedy were like retarded monkeys.
'Well, I know the dog shit author was a patient of late-stage chunibyo but this level of trash comedy... damn...'
But the cringe wasn't just from the comedy, it was from the name of this meeting itself.
'Man, what an edgy lord the author was!'
Izanagi was about to brush it off but he suddenly gotten a very bad idea.
His smooth lips curled up. Well, If you see the guy now, Despite being a very handsome bastard, The unnatural curving of his lips will make you pull your pants down and run away in fear while peeing yellow water.
'He he he... Since this is a fake dream, I can do whatever I want to do right?'
He slowly turned his body back and looked at the fat man who made the joke. He was the head of the Tokogiri family. The exact same family that replaced his Ryuujin family's position at the massive black table, And the same family that will give Haruna the money!
"Maybe..."
He was about to speak but he suddenly stopped himself like a broken car. He has to think this through carefully with his brain.
'Wait a minute... What if this is not a dream and this is my reality now?'
He was thinking that he might have gotten passed through or some shit! And the best way to check if that was the case was to simply speak one magic word in his heart.
The golden finger boon of every transmigrator in these slop novels!
And that word was...
'System! Come forth for papa!'
"..."
"..."
Nothing happened at all! Izanagi sighed relievedly like he just delivered three fat babies at one time.
'There's no system, That means...'
This is a freaking dream! So he confidently turned back around and continued to drop the bomb.
"Yeah, well, maybe if you weren't secretly selling your first ugly wife to the Amamiya Chairman for a 20% company share, Maybe my family would still be sitting in that fat chair. Tehe~"
Izanagi said and even sticked his tongue out like a cute anime girl, Which was extremely disgusting on his handsome villain face.
!!!!
Bomb! A huge nuclear bomb was launched a third time in Japan just now! Because when his vocal cords vibrated those words, The huge massive hall became entirely silent like a dead graveyard at 3 AM in the morning!
"W-w-w-what the dog fart are you talking about you little bastard?!"
The Tokogiri chairman tried to stand up with his short legs, His fat rolls jiggling up and down like a plate of cheap jelly. Not to mention another loud shout came from the side corner like a banshee. And it was the Amamiya chairman's main wife!
"What the hell did you just say with your mouth! Chairman Amamiya, What did my two ears just hear?!"
Chairman Amamiya's old face turned green and then purple. He looked exactly like he just pooped 12 heavy bowling balls straight from his backside! He furiously dapped his wet forehead with his silk hand karichief.
"T-T-T-That... Wife, Let me explain this misunderstanding!"
Izanagi was the only one standing there laughing his lungs out like a crazy hyena with asthma!
'Ha ha ha! This dream is too realistic! I am the best face-slapper in the universe!'
He simply once again began to speak with his lips, And each time he opened his dog poop mouth, More giant nuclear bombs just dropped in the hall!
"Well, That wife-selling business is nothing compared to the Shinomiya family highering the Black Snake assassins to assasinate the young master of the Kiryu clan while he was peeing!"
"Or the secret underground alliance with Kanzaki and Kurogane to destroy the businesses of all the other families to gain absolute control of the city's red light districts!"
"But of course, The Kanzaki clan is secretly waiting to backstab the Kurogane clan with a poisoned knife when all is done!"
Bomb! Bomb! Bomb! Bomb!
The hall errupted into pure chaose! Katana's were unsheathed with shing sounds and the bodyguards of the family began to quarrel like angry street dogs. The chairmans and their family began to spit on each other.
Obviously none of them attack anyone since spilling blood here in the massive hall was akin to a straight up death sentence by the old goat chairman who was generously called...
Wait for it....
Keeper of the Final Throne.
'Well, That's enough face-slapping for today's chapter. Now lets go out and enjoy my money and buy some big lobsters before I wake up from my sleep."
He confidently turned his handsome body.
But he only took two steps with his two legs before he suddenly heard a mechanical sound... coming from... inside his freaking brain mind!
[Ding!]
[Initialization completed!]
[Sorry for the delay, boss! The System was loading extra slow because this was your very first time!]
[But fear not! As long as you haven't tampered with the main plot, this awesome system will carry this boss to become the ultimate, most terrifying underworld king!]
"..."
"..."
[...]
Blink blink.
Izanagi's handsome eyeballs almost popped out of their sockets. He looked back without speaking a word. It was a complete chaotic monkey cage in there.
Then he looked at the wooden entrance door.
Without speaking anything, the confident evil young master just began to sprint with his two legs, Clutching his heart tightly like he had to take a massive explosive dump right now or he dies!
"Fuck fuck fuck! What the fuck system! Why did you come!!!!! That means this is real! My broken little brother is real!!!!"