Chapter 25
Hey everyone, sorry for the long wait. Not going to say much here other than I have been facing setback after setback in my writing. Started rewriting my first story because I felt it was not up to par. To make up for that, this chapter is like 3 or 4 chapters in one and about 12 thousand words in total. I hope you all enjoy it.
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"I have to admit, I was initially unsure about working with Ruth, and part of the reason was simply that she was a woman. My views on women back then were pretty typical for someone from my generation—I thought of them mainly as homemakers and caregivers, not business leaders or decision-makers. However, even back then, I knew it would be foolish of me to overlook all she achieved during those early years of her career, and her work ethic remains truly remarkable to this day. The first time I saw her film, Raging Bull, I realized she had the talent of a director and the insight of a writer. Plus, I admired her strong stance against the Nazis. I knew we could create something great together." – Michael Curtiz
-1940-
-Ruth POV-
"Ruth!!!!! Oh fuck!! Oh fuck!! Don't stop... Please don't stop," Liz cried out in a loud and passionate voice. Having long since given up all pretense or hope of keeping quiet as my fingers moved in and out of her overheated sex.
I found it thrilling when she gave in completely like that. The mix of her passionate cries and the fierce look she shot my way for pushing her to reach this point brought me immense joy. I had no doubt that even while she was experiencing absolute ecstasy, she was also cursing me for convincing her to have sex in my private room on the luxurious ship heading to Hawaii. There was something incredibly exciting about the way she looked at me, filled with both desire and anger. It was kind of like teasing a lioness with a piece of meat behind glass. There was no real danger of harm, but there was still this feeling in the air like I could be harmed, and that was exciting for me. It's why I always had to push her as far as I could each and every time we fucked.
"You want to cum, babe? Want to cum for me again as I fuck your tight little cunt with my fingers?" I ask, already knowing the answer, but wanting, no, needing to hear her say it for me.
"Yessssss… fuck, yessss… please Ruthhhhh pleaseeeee," Liz pleaded desperately, clutching the bed sheets tightly. Her body, if not her mind, had already surrendered to me. Whatever dignity she hoped to hold on to tonight had long since vanished into thin air.
"Then cum for me slut, cum and let everyone hear what a dirty little whore you are for me," I say in a lustful and commanding voice.
I felt a sudden chill when our eyes met. The intense glare she shot my way after I called her a slut and a whore made my heart hammer in my chest. I knew I would regret my words later when she came down from her high, but at that moment, all I could think about was the way Liz completely let go around me. She was overwhelmed with pleasure, screaming even louder than I expected, and for a moment worried that someone might hear us. Fortunately, it was late, and nearly everyone would be asleep by now. Besides, the sounds coming from the ship and the soundproofing of the room were enough that it was unlikely anyone would hear her screams.
Not that Liz would have cared at this point. She was so far past the edge that it wouldn't be till tomorrow that she would realize how loud she was. I thought as I finger fucked her through her 4th? Or was it her 5th orgasm of the night? It was hard to say as I didn't keep count for either of us. Though I was pretty sure it was at least five by now. I thought as I removed my fingers from her tight pussy, and brought them to my lips, where I took them in my mouth and sucked them clean as Liz just lay there covered in a combination of our sweat and sexual fluids.
As I gazed down at her, I was once again more enchanted by her beauty. Liz had always been beautiful. From the first time I met her, she could stop a crowd just by walking by, but over the last year or so, her already enchanting body had only grown more radiant. She still sported a slim hourglass figure, but thanks to me, her gluteus and abductors were more pronounced. This gave her hips a more pronounced look that, according to many magazines, was driving men crazy. Well, men and this woman right were.
I had tried to get Liz to work more of her core muscles so her abs could match my own, but while she loved how solid and cut my abs were, she wanted a trimmer, leaner look. She felt that while spotting a six-pack was all well and good for me. Her lips and tongue proved how much she loved them. She felt they were not feminine enough for someone like her and today's beauty standards. She wasn't wrong, so I worked around that. Instead of definition, I designed her workouts to give her a softer, more feminine look. Not that anyone would dare say that I didn't look feminine, but I men did hate it when you had more muscles than them.
Overall, my girlfriend looked amazing; she was absolutely stunning. So much so that I couldn't resist leaning down to kiss her neck and softly touch her hips. Showing her just how much I wanted to keep making love to her. And really, who could blame me when someone as beautiful as her was right in front of me?
Leaning her head to the side so her girlfriend could kiss her neck, Liz's body, which was overly sensitive from the number of back-to-back orgasms it had just experienced, whimpered and moaned at her girl's kisses. It felt so good, but at the same time hurt just a bit. "Ruth, mmmm… Ruth please. Stop, love, ahhhh."
"Are you sure that is what you want, love?" I ask, ready to push forward if that is what she really desired.
Sadly, Liz had had enough for the time being and said, "Y…yes, please….my body, it's….fuckkkkk," she hisses that last part.
Getting the message, I sit up and smile, "Ah, I see. Too much?"
Looking at me with soft and somewhat dazed eyes, Liz says, "Way too much."
"Ahhhh, but I want more," I say in a brat-like voice.
Which makes her roll her eyes at me and say, "Give me 10, no, 15 minutes, and I promise I will make it up to you."
Hearing that is all I needed to perk right back up and say, "Oh, alright."
Leaning down, I give her one more soft kiss before standing up and watching as she rolls over on her stomach. Showing off her nice round peach. Again, a product of my doing. Her natural bust size may not have been much to talk about when compared to my own girls, but her ass is simply divine. She always did have a cute little butt, but after a change in diet and routine exercises, it was now far rounder and… well, I will just say it, spankable. The way it jiggled each time I smacked it, either during sex or just for fun, was such a delight to see. And yes, yes, I know I am horrible, but if you got to play with something so fine, you wouldn't be able to help yourself either. Besides, it wasn't like it was my idea to change her body so much. That was all her.
While Liz would never say it out loud, she was always very self-conscious about her body. She often found it lacking in certain areas, as most girls did, and this especially applied to her breast size, which was a comfortable, perky B cup that I loved. Love them or not, however, whenever she looked at my own sizeable C-cup that bordered on D-cup and sat high on my chest, it could tell she was more than a bit envious. You know, when she wasn't in the middle of worshipping them with her mouth and hands.
Anyway, there wasn't much I could do to help her when it came to her breasts. The first breast enhancement surgery happened way back in 1895, but it wasn't safe or very effective. It wasn't until 1961 that doctors created the first silicone breast implants. Even then, I wouldn't recommend them to any woman until at least the 1980s. By that time, it wouldn't really make a difference for Liz.
