I couldn't help but freeze, as Brian's eyes bore into me. There was no doubt in my mind that he knew. But I acted on reflex and spoke before my thoughts could catch up, "If this is about the new bag of dry food in the pantry, I'm sorry, but you're just gonna have to-"
"You know this isn't about the dry food," Brian muttered with a narrowed gaze, "Though do remind me about that later because I can't stand kibble."
I scoffed, trying to play off the fact that I was tettering on the edge of a complete emotional breakdown, "Alright then, if it isn't about the food, what is it? Because if it can wait, I need to get started on my errands."
"Oh, it can't wait," Brian responded without pause as he crossed his arms, "There's no point in hiding it, Lois. I've warned you since the very beginning, when all of this bullshit started, and now you've stepped right into it and gotten yourself knocked up!"
Brian's words were like a knife to my heart, and I felt the ground start to fall out beneath me, but I couldn't give up when I still had something to stand on. "I don't know what the hell you're on about, and lower your voice. I don't appreciate you yelling those wild accusations at me when Stewie's upstairs trying to sleep."
"Oh my god, Lois, just for a moment, could you stop with all the lying!" Brian growled as he threw up his hands, "I know you're pregnant, I can smell it! And I'll save you the excuse of saying it's Peter's because I know you guys haven't done it in over a month!"
My jaw clenched with a mix of rage and despair as I scrambled to think of some excuse or lie that could get me out, "W-what, are you spying on our bedroom or something, listening in, like some pervert!"
"That's besides the point!" Brian shouted, his voice nearly going hoarse, "The real problem is going to be how you're going to possibly explain to Peter and everyone else you know how Megan's pimp of a boyfriend knocked you up!"
I knew the moment Brian shouted out my crime that there was nowhere left for me to run, and I felt my face morph into a mask of regret and guilt, "I-I, I-I d-don't..."
Words failed me as I stumbled back and caught myself on the kitchen counter, "P-please, Brian, you can't tell anyone."
"I knew it," Brian exclaimed, and a small grin of satisfaction split his face, and his tail wagged, "You just couldn't resist, could you, and all for what? One night of guilty pleasure, was it really worth it, Lois?"
As I stared into Brian's glowing eyes, alight with the sick satisfaction of holding the moral high ground and chastising me to make himself feel better about his own failings, I slowly felt my grief turn into rage. Rage I had been suppressing for decades.
"Y-you know what, Brian?" My voice started off soft, but as my emotions soared, so did my volume. "It was worth it. I didn't go there intending to end up in his bed, but I did, and I don't regret it."
I smiled, watching the look of superiority and confidence melt off of Brian's face, "Do you know why? Because, for the first time in years, I was wined and dined, I was taken care of, I was treated like a person with feelings, not like some robot who toils away at the same mindless tasks every single day! I let myself feel for the first time, `"
"B-but cheating is wrong," Brian stuttered out like a broken record, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes, "Yeah, no shit, but you know what's also wrong? Neglecting your wife and kids every night to get drunk, getting into some hairbrained scheme that threatens all of our lives, fighting a goddamn chicken across the town every year!"
"L-look, Peter has his flaws, but-" Brian tried to interject, but I was done letting myself be lectured and ridiculed as if I was the incarnation of pure evil.
"Oh, give it a rest, Brian, you don't care about him!" I shouted over him with a dark laugh, "The only thing you care about is yourself, because you're a selfish, narrsasistic asshoole, and I should know because so am I!"
"How am I being selfish? This is about you cheating and getting pregnant!" Brian shouted back defensively, but that only made me laugh harder.
"Because you're not mad I cheated on Peter, you're mad that I didn't cheat on Peter with you!" I pointed an accusatory finger at Brian and laughed when I watched his face go through a thousand emotions at once, "T-that's not-"
"Oh, who's lying now?" I cut him off again with another laugh, "You don't think I've noticed the way you've looked at me after all these years, every 'subtle' glance at my ass, the way you try and make yourself seem more impressive and intellectual compared to Peter!"
Brian scoffed, but I could see the panic in his eyes, "T-that's just ridiculous!"
"Oh, really? I don't think so, Brian. I know what kind of guy you are. You think I'm some dumb bitch that's wasting her time going after and dating guys who treat me like shit, and that one day I'll wake up and realize I need someone thoughtful and caring who's going to take care of me. But the thing is, you're just as bad as the guys you hate; in fact, you would become them in an instant if you had the slightest confidence in yourself. You resent them, because they're everything you aren't: confident, fun to be around, and actually have an ounce of sex appeal to them, and that drives you insane."
"You don't know what you're talking about," Brian growled threateningly, but I didn't feel the slightest bit of danger. "And then there's the fragile ego, trying to put everyone down to make yourself look better."
"I don't have an ego!!" Brian shouted, "I just call out the stupid bullshit, everyone else is blind too."
"Oh, really, you think you're the only one with eyes?" I scoffed, "You're not the only one with a moral compass, Brian. Everyone knows right from wrong; you're just obsessed with being on the right side of everything. Because you know, if you don't have the moral high ground, you can't guilt-trip people into thinking that you're somehow better than them and worth being around and tolerating."
"Shut up!" Brian roared, his mask of righteous anger cracking, revealing his deeper insecurities.
"It's the same reason why you claim to be a writer, but haven't put out a single book that isn't so fad or thoughtless slop. You're a hack, constantly projecting the idea of who you claim to be, with no actual substance or accomplishments to back it up!"
"Yeah, and who are you to talk about accomplishments? You're a stay-at-home mom who never went to college, never had a career, and got stuck marrying a fat, nothing loser because he managed to get you pregnant! And now you're going to lose the little peace of mind you had because you didn't learn the first time around not to spread your legs for every guy who hands you a drink." Brian shot back, but his words didn't hurt me in the slightest. No matter how harsh Brian was being, it didn't compare to the years of self-loathing I had suffered under.
"And I bet it just eats you up inside that you never thought to do it yourself," I snarked back with a grin, "And the thing is, it probably would have worked, I could have been yours, Brian. But now I never want to see or talk to you again!"
Pushing off the counter, I grabbed my keys and stormed towards the door, nearly knocking Brian over in my haste.
"W-where are you going?!" Brian demanded as he practically chased me down, "Y-you can't leave now, you need to talk with Peter-"
I whirrled around, making Brian stumble as he came to a stop, "Don't ever fucking tell me what I can and cannot do. You started this thinking you would somehow come out on top, don't back up now that things aren't going your way."
Without another word, I turned back around and nearly reached the door when Brian called out one last time, "Lois, if you leave now, I'll tell Peter everything!"
I didn't even hesitate as I turned the doorknob and threw open the door, storming outside and getting in my car. At that moment, I almost wanted Brian to carry out his threat. I was done with living a lie; I wanted something new, something that felt good.
And I couldn't help but think of the man who had swept me off my feet and promised to move the world for me, 'I just hope this isn't another goddamn mistake.'