Tobirama Senju observed the chaotic scene before them—a messy, emotionally charged reunion from beyond the grave. A dry, sarcastic smirk tugged at his lips. He couldn't resist. He turned to the architect of this entire spectacle.
"So," Tobirama drawled, his voice laced with irony. "Was this little soap opera part of your grand plan, Madara?"
Beside him, Hashirama let out an awkward laugh, already trying to smother the tension. "Now, now, Tobirama, let's not be hasty! No one could have predicted this. I certainly didn't."
Madara… simply stood there. His arms were crossed, his face a perfect mask of bored, superior indifference. He was the very picture of a man utterly unfazed by the chaos.
Internally, however, his mind was in a state of complete meltdown. A single, screaming thought was on a relentless loop: What in the actual hell is happening?
'Since when does the Impure World Reanimation come with this much emotional baggage?' he raged silently. 'The jutsu is meant to forge an unstoppable army, not host a therapy session for the departed! Why is MY plan unraveling this early?'
It defied all logic. But he would rather die a second time than let anyone—especially Tobirama—see his confusion.
Tobirama, thankfully, had already lost interest in baiting him. His sharp gaze was now fixed on a couple having an uncomfortable conversation in a corner of the field.
A young, reanimated shinobi was staring, dumbfounded, at a middle-aged kunoichi.
"Futako?" he breathed out, his voice thick with disbelief. "Futako, is it really you?"
The woman, Futako, offered a small, sorrowful smile. "Yotokaze. It's been a very long time."
"You… are you well?" he asked, the question hesitant, as if afraid of the answer.
"I am."
"Did you…?" He trailed off, but the unspoken meaning hung heavy in the air between them.
"I did," Futako confirmed softly. "I got married."
A heavy silence descended.
Yotokaze let out a soft sigh that seemed to carry the weight of decades. "Good. That's… that's good. I'm glad for you. Truly, I am."
"Yotokaze, I'm so sorry," Futako whispered, her gaze dropping to the ground.
"Don't be," he said, and he managed to conjure a genuine, if sad, smile. "I told you, remember? Before I left for the front. If I didn't make it back, you were to move on. Find a good man. Be happy." He paused, gathering his courage. "Is he… is he a good man?"
"Yes. He is."
"What's his name?"
"Kōhei."
Yotokaze's gentle smile faltered. "Kōhei? That's a common name. Which Kōhei?"
Futako took a shaky breath. "Minami. Minami Kōhei."
The name struck Yotokaze like a physical blow. He froze solid, his jaw going slack.
Minami Kōhei.
He knew that name. Of course he did. Because his name was Minami Yotokaze. And Minami Kōhei was his baby brother.
The air rushed from his lungs in a strangled gasp.
"You…" he stammered, his voice cracking. "You married… my brother?"
Futako simply nodded, her expression a turbulent mix of guilt and defiance. "We're family now."
For a heartbeat, the world stood still.
Then, a faint, almost imperceptible tremor started in Yotokaze's hands. It traveled up his arms, seizing his heart. The air around him began to shimmer with a low hum. Tiny blue particles of light started to seep from his body, floating away like ethereal dust.
"Yotokaze!" Futako cried out, her voice sharp with panic. "What's wrong? What's happening to you?!"
Orochimaru slithered forward, a fascinated glint in his serpentine eyes.
"How… intriguing," he murmured, examining the disintegrating shinobi. "His soul is rejecting the reanimation. The emotional distress is causing a spontaneous collapse of the jutsu's binding. How… exceptionally rare."
Tobirama watched for a moment longer before turning away with a dismissive shake of his head.
"Well," he remarked to no one in particular. "That's one way to go out. Doubt he'll be resting peacefully after that revelation." His crimson eyes flicked back toward Madara. "Any thoughts on this?"
Madara sucked in a sharp, irritated breath through his nose.
"Not a damn one," he bit out.
"We, uh… we might need to establish a system for this," Hashirama interjected, ever the peacemaker. "You know, to help them… adjust. Morale is crucial for any army."
'No kidding,' Madara thought, his irritation spiking. 'We can't have our own forces dissolving into sparkles from heartbreak before the battle even begins.'
"Figure it out yourselves," Madara snapped, already turning to stride away. "I have more important matters to attend to."
"Avoiding the problem won't make it disappear, you know," Tobirama's cool voice trailed after him.
Madara answered with a dismissive grunt and kept walking.
This wasn't avoidance. This was a strategic retreat from a problem that was beneath his concern. He stormed back to his tent, the ridiculous echoes of the emotional drama still ringing in his ears. Annoyed, he yanked out his mysterious communicator.
[Magical Girl]: This is so annoying.
The reply was almost instantaneous.
[Dumb Snack]: What's up? Hitting a wall with the Land of Waves plan?
[Magical Girl]: No. The plan is solid. It's just… complicated.
[Dumb Snack]: Oh?
[Magical Girl]: Edo Tensei. I'm using my own cells—infused with the Hollow factor—as a base to create a Hollowfied army. Mass production.
[Dumb Snack]: Whoa, that's actually brilliant. An instant Hollow force. You'll swamp the Land of Waves. So what's the complication?
[Magical Girl]: The complications have complications! They keep dragging their personal lives into it! It's a mess!
On the other end, Yuto cracked a huge grin.
He'd been watching the entire thing unfold, from Orochimaru's summoning the dead to Yotokaze's emotional disintegration. He knew exactly what had happened. But he played dumb.
[Dumb Snack]: Personal lives? Like what?
[Magical Girl]: Like one guys little brother married his fiancée while he was dead, and now he's back and having a full-blown existential crisis!
[Dumb Snack]: Pffft. HAHAHA!
Yuto couldn't hold it in. Knowing it happened was one thing; hearing the arrogant Madara Uchiha complain about it was another thing entirely. It was priceless.
[Magical Girl]: Are you laughing?!
[Dumb Snack]: No! I'm not! cough It's just… a tough situation. You can't really intervene. Probably gotta let them work it out themselves.
[Magical Girl]: Work it out? One of them literally just dissolved into sparkles and vanished out of pure rage!
[Dumb Snack]: Okay, yeah, that's… not ideal. But what's the alternative? You can't force a resolution to a love triangle between a dead man, his widow, and his brother. That's a mess nobody can clean up. They have to choose their own path.
[Magical Girl]: …Tch. Fine. You're right. Forget it. I don't want to talk about this anymore.
[Magical Girl]: How do you beat Tsunade.
Yuto blinked. The conversational whiplash was staggering.
[Dumb Snack]: …Wait, what? Tsunade? In the game?
[Magical Girl]: Yes, in the game! Don't you dare judge me! I'm not slacking off! I'm strategically decompressing! This is vital morale maintenance! Now, are you going to help me or not?
Yuto could almost hear the flustered, defensive tone through the text. He laughed.
[Dumb Snack]: Sure, sure. "Morale maintenance" and whatnot, I get it.
[Magical Girl]: You don't get anything! Just tell me how to beat her!
[Dumb Snack]: Alright, alright. It's all about timing. When she glows gold, that's her super armor. Don't even bother attacking then; you'll just waste your chakra. Back off, wait for the glow to fade, then you strike.
There was a pause on the other end.
[Magical Girl]: Hmph. Understood. Logging on now to test this.
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