All I could do for her was help improve what God had already given her, and honestly, I think I did a good job. Her body was now a work of art that I caught her admiring on more than one occasion. They say vanity is a sin, but I strongly disagree with that notion. While, yes, it could be a rather unattractive quality, if used right, it could build self-confidence, and in the industry we were in, confidence was more than half the battle.
I thought as I traced a finger over the curve of her butt, making her moan softly. Then I gave it a playful smack and watched it jiggle, much to my delight. She, of course, looked back at me with a glare, but did nothing. She was too tired right now to bark at me for it. I smirked as I got up and walked over to the camera that was currently pointed at the bed where Liz was lying. Picking up the camera, I looked at it with a smile.
The camera in my hands was the latest creation from Hedy, known as the HLS-2 prototype. It's a surprisingly compact camera that runs on batteries and is designed to be portable, though it still weighs an impressive 30 pounds. This sturdy camera can capture both color and black-and-white film, record sound, and even has a small zoom feature for getting closer to the action. I have to hand it to Hedy; she truly is a once-in-a-lifetime genius. I mean, I already knew she was, but holding this camera in hand only confirmed what I already knew. This might be one of the most advanced, if not the most advanced, handheld film cameras ever made, not to mention one of the priciest, which is why it's still just a prototype. I can't imagine it will be available for everyone to buy for at least another 5 years, and that's a conservative guess.
I had given Hedy around 10,000 dollars to see what she could make for me, and she had made me a monster. At least I hoped so. The camera in my hands had nearly cost all of the 10,000 dollars I had given her to develop, and honestly, its film quality was still largely unknown, but that is why I had it with me. I was going to Hawaii anyway to scout locations for our next project, and thought now would be as good a time as any to test it. Well, that, and I wanted to film the equivalent of a sex tape with Liz for some time now. Something that nobody but Liz and I needed to know about, or would ever know about, seeing as if it was found out she would kill me. Convincing Liz to have sex on film had been a task in itself, and after promising her a number of times that no one would find out, she had agreed. If anyone ever found out about this or the film got out somehow, I was a dead woman walking.
I checked to make sure everything was still working and smiled as I turned it off. Then I glanced at the clock on the wall. It had been over an hour since we started, which was exactly what Hedy had promised. That was great news! Now, all I needed to do was test it thoroughly later and let Hedy know how it performed. She was currently too busy to test it herself. What with her working on different movies and all, she didn't mind if I did all the testing. What mattered was that I shared the details of how it did afterward, so she would know what needed fixing. Honestly, the more I thought about it, the more I was convinced Hedy was way too smart for the film world. If she had only been born a man, she could have been a scientist or something along those lines, but life had different plans for her.
Setting the camera aside, I slipped into a light night robe and made my way to the living room. I settled onto the couch, grabbed some papers, and began to look them over. My first focus was on the preparation for a film, *Dragon Seed*. Orson was already busy with the casting process, which was proving quite challenging. In the greater Los Angeles area, there were about 30,000 people of Asian descent, but very few of them were experienced actors.
We already had our leading lady, Naru Naoki, who had been taking acting classes with us since arriving in LA and was showing a lot of talent. However, we had difficulty filling the roles. Luckily, we were able to bring on Anna May Wong, an actress who had stepped back from Hollywood for a while. She was very interested in the two films I had planned for this year. Those films, of course, were Dragon Seed and Flowers of War. Each film had a strong anti-Japanese Empire message that really resonated with her. Although she had some concerns about the film's star being Japanese, she decided to overlook them for the sake of the project. Plus, this was a great opportunity for her to play a significant role in a major production. Something that she rarely got the chance to do.
In addition to her, we've also brought on Philip Ahn, a young Korean actor, to potentially play the role opposite Naru, as long as we don't find someone better during the open auditions we're going to hold. We've also cast a young woman named Jadin Wong, a very talented dancer who has appeared in a few small acting roles. However, outside of these three, we're still searching for more actors. While I'd prefer to avoid it, there is a chance we might have to use yellowface to fill the remaining roles. It's not something I want to do, but I would be a fool to let my distaste get in the way of business. That said, if we do end up going that route, I hope we can keep it to a minimum.
Aside from that, everything in the early stages of production was going smoothly, and filming was set to begin in late January or early February at the latest. Orson was really excited to start his second movie after the success of Citizen Kane. He had learned a lot from making Citizen Kane, and now he was eager to take his creativity to new heights with his next project, Dragon Seed. Orson was known for his vivid imagination, and the script for Dragon Seed was exactly what he wanted. He was working hard to finish the preparations so he could dive right into filming.
After setting down the paper I had been reading, I picked up another one about the movie Casablanca and couldn't help but smile. This time, finding the right cast had been easy. Humphrey Bogart was ready to take on the role of Rick Blaine, and he would be paired with Jenny Blake. We had reached out to Selznick International Pictures to see if the relatively unknown Ingrid Bergman would audition for a part, but David O. Selznick, the head of Selznick Pictures, said no. He didn't explain why, but I suspect it was because he liked to be in charge of everything. Even though I hadn't met him face-to-face, everyone in Hollywood seemed to know about his reputation for wanting control over his projects. Since we weren't planning to collaborate with him, he probably didn't want anyone else, including Ingrid, taking any steps without his full approval.
Naturally, I was just making assumptions, and I could be completely off base. But in the end, it didn't really matter. The man had made his decision, and I had chosen someone else, but only after I gave Liz a chance to audition for the role. She was still upset with me for not casting her as Susan Alexander Kane. This was particularly frustrating for her, since rumors were swirling that Jenny might be nominated for an Academy Award for the part.
To keep my girlfriend calm, I had relented and let her audition for the part along with several dozen other actresses, just in case someone showed up who would be a better fit than Jenny. Sadly, while Liz's audition was passable, it failed to impress Michael Curtiz, who I agreed would have the final say on casting as soon as he signed on. Oh, sure, I could have overruled him; after all, it's not like his contract stated he had final say. It was more of a verbal agreement, so there would be nothing he could do if I forced the issue. However, I was a woman of my word, much to Liz's annoyance, when I told her Michael wanted Lana Turner, who was his first pick.
Unfortunately, talks with MGM about bringing Miss Turner on board didn't go as planned. They wanted one of their own directors to take charge of the movie "Casablanca," which frankly wasn't going to happen. There was no bad blood between us, and MGM was still eager to distribute the film. However, this time they would receive only 20 percent of the profits, down from 25 percent last time. This change happened because other big studios were now showing interest in the project. After the big success of "Citizen Kane" and the good performance of "Raging Bull," several major studios were expressing their desire to work with us.
All the studios were making similar offers to MGM, with RKO providing the most attractive deal. Fox was the only studio that was still being difficult, however. Darryl F. Zanuck was still holding a grudge over our acquisition of Shirley's contract, even though MGM had initially shown interest in her first. Really, he was being a child. Everyone knew you shouldn't let personal feelings get in the way of business, but if he wanted to act like one, there was little I could do about it. Nor did I really want to.
