Faris, taking Hachiman up on his offer, had been preparing her own drink in the kitchen near the back office when she heard Daru's outburst. It was an uncharacteristic blunder on the hacker's part. Though Daru was usually able to contain his excitement, the sheer weight of the revelation had clearly been too much to suppress.
SAO. Hachiman. Hero.
Faris filed those three words away in the mental archives of her heart, her curiosity now burning brighter than ever.
"So, I'm back in... Arun, huh?"
Hachiman—now in his avatar form, Hachiman—muttered as he looked around. He'd forgotten exactly where he had logged out last time.
"I wonder if they can actually see this? It feels the same as always to me, but if Argo says the feed is working, I'll take her word for it. Well... I hope you're enjoying the show."
He spoke to the invisible audience of six, then began walking toward the city center. As he moved, players along the street began to stop and stare, their voices rising in a ripple of excitement.
"Wait, isn't that... The Ruler?"
"Hachiman-san! Do your best!"
Hachiman didn't pay them much mind; this level of attention was just background noise to him now. The real problem was the other thing that always happened.
"Lord Hachiman! Are you alone today? Please, let me join your party!"
This he could handle. A polite excuse, a firm "no," and he could move on. The next one was harder.
"Lord Hachiman, I dressed up just for today! Could I please take a commemorative photo with you?"
He hesitated. For her, it might be a once-in-a-lifetime memory. Turning that down felt unnecessarily cruel.
"Lord Hachiman!"
"Master Ruler!"
This was his daily life in ALO. The female players were, by far, the most aggressive. It was the reason he rarely traveled alone—he knew exactly what kind of chaos followed in his wake. Seizing a momentary gap in the crowd, Hachiman took to the skies.
He hovered at a high altitude, slowly rotating to give his audience a panoramic view of the world below before ascending even higher. He hadn't warped directly from Arun to Aincrad specifically to show off this vista. He remained silent, assuming "Hachiman-kun"—his AI counterpart back in the real world—was handling the commentary.
Soon, the Great Floating Castle, Aincrad, materialized above him. Hachiman circled the steel fortress briefly before entering through the base.
"Right. First stop in the Town of Beginnings is..."
He made his way to the Monument of Swordsmen.
"Check out the names on the early floors," he said dryly. "Think of it as me just humble-bragging for a second."
Next, he headed to the second floor, the city of Urbus. He stopped outside a shop, staring through the window at a Trembling Shortcake.
"How's that? Bet you're craving sweets now, aren't you?" He gave a small, smug huff of laughter before moving on to the twenty-second floor.
"I'd love to show you more, but the front line is only at the twenty-fifth floor right now. This floor is peaceful, beautiful, and lacks enemies. You'll have to settle for this."
Despite being stopped several more times by female players, Hachiman led them through the scenic routes of the twenty-second floor before finally arriving at the gates of the Valhalla Garden.
"Phew... finally made it."
Exhaustion etched on his face, he pushed open the gates and stepped inside.
"Welcome to my guild, the Divine Paradise: Valhalla Resort. Or something like that."
A vast, opulent hall opened up before him.
"Anyone home?"
A voice immediately rang out in response. "Ah! Hachiman-san!"
"Hey, Leafa. Your brother around?"
"Nope. He's at work."
"Work? Doing what?"
"I'm not sure, but he said Kikuoka—er, Chryheight—introduced him to the gig."
Hachiman winced as the memory of recent events surfaced. "Ah... right. Yukino and I were the ones who drained his bank account. My bad."
Leafa blinked. "Wait, what happened?"
"Long story. Anyway, that's your brother for you." Hachiman gave her a brief rundown of the "incident."
Leafa sighed. "He can be so airheaded sometimes..."
"That's why he needs you to keep him grounded."
"I know," she smiled. Then she looked around. "Are you looking for the others? Yui and Kizmel aren't here—they're probably at the arena."
"The arena? Who else is there?"
"Fuka-jiro, Liz, and Eugene."
"It's mid-day, so that makes sense. Rare for Liz to be hanging out without the usual crew, though."
"She said she was just killing time until my brother finishes work."
Hachiman nodded and started toward the arena, reflexively reaching out to pat Leafa on the head as they walked. She blushed slightly but didn't pull away.
"...Hachiman-san? I mean, I'm happy, but why the head-pat all of a sudden?"
"Hm? Oh... Force of habit. Must be that 'Little Sister Aura' you're radiating."
"What is that even supposed to mean?!"
"I don't even know myself."
Leafa let out a soft giggle. "You know, sometimes you're more of a 'big brother' than my actual brother is."
"Naturally. I'm aiming to be the World's Greatest Big Brother, after all."
"You're weird," she laughed.
They reached the arena just in time for Fuka-jiro to spot them. She immediately launched herself at Hachiman in a flying "Lupin Dive."
"Hachiman-suwaaaaan!"
"Gross."
Hachiman stepped casually to the side, and Fuka-jiro ate the dirt with a resounding thud.
"Oof!"
Leaving her face-down on the ground, Hachiman walked over to Lisbeth and Yui, who were standing by the sidelines.
"Liz. Yui."
"Hachiman!"
"Papa!"
"What's the situation?" Hachiman asked, gesturing toward the center of the ring.
Kizmel and General Eugene were locked in combat.
"I made a new weapon for Kizmel over Christmas," Lisbeth explained. "Eugene's giving her a live training session to help her break it in."
"Training, huh? Looks like Eugene's the one on the ropes."
"Exactly," Liz noted. "She's redirecting his power with pure technique. It's impressive."
