"Yes?! What is it?! Do you want me for tonight? Is it bed-chamber service?! I don't care if you just keep me as a mistress, please, just have your way with me!"
"...Actually, let's go back to 'Public Mode.'"
"My deepest apologies," Cruz said, instantly snapping back into a stiff, professional posture. "I shall serve you with the utmost sincerity. Please do not abandon this Max."
Even Haruno looked a bit overwhelmed by the whiplash.
"...Sister," Hachiman whispered. "Does she need to 'vent' like this periodically?"
"It seems so. Consider it part of your presidential duties. She's top-tier talent; we can't afford to let her go."
"How am I supposed to explain this to Asuna...?"
"As long as there's no 'actual' damage, it's fine, right? A little skinship is within the margin of error."
"Sigh... I guess."
Hachiman decided to test her "Game Mode" for the rest of the ride.
"Hachiman-sama, acknowledged," Cruz replied.
"Hmph. We're heading into Soleil now. Current status?"
"Anxiety levels rising. Nervousness detected."
"Don't worry. Koneko (Little Cat) will be there to give you a 'warm' welcome."
"Office Manager Koneko. Interest piqued. Likely a very cute individual."
Hachiman turned to Haruno. "See, Sister? Isn't she interesting?"
"No doubt about it," Haruno laughed. "She was born to work at Soleil."
Cruz beamed at the high praise. "Grateful for the generous evaluation."
"Alright, you can switch back to work mode now."
"Understood, Hachiman-sama."
When they arrived at the Soleil headquarters, Rose (Barami) was waiting at the entrance.
"Yo. Thanks for meeting us," Hachiman said.
"I have another errand to run," Haruno said, waving as she headed toward another company car. "I'll leave Hachiman-kun and the new recruit in your hands, Rose."
"Understood, Ma'am."
Once Haruno was gone, Rose stared intensely at Cruz. "I knew what you looked like from the data, but seeing you in person is a shock. It's like a character walked right out of the game. Only the hair color is different."
"You're one to talk, SAO," Hachiman deadpanned. "When you showed up in the real world, I was the one who felt awkward. I did go all out and beat the hell out of you in-game, after all."
"D-don't bring that up! Stop digging up my dark history!"
Rose composed herself with a forced cough and turned to Cruz. "Anyway, nice to meet you. I am the Office Manager (Provisional), Rose."
"Provisional? Well, I guess technically..." Hachiman started.
"Ah! You're Office Manager Koneko!" Cruz exclaimed, her eyes sparkling. "I've been so wanting to meet you! You're a cat, but an 'adult' cat... a bit different than I imagined, but this must be what they call 'Gap Moe.' I am deeply impressed!"
Rose's temple began to throb. "Y-you... You will call me Office Manager Rose. Understood?"
"Ah, yes, Office Manager Ro—"
"You're to call her Office Manager Koneko. Got it?" Hachiman interrupted.
"Eh?" Cruz looked back and forth between Hachiman and Rose. Then, she gave a brilliant smile. "Understood! Office Manager Koneko it is!"
"Guh..." Rose groaned.
"Yeah, that's the spirit," Hachiman smirked.
For Cruz, whose word took precedence was a matter of simple logic. Realizing she couldn't win this battle, Rose attempted a compromise. "F-fine. When it's just us, you can use that name. But when others are around, you call me 'Office Manager.' Period."
"Understood!"
Hachiman shrugged, satisfied. Rose sighed in relief and extended a hand to Cruz.
"I've called the other secretary candidate in today, too. Let's all work together to support this breast-obsessed alien over here."
"Hey! Don't just drop weird labels on me out of nowhere! I'm normal! Just a normal guy!"
"Please," Rose scoffed. "Girls are sensitive to where a guy's eyes are wandering. You think we don't notice your gaze?"
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