In the end, since both Ingrid Bergman and Lana Turner were unavailable, the role eventually went to Jenny. Honestly, she performed just as well as Turner during her audition. The main reason Turner got the part was her experience, not necessarily her talent. While Jenny had a lot of talent, she hadn't appeared in many films; mostly, she had been a background extra and only got her first speaking role in 'Citizen Kane,' where she quickly proved she was an actress the world needed to pay attention to. Michael, however, had his doubts. He had seen many new actors struggle after their first speaking parts and wanted someone he could count on when filming began. Still, he wasn't too upset that Miss Turner couldn't take the role.
Liz's audition went fairly well, but her distinctive, deep voice didn't quite fit the character we had in mind. I knew that from the beginning, and it became clear to Liz afterward as well. So, missing out on that role didn't upset her too much. Plus, Raimondo had another opportunity lined up for her. She felt much better when he managed to land her a part in MGM's upcoming movie, Ziegfeld Girl, where she would star alongside Judy and Hedy. It wasn't even that hard to get her the part, as MGM was happy to have her, seeing as Liz was very popular at the moment. Many people believed she was revolutionizing the modeling industry with her unique looks and style. MGM realized, just as we did, that any project she was involved in at this time was likely to succeed based simply on this fact.
Setting aside the paperwork related to "Casablanca," I picked up something more personal to review. It was a list of recent artworks that had been added to my trust. In total, I had received seven new pieces—five from Nazi Germany and two from the French Resistance. Seeing this made me smile, as it showed that the mob had started taking action. I wasn't surprised by how quickly they were moving; like sharks sensing blood in the water, they had quickly jumped on the opportunity I had presented to them. Additionally, the French Resistance was helping me prepare one or two of the actors for my project, Dragon Seed, once we reached some agreements, of course.
There's nothing quite like the power of money to get people motivated, I think to myself. When I shared my idea with them, they jumped on it and took off running. Just a few months later, I was already seeing some amazing results, which really showed how clever they were and how good they were at making profits. I also knew they would likely try to exclude me from the process, but that didn't bother me. In fact, the further away I was from their operations, the better. If things went wrong, or the US government did react to what they were doing as I had hoped, then plausible deniability would be wonderful to have. Besides, my Godfather and uncle would make sure I got my share, no matter what happened.
As I glance at the list, I can't help but smile when I see the names of the artworks. The first on the list is Starry Night Over the Rhône, one of my all-time favorites. My father had already bought me its sister painting, Starry Night, as a gift for my 10th birthday in 1931. So, owning this new piece feels like I'm completing something special that my father started. It might sound sentimental, but since he's in prison, having both of these artworks makes me feel a little closer to him.
The next artwork on my list was "Silver Favourites" by Lawrence Alma-Tadema. A well-known Dutch painter. While I can appreciate the quality of his work, I must admit that his frequent use of themes from classical Roman times doesn't really excite me; I find them a bit tired and unoriginal. Still, it was a nice addition to my collection.
After Lawrence, the list noted two notable pieces by Franz Stuck, a well-known German painter whose work can be hit-or-miss for me. Don't get me wrong, he was a wonderful artist, but when compared to other German artists like Albrecht Dürer or Caspar David Friedrich, I found him rather lacking. That said, I did find myself drawn to two of his pieces, which were very dark in nature but spoke to me more than most other paintings, aside from Francisco Goya's famous Black Paintings. These paintings were, of course, "Lucifer," which depicts a man as the embodiment of the devil, and "The Sin," which illustrates humanity's fall from grace. Some feminists argue that this painting unfairly blames women for their downfall, but I disagree. I do agree that the painting clearly depicts Eve as the classical femme fatale who led Adam into temptation; but the fact is, both know the rules and both choose not to follow them.
Besides, it wasn't Eve who was the star of the painting. Like always, both men and women failed to see the forest for the trees. People who were so focused on Eve missed the snake. The snake had those evil eyes full of malice and hate. If anything, Eve looked innocent, even lost, but the snake knew what it was doing and took a sick type of joy in its actions. Much like I did in my own.
Reflecting on this, I have to wonder who I was. Was I like Adam and Eve? Did I know the rules and ignore them, or was I the snake who put the idea in their heads to begin with? If I was being honest, I was both. I was well aware of what my actions caused and had also come up with the idea. In this way, I was both in one. Just like my father and anyone who decided to take their shot at being something more than normal.
The last piece I received from Nazi Germany was a painting called An Allegory of Art" by Luis Ricardo Falero. He was a well-known Spanish painter, and I was aware that most of his works were currently in the hands of private collectors. Now I had one for myself, but to be honest, besides the painting's depiction of a naked woman, I didn't find it particularly appealing. I planned to keep it for a few years, then either sell it or give it to my friend Toby as a gift. I knew he had a collection of racy photos and films at his apartment, so I thought he might appreciate something with a bit more cultural significance.
After seeing what the Nazis had given me, I couldn't help but smile when I looked at the two paintings I received from the French Resistance. The first one, called "Jupiter and Thetis," was made by the artist Jean-Auguste-Dominique Ingres. It's such an incredible piece of art that I could hardly believe they managed to get it or that anyone would be willing to sell it. Even with France currently going through hard times, it's such a famous and important painting that putting a price tag on it was nearly impossible. If I had to, I would easily value it at a million dollars in today's money. Or maybe I only thought that because it's one of my all-time favorite paintings—definitely in my top 100!
Last but not least, I looked at the name of the final painting that French had sold me and was once again surprised by what they had sold me. Surprised and very happy, for Louise Elisabeth Vigee Le Brun is one of my favorite artists, but I hadn't even thought I would own anything painted by her. Mostly because she was one of the most important and famous female artists of all time. So, I didn't think the French would sell me anything of hers. Still, it seems fitting that I now own the portrait of Marie Antoinette wearing her beautiful white-and-gold dress. After all, my dad always calls me the Queen of his heart. I just hope my fate doesn't turn out like hers, with my head cut off. No, I like it right where it is, thank you very much.
Putting aside the jokes, I was really happy with what the mob had managed to gather for me so far. However, I was well aware that this was probably just the beginning. I felt confident that I would see even more artwork added to my growing collection by the time the United States finally decided to join the war
"You look happy," a voice comments from in front of me.
I glance up to see what was, to me, perhaps the embodiment of the Goddess of Love herself standing before me. Liz, who was usually reserved outside of intimate, sexual moments, had surprised me tonight more than on occasion. First was her willingness to come to my room to have sex in the first place. It was a huge risk for both of us, and she knew it. Then her willingness to let me film us having sex, and now leaving the bedroom naked except for a glass of wine in her hand. Even when we lived together, she would rarely leave the bedroom naked. In her mind, such states of undress were for the bedroom or bathroom, and now, where else. Yet tonight she had basically discarded everything I had known about her in favor of boldness. Not that I minded, but it did make a small part of me wonder why.