"She's been watching Papa and the others fight for a long time," Yui added. "She's a formidable warrior now."
Hachiman nodded and stepped onto the sands. Sensing his presence, the two combatants lowered their blades.
"Yo, Hachiman. It's been a while."
"Hachiman," Kizmel acknowledged with a nod.
"Eugene. Thanks for looking after Kizmel. I should have been the one training her, so I owe you one."
Eugene looked a bit dejected. "I intended to teach her a thing or two, but I ended up getting pushed back..."
"Kizmel has always been special," Hachiman reassured him. "Besides, you weren't using the Demon Sword Gram, were you? Don't sweat it. Let me take over for a bit."
"Hachiman, are you sure?" Kizmel asked.
"Well, you basically 'married' into my household, didn't you?" Hachiman joked, recalling an old conversation. "It's only right that I be your sparring partner."
Kizmel smiled. "I am grateful."
Fuka-jiro, having finally peeled herself off the floor, stomped over while rubbing her bruised face. "Leader! Why didn't you catch me?! Fuka-jiro is heartbroken!"
"Because your face looked like it was primed for sexual harassment."
"Ehh?! Was my desire that obvious?!"
"If you took away the 'desire,' there'd be nothing left of you. Just stay there and watch."
Hachiman and Kizmel squared off. Kizmel attacked aggressively, but Hachiman shut down every opening with perfect counters. Unable to string together a combo, Kizmel was gradually forced into a corner until she finally conceded.
"Ugh... As expected, you are too strong, Hachiman."
"I'll give you a proper session when I have more time," he promised, before beckoning Eugene forward. "Eugene, you're up."
"Hmph."
"And use Gram this time. You look unfulfilled after that last round."
"Ha! Finally, the moment has come!"
Despite their long history, Eugene had never actually gone all-out against Hachiman. Kirito was usually the one who drew that short straw.
"Let's see what you've got."
Eugene unleashed a flurry of strikes, but his blade met nothing but air.
"Dammit! I can't land a hit!"
"I'm pretty good at reading intent," Hachiman said calmly. He tracked the minute shifts in Eugene's stance, dodging with inches to spare.
Hachiman pressed forward. The moment Eugene put his full strength into a swing with Gram, Hachiman parried just enough to lock their weapons. In the same breath, Hachiman delivered a sharp blow to Eugene's head, sending the General reeling sideways.
"Gwah!"
Eugene shook his head, staring at Hachiman in shock. He realized he'd just been punched in the face.
"A... a fist? You punched me?"
"Yeah. Using a dagger at that range felt a bit overkill."
"Dammit... you really are something else."
"It's just a matter of compatibility. I'm better at fighting people than monsters."
"I clearly need more training," Eugene admitted.
"I'll spar with you whenever I can. You're a friend, Eugene."
"Hah! I'll hold you to that!"
Hachiman then gestured to Leafa and Fuka-jiro. "Alright, you two next."
"Wait, us too?"
"L-Leader! You're being unusually generous with your 'service spirit' today!"
"Just get over here."
The result was the same. Leafa fought valiantly, but Hachiman layered counter upon counter until her weapon was sent flying. Fuka-jiro, on the other hand, was momentarily stunned when Hachiman used an illusion to take the form of Nicholas the Apostate. In that split second of confusion, he clapped his hands against both of her cheeks simultaneously—a "double-slap" that left her spinning in circles before collapsing.
"Leafa, you rely too much on your sword skills. It works against regular enemies, but against someone like me, you need to mix in magic to catch me off guard."
"Right... I'll work on that."
"Fuka-jiro... well, she's still basically an apprentice."
Hachiman sighed and picked up the dizzy Fuka-jiro, intending to carry her back to the base.
"Hachiman? What about me!?" Lisbeth called out.
"Huh? I can't fight you, Liz. You're a precious dear friend."
"Ah... I... see."
Lisbeth's face turned a brilliant shade of crimson, and she followed him in stunned silence. Hachiman looked down at the girl in his arms and muttered, "She's actually kind of cute when she's like this..."
Instantly, Fuka-jiro bolted upright, wrapping her arms around his neck and leaning in for a kiss. "Then let the cute Fuka-jiro give Hachiman-san a hot 'beso'!"
But Hachiman had anticipated the trap. He let go immediately, dropping her.
"Gyaa!"
Fuka-jiro hit the ground tail-first with a yelp. "W-wait! Did you notice and lure me into a trap on purpose?!"
"Yep."
"Ugh... I should have just stayed quiet and enjoyed the bridal carry..."
"Probably."
"This is the greatest blunder of Fuka-jiro's life!"
"If that's the case, your life is basically one giant blunder."
"Gah! My heart!"
After returning to the base and dropping off the dramatics, Hachiman logged out, citing a lack of time. Fuka-jiro turned to Lisbeth with teary eyes.
"Liz-san, don't you think Hachiman-san is a little too rough with me?!"
"Actually," Lisbeth smiled, "I think he's enjoying himself. It means he's taken a liking to you."
"Wait, really?! Is this Fuka-jiro's total victory?!"
"I wouldn't go that far, but he definitely doesn't hate you."
Fuka-jiro stood up, pointing a finger toward the sky. "That's it! Next time I have a day off, I'm going to Tokyo to find him in person!"
"Are... are you serious?"
"Serious enough that 'Serious' is my middle name!"
"Well... good luck with that."
"If I can't find him, I'll just hang out with my other friends, so it's fine!"
Unaware of the storm brewing in the form of a hyperactive girl coming to Tokyo, Hachiman opened his eyes back in the private room of May Queen Nyan-Nyan.
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