"Ah, I thought you would be asleep by now, my love," I say playfully while eyeing her up and down. Which earns me a knowing smirk from my girlfriend as she pushes her assets out a bit more for my benefit.
"What, and have to spend all day tomorrow hearing you complain about how I didn't keep my promise to you? No thank you. I deal with you whining enough on a regular basis. I don't need to deal with it when I am on vacation as well," Liz replies, using her playful yet classy tone. The same voice she uses when she wants to make herself sound so superior to me. Though it kind of lost its effect, seeing as just moments ago, she was screaming for me to fuck her harder and begging me to let her cum.
Still, I play along and pout while saying, "I don't whine."
A devilish smile formed on my love's face as she said, "Please, you whine louder than Al does when I kick him out of the bedroom at night."
I pouted at being compared to my cat and said, "Wow, someone is in a bitchy mood after I just made her cum… how many times was it? Six times in maybe an hour. You think you be a little more thankful towards me for being so kind to you tonight."
Liz's eyes narrowed a bit at my words, but then they suddenly softened. Before she said, "True, I should be thankful. You always know how to take care of me. Even if I don't like it when you call me a slut or whore as I am climaxing."
"Andyet you never once ask me to stop, my little slut." I think to myself but don't dare voice it, seeing as I'm temperamental and seem to be in a playful mood right now. If I wanted this night to keep going, it was best to keep my mouth shut.
Everyone had their own thing when it came to sex. Be it things as simple as vanilla sex to more exotic things like S&M. One of Liz's things was name-calling. She, of course, would completely deny it if asked, but she loved it when I called her derogatory things like slut and whore during sex. Mix that with a little light humiliation and exhibitionist play, and you got her really going. Once she came out of it, however… well, I found she was very susceptible to wine and chocolate.
"What are you reading?" she asks, glancing at the paper I'm holding.
"Oh, this? It's nothing really. Just a report about some new pieces I added to my art collection," I reply, setting the paper aside.
While my answer was true enough, I didn't go into details about the art or where I got it, and Liz was traditional enough not to ask. Which was a bit strange, seeing as we were both women. Perhaps Liz saw me as the more masculine one in the relationship, and that is why she never pushed too far into my business, but I preferred to think it was more a matter of trust. She trusted me to keep her informed of what she needed to know, and the rest was better left unknown. After all, she knew who I did business with but not what type of business.
"Hmm, I see," She says, placing down her glass of wine. "Anything good?"
"Not as good as what I am seeing right now," I say, lying back and drinking her in.
I know my compliments might sound a bit ordinary and maybe even a little boring, but the way I express them brings a smile to Liz's face. And they're sincere; she truly is a work of art. Even the painting I was having made of her couldn't hope to really capture her beauty.
After a moment longer, she slowly drops to her knees before me and grabs my legs. Pulling them off the couch before spreading them open. No matter how many times she has done this for me in the past, it still gets my heart pumping.
"After this, we really should head to bed. You've got a busy day ahead of you tomorrow," she said affectionately, as a loving wife would to her husband, or in this case, fellow wife.
Which makes me giggle a bit at the image before I say, "Yes, dear."
Then let out a deep, lustful moan as her mouth finds my pussy.
This evening turned out to be truly enjoyable
- Michael Curtiz POV-
When I first met Ruth, I felt a mix of emotions about her. She was the kind of person who was tough to figure out. It wasn't that she was mysterious; it was more like she always kept a straight face. Before I decided to join Lucky Pictures, the only information I knew about her had come straight from the papers. Which any fool with at least some intelligence can tell you isn't the most trusted source of information. This was proven as some articles celebrated her as a creative genius and a leader in the film industry, while others portrayed her in a more negative light. Some even went so far as to say she was everything that was wrong with the current generation of young women. According to these articles, her actions and accomplishments were a direct challenge, if not a threat, to the traditional values that held society together. That, as a woman, her place should be in the kitchen and not among the men of Hollywood.
These, of course, were the tamer things the papers were saying about her. Others were outright calling for her arrest. Especially after the release of "Raging Bull," with many claiming she was a degenerate for making the film and calling on Congress to pass a law forbidding women from making films. As if Ruth didn't get approval from the MPPDA, but people never wanted to hear the facts. Instead, they wanted an easy target, and for the conservative media, that target was Ruth, not the MPPDA.
I found it quite amusing that after getting to know her better, I realized she was a perfect example of how people can be full of contradictions. She was smart yet impulsive, had strong values but was more than willing to act against them, loved to have fun but also had an incredible sense of discipline. She reminded me of a chameleon, changing her personality to fit different situations. This complexity was likely what made her such a fantastic storyteller. Because she embodied so many different sides of human nature, she could create stories that felt very real and relatable.
Additionally, her knowledge of filmmaking was impressive. She had a great understanding of how to use lighting and camera angles to capture shots others would find either impossible or too time-consuming to take. I knew many directors who were much older and more experienced than she was, struggling to understand, let alone accomplish, what she could and did do. However, what stood out to me most was her commitment to the perfection of her art.
Any fool of a director can manage to work for eight or nine hours a day on a film. For those who were passionate about their art, twelve hours was the norm. But for people like Ruth and me, we did at least 16 to 18 hours every day. We were perfectionists, chasing something we already knew we could never obtain, but did it anyway. That was the main reason I agreed to work for Lucky Pictures in the first place. The moment I agreed to Mr. Carlin's proposal, I found myself in a room with Ruth and Mr. Welles, going over what Ruth called a storyboard and I called a revolution in filmmaking.
Now, to be clear, I had seen storyboards before. Ruth was by no means the first to use them, but I had never seen one so detailed. We were not just stitching some things on a piece of paper and calling it a plan. We were taking everything into account. From the flow of the story straight down to the camera angles that were to be used. It even included potential problems we might run into and solutions for fixing them.
For nearly 24 hours, we sat in a room going over every last detail. Where an actor was supposed to stand, what lines were to be said, and when. What the lighting was supposed to be and so much more. It was a monster of an undertaking, fueled by coffee and cigarettes. And finally, when we were done, Ruth asked me if I was open to filming in Hawaii. It was such a strange question, but when she pointed out that, as we couldn't go to the city of Casablanca, Hawaii could provide us with a more authentic feel for the film.
After thinking it over for a bit, I agreed. Then Ruth, with Welles's help, picked up the storyboard we were working on and tossed it out the window. Then we sat back down and started over again. That was until my wife showed up and forced me to go home. That, however, was the moment I knew I had found a kindred spirit. We were alike in all the ways that mattered. We were both travelers on a journey. Searching for the perfection of our art, only to find everything we did wanting. As proven when I talked to her about her masterpieces in "Shane" and "Raging Bull."
She might have felt a sense of pride in her films, and rightfully so, as they were truly remarkable. However, when you managed to get her to talk about them in more detail, you quickly realized she was not fully happy with them. She would go on and on about what could have been done. How she could have used this lighting to better effect, how this angle was not to her liking. Really, the list went on, and some of the things she mentioned were not even possible with the level of technology available, but that was what made her a visionary. It's not often you meet a filmmaker who isn't so caught up in their own success that they can't recognize their own mistakes.
It honestly stung my pride a bit to admit, if only in the privacy of my own mind, that Ruth maybe was the more skilled filmmaker among us. Although I didn't want to accept that idea even for a moment. She may have had talent, but I told myself that she still had a long way to go before she could match my skills. I clung to that thought every time we talked or when I watched one of her films.
"So, what do you think about Oahu as the main filming location?" Ruth asked as we rode in the back of a military vehicle on our way to the Pearl Harbor military base.
I took a moment to gather my thoughts before responding in Hungarian, knowing Ruth could understand me even though she didn't speak the language yet. "Hmmm, I think I can make it work, but both Hawaiʻi and Maui would also be great options."
Ruth nodded and replied, "I was thinking the same thing. If I can persuade the Admiral, we might be able to film on the military grounds, which could give us some unique shots."
I raised an eyebrow and asked, "I thought we were just here to test the new filming equipment? Not talk to Admirals about permission to film on military grounds."
She looked back at me and said, "We are, but if I can convince them to allow us to film on base, we can kill two birds with one stone. Three if they let us use their equipment."
I simply nodded, fully grasping what she meant. Since Lucky Pictures was a small film studio, it was crucial to find ways to save money. That's why Mr. Carlin had worked so hard to convince me to take a deal in which I would earn a percentage of the profits from Casablanca instead of a lump-sum payment. I have to give the young man some credit; he did a wonderful job during the negotiations in pretending that I wasn't the first, last, and only choice to film Casablanca. But unfortunately, I was an old hand at this and had known too many actors to be fooled by his performance. That was why I was being paid $100,000 a year and 5 percent of any film I made for the next 5 years. Which was honestly still lower than my starting price.
If I'm being honest, I could have pushed for more if I wanted, but I didn't. The main reason was that I was truly fascinated by Lucky Pictures. They were willing to take risks that other studios just wouldn't or couldn't afford to take. Ever since the introduction of the Hays Code in the film industry, all the major studios have started to play it safe. The time of innovation and trying new things had come to an end. The very things that had made the rise of the film industry possible had given way to a more cautious approach, which made filmmaking feel both restrictive and annoying. Not that I couldn't find creative ways to tell an engaging story, but being forced to follow such strict rules was never easy for me.
My hope was that by joining Lucky Pictures, I could break free from those constraints and get back to what made filming so satisfying. Of course, Ruth had told me that, for a while at least, we would have to be careful and pretend we were playing by the rules, but it didn't take a genius to realize Ruth didn't plan to follow those rules for long. You only had to read the script for Casablanca to see that.
Under the Hays Code, Casablanca's dark and negative portrayal of Nazi rule shouldn't have been allowed to move forward. Yet Ruth, who hated the Nazi's with a passion, from what I had come to find out, had somehow convinced Mr. Hays to give it the green light. Provided she pulled back on a few things. Like how she had the male lead, Rick Blaine, die during a gruesome torture scene at the hands of the SS instead of joining Free France after he bid goodbye to Ilsa Lund. This, of course, changed the overall feel of the story and the film, but allowed them to keep other more important parts of the script that still got the message across that the Nazi's were an evil force in the world.
Now, how she was able to convince Mr. Hays and Mr Breen, I didn't know. Nor did I really wish to know. She had told me Lucky Pictures, aka her, would fight tooth and nail to get the film released, and she proved it by somehow getting it approved. To her and me, this film was just too important to let die on the grapevine. She wanted the whole world, not just the US, to know and remember what type of trash the Nazi's where.
Yes, you can say I saw why some at the studio said she was more like her father than her mother. While I hadn't met either of them, there was a cold, burning fury behind those sea-green eyes of hers. A fury that would give anybody pause but seeing as they were directed at the Nazis and not me, I found them very attractive to look at.
"Speaking of the new equipment, I must admit, I didn't realize Miss Lamarr was so inventive," I remarked.
Having met her a few times, I found Miss Lamarr a delightful and charming woman of exceptional beauty and a rare talent for acting that few could match. However, I wouldn't have guessed she had the skills of an engineer. Still, I couldn't ignore the significance of the HLS-2 prototype. It marked a major advancement in filming technology. Anyone could see that just by examining the handheld camera, something I honestly didn't think Miss Lamarr could create.
"You should always be wary of a pretty face, Mr. Curtiz. You never know what kind of monster might be hiding behind it," Ruth joked.
I chuckled at her comment and took her words to heart. But it made me wonder—if Hedy was a monster in hiding, then what was Ruth? A demon maybe? Or perhaps she was the devil itself in disguise.
-Ruth POV-
It was hard to keep a straight face when I thought about how easy it was to convince the outgoing Admiral James Otto Richardson, the incoming Admiral Husband Edward Kimmel, and Lieutenant General Walter C. Short to let me perform for the troops. All three men were rigid, no-nonsense military men, but at the end of the day, they were also foolish men who were just as easily taken in by a pretty face as most men were. Sure, when it came to military matters, they were far above my superiors in every way, but when it came to subtle manipulation, they were inferior. They were already aware of the dangers posed by Japan, so when I expressed concerns about a possible war with them, I wasn't sharing any new information. They all understood that conflict was on the horizon. The only difference was that while they were mostly sure war was coming, I knew for sure when and where it would start.
It was why I explained to them that I reached out to my connections in DC to arrange this little meeting. I was scared, or so that is how I worded it to them: with war coming, these boys would soon find themselves on the front lines fighting and dying. That is why I wanted to give them a little show just for them. To remind them of what they were fighting for and to let them know I appreciated everything they were doing for us.
Oh, how I reveled in their surprise at my words. Initially, they didn't appreciate being somewhat pressured into meeting me, but that dislike quickly shifted to astonishment. They weren't accustomed to a woman speaking so passionately about significant issues, especially those they believed were likely to come true. I could see from their expressions during the meeting that their first instinct was to reassure me that war would not come. That I had nothing to worry about, but being the outstanding men they were, they couldn't force themselves to lie about what they knew was true.
That was when I went in for the kill by telling them, "If the war was to come, then I wanted these young men. Who were no older than the boys from my neighborhood, to have a fond memory to take with them into battle. It's the least I could do for those who would be fighting for me and this great country."
At that point I had them in the palm of my hand. They may have been hard-nosed military men, but they were also soldiers who had seen the horrors of WWI. They all knew men, good men, who never came home from that war, or many more who only partly came back. What was the harm in giving the young men under their command a little show before the war they deep down knew was coming?
From this point on, I wish I could say that these high-ranking military officials agreed to help me purely out of kindness, but that wouldn't be a lie. Each person in the room is a top member of the U.S. military, and service often entails significant political responsibilities. Throughout history, military leaders have rarely been just about their jobs as soldiers. Figures like Alexander the Great, Napoleon Bonaparte, and George Washington were not only military leaders but also politicians in some form or another. They had to care about their image and reputation. It came hand in hand with the job.
Take Admiral Richardson, for instance: only after the fact would history realize how right he was that moving the Pacific fleet to Hawaii was a huge mistake. But right here and now, he was little more than a politician who had barked a little too loudly at his boss and was being forced into retirement for his troubles. A victim of the political games in Washington. In fact, come to think of it, he was a victim twice over, as history rarely mentioned how big of a fuck up FDR made in ordering it to Hawaii.
That said, of the three of them, he impressed me the most. While he was being forced out, he still understood how important it was for both the Army and Navy to attract more recruits before a potential war began and let none of his bitterness get in the way of duty. That was a real man for you if you asked me. He had nothing to gain by supporting a live concert and could, in fact, stop it cold if he wanted to, but didn't. If you ask me, he was the better man of the three men who were in that meeting.
As for incoming Admiral Kimmel and Lieutenant General Short, they simply saw this as the perfect opportunity to further promote their image in Washington. My idea to put on a concert for the men, film it, and then release it in theaters was, in their minds, the perfect recruitment drive idea. They were not only happy to give me permission to hold the concert but also willing to foot the bill and let me use military filming equipment to do it.
I was quite surprised and happy by the response I received. I, of course, fully expected the military to support my idea of organizing a concert for the Army and Navy men, but I didn't anticipate they would be willing to cover the costs. The expenses for filming the concert would likely range from $20,000 to $30,000, which isn't too much, but it was money they would have to explain away. Regardless, it was great news for me, since I wouldn't have to pay out of pocket. With the military backing the event, I wouldn't have to worry about convincing one of the major studios to release it, as I had been. They would line up on their own for the rights to release it. After all, getting financial support from the government is a dream for any business, and even a major company like Fox, despite any past issues with the company or me, wouldn't refuse to work with me.
Anyway, with the Navy and Army's support, it took little time for a stage to be built in one of the larger hangars. Sadly, the hangar could only hold up to 2 or 3 thousand people, and while I would have loved to perform for all 75 thousand-plus military personnel, we were not, sadly, living in the early 20th century, not the 21st, when such a thing would be easy to do. Lucky enough, MARS, or the Military Auxiliary Radio System, did exist, so while not everyone could be there to hear me sing, every member of the military on the island of Oʻahu would at least have the chance to hear me sing live on the radio.
It would still be a few more days before the set-up was completed, so in the meantime I spent my time getting to know some of the servicemen and women. Especially one woman in particular, by the name of Evelyn Johnson. A young nurse of such stunning beauty that, for the moment, I forgot how to breathe when I first saw her. Much to my girlfriend's anger who happened to be standing right next to me when it happened.
It's a good thing we were not sharing a bed while we were on the island; otherwise, I was pretty sure that would have earned me a spot on the couch for the remainder of this trip. Though really, could anyone blame me for staring? Evelyn really was that beautiful, but again, like with Jenny, it was more than that. When I saw her for the first time, it was like I was from somewhere but couldn't quite place where. It was that feeling more than anything that had caught me off guard. If I really was such a slut that I would cheat on my girlfriend with every pretty girl I could get my hands on, then I would have set my sights on Evelyn's friend Sandra before I took aim at Evelyn herself. After all, the woman made Liz and me almost from the get-go.
I wasn't surprised that Sandra was able to. Liz and I may have done all we could to hide what we were from people, but the fact remained that the Women's Army Corps, or WAC, was what we were dealing with. While history would disagree on the official number, the fact was that a notable number of women in the Women's Army Corps (WAC) identified as lesbian or bisexual. The exact figure will probably never be known, but it's likely that around a quarter of them might have been secretly gay. Additionally, many straight women who served during WW2 had had short-term romantic relationships with other women simply because there weren't many other options available to them.
Anyway, the main point is, if I ever thought about being unfaithful to Liz, I had options. Right now Sandra would be my top choice. After her came Evelyn's other friend Betty, who seemed like she would be open to being with either Liz or me—maybe even both—because she was so infatuated with film stars. Betty clearly had a serious crush on us because of our celebrity status, but she especially admired Liz for her style and grace. Liz really embraced the fancy, debutante image that she was known for in my previous life, and it was adorable to see her try to fit into that role, even though she came from a simpler background. It was especially entertaining to watch people who didn't know her background get caught up in the illusion. It would have been quite funny if they had realized that beneath that polished exterior, Liz had a bit of a feisty side!
As for Evelyn, she would be my last pick to try to seduce. Poor thing was so totally straight that getting her in bed would have been a total headache. Would it have been worth it? Most likely, but the amount of time and effort it would have taken was to much effort for me when I had other options readily available. Besides, as I said, I was loyal, Liz. The only way I would even think of fucking another woman would be if she was down for a threesome, and that was never going to happen, sadly. Liz was way too possessive for that.
"Good morning, Ruth," I hear Evelyn call out from behind me.
Turning around, I spot her approaching with a pen and paper in hand.
"Good morning, Evelyn! You're up early today. Planning to write to Flyboy again?" I tease her playfully.
Evelyn blushes a little but smiles back, saying, "Maybe."
I grin at her response and add, "He's a lucky guy to have someone like you waiting for him to come back. What's his name again?"
Her cheeks turn even redder as she replies, "Rafe."
"Rafe," I repeat, letting the name roll off my tongue. It rings a bell, but I can't quite place where I've heard it before, just like with Evelyn.
After a moment longer, I dismiss the feeling. Honestly, it didn't really matter why I couldn't remember where I'd heard that name before. In fact, I felt it was rather silly that she was writing to a guy she had barely known for longer than a few weeks and who was likely to be dead by the end of the month. Sure, the Battle of Britain was over, but there were still plenty of fights going on over there, and with the life expectancy of pilots being less than a year, his chances of coming home were very small. Not that I wanted him to die, but it was the harsh reality of war. Not that I was going to tell her that. I was many things, but I wasn't cruel, and I hoped he came back for her sake.
"A strong name for a strong man. Volunteering to go over there takes a lot of courage. Not many would have the guts to do that." I say, offering a gentle smile, being mindful of how sensitive the topic is.
"Bravery isn't quite the right word. Foolhardy might be more fitting," Evelyn replies with a hint of frustration in her tone as she settles onto the bench outside the house where she and a few other nurses are currently staying. It was also the same place the military had put Liz and me up while we were on base.
I can't help but chuckle a little at how adorable she sounds when she's annoyed.
Thinking of a line from a book the past me once read, I respond, "My dear sweet lady, all men are fools, and all men are knights, where women are concerned. We can't hope to fully understand them, just as they can't fully understand us. All we can do is love them and wait for their safe return."
"Does that apply to you too, Ruth?" she asks, with a knowing tone.
It was clear that Sandra wasn't the only one to figure out that Liz and I were a thing, but I wasn't worried about Evelyn knowing. I sensed that she was a trustworthy person who wouldn't share our secret. Honestly, even if she did, who would believe her if I denied it? Certainly, no one important would.
With a smirk, I told her, "I'm not the type of woman who likes to wait around for things to happen or come to me. I'm more of the go-and-get-it type."
Evelyn nods her head and says, "Yes, that is clear. I still can't believe you're only 19 and have accomplished so much. It makes me feel like I've just been standing still."
While she wasn't an overly driven woman, Evelyn couldn't help but feel a little less accomplished when looking at someone like Ruth.
Laughing lightly, I reassured her, "Don't compare yourself to me, Evelyn. I already hear enough of that from everyone else."
"Can you really blame them? Most men don't accomplish even half of what you have in such a short time. Nonetheless, woman." Evelyn remarks.
I nod in agreement and reply, "That's true, but I have an edge over them. I have strong men who support me and don't mind standing alongside a woman. In other words, I stand with giants."
That was why I loved my boys so dearly. In this world at this time, they were a rare breed of men. The greatest of men. The type who made other so-called men look like little boys who were still scared of the dark.
Evelyn smiles at this. Finding the fact that Ruth was so humble to be a wonderful quality.
"But let's not talk about me today. Tell me more about this fly boy of yours. I want to know everything. I feel like this could be one hell of a Hollywood story." I say with an overly eager tone in my voice. Which only makes Evelyn smile and blush even more as she starts to tell me the tale of how the two of them met. Only this time without interruption from her friends.
Next morning…
I arrived early in the morning to make sure everything was set up for the US Military's first USO show later today. I was happy to see that, once I arrived, the technicians were already halfway done. Not that there was much to do. With the level of technology being what it was today, there was honestly only so much that could be done. In fact, the stage had little more than a mic, some amplifiers, and loud loudspeakers. Not much, but enough to give these boys a show, and God knew they needed one. With what was coming in less than a year, they would need something to remember or take to the grave with them. One happy memory, after all, could make all the difference between a person dying in misery and one in peace.
"Okay, move this piece over to that spot, please?" I asked some of the boys in uniform who were tasked with building the stage and setting up everything. They answered me with smiles. Excited at the prospect of seeing me sing for them later on today. It also helped that I was polite and friendly with them. Not a nag like some woman would be.
As I watched everyone busy at work, I couldn't help but feel a little let down that I wasn't able to convince the higher-ups to keep things a surprise for the guys, like I had originally wanted. Because of military regulations, civilians aren't allowed to work directly on the base. While the team fine-tunes everything and makes some final touches, I make my way to a temporary dressing area to get ready for my performance. I start with some simple vocal exercises and then grab my guitar to practice.
As I practiced, I felt relieved that I didn't have to worry about finding a backup band for my concert. However, I was frustrated that the military at that time was still segregated, meaning that Black soldiers were not allowed to attend the concert. In response to this unfair situation, I decided to assemble an all-Black jazz band composed of Navy personnel to perform with me. The higher-ups in the military recognized my discontent about their decision to exclude Black soldiers but chose to remain silent about it. It was like we reached a slight agreement: I would get my all-Black band for my first USO show, and they would still have a concert. My choice for an all-Black band wasn't just about standing up for what was right; they were simply much more talented at playing the music that would later be known as rhythm and blues compared to their white counterparts.
As I continued to sing and play my guitar, Liz walked into the dressing room.
"Yes, dear? Is there something you need?" I asked her softly, looking up at her.
Liz smiled, approached me, and leaned in to whisper in my ear, "It's nothing; I just wanted to wish you luck for tonight and let you know I'll be eagerly waiting for you when you're done."
Her voice had a sexual edge to it that caught me off guard and made me feel a rush of arousal hit me. This was a bit unusual for Liz, as she typically didn't act this way. Being more than a bit of a prude, her flirting or sexual hits started and ended in the bedroom. Lately, however, she had been acting a bit more forward and jealous over me. Especially around Evelyn and the other women, the WOC. Like me, Liz was well aware that we were surrounded by women who were either lesbian or at least leaning that way. It felt like she was trying to make it clear that she wasn't okay with any funny business between them and me.
It was sweet in a way, but not really needed. Those who knew that I was a lesbian understood that I was in a relationship. Some people in the community even approached me to share a few spots on the island that were welcoming to same-sex couples. They had even helped Liz and me find some private moments to enjoy together while we were there. So honestly, Liz could have relaxed a little.
Placing her arms around me, I smiled as she said, "Baby, let me hold you in my arms for a moment."
Taking a deep breath, I nestled closer into her embrace. At that moment, it felt like it was just the two of us, surrounded by a magical connection that seemed rare lately as our schedules at the studio got busier. I tilted my head up and kissed her softly while she held onto me, gently stroking her cheek as we shared this moment together.
"I'm not going anywhere. I don't feel comfortable with those girls around you. Some of them look at you in a way I really don't like," Liz says quietly, though her voice shows she's a bit jealous.
I have to hold back a laugh at my precious tsundere and instead wisely say, "Okay, dear…"
Later in the evening…
There was excitement in the air as the sailors and soldiers around the bases on the island either turned on their radios or rushed to the hangar where I would be playing shortly. Each one was excited in some way, shape, or form. Had been since the word was spread that I would be performing a show for them live in person.
It was my first ever, and a feeling of specialness washed over them. This was for them and only them. Not for the press, not for money, just for them, as a thank-you for their service and their sacrifice. Though none of them yet knew that by the year's end over 2,000 of them would be dead, and before the first half of the decade was over, 1 million would be dead or wounded. Never to see me or anyone perform live ever again. It was nearly enough to make me want to scream out that the Japanese were planning an attack. In some foolish hope that someone, anyone would believe me.
"Can you believe our luck?" one naval sailor exclaimed, still amazed to be among the 2,000 people allowed to see the show live.
His friend, also a sailor, smiled and responded, "I know! I called my mom the moment I found out my name was picked. Did you know that besides that performance at the Academy Awards, Miss Luciano hasn't performed live for anyone? Just imagine how much the tickets would cost if she charged for this show!"
Both men fell silent, lost in thought about how expensive it would be to see her live, probably at least $10 or $20 a ticket, given her popularity. The fact that she hadn't held a real concert yet would only make the tickets even more sought after.
They really felt fortunate, a sentiment shared by everyone whose names had been drawn. One by one, more lucky attendees filled the hangar, creating an energetic atmosphere as it grew crowded. Some found chairs at the front, while others chose to sit or stand on the wings of the planes still in the hangar. Everyone was excited and eager to enjoy the show.
Soon, an announcer walked onto the stage and grabbed the microphone.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I am very excited to introduce our special show tonight. We have a remarkable guest who has taken time out of their schedule to entertain you all. Please give a warm welcome to... Ruth Luciano!"
When I heard my voice, I closed my eyes for a moment. I took a few deep breaths before I made my way up the steps toward the front of the stage. Immediately, the boys in the crowd started whistling and hollering as they saw me in my little black dress. An homage to the not-yet-born or even dead Princess Diana. Complete with the multi-strand pearl choker, but with a green sapphire and diamond cluster. As I walked forward with all the confidence my father, uncle, and Godfather taught me, I smiled and waved at them. Taking control of the moment before it could control me.
As I glanced back at the band, I gave them a nod, and they began to play. There was no need for me to tell them which song; they just knew the tune. Everyone in the audience was familiar with "Kiss From A Rose," and just like countless others, they adored it. In an instant, they were captivated by my voice. Each person felt, if only for a moment, that I was singing just for them, as if the song was meant for their ears alone.
"(~Ba-ya-ya, ba-da-da-da-da-da, ba-ya-ya
Ba-ya-ya, ba-da-da-da-da-da, ba-ya-ya
Ba-ya-ya, ba-da-da-da-da-da, ba-ya-ya
Ba-ya-ya, ba-da-da-da-da-da, ba-ya-ya…)
As the music fades and the band begins to finish their performance, the crowd erupts into loud cheers. I can't help but smile back at them. They truly enjoyed the song and were eager to show their excitement; being able to see it performed live was something many of them had never thought they would experience.
"Thank you, thank you. You guys are so sweet and so handsome." I say and wink at them. Making the men cheer loudly, but I was actually looking at Evelyn while I said that. Otherwise, I don't think I could have made it sound as real as I did if I wasn't.
"As some of you may know, I'm still fairly new to music, so I don't have many original songs to share tonight. I'll be performing plenty of covers, but that doesn't mean I came empty-handed. My first album comes out this February, and I've decided to give you brave men and women a special sneak peek, if you'll allow it." I say, and the crowd cheers at the chance to hear my new material before anyone else.
Holding up my hand, I add, "However, I have to warn you that this is being recorded live, so no rude or obscene gestures. And no catcalls, that is, unless you are very handsome. In which case I can forgive you."
My joke at the end gets all of them laughing, and of course they whistle as I play to the crowd, even turning around in a slow circle to show off my tight dress, then looking over my shoulder with teasing eyes.
Once I am facing them once more, the band starts to play a more mysterious, slower song as I say, "This next song, for some reason, I think fits me perfectly, and it's called "Wicked Game."
(~The world was on fire, and no one could save me but you
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do
I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you
And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you…)
The audience fell silent, lost in their thoughts as they listened to the song. It had a sad but beautiful feeling, and her voice was rich and powerful, reaching deep into their emotions. When the song finished, they erupted into applause, cheering for her to sing another one.
I quickly dove into singing "My Eyes Adored You" and "You Are the Reason." Both songs focus on themes of love and affection, and I noticed that many men in the audience started thinking about the women they had left behind when they joined the military, or about their current girlfriends. I decided to tweak some of the lyrics, especially in "My Eyes Adored You," since the original was about a man's feelings for a woman. However, the essence of the song remained intact and still conveyed deep emotions. After all, who hasn't experienced the pangs of young love that didn't quite work out?
(~My eyes adored you though I never laid a hand on you
My eyes adored you like a million miles away from me
You couldn't see how I adored you…)
The next song, "You Are the Reason," required very few changes. Other than changing the music to fit the time, it still conveyed an intimate, personal feeling, especially with only the piano and violin playing as I sang.
(~There goes my heart beating
'Cause you are the reason
I'm losing my sleep
Please come back now
And there goes my mind racing
And you are the reason
That I'm still breathing
I'm hopeless now…)
After those first two songs, I decided to change things up a bit by diving into more upbeat tracks. They weren't really my usual style, but that didn't stop me from giving it my all. If I wanted to put on a memorable show, I knew I had to keep the concert going for at least an hour or two. In between songs, I paused to take requests and chat with the audience, making it feel like we were all connecting on a personal level.
Unfortunately, I couldn't perform any more of my new songs just yet; they weren't ready for a live audience. Still, as I wrapped up "Over the Rainbow," it was clear everyone was enjoying themselves and having a great time.
"Thank you, thank you, everyone! You've all been such a fantastic audience, but I'm afraid it's time to wrap things up for the night. Before I head out, though, I want to leave you with one last song—one that holds a special place in my heart. I wrote it for someone very dear to me, although I won't spill the beans on who it is," I tell them, prompting lighthearted boos from the crowd.
I playfully roll my eyes and say, "Alright, fine! It's Red in the front row."
I point to a handsome young man who suddenly goes wide-eyed and blushes furiously, shaking his head in disbelief while his girlfriend beside him shoots him an incredulous glare. Since they're both friends of Evie, I had a little pull to ensure she and her closest friends could make it to the show.
This makes everyone chuckle, and I add, "Okay, okay, it's not him! But this song is indeed for someone special, and they already know who they are."
Glancing back at the band, I say, "Boys, take a breather; you've earned it."
Then, I pick up my guitar and announce, "This one is called '1000 Years.'"
With that, I begin to sing.
(~Heart beats fast, colors and promises
How to be brave? How can I love when I'm afraid to fall?
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow…)
I love all my songs in their own way, but this one felt particularly special. The emotion I poured into it was equally unique, and I could see that the men and women in the crowd were feeling it too. Liz, watching from the side, understood the depth of it all; after all, the song was meant for her. She just never expected her girlfriend to perform it in front of so many people, but it made sense. Both she and Ruth had always hated hiding the truth about how deeply they loved each other. This song was Ruth's way of announcing to the world that she was in love—and, more importantly, that she was in love with Liz.
But as the final notes rang out, Liz was overwhelmed by a sense of foreboding. Just like Ruth, she felt as if she was approaching an ending—an ending to something she couldn't even admit to herself.
"Thank you, thank you so much, everyone, and good night!" I called out to the cheering crowd as I stepped off the stage, their applause still ringing in my ears.